


Broken Vows

by multifandomfics



Category: Captain America (Movies), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/M, It's Complicated AU, M/M, Non-Explicit Sex, Post-Divorce
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2016-05-11
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:45:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 143,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/multifandomfics/pseuds/multifandomfics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After being divorced for five years, Steve and Tony reconnect at their son's high school graduation.  Despite being married to someone else, Tony persistently pursues Steve.  Steve's torn, for years he had wished he and Tony were still together, but he doesn't want to have an affair with a married man.  Around the same time a new man enters Steve's life, an architect named Bucky.  Steve doesn't know what to do, should he let his ex-husband back into his life or should he open himself up to something new with Bucky?</p>
<p>It's Complicated Stony/Stucky AU</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was Clint and Natasha’s fifteenth wedding anniversary. It was almost familiar standing there with Tony, sipping champagne, as if no time had passed. The sun was shining, the outdoor venue was stunning, and romantic. He and Tony got married in a place just like this one.  
Steve remembered the two of them attending Clint and Natasha’s wedding, it was only a few months before he and Tony had tied the knot. However despite time passing at a rapid pace, a lot had certainly changed since then.

“Well, I’d like to propose a toast,” Tony smiled brightly, “Not many couples can say they’ve been married twenty-”

“-Fifteen years, Tony,” Steve tapped him playfully, “they’ve been married fifteen years.” He smiled apologetically to Clint and Natasha.

Tony turned giving Steve a look of fake bewilderment, “Would you let me finish, Steve? I was obviously going to say... twenty years short of thirty five years,” He mockingly shook his head at Steve, “You know somethings just never change, you love to correct me don’t you?”  
Steve laughed, “Only when you’re wrong, Tony.”

It was easy to forget, as Tony was standing beside him, all that had transpired between them, that is however, until Sunset reappeared. Sunset was Tony’s new wife. She was wearing, or well wasn’t wearing, some ridiculous get-up that Steve couldn’t begin to describe. In any case it certainly wasn’t the proper attire for someone attending an anniversary party.

Steve sighed, “Well, Clint, Nat, I hate to leave but I need to get everything taken care of before flying off to New York this weekend. You know with Ant’s private school graduation and whatnot. Thanks for having me.” He turned to Tony and Sunset, “I guess I’ll see you two in New York. I hope you have a safe flight.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sunset smiled over enthusiastically, “Which hotel are you guys staying at?”

Steve smiled back politely, “It’s the Courtyard, I believe, what about you guys?”

“Oh, we’re the same! What a coincidence! How fun!” Sunset’s smile never faltered, it was impressive considering how awkward the encounter was.

“Great,” Steve said crossing his arms, “See you there.” He began to walk toward the gate before Natasha stopped him.

“Steve, please don’t tell me you’re leaving because of _them_ ,” She indicated Tony and Sunset, “because we _like_ them- well, Tony- but we _love_ you and the last thing we want is to make you feel uncomfortable.”

Steve smiled appreciatively, “Nat, that’s not it. Tony and I have been divorced for five years, he’s been married to Sunset for nearly as long, I’ve gotten used to it. We’re _fine_ now. Besides I have to pack for myself and for the kids. New York may be a vacation for Tony and Sunset, but for me it’s practically a work trip. With Ant graduating, two years early might I mention, and the other two to worry about, I doubt I’ll get much relaxing done.”

Natasha patted his arm, “When you get back maybe you should call Sharon, or Phil. They’re both great, and you deserve to be happy, Steve.”  
“

I don’t know, Nat,” he said shaking his head and walking the rest of the way to the gate, “right now dating is the last thing on my mind.”

She waved before calling out, “Have fun in New York! Give Ant a big smooch for me!”  
Steve turned giving her a mock salute before running to the parking lot to his car. He didn’t even notice the lingering looks that Tony was giving him from afar.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Steve did go home and pack, but it didn’t take him nearly as long as he anticipated. One advantage of the divorce was that he and the girls weren’t nearly as picky as Tony. So long as they all had enough clothes on their back to keep them warm they were satisfied. Tony however, needed everything to coordinate from his tie to his socks. Packing for him, since Tony was far too busy at the office- or as Steve discovered, screwing Sunset- always took hours and somehow Tony was still never satisfied with Steve’s selections. He would then spend the entirety of the trip moaning and groaning about how he looked “ridiculous’ and how no one should ever be seen leaving the house like he was being “forced” to.

Steve pushed the memories out of his mind as he walked into the bathroom to pack some toiletries. The master bathroom was spacious, far too spacious for just Steve. He tried his best to ignore the second sink- Tony’s sink- and pack without thinking about how they used to get ready together in the mornings. He tried not to think about how they would tell each other what they had planned for the day ahead, and when they’d be home. Steve couldn’t help but bitterly wonder how many of Tony’s lies were told in here. How many times had he said he had a meeting but was really going off to see Sunset? How many times had he complained about how demanding work was, only to be sneaking off with someone else? He angrily grabbed his toothbrush and toothpaste before leaving the bathroom as quickly as possible.

He looked at the clock, it was nowhere near time to go pick up his two daughters from their summer camps yet. He decided to go down to the bakery he owned, and take care of a few things.

  
Baking had started out as a hobby for him when he was young. Although, after spending a year in France studying, it had become something of a passion for him. Upon arriving at his bakery, he jumped right into things taking orders, baking sweets and busing tables as if he were just an employee. While he had staff who were perfectly capable of doing all this, he liked it. Doing the little things made him feel useful and needed, and god knows he craved that feeling after the day he had just had.

It was relaxing to bake all of his specialties and make money doing it. Timothy Dugan, one of his most beloved chefs, created small talk as they began working on some of their fresh bread. It was so wonderfully distracting from this morning, until the conversation inevitably turned to Ant’s graduation. “So you guys are headed to New York for the weekend?”

“Yeah, Ant’s graduating from that boarding school Tony sent him to. He really strived there though. He’s graduating and valedictorian, and the kid’s only fifteen years old. His dean even said he could have graduated last year in the top ten if he wanted. You know Ant though, my kid was not going to graduate early if he wasn’t going to be the best.” Despite how much Steve hated that Tony had convinced both Ant and Steve that going to boarding school across the country was a good idea, Steve had to admit that it was the right call. Ant did so well there, he had his pick of colleges worldwide. However, Steve couldn’t stand how far away Ant was. Even though Tony could afford to take the girls and go visit whenever he saw fit, Steve did not have that luxury.

Tim laughed at that, “Man that kid is all Stark, Steve. You’ve got quite the genius on your hands. Make the most of this summer because before you know it he’ll be far too busy to hang out here.”

Steve snorted, “Please, he’s already too busy. He already has several admittance interviews scheduled this summer, so that the schools can convince _him_ to pick _them_. It’s unreal, Dugan. The girls are just as busy, if not more. Tony’s got them signed up for every summer camp known to man. It’s started already. They haven’t even been out of school a week and they already have camp.”

“Maybe that’s a good thing, boss,” Dugan said as he began to knead some dough, “this way you can relax and take some time for yourself. Lord knows you never have the time to.”

Steve shrugged, “Maybe…” It wasn’t likely, Steve had no interest in taking time for himself. In order to do that he’d have to deal with a lot of other crap that he’d much rather keep buried. So he’d throw himself into his home improvement project instead. He had wanted to add on to the house and make it more _his_ ever since Tony left, but with the kids, he was never able to get around to it until now.

After spending a few hours in the bakery it was time to go get the girls, first was his oldest daughter, thirteen year old Stephanie. She somehow got the best traits of both him and Tony. With no distinctive features they had no idea who she biologically came from, and Steve loved that about her. She had a heart of gold and was easily the smartest one in her class, winning every science fair and debate team competition in a landslide.

Next was his baby, Natalia. She was already eleven years old and she was way too much like Steve. It scared him. Natalia was stubborn and always getting herself into trouble, but most of the time she was defending a friend or schoolmate, and Steve could never find a way to actually discipline her for it.  
It wasn’t long after he had both girls in the car that the complaints began, “Please tell me that, _Sunset_ and her _spawn_ are not going to be there.” Natalia spat from the back seat.

Steve frowned disapprovingly, “Now, c’mon. Of course Sunset and Robbie are going to be there, they’re part of the family. Besides I’m sure Ant will be very happy that everyone is there.”

Stephanie crossed her arms, “I doubt Ant will care if they’re there or not. It’s not like he even _likes_ them.”

Steve sighed, “Steph, Tal, you know that Sunset and Robbie are part of the package now when it comes to your dad. If your father is going to be somewhere so are they, and there is no way that he is missing Ant’s high school graduation.

“So, can you two try and have a positive attitude? We’re going to New York, you’re going to see your brother, and the whole family will be there. I’ve already packed most of our stuff. You two just need to make sure you have everything you need before we leave on that plane tomorrow. Sound good?”  
Both girls nodded silently. Steve could practically feel the anger radiating off of Natalia, but Stephanie had seemed to have accepted seeing her step-mother and step-brother for the most part. If not she wasn’t visibly angry about it, which counted as a win in Steve’s mind.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

When Steve and the girls arrived home, he was happy to see Sam, his architect, and another man waiting for them. “Girls,” He said as they got out of the car, “double check your suitcases, I’ll be right in.”

The girls obeyed as he walked over to the two men, “Sam,” he smiled shaking Sam’s hand, “I’m glad you could make it. Sorry I was a little late, I had to pick up the girls.”

“No problem,” Sam said, “I understand you’re a busy guy. This is James,” he motioned to the man beside him, “He’s been helping me with your extension.”  
“Great! Why don’t you two come inside?” Steve led them to the his study, which doubled as the dining room/kitchen area. He did most of his best work in there.

James handed Steve the blueprints, “Here are the plans that we worked out so far. Let us know if you have any notes.”

Steve studied the blueprints carefully, he had been wanting to add an extension to this place since he bought it. On paper it looked like his dream come true, with the exception of a few minor details. “Wow, Sam,” Steve beamed, “this is incredible! It’s almost exactly what I envisioned."

Sam put his hands up, “Don’t thank me, thank James. The whole thing was him. I just forwarded him your emails.”

Steve turned to James, who he had previously not paid much attention to, “Wow, James-”

“Please, don’t call me James. Sam is the only one who insists on that, Bucky is just fine.” James-no Bucky- smiled.

“Bucky,” Steve corrected, “this is amazing! I’d love to give them a proper look before giving you all my notes, but right now things are kind of hectic.” He paused looking the plans over once until his eyes fixed on the plans for the bathroom. The room looked lovely-except for the sinks. Steve did not need to be continuously reminded of how alone he was by a second sink.

“Say no more, we can just schedule another appointment for whenever you’re available.” Bucky said understandingly.

“Great, does next Wednesday, 9:00 AM work for you?” Steve asked showing the two men out.

Bucky nodded, “sounds like a plan.”

“Oh and one quick thing,” Steve said about to close the door, “I only want one sink in the bathroom. There’s no need for two.”

Bucky smiled, which Steve really didn’t understand because who likes critique, before saying, “Oh, sorry I just assumed-since in the emails you mentioned your children- that there was a partner of some sort.”

Steve paused thinking carefully of how to phrase everything. He didn’t want to tell too much about his personal life, but the man was going to be redesigning his home it was going to come up eventually, “No, it’s just me. I’m divorced and anyway I just really don’t need the sink right now.”

“‘ _Right now_ ,’” Bucky repeated, “but you may need two sinks one day and it really will be easier if you just get two installed as we’re doing things and-”

“-No,” Steve cut him off, “I don’t want two sinks, not now, not ever. If there ever is a someone else I think we could make do taking turns with the sink.”

Bucky put his hands up defensively, “No problem, you’re the client. You don’t want two sinks, there won’t be two sinks. I didn’t mean to ruffle any feathers.”

“No harm done,” Steve relented, “I just- I only need one. I’ll let you know if I have anymore notes. It was nice meeting you.” He looked to Sam, “Take care, we’ll be in touch.”

“All right, Man” Sam nodded to him, “You’re in good hands here, James is one of the best.”

Steve closed the door before calling Ant to make sure everything was set for the upcoming weekend.

“Hey, Pops,” Ant answered the phone cheerfully, “everything okay? You guys can definitely make it, right?”

“Of course, nothing on God’s green Earth could keep me away. I’m just calling to make sure everything is good on your end, because if you want to wait another year and weigh your options no one would be disappointed-” Steve began before he heard laughing on the other end of the phone.

“No way, Pa. I’m already too smart for this school, one more year would just be boring. Besides I’d be depriving the college world of my genius, and that would just be purely selfish of me.” Steve could practically hear Ant’s cocky grin over the phone.

Steve hummed, “Hmm, yeah we certainly wouldn’t want _that_ now would we? Seriously though, Ant, there’s no pressure. Even after you graduate you can take a year or two off just figuring everything out. The girls and I would love to have you back home for more than just two months out of the year.”

“Ha!It’s tempting, Pops, really, but like I said, who am I to deny the world this level of intellect? I mean you’ve seen what Dad can do and I’ve got just as many if not more opportunities. It’ll be a cold day in hell when I give that up.” If Ant’s words didn’t sound exactly like Tony’s, his voice was also nearly identical to his father’s. It was obvious to anyone who knew either Ant or Tony that they were related. Between that and the fact that he and Tony shared the same interests the two Starks had this special bond for most of his life, until Ant found out about Sunset.

Out of all the kids, Ant had taken the divorce the worst. Given that Tony was a public figure, news of their divorce spread quickly, but news about the affair spread even quicker. There was no way to shield the kids from it, every news outlet in the country knew who Sunset Bain was and how she managed to steal Tony Stark away from his husband of ten years. The kids saw it all, and there was no denying it.

Ant had went from idolizing Tony to despising him in a matter of days. While they had managed to repair the relationship over the past few years, it never got back to what it used to be. As hard as Steve tried, he couldn’t understand half of what Ant enthused about. Between science experiments gone wrong and constantly correcting his teachers in school, Steve had no idea how to connect with his only son, and it killed him.

“Pops? You still there?” Ant asked from the phone, Steve had almost forgotten about the call.

“Yeah, Kiddo! Sorry about that, I got distracted,” Steve scratched his head thinking of the right thing to say, “You’re clearly capable of whatever you set your mind to. I just meant that if you want to wait until you’re closer in age to the incoming college freshmen, no one would blame you, least of all me.”

“Yeah, thanks, Pop. I appreciate that, but I think it’ll be better if I just jump in head first. There’s no time like the present, right?”

Steve grimaced, he would love to have Ant home for just a little longer before the boy inevitably went out into the world, but he knew better than to push. When Ant set his mind to something the boy was unstoppable, “So long as you have it all figured out-”

“-Of course! Look, Pa, I’ve got to go! I’ll see you guys in a few days! Love you.” Steve heard the click before he was able to respond.

He set the phone down before he heard the pitter patter of feet racing down the steps. The girls made their way over to Steve. Natalia got there first, “Pa! Guess what! Dad upgraded Steph and Me to first class on his flight! Isn’t that great? Now you don’t have to worry about us until we get to New York!”

Stephanie elbowed her sister before speaking “But we told Dad that we’d have to ask you first. We know you don’t like to fly if you can avoid it. Besides it’ll be fun, we can play games and all that with you. If we go with Dad, there’s almost a guarantee that Sunset and Robbie will be buzzkills.”

Steve sighed as he pinched the bridge of his nose, “Of course you two can fly with your Dad. Let me just speak to him, please? You two go pack an overnight bag, you’re probably going to have to sleep over there tonight,”

Stephanie handed Steve her phone and then she and her sister ran back up the steps to get their stuff. Once they were out of earshot Steve took a deep breath and put the phone to his ear, “Ton, would it kill you to ask me next time, before you tell the girls your great plans?”

“C’mon Steve, I figured it’d be fun. I figured since you got them the past couple of nights, they’d enjoy some quality time with their Dad.” Tony responded.  
“Right, because seeing you this entire weekend won’t cover that,” Steve sighed, “Look Tony, I get that you want to see them and spoil them and all that good stuff, but next time just run it by me first. Technically this is _my_ weekend with them.”

“Sorry, Steve. I just figured that since the girls can get rowdy and we all know you don’t like planes, upgrading them would give you some piece of mind. This way the only person you have to worry about tomorrow is yourself. I thought I was doing you a favor-"

“-Tony, then do me a favor and stop doing me favors. Look you gotta come pick up Steph, and Tal tonight since your flight is tomorrow morning. I’ve already got them all packed, so you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll see you in New York.” He hung up the phone.

He looked up to see Stephanie staring at him. He put on his best fake smile, “Dad’s on his way. He should be here soon.” He handed her back her phone.  
“We really don’t need to go with Dad if you don’t want us to-”

“-Steph, go pack your overnight bag. We are going to have a great weekend with the entire family and something small, like which flight you’re on, is not going to change that.”Steve smiled for real this time, “You two are just going to get a head start.”

She nodded as she headed back up to her room. Steve then sent a text to Natasha. It read “Any chance you can come over tonight for a few drinks?”  
Within seconds she responded “I’ll be there at 9.”

Steve felt himself relaxing a little bit already, if anyone knew how to calm him down it was Nat. He sat on the couch sipping a beer when Tony showed up to pick the girls up. He stayed in the car as usual, and Steve sent them out. “You girls behave! I’ll see you in a few hours. Have a safe flight.” They were gone within an instant.

He sulked back inside and waited impatiently for Natasha to come over. He studied the blueprints that Sam and Bucky had brought over for him. Aside from the sink fiasco, the only real change he wanted to make was to extend his bedroom a little bit. He’d have to ask during their next meeting. A few hours later Natasha was at his door with a big bottle of wine.

“What’s up?” She asked letting herself in and sitting across from Steve.

“You’re just so lucky,” He whined, “Clint is like the most amazing husband and father and I just cannot believe that I ever thought Tony and I were anything like you two. You guys have it all figured out.”

She frowned, “Is this about earlier today? At the party? Seeing him and Sunset. I thought you said ‘It’s been five years, we’re good now.’ Did you not say that?”

“We were fine, until he decided to upgrade the kids to first class on _his_ flight, so now I’m stuck flying to New York by myself, and God things used to be so much easier!” Steve groaned as Natasha poured him a tall glass of wine.

“Steve, of all the things that could be bothering you about this entire situation, this is what gets to you?” Natasha asked incredulously, “Not the way he parades Sunset around as if to throw it in your face? Not that he left you guys to go help her raise _her_ infant son how many years ago? No what bothers you is that he upgraded the kids to first class?”

“Yes, Nat.” Steve said as he sipped his wine, “Think about it. The stuff with Sunset makes sense. The girl’s a computer and technology genius, just like Tony. Raising a young baby would make him feel young, in theory anyway. But the way he always manages to make me look bad in front of the kids, that bugs me.”

“Ugh, Steve,” She rolled her eyes, “that does not make you look bad. It just makes him look good. Tony knows that, regardless of what the custody agreement says, you won the kids in the divorce. You won their loyalty.

“Do you remember how Ant and Stephie used to completely ignore him during his weekends? Do you remember when Talia would cry in the middle of the night when she was with him until he agreed to take her to spend the night at your place? This is just Tony trying to stay in their good graces. I don’t think it has anything to do with you, Steve.”

Steve sighed, “Nat, none of that is my fault. I was the one who told them to forgive Tony, when I was going through hell, because I know how important he is to them, and how important they are to him. Yet, somehow, I’m always the one getting the short end of the stick.”  
“I know I’ve suggested this like a hundred times, but why don’t you consider dating people,” Nat proposed, “I mean Tony’s moved on, he moved on before your marriage was even over. You should really think about it. This way next time Tony decides to upgrade the kids to first class, you won’t have to fly alone.”

“Look, I appreciate what you’re trying to do, but I come with a lot of baggage. I mean the kids alone are a turnoff for most people. Tony had no problem moving on because people like his bank account. Don’t get me wrong, I’m more than getting by, but I don’t exactly have Stark money. Even if I did, I wouldn’t want to list that as a quality in an online dating profile.”

“Now there’s an idea-”

“Don’t even think about it, Romanoff.”

Natasha smirked, “I’m just saying it wouldn’t kill you to be getting some, Rogers. Tony left over five years ago. It’s time that you at least go and try to meet someone. A few random hookups would probably do you some good. Who knows maybe you’ll find someone in New York?”  
Steve snorted, “Nat, I’m only going to be in New York for a weekend, and I’m spending it with my family. I don’t think that I’ll have the time or the energy for a one-night-stand.”

“Never say never,” She winked. “I hate to drink and run but Clint’s here to pick me up. Have a safe trip. I’ll see you in a few days.”

“Thanks, Natasha. I’ll let you know how everything goes.” He walked her to the door and watched her safely get into Clint’s car. He waved as they drove away. He sighed as he closed the door and locked it behind him. He walked up the lonely steps, through the lonely halls of his empty house and waited for sleep to come. By this time the next day, he’d be in New York with his children as it should be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a Stony Centric chapter. Bucky will be back soon, I promise!

Steve arrived at the airport earlier than usual.  Mostly because he had compensated for getting up early and getting the girls ready, but it took a lot less time just having to take care of himself.  Getting through security always took him a long time.  He was always pulled aside and identified.  The TSA always thought he was trying to impersonate Tony Stark’s ex-husband.

“Sorry, sir,” said the TSA agent apologetically, “We just have to make sure everyone is who they say they are.  I was under the impression that you didn’t fly.”

Steve resisted the urge to roll his eyes.  Tony had to give that one interview after they had gotten married, saying that Steve practically needed to be sedated before the honeymoon flight.  “I _prefer_ not to fly, but sometimes it’s a necessary evil.”

“Sorry again, Captain Rogers,” The agent handed Steve his identification back, “I hope it didn’t cause you too much trouble.”

“It’s been a long time since someone called me ‘Captain.’  I haven’t been active in the military in almost sixteen years.” Steve said reminiscently taking his ID back, “Take care.”

Steve took a seat by his gate, and began reading the newspaper.  However he didn’t bother reading too much, almost all of the articles mentioned either Stark Industries or how Tony and Sunset were expected to be seen in New York this weekend due to Ant’s graduation. Steve groaned as he decided to just wait silently until it was time to board.

Steve was one of the first people to board the plane.  He found his seat, a window seat.   _Great_. As if he didn’t hate flying enough, now he got to see every little thing in the sky with them.  He felt nauseous just thinking about it.

As the plane continued to be filled, someone finally was seated next to him.  She was a relatively young woman, maybe a few years younger than he was.  He wasn’t paying much attention to her but he felt her eyes on him.  He tried to ignore it, he was used to this.  Most people couldn’t quite figure out where they knew him from, but occasionally someone would either recognize him from back when he had his accident or from the divorce scandal.  Steve hoped that this woman wouldn’t figure it out.  He couldn’t stand having to answer questions the entire flight about the military or Tony.

“Steve?” She asked.  He wasn’t as lucky as he hoped, clearly this woman recognized him, “Steve Rogers?”

“Yes,” he sighed, “That would be me.”

“You don’t recognize me, do you? It’s Sharon.  Sharon Carter, Natasha’s friend.  She’s been trying to fix us up for months.” She explained politely.  Steve felt the dread disappear, only to be replaced by embarrassment.  How could he not recognize her, Nat was practically showing him this woman’s picture anytime she had the chance.

“I’m so sorry,” Steve laughed at himself, “I didn’t recognize you.  Being on planes make me anxious, I’m kind of out of sorts.”

“It’s not a problem.   We’ve only met once or twice anyway, why are you travelling to New York?”

“It’s my son’s high school graduation.  He’s only fifteen, he’s too smart for his own good, but,” he put his hands in the air jokingly, “I won’t be the bragging parent for the whole plane ride, I promise.  Why are you headed to New York?”

Sharon sat back in her seat, “Well, last night my boss calls me, and tells me that there’s an emergency meeting, and I need to get to Manhattan as soon as possible.  I was freaking out trying to find a flight, then Natasha calls me letting me know that there are two free seats on this flight.  Thank god for her! Otherwise I’d be driving all that way.”

“Natasha told you about this flight?” Steve asked.   _Of freaking Course_ , Natasha would try to set him up on an _airplane._

Sharon nodded, “Yup, she said that she heard about a few cancellations and that I should call and see if there’s anything available.”

“Uh, Sharon, I don’t know how to tell you this,” Steve grimaced, “Natasha kind of used this situation to set us up.  I told her that my daughters were going to be flying with Tony, and apparently she saw that as an in.”

She laughed, “Does it bother you that Natasha set us up?”

He shrugged, “I don’t know, and please don’t take this the wrong way.  I’m really not looking for anything right now.  You seem like an amazing person, you really are lovely, but I’m just not looking for anything at the moment.”

“Steve, relax.  You don’t need to apologize for anything.  Honestly, I’m not really looking for anything either.  I recently got out of a long term relationship, and I’m throwing myself into work right now. Maybe now Natasha will stop trying to set us up.” Sharon said with a smile.

It wasn’t long after that it was time for take off.  Steve tried his best to be calm but he _hated_ flying.  He and planes did not mix.  Normally, he would have just left a few days earlier and driven to New York, but he was under the impression that he would be taking the girls.

Sharon looked to him, “Steve, are you okay?  You look very pale, and you’re sweating like crazy!”

He took a deep breath, “I’ll be fine, I just don’t- flying-makes-” Then it happened, he puked all over Sharon’s blouse. He looked to her mortified, “I am so sorry. I-this has never happened before, I-”

Sharon just stared at him, her mouth hanging open in shock, “Excuse me.”  She said as she rushed to the airplane bathroom.  She almost got scolded by the flight attendant for walking around while the “fasten seatbelt” light was still on. Until the woman noticed her predicament.

After what felt like hours, Sharon returned to her seat, she somehow managed to put a smile on her face before saying, “Feeling better?”

“Sharon, I am so unbelievably sorry!  I’ll pay for your dry cleaning and the second we land, I will buy you a new shirt.  I can’t even begin-”

“It’s okay.” She said hastily, “it could have happened to anyone.  Besides one of the flight attendants gave me one of the extra shirts they have laying around, so I’m fine.”

There was an awkward pause before Sharon said, “You really weren’t kidding when you said you didn’t like planes.”

“Yeah,” Steve answered in embarrassment.  That was the last they spoke to each other for the rest of the flight.

 

* * *

 

Steve took a taxicab to the hotel, still feeling nauseous the entire time.  He entered the lobby and walked up to the check-in desk.  “Hi,” he said weakly to the man behind the counter “Steve Rogers, checking in.”

The receptionist was typing some information on the computer when suddenly Steve felt a strong hand grip his shoulder and give him a firm shake, “Looks like your flight got in okay.”

Steve groaned, “Can I help you with something, Tony?”

“Oh, no, don’t mind me,” Tony said still not removing his hand from Steve’s shoulder, “I was just checking to see if there were any other rooms available on my floor for the girls to stay, because we’ve had such a blast today and-”

“Tony,” Steve said warningly pushing Tony’s arm off his shoulder, “no.  I reserved a room for the girls _with me_ , you got what you wanted.  You took them on the plane, you got to spend the entire day with them.  I would appreciate it if you just let me have this one.”

“Psh, Steve not for nothing you don’t look so good, and I know how you get after long flights,” Tony put his arms in the air in exasperation, “I’m not trying to be the bad guy.  Just trying to help out so maybe you can recuperate in time for the graduation.  I just don’t want Junior to worry when he sees you, I mean-”

“-No. Read my lips Tony. It’s. My. Weekend.  If you want to bring the girls to some fancy hotel and rent out an expensive room when it’s _your_ weekend knock yourself out, but not this weekend.” Steve said taking the keys from the receptionist.

He walked away from the desk, and walked over to the girls who were sitting on one of the couches in the lobby. “I hope you two behaved yourselves.”

Stephanie’s eyes widened, “Papa, you need to sit down!” She looked at Natalia angrily, “I told you we shouldn’t have let him fly alone!”

“Stop, stop, stop,” Steve said as he obligingly sat down between the two girls, “I just need to get a good night’s sleep and I’ll be fine.”

“Yeah right,” argued Natalia, “You look like death! Go lay down, we’ll catch up with you later.  We can hang with Dad until then.”

Steve waved dismissively, “Has anyone told your brother that we’re here?”

“We called him, but apparently he’s too busy to make it over here until after the graduation.  He’s still working on his speech,” Stephanie explained still looking concerned, “Pa, you really should lay down for a while.”

“Go ahead, Steve,” He heard Tony say standing behind them, “I’ll return them to the room you reserved for them by ten.”

“Yeah, Pa! Go lay down, we’ll be fine,” Natalia said pulling him in for a big hug, “We can talk when you wake up.”

Steve hung his head in defeat as he picked up his bag and headed up to his bedroom.  He was seething the entire way there.  Tony _always_ did this, he always found a way to hijack his plans with the kids. Steve opened the door to his room, he didn’t even bother to unpack or change, he just collapsed on the bed and fell asleep.

 

* * *

 

When Steve woke up it was seven o’clock.  The girls were probably still out with Tony.  On the plus side, he was feeling a lot better.  But he was _starving_ , he changed his clothes as he headed down to the lobby and walked over to the receptionist.

“Could you possibly, point me in the direction of the nearest restaurant?” Steve asked politely.

“Other than the hotel restaurant, there’s a pretty decent pub across the street.” She suggested before turning back to the computer screen.

Steve nodded, “Thanks.”

As he was about to walk over to the hotel restaurant, he spotted Sunset and her son Robbie heading in that same direction.  He immediately made a B line for the exit and headed toward the pub.

He took a seat at the bar and ordered himself a beer, as he browsed the menu.  It was typical bar food nothing too special, but he was so hungry he was sure anything would have tasted wonderful.  Just as Steve was about to order a burger, he felt someone squeeze his shoulder, “Well, this is the last place on Earth I expected to see Steve Rogers.”

Tony took the seat next to Steve. “Tony, I’m just trying to get something to eat, have a drink or two and then head back to my room.” Steve looked around, “Where are the girls?”

“First of all-” Tony began before turning to the bartender, “‘cuse me barkeep, some of your finest bourbon, and keep it coming,” he turned back to Steve, “First of all, I thought you were supposed to be in recovery?”

Steve opened his mouth to respond before Tony continued, “Secondly, the girls _said_ they wanted to go back to the room you arranged for them and unpack.  But I know they just wanted to get away from Sun.”

Steve snorted, “That may or may not be why I’m currently here.  I saw her heading towards the hotel restaurant, and I knew that if you and the girls were there, I’d be obligated to sit and eat and I’ve just had a lousy day.  I just wanted to have a meal in peace.”

“Well it sure doesn’t look like that’s going to happen, huh.” Tony teased gripping Steve’s shoulder yet again.

“I guess not,” Steve said taking another sip of his beer.

Tony squeezed Steve’s shoulder a little tighter, it wasn’t uncomfortable, it was actually almost familiar, “Please tell me you’re not planning on just drinking one beer.  How often does our son graduate two years early and is number one in his class?  You should be celebrating.”

Steve laughed cynically, “Yeah, well if I want to be conscious during said graduation ceremony I should try my best not to be hungover.”

Tony’s hand began tracing circles against Steve’s shoulder, “In all seriousness, Cap, how was the flight?”

“Let it go, Tony.” Steve sighed, “You won, you got the girls, you got to envision me all uncomfortable on the plane, it’s over.” He pointed his finger at Tony, “They’re still coming with me on their return flight, Stark.  Don’t even think-”

“No, you’re right. It’s over.” Tony said taking a sip of his drink.

“And it’s _Steve_ to you.  You never served, and I’m way too far removed from the military world.” Steve angrily took a chug of his beer.

“Believe it or not, _Steve_.  I didn’t come here to fight with you, _Steve_.  I just thought it’d be nice for us to try and be civil for a change.” Tony stilled his hand but didn’t remove it from Steve’s shoulder yet.

Steve looked at him surprised, “Was I not civil enough for you at Clint and Nat’s yesterday? Is that what this is about?”

“No, Steve, it’s just-with the kids getting older we’re going to have to keep seeing each other more and more.  It’s not just, ‘go outside Dad’s here to pick you up’ anymore.  Soon Ant’s going to bring some girl-or boy- or otherwise identified individual- home to meet the parents and do we want him to have to introduce us all separately, or are we going to be the kind of exes who can go to a family dinner together for their kids?” Tony explained, “I mean Stephanie’s thirteen already. Pretty soon we’ll be sending her to boarding school and going to _her_ graduation, and then it’s only a matter of time before it’s Natalia’s turn and then life starts.  Before we know it the kids are going to have to decide who they’re inviting for Christmas dinner, Dad or Pops. I just figure that we might as well start getting along now so it doesn’t come to that.”

Tony’s hand tightened on Steve’s shoulder again, and Steve relented. “Fine, for tonight and this weekend, I will try my best to be civil towards you and _Sunset_.”

“That’s all I’m asking,” Tony said as he patted Steve’s shoulder, “Are you hungry? I’m buying.”

Steve was about to protest when his stomach let out a loud noise.  Tony stared at Steve’s abdomen for a second before saying, “Christ, Steve.  When’s the last time you ate?”

“Um,” Steve thought about it, “Breakfast? And I threw that up on the plane.”

“Sweet merciful lord,” Tony muttered as he turned to the bartender, “Can I get the largest meal you have for my friend here?”

“No, Tony,” Steve sighed as he looked to the bartender, “a burger would be fine, please.”

She nodded, “Coming right up, Sir.”

Tony turned his attention back to Steve, “So what’s new, Buddy? You seeing anyone?”

“Tony, I thought you wanted this to be civil?” Steve said, “I think talking about dating will just complicate this even more than it already is.”

“Oh, so you’re not seeing anyone then,” Tony grimaced, “I mean there are options, have you tried online dating?”

Steve resumed drinking his beer, “God, Tony.  You want to have this talk?  Let’s have this talk.  I’m not dating anyone because I don’t _want_ to be dating anyone.  I already fell in love, got married, bought a house, had kids, and that sure worked out great for me didn’t it?  I guess you liked being married so much you couldn’t even wait for your first marriage to end before you started playing house with someone else.”

“Steve,” Tony motioned for the bartender to refill his drink and give Steve some of the bourbon as well, “You’re right.  What you said is fair.  I made mistakes while we were married, but that was five years ago. Doesn’t there come a point where you want to try again?”

Steve chuckled, “Yeah, right.  After the shit-show that you and your _wife_ put me through the first time around?  The paparazzi harassing me and the kids.  You trying to get full custody so that I would have to end up _paying you_ child support.  The military finally looking into how I should have been dishonorably discharged when I married a man, but they looked a blind eye because he was Tony Stark.  That really makes me want to try again.”

“I know I’ve never said this, but I really am sorry about how the divorce played out.” Tony began.

“Stark, are you drunk? How much have you had? We haven’t even been here an hour.”  Steve looked around incredulously.

“That’s because I’m not drunk, you ass,” Tony frowned, “If I could go back in time, I would have handled that whole situation differently.  I was delusional, I really thought that if I did all those things, and succeeded, then the guilt would just go away if I didn’t see you anymore.  All I really accomplished was chasing my own kids away.”

Steve shook his head, “They love you, Tony.  Honestly, you may not have been a good husband, but you were always a good father.  I didn’t think it was fair how they took sides in the divorce.  They were kids, they just saw it as black and white.  They blamed you because the affair was so public and they lashed out.”

To their relief, Steve’s burger arrived and Tony ordered some sort of chicken thing. It successfully ended the not-so-civil conversation.

At some point, that Steve can’t even really remember, they went from drinking bourbon to shots and the whole atmosphere changed.  They were laughing and reminiscing and not in the way that made Steve want to curl up in a ball and hide forever. No. This was a happy reminiscence.

“Do you remember when we first met?” Tony asked.

“Yeah-yeah! Obviously I remember.  You showed up at the base for some press stunt, and most of the other guys were going all goo-goo-gaa-gaa for Tony Stark.  But you know me, the fact that you were a big shot weapons expert had no effect on me.  The instant your arrogant self figured it out, you went out of your way to make me like you.  You tried to take an interest in what I was working on, trying to figure out what my goals were.  Then you arranged for me to get a position in the military that I was by no means qualified for, but I had no idea you had anything to do with it until after the fact.”

Tony shook his head. “Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’.  “The first time we actually, properly met, was when you were working as a chef in the marines.  I remember being shocked by how amazing the food was, given that it was still a military base.  I went back to compliment the chef, and it was you studying to get your permit to be a pilot.  I knew then that I was going to marry you.”

Steve giggled, “Did you know then you were going to divorce me too?”

Tony didn’t laugh but he began rubbing Steve’s shoulder again-had Tony’s hand been there the whole time? He couldn’t remember, but it was nice.  They were getting along like old times.

Tony let out a sigh, “No, Steve, I didn’t.  Part of me still can’t believe what an idiot I was when I divorced you.”

Steve blushed, “Tony, you’re lying.   _You_ left _me_ , _you_ put _me_ through hell, remember?”

Tony nodded, “Yeah, I remember.  There’s not a day that goes by that I don’t wonder whether or not I made the right choice.”

Tony slowly leaned in towards Steve.  Steve knew that he should pull away before Tony reached him but he couldn’t.  He stayed glued in his position as Tony kissed him and what a kiss it was.  Steve’s brain couldn’t compute anything other than Tony.  Tony’s mouth on his, Tony’s hand on his shoulder, the sensation of Tony’s goatee against his own shaven skin.

Eventually Tony pulled away, how long had they been like that for?  Had it been just a second or had it gone on for several minutes.  Steve couldn’t tell.

Tony pulled out his wallet and left some money on the bar for the food, drinks and a generous tip. He looked back at Steve and flashed his famous Tony Stark smirk, “Is it okay if we go back to your place?”

Steve practically jumped out of his stool, as he grabbed Tony by the hand and lead him across the street to the hotel. Steve pushed the elevator button several times impatiently.  Once the doors swung open Tony practically shoved him inside.  Steve was drawing a blank, which floor was he on again? Right- the third one.  Once the floor was selected, Tony pushed him up against the elevator wall.  His hands-and mouth- were _everywhere,_ and Steve could hardly remember what to do.  It had been so long.

The doors opened, and Steve detached himself from Tony as they raced to his hotel room. Steve struggled to unlock the door, he needed this so badly.  Once the lock lit up green, the two shoved the door open.

Tony made quick work of both their clothes, and Steve realized he had forgotten how amazing Tony looked like this.  Tony’s mouth was everywhere and Steve felt like a kid on prom night, trying to hold on for as long as he could.

Tony must have figured out that Steve wasn’t going to last long.  Within moments Tony was inside of him, and touching him gently in every single way he knew Steve loved.  It was heaven and bliss, and god Steve had _missed_ this.  Steve came first, he certainly had had a lot less practice than Tony in recent years.  Tony followed not too long after though, which certainly helped Steve’s self esteem.

Steve felt himself falling asleep in the peaceful abyss of the room, when his head started pounding.  The alcohol was not agreeing with him, “Tony, Tony,” Steve tapped him.

Tony grunted, “Yeah?”

“You’ve got to go! Sunset’s going to be worried sick and,” Steve felt his heart drop, “the girls are next door! Tony, if the girls find out about this, they’re going to get the wrong idea.”

Tony laughed, “Steve, they’re probably fast asleep by right now.  Don’t worry about them. Just worry about you and me.” Steve groaned as Tony wrapped an arm around his waist.

“Tony, this was…” Steve searched for the right words, but before he could say anything Tony spoke up.

“I know, who would have thought after five years that the sex would still be that good,” He yawned as he made himself comfortable.

“I was going to say that this was a terrible mistake,” Steve said pushing Tony’s arm off of him, “You’re married and I- I never imagined _this_ would happen.”

Tony chuckled as he pressed his lips to Steve’s and began saying between kisses, “Really? Because I’ve thought about it a lot.”  

Steve laughed at that, “ _Sure_ you do.  You certainly upgraded in the divorce.  You got everything you always wanted, Sunset is beauty and brains.”

“Don’t wanna talk about her, Steve,” Tony said as he positioned himself so that he was leaning over him, he resumed kissing Steve, who arched into the kiss. “Do you remember the first time we did this? You were what-nineteen?”

“Yeah and you were thirty.  I should have known then that it wasn’t a good idea to get in bed with Tony Stark.” He shook his head, “I guess I still haven’t learned that lesson.”

Tony smirked, “God, I missed you.”

“You should go,” Steve insisted again, “We’ve got a big day tomorrow.  We don’t want to ruin it for Ant.”

Tony groaned as he rolled off Steve and got dressed, “Seriously, Steve.  I missed you.”

Steve couldn’t bring himself to respond.  He just watched as Tony buttoned up his shirt before he left, carefully closing the door trying not to draw any extra attention to himself.  Steve stared at the ceiling.   _How could he have done this?  He was just as bad as her now!_

He waited for sleep to come, but an awful pit began to well in his stomach. Steve had just had sex with a _married_ man, not just any married man either, _Tony_.  Why did he feel guilty? Sunset didn’t think twice about ruining his marriage. Or had she?  

Tony was always charming, Steve knew that.  Was it possible that he had gotten the whole situation _wrong_ the first time around.  Was Sunset just some victim in all this? Was she just some young girl who fell under the charm of Tony Stark?  It was plausible, he was only eighteen years old when he met and fell in love with Tony. He finally began drifting off to sleep, maybe it was possible that he’d just forget about the whole thing tomorrow morning.  Unfortunately Steve didn’t think he was nearly drunk enough for that luxury.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	3. Chapter 3

Steve awoke to a banging in his head- no- it was someone at the door.  Steve got up, and stumbled towards it, the aftereffects of the alcohol settling in.

He opened the door to see Natalia standing there.  She opened her mouth to say something before looking him up and down.  She frowned, “Pa, you’re not ready yet?  We’ve got to get going soon.”

“What time is it?” He asked confused.

“It’s almost 11.  Pa, the graduation’s at twelve, and there’s always traffic.” Natalia looked concerned and Steve could practically see the wheels turning in her head, “You haven’t been sleeping since Stephie and I sent you to bed yesterday, have you?”

Steve had to think about that for a moment, and then all of the events of the previous night came rushing back to the forefront of his mind, “Oh, no. No-” he turned to his daughter who looked more confused now than she did before, “I’m just going to get dressed and I’ll meet you guys in the lobby.”

He closed the door and raced into the bathroom.  He took the quickest shower imaginable and got dressed in record time.  Steve ran down the hall to the elevator and began pushing the button repeatedly, it was like the sick, twisted opposite version of the night before.

Once he was in the elevator he tied his shoes and tie.  When the door opened he sprinted into the lobby.  He saw Tony and the girls standing by the exit, “Sorry, I’m late,” Steve said frantically, “My alarm clock never went off.”

“You know if you just used a Stark Clock that wouldn’t be an issue-” Tony began.

“-Yeah, yeah, I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” Steve looked around before rolling his eyes, “You’re giving me a hard time when your _wife_ isn’t even down here yet?”

Tony gave Steve an exasperated look, “Sun’s not coming.  Robbie got sick last night so she’s staying here to take care of him.”

“That’s great and all,” Stephanie sighed, trying to diffuse the tension, “but maybe we should get going?”

Naturally Tony had arranged for a car to take them from the hotel to the school.  The girls loved being pampered but Steve would have much preferred to take a taxicab. “I’m surprised by the lack of press,” Steve mentioned thoughtfully, “They’ve been talking about your trip to New York for days.”

“Yeah well, we reserved the room under an alias and we managed to keep a low profile at the airport.  I’ve gotten better at that over the years,” Tony explained.

Steve found that a little hard to believe.  It used to be impossible for Steve and Tony to even go out to dinner without the paparazzi showing up.  Then again, Tony had used to love the attention, whereas Steve hated it.  It was funny to think that there was a time when Tony and Steve’s biggest problem was the press.

Unfortunately while the press may not have been present at the hotel, they were waiting for them at the school.  Steve groaned, “I guess I spoke too soon.”

They departed from the car and tried to navigate through the sea of paparazzi.  It was almost like Deja Vu, reminding himself not to say anything and just keep walking.  Stephanie was in front of him and Natalia right behind him, he made sure to keep an eye on them so they wouldn’t get lost in the sea of cameras and microphones.  Steve had certainly not missed this part of married life.

Once they managed to get into the building, and in the auditorium where the ceremony was being held, they were fine.  The press was not permitted inside the school, so they were able to find their seats in peace.

The auditorium was decorated nicely with streamers and banners. Steve couldn’t believe that his son was going to be giving the valedictorian speech right in the middle of it all.

“I can’t wait to hear Junior’s speech.” Tony said, “Knowing him, it will be something for the history books.”

“Yeah, Dad.  I’m sure _Ant’s_ speech is going to be amazing,” Natalia said sarcastically, “I mean _Ant’s_ been working on it for months.  We all know how good things turn out when _Ant_ works hard on them.”

Steve groaned, that was Talia’s not so subtle way of reminding Tony how Ant detested being called ‘Junior.’  When he was younger, Ant used to love it, but that changed after the divorce.  “Don’t disrespect your father, Tal.”

Stephanie sighed, cutting in and taking the heat off her sister, “Ant really doesn’t like it when you call him that, Daddy.”

Steve smirked Stephanie always knew how to manipulate Tony.  She practically had him wrapped around her finger.  This time, however, it seemed to have little effect on him, “Why don’t you two let me worry about what to call your brother.”  he said raising his eyebrows.

As they waited for the ceremony to begin Steve tried really hard not to think about what had taken place the night before.  He tried not to think about how amazing the sex was.  He definitely tried his best not to think about how guilty he still felt over sleeping with a married man.  However, every time he and Tony made eye contact it all came back to the front of his mind.

Finally, much to Steve’s relief, the ceremony began.  Steve’s heart swelled as he spotted Ant walking with his classmates.  He hadn’t seen his son since January and he almost had trouble recognizing him.  Ant was the spitting image of Tony- minus the facial hair.  Steve couldn’t help remembering when he and Tony brought Ant home from the hospital.  It was hard to believe that now he was graduating high school.

Finally it was time for Ant’s speech.  Steve watched intently as his son made his way up the stage to speak.  “Hello, everyone.  I’m pretty sure most of you know who I am, if not you probably need to upgrade your internet connection,” He paused and the audience laughed, “By anyone’s standards I grew up extremely fortunate.  I can’t remember a time when I was ever hungry, or cold, or deprived of anything I wanted or needed.  

“I know- as a result of this- most people- possibly even you sitting here today- assume that it’s only a matter of time before I end up in the tabloids like my father.  That soon I’ll just be some cautionary tale of another spoiled rich kid wasting his daddy’s money, but you forget.  You forget that with all my privileges, the most important one is that I was fortunate enough to have two parents.  Two parents who raised me and are responsible for where I am now.   _One_ of which taught me that there are other people in the world, who are far less fortunate than me in every aspect.  

“That same parent instilled values in me that I never could have learned elsewhere.  Kindness, respect, courage, but most importantly the value of a promise.  Now I know what you’re thinking. ‘People go around breaking promises everyday.  What’s the big deal?’  I’ll tell you.  Promises are hopes and wishes and dreams that we hope to accomplish not just one day but everyday.  Without promising the people that we love or ourselves anything what can we accomplish?

“I stand here in front of all you today to make you a promise.  I promise to use my education, name and influence to help those who don’t have a fraction of what I have been so luckily given.  I promise not to waste the golden education that this institution has granted me.  Finally, the last promise is to myself, I promise that once I get started, the name ‘Stark’ will be associated with charity and relief work, not tabloids and sex scandals.

“ I know my fellow graduates have made some of their own promises.  Promising to attend college?  Promising to get a good job or enter the family business?  Regardless of what they’ve promised themselves or _you_ there’s only a matter of time before they make good on them. Thank you.”

Natalia smirked before turning to Tony and saying, “I bet you _really_ want to call him ‘Junior’ now, huh Dad?”

Tony was silent.  He applauded but said nothing.  Stephanie must have noticed Tony’s displeasure because she immediately hugged him from the side.  She was always so intune with what other people were feeling.

Steve shot Natalia a warning look as she opened her mouth to speak again.  Meeting Steve’s eyes, she shut it and looked away.  She knew better than to mention it again.

After the ceremony was over Ant made his way over to Steve, Tony and the girls.  He immediately pulled his sisters in for a hug before Tony grabbed and embraced his son.  “I’m so proud of you, Kid.”

Ant let out a deep breath, “Thanks, Dad.” He said awkwardly before turning to Steve.

Steve gripped his son and tugged him in for a hug so tight he wasn’t sure he’d ever let go.  He hated how long it had been since he’d seen him, “You’re too smart for your own good.  I’m so proud, I just can’t wait to go home and start bragging to everyone.”

“Pops, unless you want to throw in how you crushed me to death, you need to let go.” Ant gasped as Steve released him.

“C’mon,” Tony said, “Let’s go grab something to eat,”

“Great idea,” Steve agreed as they began walking towards the car.

 

* * *

 

Once they got to the restaurant the hostility began to die down.  Ant and the girls were laughing, Tony and Steve were getting along.  It was almost like back before everything went to hell, Steve almost didn’t even notice Tony’s hand on his thigh.

“You know, son,” Tony said, “The speech was great.  Really.  The only thing I would have changed was ‘promise.’  It’s not a very astute word.  You should have used ‘oath’ or ‘vow’ something a little more professional.”

Ant sighed clearly agitated, “Yeah well, I didn’t want to use the word ‘vow’ because in my experience _some people_ have a tendency to break them.”

“Ant, apologize to your father,” Steve said angrily, “Your Dad was just saying-”

“-Oh my god! Are you actually defending him?  He wants to talk to me about _vows_ when he broke _every_ one he ever made to _you!_  How the hell does that make any sense?” Ant asked angrily turning to Tony,  “I mean Sunset’s not even here, what did you do to mess that _one up_ , Dad?”

“Anthony Joseph Rogers-Stark that’s enough!” Steve snapped, “Your step-mother is at the hotel because your step-brother is _sick!_ Your dad has been trying his best, but you keep attacking him every step of the way.  Listen to me, what happened between me and your dad is between _me and your dad_! So, knock it off and apologize!”

Ant looked at his feet before relenting, “I’m sorry, Dad.”

Steve sighed, “Now, we were all getting along so nicely.  Let’s just try to relax and have a good time all right?”  He smiled softly to his son, “It’s not everyday you graduate from high school, let’s try and enjoy it.”

Tony looked to Steve and smiled, “Thanks for that.”

Steve had to look away as Tony began rubbing his inner thigh, inching closer and closer to his crotch.  Steve practically jumped out of his chair, “I need to use the restroom!”  He bolted from his seat and hid in the bathroom.

Steve went over to this sink and began to splash water on his face.  Not daring to look at his reflection in the mirror, he was so ashamed and Tony had clearly gotten the wrong idea. The night before was a moment of weakness, nothing more.  Yet Tony was rubbing his thigh and giving him looks and Steve definitely did not want _this._

The door opened and in walked Tony with a smug look on his face.  He walked up behind Steve and snaked his arm around his waist.  He began pressing small kisses to the nape of Steve’s neck.  Steve pushed him away turning to face him, “Tony-”

Tony pressed his lips to Steve’s, who pushed him away again, “Tony, last night was a one time thing.  We both had a little too much to drink, but that’s it.”

Tony smirked, “Don’t pretend you didn’t _love_ it last night.  I mean it was definitely in the top ten for us.”

“That’s got nothing to do with anything,” Steve stiffened as Tony moved even closer to him.

“So,” Tony said leaning his forehead against Steve’s, “You admit it _was great_?”

Steve laughed as he made eye contact with his ex-husband. Things used to be easy as breathing with him.  It felt almost like when they first met, having to keep their relationship under wraps since the military frowned on that sort of thing.  Tony leaned in slowly and this time Steve met him halfway pressing their lips together.  Suddenly it switched from a soft sweet kiss to something much more desperate and needy.

Tony’s hands were on his ass and Steve’s were tugging at Tony’s hair.  He couldn’t help himself, this was _Tony_ , the only person he had ever really been in love with.  After a few moments Steve pulled away gasping for air, “Tony, this is a mistake!  You’re married and… the kids are right outside.  Let’s just go back, eat and pretend that this never happened.” He didn’t wait for Tony to respond he just walked out and rejoined his children at the table.

“You okay, Pops?” Ant asked looking at Steve, concern on his face, “You look a little flustered.”

Steve shook his head panicked, “No- I haven’t been feeling well.  Ask your sisters.”

“This is actually an improvement,” Natalia said sadly as Tony took his seat next to Steve.

Stephanie nodded, “We really shouldn’t have let him fly alone.  I feel terrible about it.”

“You two didn’t fly with him? Are you nuts?” Ant asked angrily, “You know he hates flying! Why would you do that?”

“Stop it,” Steve sighed, regretting having said anything, “I told them they could fly with your dad-”

“-So this is _his_ fault? Of course.  Why am I so surprised?  He’s not happy unless you’re suffering-” Ant began.

“-Hey! I told you to stop it! _I_ told your sisters to go with him.  I’m fine, just a little out of it.”  Steve rolled his eyes.  Ant was the most bitter of all the kids, especially when it came to Tony, for some reason he was particularly agitated today.

Tony took a sip of his wine, “Yeah, he looked a lot better last night.  It’s _weird_.”  He winked at him, clearly not taking or caring about Steve’s displeasure.

“What’s he talking about?” Stephanie asked turning to Steve, “You were in bed all day yesterday.”

“I went to get something to eat and I ran into your dad.  No big deal.” Steve answered.  It wasn’t technically a lie but he didn’t feel any less guilty.

Natalia groaned, “I’m sure the flight tonight will be eventful.”

“Yeah,” Steve sighed dreadfully, before turning to his son, “I’ve been meaning to ask if you’re coming with us, Ant?”

“Nah, I have some college interviews here.  Besides I have to clean out my room and ship all my stuff home.  I’ll fly back next week sometime.”  Ant responded.

Steve nodded, “Just let me know, your room is waiting for you.”

“Of course, Pops.”

“Yeah,” Tony interjected, “but since I’m staying to take him to said interviews, I may keep him at my place for a little while.”

“Whatever Ant wants is fine with me.”  Steve said looking at his shoes.  He wanted more than anything to take the boy home right now.  He hated having him so far away.

“Pops, it’s just for a week or two.  Then I’m all yours for the whole summer.”  Ant said, “Besides Dad’s going to show me all of the new products Stark Industries is putting out next fall.”

Steve put his hands up, “Say no more.  I get it.  I’ll see you when I see you.”

“Can we please go back to when you said that he’ll have you for the ‘whole summer’ after that week?  I don’t think that quite makes sense considering the custody agreement-” Tony began.

“-Dad, I didn’t mean the _entire_ summer, it’s just we normally stay at Pop’s place more anyway,” Ant said honestly.  It was true, when the kids were given the choice the mainly chose to stay with Steve.  Steve’s house was the one they grew up in and as much as Tony tried, Steve was always the more nurturing of the two.  Steve was the one who would stay up with them when they were sick, he would put them to bed every night and read them their favorite stories.  Staying with Steve seemed to be the natural choice when the kids were given the option.

“What colleges are you considering, Ant?” Steve asked changing the subject to something happier and less likely to cause a scene.

“I’m not too sure yet,” Ant said, and Steve could see the boy’s smug smile creeping onto his face, “With all the options I have, it’s hard to decide.  I just want to pick a school that’s going to actually challenge me, you know how difficult that can be.”

Tony snapped his fingers, “See he’s got it all figured out.  Any school in the nation would be lucky to have our kid.  They just have to make it worth his while.”

“Well I don’t mean to be a stick in the mud, but there are some great schools _closer_ to home,” Steve suggested, “I mean it just sucks not having you around a lot, Kiddo.  I’ve missed you like crazy these past few months.”

“Pa, we all missed Ant, but he shouldn’t make this decision based on how close or far away he is from family,” Stephanie smiled softly, “He has to make the choice for himself, and clearly he has the best options available to him.”

 _Great.  Now his thirteen year old daughter was giving him life lessons on making important choices._ “I know that, Steph.  I’m just saying it would be nice, if he ended up going somewhere closer.”  Steve explained.

Natalia snorted, “Papa, if you had it your way none of us would ever leave the house, the State has nothing to do with it.  You won’t be happy unless Ant moves back in and commutes to college.”

“Well I certainly wouldn’t be opposed to that,” Steve joked, “but it would be nice for you to be a long car ride away instead of a several hour _flight_ away.  I mean you’re only fifteen, and college is a whole different world.”

Ant smiled as he crossed his arms, “I appreciate that, Pops.  It’s just, how many people have their pick of literally _every_ college in the country- except the All Girls Schools- I mean my options are limitless.  I’d be foolish if I didn’t consider all of my best options.”

“Of course, I want you to go to the best school possible,” Steve clarified, “It would just be nice if it was in the same timezone.”

Tony muttered under his breath, “Says the man who never even considered going to college.”

“It’s not that I didn’t _consider_ _it_ , Tony,” Steve said avoiding Tony’s eyes, “I couldn’t _afford_ _it._ ”

“Well,” Stephanie said interjecting to diffuse the tension, “I’m sure Ant will make the right decision, regardless of where the school is.”

Steve forced a smile, “Absolutely.”

“We really need to get back,” Stephanie added, “We have to be on a plane in a few hours.  We should get our stuff and head over to the airport.”

“Already?” Natalia pouted, “We barely even got to see Ant.”

Ant hugged his youngest sister, “When I get back home, I’ll be bugging you so much you’ll be begging for me to go back to school.”

“Why don’t you come back to the hotel with us, kid.” Tony suggested to Ant, “This way you can say goodbye and stop in and see your step-mom and Robbie.”

Ant shrugged, “I guess it wouldn’t hurt.  It’s always interesting when the _step-monster’s_ around.”

Steve didn’t even bother to tell Ant to knock it off.  He was certainly in no position to be lecturing his son about how to treat his step-mother.  Especially considering how he had just screwed her husband the night before.  It felt weird even thinking about it.  Steve _hated_ how the roles have switched, he was now the homewrecker and she the unsuspecting spouse.

Tony frowned, “Yeah, well, I’m sure she’ll be thrilled to see you too. “  Tony paid the check and left his typical generous tip, and they were on their way back to the hotel.

 

* * *

 

The stay at the hotel was short lived considering it mostly consisted of getting their suitcases and checking out.  Steve was dreading getting back on a plane barely over 24 hours since he vomited on one.  Hopefully it would be easier this time around, considering that he had the girls with him.  He usually did better when they were with him. Natasha suggested once that it had something to do with being brave for his kids or something like that.  He wasn’t sure if it was true or not, but it certainly made him feel a little more at ease.

Stephanie beamed at him as they were waiting online to check out of the hotel.  “I’ve got a blanket, sucking candies and a pillow packed.  You can use them on the plane, and maybe you’ll get some sleep.  That should be better than just gritting your teeth the entire time.”

Steve smiled back to his daughter.   _God_ he had no _idea_ where this kid came from.  She was such a caretaker.  Steve wouldn’t have even thought to pack any of those things.  “Thanks, sweetheart.  I really appreciate it, but you don’t need to worry about me, I’ll be fine-”

“-Papa, you looked terrible last time around.  Just let us take care of you this one time.” She gave him a soft smile and Steve just _melted_.   This kid knew how to work him that was for sure.

Finally they were ready to leave.  Steve gave Ant a big hug before turning away, willing himself not to cry over this.  It was so _stupid_.  Steve _knew_ he would see his son in a few days- a few weeks at the most- yet he couldn’t help but feel upset over it.  He had _just got him back_ , and now had to say goodbye again after only a few hours.  How was that fair?

The girls said goodbye to their brother and Tony as they headed out the door into the cab Steve had hailed.  He put the girls suitcases in the trunk, as they got in the back seat.  He looked back inside the lobby.  Apparently Sunset had gotten word that Ant was there because he could see her with them, Tony’s arm around her waist as she appeared to be in deep conversation with Ant and him, while her son was just sitting in the corner bored.

Steve could only imagine what they were talking about, probably something to do with technological advancements or which colleges would best foster and enhance Ant’s genius.  Steve knew that whatever it was, he probably wouldn’t understand it.  He felt jealousy creep up inside him the fact that she could understand Ant’s passions far better than he could stung.  It _almost_ made him feel less bad about sleeping with her husband- _almost_.

He sat in the back of the cab with his daughters who were already arguing about which seats they were going to take on the plane.  

“... but you had the window seat _last time_!” Natalia said immaturely, “and _I_ got stuck sitting with _Sunset_.  Do you have any idea how _mind numbing_ it was having to listen to her go on and on about how her CEO doesn’t utilize her enough, and how _hard_ it is to maintain her style while working all the time?   _God_ , I wanted to shoot myself-or her- or both.”

Stephanie groaned, “Yeah but _I_ was with _Dad_ who was just drinking practically the entire time and complaining about the terrible service he was receiving.  Plus I’m taller, Pa will have a harder time seeing what’s out the window if _I’m_ in that seat.”

“Then I’ll pull down the window cover. Problem solved.” Natalia shot back.

Steve sighed, “Girls, we can worry about seating once we get on the actual plane.”

Natalia snorted, “Yeah, well you better sit in the middle because if I’m stuck next to _Saint Stephanie_ the whole plane ride only one of your two daughters is getting out alive.”

“Tal, knock it off,” Steve said putting his head back, “this flight is going to be stressful enough for me as it is, the last thing I need to worry about is you and your sister fighting the entire time.”

“Sorry, Pa,” She said disgruntled as she crossed her arms.  She was way too much like Steve for her own good.  He could practically see her struggling not to snap something at her sister.   He looked at her for a second she looked so much like his mother, it was scary.  Steve smiled sadly at the thought, his mother had passed away before he and Tony had even met.  His kids never got to meet her.

 

* * *

 

When they got to the airport Steve braced himself for the worst.  Luckily, getting through security was relatively painless.  He wasn’t even pulled aside for further identification, probably since the press had spotted them at Ant’s graduation earlier that day.

By the time he and the girls managed to get to the gate, it was time to board the plane.  They found their seats- Natalia snagged the window seat in an instant, and Stephanie claimed the aisle seat- leaving Steve in the middle of his two girls.  Within seconds Steph was emptying her carryon.  She placed the pillow behind Steve’s head and threw the blanket on top of him.  “Let me know if you start to feel nauseous, Pa.  I’ve got those sucking candies, they usually help.”

Natalia shut the window cover before whispering to Steve, “If you feel nauseous, aim for Steph.”

Steve snorted at that as he tried to make himself comfortable.  When they began to take off, each girl grabbed one of his hands.  He smiled at that, it really did make a difference.  While he still felt anxious, there was something extremely comforting about having his daughters with him.

Steve let out a sigh of relief once the plane leveled out, he managed to make it through the take off without throwing up.  It was a victory that he would definitely take.  

The flight was far more uneventful than the one he had been on the previous day.  He managed to make it through the entire flight without puking, and the girls managed to entertain themselves for the most part.

Upon arrival, Steve and the girls goth their luggage before making their way to the parking lot where Steve had kept his car.  He drove home as the girls drifted to sleep.  He remember back to when he and Tony would take the kids of long road trips during the weekends and how everyone, besides him, had managed to fall asleep on the way home.  It was weird how long ago that was.  Ant was a high school graduate, Tony was on his second marriage- and evidently second extramarital affair.  Yet, despite all that, the girls still managed to fall asleep in the car.  

The ride from the airport wasn’t even that long, but as the used to, the girls had passed out barely after Steve had started to drive.  It was nice having one piece of normalcy when everything else had changed so drastically.

When they finally arrived home, Stephanie woke up almost instantly.  She looked around, “We’re home already?”

Steve smirked, “Yeah well it went faster for you, you slept the whole time.”  He got out of the car and popped open the trunk.

Stephanie yawned as she tapped her sister to wake her up.    By the time Steve got the bags out of the car, the girls were inside probably getting ready for bed.  He brought the luggage inside and left it by the door.  There was no point in unpacking tonight.  As he walked up the steps to his bed all he could hear were the sounds of his daughters getting ready.  A door slam here- footsteps there- the lights being clicked off.  Steve smiled to himself, there was nothing quite like having the kids home--too bad he couldn’t bring his son home as well.

Steve sighed as he entered his bedroom and changed for bed.  He had to get up early the next day and take the girls to camp in the morning, not to mention he had to check in at the bakery and make sure everything was acceptable.  He turned off his light and waited for sleep to come.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bucky will be back next chapter, I promise!  
> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As promised, Bucky is back!

Steve awoke, not to his alarm clock, but to his daughters fighting in their shared bathroom.  He groaned as he looked at the time, it was 7:30am.  He rolled out of bed and headed towards the yelling.

He banged on the door to their bathroom agitated.  “Girls, knock it off!”

Stephanie opened the door a crack as she poked her head out, “Pa, Natalia’s not giving me any privacy!”

“She’s been in here for an hour!” He heard Natalia yell back.

“Tal, go grab your toothbrush and use _my_ bathroom,” He called into the room, “Steph, try to wrap it up in there, you’re going to summer camp not the red carpet.”

She rolled her eyes as she went back in the bathroom, closing the door.  Steve walked down the steps and into the kitchen.  He started making breakfast, just pancakes, he was way too tired to do anything too fancy this morning.

Natalia made her way down the steps first.  She certainly looked grumpy, undoubtedly due to the argument with her sister.  She walked over to Steve instead of sitting down, “Need any help?”

Steve shook his head, he was almost done as it was, “Not today, sweetie.  If you want to help me out, you can set the table.”

Natalia complied silently, he could tell she was fuming, but she knew better than to bring it up until Steve was a little more awake.  Steve served the pancakes as Stephanie walked down the steps.  She took her place across from her sister but did not actually look at her.  

Steve rolled his eyes as he sat at the head of the table between his two daughters.  He had never had any patience for their ridiculous arguments, at least they would both be out of his hair for most of the day.  This way he wouldn’t have to hear the constant complaining and arguing back and forth.

After a few moments of silence, Stephanie spoke up quietly, “The pancakes are delicious, Papa.”

“Well, I’m glad you like them,” Steve sighed looking at his watch, “Hurry up and finish them because we’ve gotta go.”

Natalia stood up immediately and placed her plate in the dishwasher, before grabbing her bag and walking outside towards the car.  Stephanie followed not long after, as Steve grabbed his keys and headed outside.

The car ride to drop the girls off was silent.  Natalia was still fuming in the backseat and Stephanie was obviously irritated.  He dropped the older girl off first at her science camp.  She gave him a kiss on the cheek before running out of the car and into the laboratory.

The second the car door closed Natalia started rambling, “ _God_ , she is _so annoying_!  I mean, _I_ need to use the bathroom _too,_ especially in the mornings!   _Who does she think she is?_ I was so _patient_ , Pa, but she just _wouldn’t_ get out of there and-”

“-I don’t want to hear it, Tal!”  Steve said as he began driving her to her soccer camp at the school, “There’s another bathroom downstairs, and you _know_ you can always use mine if you need to.  You two need to figure this one out on your own.  For crying out loud, you’re old enough to share a bathroom without having a meltdown!”

Natalia groaned agitatedly before whining, “But, Pa-”

“-I said I don’t want to hear it.  Believe it or not waking up to yelling and fighting tend to put some people in a bad mood.” Steve said as Natalia crossed her arms indignantly.

When they arrived at the school, Natalia grabbed her things and left the car without a word.  Her stubbornness was radiating off her as he saw her walk inside, slamming the door behind her.

Steve shook his head as he drove back home. He was originally planning on heading to the bakery. However, after the morning he had just had, he needed to go calm down before going to deal with customers.

Upon arriving home, Steve finally looked at his phone for the first time since he had gotten back from New York.  He had _17_ missed calls and _10_ text messages- _all_ from Tony with the exception of one call which was from Natasha.

Steve checked the texts just to make sure that everything was okay with Ant.  Luckily nothing was wrong- aside from the fact that his ex-husband was trying to _sext_ him.  All of the messages read something along the lines of “I can’t stop thinking about you,” or, “What are you wearing right now?”  He deleted all of the texts not having the energy to deal with Tony at that point.  He did however, decide to call Natasha back.

The phone barely rang once before Natasha answered the phone, “You _puked_ on her?   _Sheesh_ , Rogers.  I think she would have just taken ‘no’ for an answer.”

Steve groaned rubbing his forehead, as the memory of throwing up on Sharon reentered his mind, “Yeah, that’s- uh- that’s definitely not the _worst thing_ I did this weekend.  Any chance we can get coffee or something?  I really don’t want to talk about this over the phone.”

“Sure,” she said confusion clear in her voice, “Clint and I will meet you at the bakery?”

“Great, see you in ten.”  Steve hung up the phone, as he made his way down to his shop.

* * *

When Steve arrived, he was pleased to see that things appeared to be running smoothly.  He walked up to one of the waitresses/cashiers, Wanda.  “How are things going today?”

She smiled, “Mr. Rogers!   Welcome back!  How was your son’s graduation?  Everything’s going well over here.  The breakfast rush has died down for the most part.”

“The graduation was nice, thanks for asking.” Steve smiled back, she was a good kid.  She and her brother had been working for him for about a year, they were about sixteen or close to that age.  They really were a great help around the bakery.  Wanda got along so well with customers, he could swear she could actually read their minds.  Steve could probably count on one hand the amount of times she had an unsatisfied customer.  Her brother was also extremely helpful, he was one of his best baristas.  He was the fastest when it came to blending and preparing the special coffee orders.  Pietro was irreplaceable when it came to keeping the lines moving at a decent pace.  “If you guys need any help, just let me know.”

Steve grabbed some coffee for Natasha, Clint and himself before heading over to their usual table.  His phone began buzzing.  Steve pulled it out to see that it was Tony calling him yet again.  He hit ‘ignore’ agitatedly.  Clearly Tony was not taking the hint.

Clint and Nat arrived and sat down at the table.  “Spill,” said Natasha taking one of the coffees.

“Yeah,” Clint said, “what could you have possibly done that was worse than vomiting on someone?”

Steve took in a deep breath, “I may have...slept with a man- a _married_ man.”

Natasha choked on her coffee, “Excuse me what happened to ‘I’m only going to be in New York for a weekend, and I’m spending it with my family’?  I thought you weren’t going to have time for a hookup. Christ! Did you know the guy was married at the time, or did you find out after the fact?”

Steve paused searching for the right words, “Yes-I knew he was married-but Nat-”

“-Holy shit!” Clint exclaimed. “It was Tony wasn’t it?”

He nodded, and Clint smiled, “Nice one.”  Clint held his hand up for a high five and Steve complied as his face reddened.

Natasha’s eyes widened, “Steve, I wanted you to hook up with someone to _get over_ Tony, not go running back to him.”

“It wasn’t exactly something I did on purpose.” Steve sighed, “It just sort of happened.”

“I, for one,” Clint smirked, “think that it’s great.  I mean, you had him first, man.”

Natasha shot a disapproving look over to her husband, “Steve, you of all people know how much it sucks to be cheated on by your husband.  Why would you help Tony do that to someone else?   Even if it is _Sunset_.”

“Nat, I didn’t mean for it to happen,” Steve tried to explain, “We were drinking and one thing led to another,”  He paused, “but we _did_ make-out in the bathroom of the restaurant the next day.”

“Shit, karma’s a bitch,” Clint said, “I’d love to see the look on Sunset’s face when she finds out.”

Steve’s eyes widened, “No, no, I’m not out to end their marriage.  It was an accident, and it’s probably never going to happen again.”

“‘ _Probably’?_ ” Natasha repeated, “Steve, you need to figure out what you _really_ want out of this- if you want anything out of it at all.”  Her expression softened a bit before adding, “But, you and Tony _were_ married for ten years, it makes sense that there are still some feelings there.  Just be careful, you always seem to get the worst of it when dealing with him.”  
“I know, I just,” He paused, thinking carefully, “I didn’t realize that I missed him so much.”

Clint sipped his coffee, “I mean, it’s plausible.  As far as I can remember it was always the two of _you_ and the two of _us_.  We started dating around the same time, got married around the same time, had our kids around the same time.  I don’t know what  I’d do in that situation.”

“Keep it up and you may find out,” Natasha teased, “but seriously there is a big difference between us and them, Clint.”  She turned to Steve to elaborate, “Clint and I grew up together.  We were both young when we met and fell in love.  We went through _everything_ _together_. _Tony_ on the other hand was already grown up by the time he met you.  I mean he was eleven years older than you.  You two were _not_ in the same place in your lives.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, “Yeah, I guess.  I mean he was immature enough to be my age, but maybe that was an issue too.  I don’t know, but when we were in New York it just seemed right.  I can’t really describe it.”

“I think it _is_ right,” Clint beamed, “I mean you and Tony were happy and in love and then _Sunset_ comes in and steals him right from under your nose.  Now she’s married to him and he wants to have an affair with _you_.  You’ve got to admit that there’s some sort of poetic justice about it.”

Steve snorted, “I wish _I_ felt that way about it.  Don’t get me wrong, I don’t exactly want to hang out with- or even _see_ \- the woman under any circumstances… but… I feel terrible about it.  I’m _her._  Trust me _that_ does not feel good.”

Natasha rolled her eyes, “You are _not_ her.   _You_ actually feel guilty about this whole thing, while _she_ was practically gloating, to any reporter who would listen, about her affair with _Tony Stark_.”

Clint smirked, “Finally, something we agree on.”

“Yeah, but still,” Steve rubbed his forehead, “he’s _married_.  And, not to me.   _God_ , we’ve been divorced five years and it’s still weird thinking about the fact that we’re not married anymore.”

Natasha leaned in before whispering, “Then maybe you should stop sleeping with him.”

Steve was about to respond but he was interrupted by Natasha’s ringtone going off.  She glanced down at her phone before looking up at him, “Do you have your phone on you?” She asked Steve before looking back to her phone, “It’s Stephie.”

Steve looked around frantically for his phone as Natasha answered hers.  “Hey, Steph.  I’m here with your Pops-oh-uh huh-I understand,”  She stood up and put one finger up to the men before walking outside.

Steve frowned once he found his phone.  He looked to Clint, “She didn’t try to call me _once_.”

Clint shrugged, “Maybe it was Rosie borrowing Steph’s phone?  That kid wastes her battery like there’s no tomorrow.  I wouldn’t worry about it.”  Rosie was Clint and Natasha’s only daughter.  The two of them almost had a child around the time Ant was born but there were complications and Rosie (who was born around the same time as Stephanie) was practically a miracle baby.

Steve looked out the store window, watching Natasha intently.  If something was going on with his daughter he needed to know about it.  Despite it feeling like several hours- Natasha was back within minutes.  She looked to Clint and nodded her head back- motioning for him to make himself scarce.

Natasha took a deep breath once Clint had walked to the other end of the bakery.  “So, Steve.  We knew this day would come eventually-”

“Did she get her period? She was really in a mood this morning-”

“First of all that’s offensive,” Natasha cut him off rolling her eyes, “Secondly, no- she got her period months ago.  We discussed that.  She can handle that without calling me.  She was learning about some congenital diseases and long story short- she may want to find out who her biological father is.”

Steve felt like the world was crashing around him.  The last time anyone had wanted to find out who Stephanie’s biological father was, was during the divorce. Tony was hoping if she was his then he’d have a better claim to the kids in the divorce settlement.  However both Steve and Steph refused to consent to a DNA test.

“Did-” Steve cleared his throat, “-did she happen to mention why?”

Natasha sighed speaking slower, “Well she said it was to make sure there was no history of disease-”

“-You and I both know that’s not the real reason, Nat.”  Steve said shortly.

“Steve, that’s all she said.  I told her that I would let her be the one to tell you, but I didn’t think you should go into that conversation blind-”

“-Yeah, well I’m not allowing it.”  Steve responded curtly, “No way.”

Natasha rolled her eyes again, “There’s no need to get dramatic about this,  you _know_ you’re her favorite parent.”

“Nothing good can come from that, Nat,” Steve began shaking his knee excessively, “I mean when Ant was old enough to figure out that he was only _one_ of ours in terms of DNA, he freaked out.  He wouldn’t talk to either of us for _weeks_.”

“Steve, Ant was six when he was smart enough to figure that out.  Stephanie is thirteen years old, and she _wants_ to know.  I think you should either let her find out now, or you could just wait until she asks Tony to take her,” she said, “I mean, she’s coming to you with this first, I think you should encourage her.  Who knows maybe some reverse psychology will change her mind.”

Steve knew better than to believe that. “I’ve gotta go.” He said bolting from his seat and heading out the door.  He got in the car and called Tony.  After what felt like an eternity Tony answered, “I was beginning to think that you weren’t going to return my calls-”

“-Stephanie wants to find out.  I need you to agree with me on this one, we can’t let her do this, Tony-”

“-Slow down a second, Steve,” Tony sighed, “I actually don’t see anything wrong with Stephanie doing this..  I’ve always wondered.”

“Tony, _please_.  I have _never_ asked you for anything, but I’m asking for this.  I don’t think she needs to know, and I would appreciate it if you just agreed with me on this one.”

“No, Steve.  I just don’t think-”

Steve hung up, he had no desire to hear the rest of what Tony had to say.  Of course Tony wouldn’t agree with him.  He always had to make things difficult for Steve.

His phone was buzzing and he answered it agitatedly, “Tony,  I don’t want to have this discussion if you’re just going to-”

“-Yeah, sorry um-not Tony.”  The voice on the other end of the bluetooth speaker responded, “It’s Bucky, you know the architect.  Anyway if this is a bad time-”

“-No! Sorry, just a spat with the ex.  Can I help you with something?” Steve answered pulling himself together.

“Well I know we have an appointment scheduled for Wednesday, but I wanted to get a look at the property to get a better idea of what we’re working with.  I hope that’s okay?” Bucky explained.

“Yeah, I’m headed home right now, you can meet me there if you’re free.”  Steve said desperate for any distraction from Stephanie’s existential crisis.  

“Sounds like a plan,” Bucky said from the other end of the phone, “I’ll see you in fifteen minutes-give or take.”

“Sure,” Steve answered, “See you then.” He hung up the phone and drove the rest of the way home, trying to think of anything other than his daughter wanting to find out who her _biological_ father really was.

* * *

Upon arriving home, Bucky was already there waiting for him.  Steve tried his best to put on a fake smile as he approached the man.  “Hi, thanks for coming down here on such short notice,” Bucky greeted him, “I was just working on the revisions of your blueprints and I figured it would just be smoother if I got a look at what I’m going to be working with.”

“Sure, it’s no problem,” Steve said avoiding his gaze, he was not about to become an emotional wreck in front of a complete stranger.  He lead Bucky through the house and into the backyard.  It was mostly an empty field back there.  Once the kids got too old for swing-sets and plastic houses the backyard had been mostly barren.

“Wow,” Bucky said, “I guess I have a lot to work with.” He turned to Steve, “Do you have any other notes before I start revising?”

“I was kind of hoping you could shift the bedroom over a little bit,” Steve bit his lip, “There’s too much light that comes in during the mornings, and I have a hard enough time sleeping through the night.”

Bucky raised his eyebrows, “I could certainly try.  Right now the only issue is that shifting it would probably cause issues with the bathroom, and we don’t want to have to add plumbing into this project.”

Steve frowned, “It’s really all right if you can’t make it happen.  I was just hoping-”

“Let me see if I can play around with the plans and make it work?”  Bucky suggested, “I’ll get back to you during the next meeting?  We can still do Wednesday, right?”

Steve nodded, “Wednesday is still good for me.”

Bucky was about to leave when Steve spoke up, “Can I get you something to drink or a snack?  I really appreciate everything you’re doing for me with this remodel, and I think we got off on the wrong foot last time.”

Bucky smiled, “I could certainly stay for a glass of water, if it’s not too much trouble.”

Steve walked back into the kitchen, Bucky following close behind him.  Steve poured him a glass of water before attempting small talk, “Are you working on a lot of projects right now?”

He shook his head, “No, just this one for the time being.  I’m relatively new to the firm, so they’re starting me off slow.  You must be busy though, I can’t imagine running three kids around.”

Steve shook his head, the last thing he wanted to think about was his kids right now, “Yeah, it’s challenging sometimes, but they’re older now.  Do you have any children?”

“Nah,” Bucky replied taking a sip of his water, “I thought about it, but me and the ex never really got around to it.  Let’s just say it was on the list of things he said we’d get to, but never did.”

Steve nodded knowingly, “Yeah, I’m fairly familiar with those lists.”   Steve caught a glimpse at Bucky’s left arm, and realization hit.  It was a prosthetic and a _really_ life like one at that, “Did you serve?”

Bucky looked up at Steve, and then to his arm.  He chuckled, “It that obvious?  Yeah, I was in the military for a while.  Until I woke up one day with some memory loss and this old thing,”  He patted his arm, “I was lucky to get out alive.”

Steve found himself nodding again, he could definitely relate.  He might not have lost any limbs, but his accident messed him up in other ways.  He used to have to take solace in the fact that he was, like Bucky, ‘lucky to be alive.’  “I only served briefly, I had an accident that sufficiently ended my career in the armed forces.”

Bucky nodded, “Yeah, I heard about that.   Heard you saved a lot of people in the process.  It was _stupid_ though, to practically sacrifice yourself like that.  No offense.”

Steve laughed, “It was pretty stupid, but at that point, I really had nothing to lose.”

“Well, now look at you,” Bucky smiled again, “You’ve got a nice house, kids.  Things are certainly looking up for you.”

He shrugged, “Yeah, kids that hardly need me anymore.  Don’t get me wrong, as a parent I want my children to be independent, but it’s too fast.  My son’s not even sixteen yet and he just graduated from high school, and my daughter-  let’s just say she’s ready to leave too.  That leaves my little one and she’s always been too independent for her own good.  We even considered putting her on a leash when she was little.”

Bucky laughed, “I know that I don’t know your kids-and I don’t have any- but, doesn’t that happen with teenagers?  When I was that age I thought I didn’t need anyone, definitely not my folks.  Long story short I was definitely wrong about that.  My point is, isn’t that what teenagers _do_?  They assert their independence and then fall on their faces, leaving their parents to pick them up?”

Steve raised his eyebrows, “My kids have a tendency to walk that tightrope and stay upright, regardless of how much they struggle to keep their balance.”

“Then I guess you did a pretty good job with them.”  Bucky smiled before looking at the clock, “I gotta run, Sam’s gonna kill me if I miss this meeting.  Thanks for the water.”

As Steve was showing Bucky out, the architect turned to him nervously, “If you’re not too busy, maybe after our meeting Wednesday, we can grab a cup of coffee or something?  If you’re free, I mean it’s not a big deal.”

Steve could practically feel himself getting red.   _Lord_ it was obvious he hadn’t dated anyone in almost _fifteen years_ , “I- uh- yeah- yeah.  That um- that would be nice, it would- it would- _I_ would love to.”  Steve wasn’t really sure what possessed him to say ‘yes’ in the first place, he wasn’t exactly looking for anything but- there was something about this guy.

“Great,” Bucky answered walking out the door, “I’ll see you then.”

His phone rang- again.  He groaned as he saw Tony’s name pop up on the screen.  He had no desire to talk to him after his lack of support but the parental side of his brain went to the dark place  If something was wrong with Ant, Tony _would_ call him.

“Yeah, Tony,” He answered with an exasperated sigh.

“Are you ready to discuss this like two adults?”  Tony asked sarcastically, “Because if not, I know of a few daycares you can check yourself into.”

“She doesn’t need to know!”  Steve said frustratedly, “She’s our daughter- _both_ of ours- regardless of what DNA says!”

He heard Tony exhale, “Steve, she _wants_ to find out. She’s not a kid anymore, she’s thirteen.  Also I resent the implication that I would love our daughter any less if the DNA said she was yours.”

“I wasn’t implying _that_ ,” Steve said, his anger rising, “I _was_ implying that if she’s _not_ mine, _you and your wife_ may try to rework the custody agreement.”

“You’re never going to let that one go, huh?”  Tony said shortly.

“Gee, Tony, how foolish of me to think that you trying to take our kids away from me was an _enormous_ deal.  Heaven forbid I be bitter about the the messed up shit you tried to pull,”  Steve stopped himself before continuing, “Tony, I just need you to back me up on this one.  If she still wants to find out in a few years, I’ll backoff.  Right now, though, I think she needs to wait.”

Tony sighed, “Steve, it’s because of the ‘messed up shit’ we pulled, that I need to support her decision.  Do you know how long it took me to regain her trust- all of their trust?  I’m not going to throw that all away because you’re feeling a little insecure.”

“Stark,” Steve practically growled, “In all the time we’ve known each other exactly how many times have I asked you for _anything_?”

“Never, and Steve if this was just about the two of us, I would give in wholeheartedly,” He paused, “but it’s not.  This is not about you and it’s not about me, it’s about our daughter.  Our daughter who- in my opinion- is more than capable of making this decision on her own.”

“Well, then I guess we have nothing left to discuss,”  Steve said angrily hanging up on Tony for the second time that day.

* * *

Steve decided to get his mind off of the unnecessary stress by baking.  He decided on snickerdoodles since they were Stephanie’s favorite.  He figured there was nothing wrong with bribing his daughter against getting the test done-right?  He decided not to dwell on the moral ambiguity of the whole thing and just immerse himself in his baking.

He spent the whole afternoon in the kitchen, he had a ridiculous amount of snickerdoodles. Once he had gotten started he wasn’t able to help himself.  He raised his eyebrows looking at the mound of sweets.  At least, if Ant came home in a reasonable amount of time there was no doubt that he would do his part in eating the cookies.

Steve decided to go get cleaned up before picking up the girls.  It was the first time he found himself dreading to go see them.  He was in no means prepared to deal with Stephanie’s decision.

He decided to pick up Natalia first.  Hopefully if Tal was in the car, Stephanie might delay bringing up the subject.  Natalia was waiting for him when he arrived and she appeared to be in a much better mood than she was earlier.

“How was your day, sweetie?”  Steve asked hoping she’d be able to distract him from the present situation.

“It was good,” She smiled, “I played goalie today, and hardly anyone was able to score.  Maybe I can do soccer again when the school year starts up?  I’m really liking it so far, and the other girls are pretty friendly.”

“That’s great.  Maybe we can sign you up through one of those leagues?” Steve said pleased, “I’m glad you’re making new friends.”

When they arrived at the lab, he could practically feel his heart beating in his chest.  He was by no means ready for this conversation.  Stephanie entered the car silently not meeting his eyes.  She probably figured that Nat would have told him, despite promising her silence.

“Did-,” He cleared his throat, “did you have a nice day?”

She shrugged, “It was okay I guess.  Nothing special.”

“I- um- made snickerdoodles,” Steve said thinking of anything to say, “I know they’re your favorite.  I may have baked too many though.”

She smiled, “Thanks, I can’t wait to have some.”

“Of course,” He heard Natalia groan from the backseat, “she causes a fight this morning and _you make her snickerdoodles._  Maybe I should have a meltdown in the bathroom if it’ll get me sweets.”

Steve snorted, “Tal, I’ll make you something special this weekend.  Honestly, I forgot about your little tiff this morning.  Besides I had the ingredients.”

“Not _this_ weekend,” Natalia replied, “We’re at Dad’s _this_ weekend.”

“Okay, next week,” Steve relented, “Next week when you come home from your Dad’s, I will have something special made just for you.”

That seemed to have satisfied her since she didn’t bring it up again.  The rest of the car ride was filled with awkward silence.  Steve wanted to say so much to his oldest daughter but couldn’t.  One reason was because he didn’t want to be the one to bring it up, the other was that he couldn’t begin to tell her all of the reasons why she didn’t _need_ to find out.  That she was loved regardless of what blood had to say about it.

When they finally arrived home, Natalia announced that she was going to jump in the shower.  Thank goodness for that too, after playing in the hot sun all day she certainly had an unpleasant odor about her.

The second Natalia was out of earshot Stephanie turned to him, “Papa, we need to talk.”

He sighed, “Yeah, sweetie.  I know.”

“I think it’s time I found out who was… _you know_ ,”  She paused, “I mean, Ant and Talia have practically known their whole lives.  I want to know too.”

“Stephanie Sarah Rogers-Stark,” Steve said softly, “You are loved so much.  I just want to make sure that you want this for the right reasons.  We couldn’t care less what the DNA says, you’re _loved_ by both me and your dad, regardless.  We don’t feel any different when it comes to you or Ant or Tal.  We love you all equally no matter who’s the sperm donor.”

She looked down, “I just want to know.  I’ve always wondered, ever since the divorce, when Dad...well you remember.  I’m not doing this to rock the boat or change anything, I just want to know for me.”

Steve groaned as he handed her a snickerdoodle, “I’ll tell you what.  Give it some time and think about it.  If you still want this by the end of the summer, I will take you down there myself and have you tested.  If you decide against it, we never have to speak about it again, no questions asked.  Sound fair?”

She nodded, “Yeah, that sounds good.  I hope you know that it’s got nothing to do with you, Pa.  The last thing I want to do is hurt you.”

‘ _Then why are you doing this?  Why can’t you stop with this ridiculousness?"_ Steve caught himself thinking.  He looked to her, “I know that, baby.  I just, personally, don’t think it’s a good idea.  But- like I said- if you still want to find out by the end of the summer, we’ll get it done.”

Stephanie walked over to Steve and gave him a hug, “I love you, Pa.  Thank you for understanding.”

But Steve _didn’t_ understand.  Maybe he _couldn’t_ understand.  This was never something that he had to worry about himself.  He had always known who his parents were.  Who knows if he would feel like Stephanie did, had the roles been reversed.

Steve looked to his kitchen, the last thing he wanted to do after baking nearly five dozen cookies was make dinner.  He looked to Stephanie who was still there silent, “When your sister get’s out of the shower, tell her we’re going out to eat.  I’ve seen enough of this kitchen for today.”

She smiled as she raced up the steps.  Steve started to relax.  Maybe Stephanie would change her mind by the time the summer was over.  Regardless, it bought Steve more time to try and convince her against it.  Maybe he’d even be able to convince his ex that taking her was a bad idea.  Either way the stress was temporarily alleviated.He waited for the girls to come back down.  Steve would take them to dinner, they’d have a great time, and by the time they would get home everything would be back to normal.  No more paternity tests or love affairs- just normal.  Just summer camps and bakeries.  Unfortunately, Steve was having a hard time actually convincing himself that things would go back to the way they were before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	5. Chapter 5

Wednesday came around quickly to say the least.  Things were starting to get back to normal.  The girls were enjoying camp, and there was no mention of DNA testing.  He hadn’t spoken to Tony since they had their spat about the paternity test, and things were running smoothly.  Steve was getting back to his old self, the guilt from sleeping with Tony was slowly but surely dissipating and he was feeling a lot less stressed.

He dropped the girls off at camp, before heading back home for his meeting with Bucky.  He couldn’t help but feel excited as he drove home in anticipation.  It had been so nice just talking to him a few days prior.  Not to mention that he was practically a miracle worker making Steve’s plans of upgrading the house a reality.

When Steve got home he made sure the house was especially clean.  Not that he thought Bucky would even notice if he scrubbed the floors and wiped down the windows, but it certainly made Steve feel a little less anxious,  

Steve glanced at his phone, checking the time.  He still had a little while until the architect was supposed to arrive.  He decided there was nothing wrong with putting out a few snacks.  There were still plenty of snickerdoodles left over, and it wasn’t like that he and the girls would finish them without help.

When the doorbell rang, Steve practically ran to the door, anticipation getting the best of him.  He _really_ wanted this to go well.  “Hi- hey,”  Steve said opening the door out of breath, “Come on in, I know we’ve got a lot of stuff to take care of.”

“Yeah,” Bucky said entering the home and holding up the blueprints, “I think I was able to figure out how to fix your bedroom problem.”

Steve froze.   _Was he misinterpreting something?  Was Bucky being forward?  Did he somehow find out about what happened with Tony?_

Bucky must have sensed his confusion because he clarified, “You know, how you wanted to shift it?  Because of the sunlight coming in too early?”

Steve laughed it off, “Right- right- of course! I don’t know what I was thinking.  How exactly did you manage to fix that?”

“Well, I moved some stuff around over here, and made your ‘single person bathroom’ just a little bit smaller.  Plus I recommend planting some trees over there,” he pointed to a spot on the plans, “Just to make sure that you’re not getting too much light in there.”

Steve nodded, “That sounds like a _really_ good idea;  Great, “ he tapped his fingers nervously, “can I offer you a snickerdoodle?”

Bucky let out a laugh of surprise, “Yeah, sure.  Thank you.”  He then laid the plans out so Steve could examine them more carefully.

Steve placed the cookie down as he then looked at the blueprints in front of him.  He smiled, “It looks _perfect_!  Seriously, I have no idea how you did it, but it’s exactly what I want.  I don’t have a single note.  When can we get started?”

“I’m glad you like it,”  Bucky said taking a bit of the snack, “Wow.  This is probably the best cookie that I have ever had the pleasure of eating. I mean-seriously- wow.  I didn’t know food could taste this good.”

Steve smiled modestly, “Well it’s certainly nice to know that spending almost a year in France had its benefits.”

“You spent a _year_ in France?” Bucky asked with his mouth full of cookie.

Steve nodded, “It wasn’t exactly a fun year though.  I spent most of it in a rehabilitation center for coma patients-to make sure there wasn’t any additional brain damage.  But when I wasn’t getting CT scans or MRIs, I took a few cooking classes, and here we are.”

“They certainly went to good use,”  Bucky said finishing the cookie, “I swear, I’d be obese if I lived with someone who’s as good a cook as you.”

Steve looked away flattered, “You can have more if you want.  I went a little overboard making some for my daughter.  We’ve got way too many left over.”

“Hell yes,” Bucky responded enthusiastically, and Steve gave him a plate with a few snickerdoodles on it.  It was certainly nice to be appreciated for a change.

“So,” Bucky said finishing his second cookie, “You’re divorced, you have three kids, you’re the best chef in the world, and you served time in the military.  What else is there to know about you?”

Steve shrugged, “There’s not much more than that.  Except that I _hate_ flying, it’s freaked me out ever since the accident.  Which is pretty ironic considering I wanted to be a pilot.  What about you?”  Steve asked, “All I know about you is that you’re an architect, you were also in the military where you lost an arm.   By the way that prosthetic is incredible, I almost couldn’t tell.”

“I’m an open book,”  said the other man nonchalantly, “I dated this guy for almost five years, we broke up almost two years ago, and that was my last meaningful relationship.  As far as the arm’s concerned my ex used to work in prosthetics, after we got out of the army of course.  He wanted to help people who were injured, so this,” he lifted his left arm, “was a perk that came with dating him.”

“Why did it end? If you don’t mind me asking?”  Steve asked looking down.

“He was cheating on me with one of our old army buddies.”  He shook his head, “I didn’t even see it coming.  I think they’re married now or engaged.  I  haven’t exactly been keeping up with their relationship status.”

“That’s brutal,” Steve said, “I can relate with the whole infidelity thing, but at least I didn’t know the girl.”

Bucky snorted, “Yeah, but we weren’t married.  That’s different, I can’t imagine making vows to someone in front of all my friends and family and then going back on that.  Cheating is one thing-but _adultery_ \- how do you trust anyone again after that.”

“Well it wasn’t exactly easy,” Steve admitted, “In fact it was hell, but after a few years you move on, or try to at least.  The truth is, I’m still dealing with it.”

Bucky shook his head, before responding quietly, “Who the hell would be stupid enough to cheat on _you_?”

Steve felt his face begin to redden.  He opened his mouth to speak when there was a knock at the door.  “I’m sorry. I- I have no idea who that is.  Hang on for just a second?”

He opened the door and to his surprise there stood Tony frowning, “My key isn’t working, that’s _odd_.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “That’s because I had the locks changed years ago.  What are you doing here?”  Tony pushed his way inside past Steve.

“I brought you a surprise,” He said, then he paused as he glanced into the kitchen, “Who is this?”

Steve groaned, “This is Bucky, my … architect.”  He turned to Bucky, “This is Tony my-”

“Yeah, I kind of put that together.”  Bucky answered.

“Bucky?”  Tony repeated, “Your name is _‘Bucky’_?”

“Tony, don’t be a jerk,”  Steve insisted before turning back to the architect, “I’m sorry don’t pay any attention to him.  He’s on his way out anywa-”

“Hey, Pops!”  Ant exclaimed from the doorway, “We got done with all that college stuff early and decided to surprise you.”

Steve smiled, completely forgetting about the two men standing in his kitchen, “I’m so glad you’re home!  I just- I thought you were going to stay with your dad for a little while.”

Ant shook his head, “Pop, after the past few days that we spent together, Dad and I could use some time apart.  Besides, I figure it’ll just be easier if I stay on the same schedule as Steph and Tal.”  He paused, noticing Bucky for the first time, “Who’s this?”

“Apparently his name is ‘Bucky’,”  Tony answered sarcastically, “he’s the _architect_?”  He turned to Steve, “ _Why_ do you need an architect exactly?”

“I’m pretty sure that stopped being your business when you divorced him,”  Bucky spoke up.  He turned to Steve, “I’m gonna get going.  Have fun with your son, I’ll call you later.”

Steve began to panic, they were having such a nice time, “No, no, no.  Really, you don’t have to go! I-”

“Steve, it’s fine.  I’ll talk to you later,”  Bucky turned to face the two Anthonys, “It was nice meeting you two.”

“Likewise,” answered Ant as Bucky walked out the door.  Ant turned back to Steve, “I like him.”

“Well I don’t,” Tony said as Steve rolled his eyes.  “Go get your stuff from the car and unpack, kid.  I want to talk to your, Pops alone.”  Ant complied much to Steve’s surprise.

Steve snorted looking to his ex-husband, “No way.   _You_ don’t get to give _me_ dating advice.”

“So it _was_ a date?”  Tony asked crossing his arms, “because a few days ago you said you weren’t seeing anyone.”

“Not that is any of your business,” Steve said, “but this is a recent development, and I would appreciate it if you didn’t go out of your way to ruin it.”

Tony looked at him confused, “Well that’s going to be pretty hard, if _we’re_ planning on getting back together.”

Steve choked, “I’m sorry, who said anything about us getting back together?  You’re _married_ , in case you forgot.  Tony, you already got to choose between me and Sunset, and _she_ won.  I’m not going through that again.  Besides,” he added quietly, “I like this guy.  He’s nice.”

Tony snorted, “That’s cute, Steve, really.  But don’t you want to be a family again?”

“Tony, what happened in New York was a one time thing,”  Steve explained quietly, not sure if Ant was in earshot, “It’s not going to happen again.  Thanks for bringing him home, but I think you should go now.”

Tony smirked, “No problem, Steve.”  He whispered in his ear, “I’ve always liked a challenge.”

He rolled his eyes as Tony walked out the door.  

Ant came back down the steps a second later, “Hey, Pops, can we go to the bakery?  I want to see everyone.”

Steve nodded, “That sounds like a good idea.  Everyone’s been asking about you.”

“Sorry for crashing your date,” Ant said as they headed out the door, “If I knew, I would have made sure we waited before coming over here.”

Steve shook his head, “Are you kidding me?  If I found out you were home and you didn’t tell me, I would have had a fit!  If you didn’t interrupt us, I’d be pissed.”

“Pops, was that your first date since the divorce?” Ant asked not making eye contact with his father.

“Oh, no,” Steve said, “Aunt Natasha set me up with someone on an airplane.  That was actually much worse than the date today, if you can believe it.”

Ant chuckled, “Was it the same guy?”

“Ant,” Steve laughed, “There’s no way that the ‘date’ from the airplane is even going to look in my general direction ever again.  It was that bad.”

“Seriously though, Pops,” Ant said sincerely, “I think it’s good that you’re dating.  It’s been five years and Dad’s moved on.  You deserve that too.”

Steve certainly didn’t feel like he deserved anything.  Especially not after Tony had made it clear that he wasn’t going to backdown.  The guilt that had previously began to alleviate was back in full swing.  “Thanks, Kiddo, I appreciate that.”

* * *

When they arrived at the bakery, Ant was welcomed with literal cheers.  As arrogant as Ant had a tendency to be, he was always polite and friendly, especially to Steve’s employees.  Within minutes he was showered with both compliments and food.  Dugan even ran into the kitchen to make Ant some of his favorite chocolate cake.

Steve was drinking some coffee- since he and Bucky never actually had a chance to go get any.  Wanda smiled at him, leaning over the counter, “You must be very happy to have your family back together.”

He grimaced remembering what Tony had said earlier about being a family again. Steve tried to push it out of his head, “Yeah, it’s great having all the kids home.”

“Anthony mentioned that you had a date, earlier today,”  She added, “You deserve to be happy, Mr. Rogers.”

“I hope he’s not going around telling everyone that,” Steve rubbed his forehead, “and it was just a coffee date that was interrupted very prematurely, so I doubt anything will come from it.”

Wanda smirked, “Your secret is safe with me.”

Ant walked over to the two of them, “ _God_ I missed this place!  I swear I could stay here forever.”

“If you stay local for college you can come here whenever you want.”  Steve suggested not looking up from his coffee.

Ant just laughed, “Your persuasion game is weak, Pops.  I’m sure they’ll have bakeries wherever I choose to go.”

“But with different people,” Steve teased, “how did the interviews go in New York?”

He shrugged, “Most of them were just interested in getting Dad’s booster money.  Not that they weren’t good schools, or that I wouldn’t do well there, I’m just thinking about going to those things by myself for the rest of the summer.”

“Ant, I’m not sure if that’s a good idea,”  Steve said putting down his cup, “You should have someone there with you to ask questions you may not have thought about.  Besides your dad is mainly the one paying, so he should be involved in the process.”

Ant turned to Wanda, ignoring Steve, “What schools are you and Pietro looking at?”

She snorted, “Definitely not the kind that you’re going to be getting into.”

“Says who?” Ant asked perplexed, “You two are really smart, I remember you were on honor roll every year.  At least, when I was still going to the public school you were.”

Wanda shook her head, “Do you think that I am working here for _kicks_?  Going to a big university is not something we can afford right now.  Pietro and I are probably going to go to the community college or some place local, and then transfer once we’ve saved enough money.”

Ant frowned, “What about grants and scholarships?”

“They usually only cover a fraction of the tuition, and I’m not about to take out loans that I will spend my whole life paying off.”  She explained, “But I’m sure that’s not something that _Tony Stark’s_ son will have to worry about.”

Wanda walked away to go help a customer, as Ant turned to Steve.  “That’s insane.  They should have most of the opportunities I have.  Pietro’s practically a genius and Wanda’s one of the hardest working people I’ve ever met.”

Steve sighed, “You are very fortunate, Ant.  Believe it or not, a college education is _very_ expensive. _I_ couldn’t afford it when I was young, and it didn’t cost half as much as it does now.”  
“Can’t you- like- give them a raise or something?”  Ant asked.

Steve laughed sarcastically, “Unfortunately, even if I did it wouldn’t make much of a difference.  Besides I do have to pay for _some_ of your tuition and soon I’ll have to pay for your sisters’ too.  I really can’t just go around giving people raises.”

“Maybe I can convince Dad to help,”  Ant said brainstorming, “I mean he’s always trying to buy our love anyway.”

Steve shook his head, “Ant, your dad buying you expensive gifts in no way equates to paying for your friends’ college tuition.  Do me a favor and figure out where _you’re_ going to college before you try to take care of it out for your friends.”

Ant glanced back, looking at Wanda who was still with a customer.  He frowned, before looking away.  “What time do we need to go get Tal and Steph?”  He changed the subject.

“Not for a little while, the camp practically lasts all day.  I think your dad’s got them signed up for a sleep away camp in a week or so.  If you’re around, though, the house will seem less empty.”  He answered.

Ant turned again to look at Wanda, before looking back to his father, “If it feels so empty why are you expanding it?  I mean, unless the thing with this ‘Bucky’ guy is more serious than you let on.”

Steve snorted, “No, that’s practically nonexistent.  I just always wanted that extension.  When we first bought the house I wanted to expand, but your Dad kept pushing it back and then once the split happened _I_ delayed it, and now I just need to do something for me.  Even if it is kind of silly.”

“Wouldn’t telling me and Dad to come back _after_ your date be something that you could have done for yourself?   _That_ would actually be a rational thing to do.” Ant said, Tony’s influence evident in his every word.

Steve shrugged, “Ant, I haven’t gotten to properly see you in months.  Last weekend doesn’t count because we were all so busy, and I only actually got to see you for a few hours.  I would appreciate it if we stopped talking about my love life.  If there ever anything serious enough, I will introduce you and your sisters in a _formal_ setting.  This afternoon does not count.”

Steve caught Ant looking at Wanda yet again.  “Or we could always talk about _your_ love life,”  Steve suggested teasingly, “You like her or something?”

“I don’t know.  Maybe.  She’s nice and smart, and she’s pretty.”  He said not looking away from her “But I’m friends with her brother, and I don’t think she likes me anyway.”

“I’m not too sure about that,”  Steve replied, “and she’s not the kind of girl that would let her brother stop her from doing what she wants.”

He looked back to Steve, “But I’m not the kind of friend that’s going to date my friend’s sister unless he’s okay with it.”

“Well, have you talked to him about it?”  Steve asked feeling like he was playing a game of 20 questions.

Ant’s eyes made their way back to Wanda who was bringing someone’s coffee order over to them, “No.  How exactly do you bring that up? ‘Hey, Pietro.  What’s new?  I’m good thanks for asking.  By the way your sister’s the headlining act in most of my dreams and fantasies.’  I don’t really see that going over too well.”

Steve’s eyes widened, “I mean, you probably shouldn’t say it like _that_.”

“Regardless of if I like her or not,” Ant said frustrated, “She should be able to go to whatever school she wants.  She’s _smart_ , Pops.  They both are.”

Steve put his hands up defensively, “Hey, I agree with you.  Unfortunately this is the world we live in.  College is expensive, and it doesn’t look like that’s about to change anytime soon.”

They were interrupted by Dugan bringing an entire cake over to Ant.  “Congratulations, Kid!  We’re all really proud of you!  I remember when you were just a little punk stealing all the cookies you could get your hands on in here.   _You’re_ the main reason we finally got security cameras in this place.”

Ant’s eyes lit up in delight at the sight of the cake, “Thanks, Dugan.  You’re the only one who makes it better than Pops.”  He helped himself to a large piece.  Steve couldn’t help but laugh, he son was treating this cake like it was a spiritual offering, cherishing every bite like it was food from the gods.

It was so nice to have his son back.  Steve had missed him so much.  Seeing him here with everyone just felt natural.  During the divorce Steve would spend countless days here with the kids.  It was mainly just an excuse to get out of the house, but the kids always liked it.  It was bizarre seeing Ant here all grown up.

Steve’s phone buzzed.  He looked down at it, it was Bucky.  Steve enthusiastically answered the phone whilst walking away from the group, “Hi! I wasn’t sure if you were gonna call.  I’m really sorry about earlier, I had _no_ idea that was going to happen-”

“Whoa, slow down,” Bucky said through the phone, “I understand, I was hoping maybe we could pick up where we left off tomorrow, if you’re not too busy.”

Steve smiled, “Of course!  Absolutely, I would love that.”

“Great, I’ll pick you up and this time we’ll _actually_ get some coffee.”

“I can’t wait,”  Steve felt himself getting giddy with excitement.  He was almost certain that Bucky wouldn’t be calling after what had happened earlier.  But he did, and Steve was actually _really_ glad that he called.

“See you then,”  Bucky said hanging up the phone.

Steve’s smile never faltered as he walked back over to Ant and his admirers.  He nudged his son with his elbow, “Hey, what do you want for dinner tonight?  Whatever you want, I’ll make it.”

Ant grinned at the offer, “Can we have that amazing beef roast that you make, with the mustard, and the roasted potatoes?  I’m telling you food at that prep-school was no substitute for any of your food.”

“You got it, Kiddo,”  Steve nodded as his son punched the air enthusiastically.  “I have to go to the store and get the ingredients though.  I can leave you here if you want, and pick you up before I get the girls?”

His son shook his head, “Nah, I’ll come with you, Pops.  Believe it or not I _did_ miss you while I was away.  You were not the only one who hated the distance.”

_Then why are you insisting on going to college so far away too?  Can’t you find a way to be happy and brilliant here?_  Steve pushed those thoughts out of his head, “I’m always happy to have company.  Say goodbye to everyone and I’ll wait for you in the car.”

He left his son as he went to the the car and his phone buzzed.  He looked down, and saw it was another call from Tony.  His ex-husband had texted and called him more in the past week than he had in the last five years.  Steve stared at the phone, he considering letting it go to voicemail, but he relented and answered it.

“You know, spamming my phone isn’t going to make me any more likely to ‘get back together.’  It’s just going to succeed in pissing me off.”  Steve answered.

Tony snorted, “Well you keep answering me, don’t you?

“Tony, we have three kids together.  For all I know you’re calling to tell me that Natalia needs surgery or something, or that there’s a boarding school that could really accommodate Stephanie’s unique needs.”  Steve explained.  He would love for that to be the absolute truth.  Unfortunately, ever since New York, he was drawn to his ex-husband more than he had been in a very long time.  For some reason he was finding it more and more difficult to ignore him.

“Sure,” Tony answered, “I guess that’s the same reason we keep ending up making out in pubs and bathrooms too.”

Steve looked around to make sure that Ant wasn’t coming over to him yet.   Once he established that the coast was clear he responded, “It was a moment of weakness- _two_ moments of weakness, but that’s it.  Besides,  you’re still married to Sunset.  Nothing has changed since this morning.”

“Do you expect me to believe that spending the day with our son hasn’t had you reminiscing about the good old days?”  Tony asked, “I mean, he’s got the best of both of us, Steve.  They all do.  We may have messed a lot of stuff up, but we did a good job with those kids.”

Steve sighed, “That doesn’t mean that we should get back together.  I have to go, I’m taking Ant shopping.  I’ll talk to you... when I talk to you.”  He hung up as he saw Ant walking over to the car.

“We good to go?” Ant asked as he got in the car and fastened his seatbelt.

Steve nodded as he began driving to the grocery store.  Ant was texting someone, he was probably telling his friends that he was home for the summer. It was only a matter of time before Ant was just as busy as the girls were.  Between his college interviews and seeing his friends, it wasn’t likely that Steve would get to see him often.  It didn’t help that he had to share half of the time with Tony.

Steve found himself thinking about his ex-husband’s offer from earlier that day.  Getting back together with Tony _would_ certainly be convenient.  In fact, Steve thought that, aside from Tony’s infidelity, they had made a very happy couple.  Maybe Steve was too young or perhaps they rushed into it the first time around.  Wouldn’t he be foolish not to at least consider getting back together?

Even as he looked at his son, all he could see was Tony.  Stark had certainly been right about one thing, they _had_ managed to raise three _amazing_ children.  He was sure that the kids would like to see their parents back together… _but did Steve want that?_

On paper it all sounded great, but would he really be able to trust Tony again after all that happened?  Did he even _love_ Tony anymore?  There were definitely some feelings there but he wasn’t sure if _love_ was one of them.  Would Tony even actually _leave_ Sunset?  Steve didn’t even want to think about that.  He had went through that once before.  

When the affair first became public, he had _begged_ Tony to try to work things out between the two of them.  Steve remembered sitting alone in their marriage counseling sessions waiting for him to show up- which Tony _never_ did.  He even recalled coming home to find all of Tony’s things gone without even a note explaining where he’d gone and if he’d be back.  But the worst was having to be a rock for his kids, when all he wanted to do was to lay in bed all day and night. _He_ had to be the one to tell the children _alone_ that he wasn’t sure if their dad was coming home.  Tony had _mailed_ him the divorce papers that Steve just wanted to burn.  Was it really worth going through all that pain just to go back to the very same person who did that to him in the first place?

“Did you do better on your flight back?”  Ant asked interrupting Steve’s thoughts, “The one on Sunday night?”

Steve nodded, grateful for the distraction, “Yeah it was much better.  Steph packed some pillows and blankets, it actually helped.”

Ant raised his eyebrows, “That’s good.  You _really_ didn’t look well, Pops.”

“Gee, thanks,”  Steve teased.

“You know what I mean.  I just- I worry about you, Pops.  You’re too preoccupied with taking care of everyone else, that you have a tendency to put yourself last.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “I appreciate your concern, but that’s what happens when you’re a parent.  Your kids come first.”

“I guess _one_ parent usually has to.”  Ant mumbled under his breath.

“Ant, your dad loves you guys,”  He sighed, “you know that.”

“I know that,”  Ant looked down at his shoes, “he just loves himself more.”  He then turned to Steve angrily, “And you don’t love yourself enough!  I mean no wonder you two got married.”

“Ant, I’m fine,”  Steve groaned, “I just never had the same taste for flare that your dad has.  I’m very happy just being the single parent bakery owner.”

“You could always start seeing the shrink again-”

“- _Please_ do not tell me this is some sort of intervention!  Ant, I don’t like flying be-”

“-Because you have PTSD and you’re not receiving the proper care, since you _refuse_ to take care of yourself.” Ant huffed.

Steve pulled the car over to the side of the road before turning to face his son, “Ant, I don’t know what has gotten into you lately, but you need to cut it out!  My accident happened _years_ ago, the result-I don’t like flying.  That’s definitely something that I can live with.  It’s not like we fly all the time anyway, I mean-”

“-Right, so that’s why you never visited me in New York.  Because you’re so well adjusted!” His son crossed his arms.  It was easy to forget that, with everything Ant had accomplished, he was only a fifteen year old boy.  It was so obvious, as Steve was sitting in the car with him that while his intellect may be superior to his peers, that in terms of maturity he was still a kid.

Steve took a deep breath, “Ant, I couldn’t visit New York as much as your dad because I don’t have that kind of money.  You’re the one who begged me to let you go to that school in the first place.  I drove out there a few times and I flew when necessary just to come and see you.  Now please stop acting like you’ve been terribly deprived of something.

“ You have a family that loves and supports you.  Not to mention, you have been given more opportunities than most kids your age will have in their entire lifetime.  Unfortunately, when you chose to go away one of the consequences was that I didn’t have the ability to make that kind of a trip every weekend!  Do you know how much I _wished_ I could see you _every single day_? I _hated_ that high school, but how could I ask you not to go when it was giving you so many opportunities? _So don’t you dare throw that in my face.”_

Ant stared at him, not saying anything.  Steve couldn’t remember the last time he had scolded his son, maybe that was because he was causing trouble in a different time zone most of the time.  Steve pulled back on to the road not looking at Ant.  He had really hoped that he would be able to spend the day with his son without there being a confrontation.

“Pops, I am _actually_ worried about you-”

“-I know that, Ant, but you don’t have to be.  I’m pretty lucky if the worst I got out of my military career was a fear of flying.” Steve said thinking back to Bucky and his arm.  While he seemed pretty well adjusted, it probably wasn’t an easy transition at first.  Steve caught himself thinking about how frightening it must have been to wake up without one of his limbs.  Steve shook his head grateful that he would probably never know.

* * *

Steve managed to get in and out of the store with ease, thanks to Ant’s help.  It wasn’t long before they were back home and cooking the meal together.  Ant used to always “help” Steve with the dinner when he was younger.  It was mainly because the kids _hated_ Tony’s attempts at cooking, and wanted to know how to fend for themselves in case Steve was ever sick.  Regardless, it became something of a bonding activity, and by the time Ant was 11 they were cooking at least two meals a week together.

Steve caught a glimpse at the time and panic struck him.   _He was late to go get the girls_.  “Ant, turn the oven off, we’ve got to go!  We’re late.”

Ant grimaced, “How about I stay here with the food so that it’ll keep cooking.  Besides, it will add to the surprise when they see me.”

“Fine, but watch the oven!  I do not want to come back to a house fire.” Steve called back as he ran out the door to his car.

Steve actually managed to get to the girls much faster than he anticipated, so he was only greeted with a _slight_ attitude that he could ignore for the most part.  It was rare for him to ever be late.  They drove home mainly in silence, aside from the few comments about the time they had at camp.

When they arrived home, the house smelled delicious. Natalia hummed, “Pa, dinner smells great.”

Ant cleared his throat, drawing both of his sisters’ attention, “Well, it better.  I’ve been _slaving_ over this oven _all day_.”

“Ant!” Natalia shrieked as she ran over to her brother at full force, nearly knocking him down in the process.

“When did you get home?”  Steph asked walking over to give her older brother a hug, “I thought you were going to be gone for a while.”

He grinned, “I got in earlier this morning, Pops was on a date when I got here.  You two are slacking- how could you not tell me about this?”

Both the girls slowly turned to face Steve almost in unison.  It was freaky-almost like something out of a horror film.  In seconds he was bombarded with a tsunami of questions.

_“You were on a date?”_

_“Do we know the person?”_

_“Was it a man or a woman?”_

_“Are you getting married, and didn’t tell us about it?”_

_“How could you not tell us about this?”_

_“How long have you been seeing this person?”_

_“Pa, how could you not tell us?”_

_“How did you meet?”_

_“Why didn’t you tell us about this?”_

Steve cleared his throat, “Girls, it was one date,” he shot Ant, who seemed to be quite enjoying the spectacle, a glare before continuing, “The reason that I didn’t tell you about it was that it’s not serious- not _yet_ anyway.  I promise if it goes anywhere I will answer any and all questions.”

Stephanie narrowed her eyes, “You swear?”

“Yes,”  Steve groaned, “I swear.  But right now there is nothing to tell.  One of you set the table, dinner’s almost ready.”

Natalia scoffed at Steve’s change in subject, but she set the table without complaint.

Once Steve served dinner, he sat silently as he watched his children.  For once, they were all getting along, and catching up.  Ant was telling stories about boarding school and college interviews, while the girls enthused about science and soccer.  Steve hadn’t realized how much he missed having all his children under one roof.  

He found himself feeling more at peace than he had in months, just listening to his children talk. It was nice, and he wished that there were more nights spent enjoying each other’s company than rushing and running around.  In this moment, life was perfect, and Steve tried very hard not to think about how it would inevitably end.

The rest of the night went smoothly.  No fighting or mentions of paternity testing or botched first dates.  It was just Steve and his children, it was almost as it should be.  Steve found himself wishing he had someone to share these moments with.  Sure- his kids were there but it wasn’t the same as having a partner in it all.  It was ironic, a week ago Steve had been perfectly content being the single parent, but since New York it was clear that he wanted more.  Steve found himself drifting away into his thoughts of extramarital affairs and coffee dates.  Somehow life had gotten much more complicated than it ever had been.  Steve, however, was not sure that it was necessarily a bad thing.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	6. Chapter 6

Steve awoke to the sound of laughter the next morning.  It almost reminded him of back when the kids were younger.  Most mornings, especially on the weekends, Steve used to wake up and just listen to the kids play and run around.  It was familiar, like reuniting with an old friend.  He missed those days, when his biggest concern was wondering which one of the kids would be bold enough to come in and wake up Tony and him first.

He walked down the steps to see his children all sitting around the table laughing-and eating.  Steve was definitely surprised, he usually got up early enough to make breakfast for everyone.  He was even more surprised to see Tony sitting there with them.

“What are you doing here?  You get the kids this weekend, they’re mine until then, you know that,”  Steve said disgruntled.

“Relax,”  Tony rolled his eyes, “I told Ant that I would prep him for his next interview.  I figured, while I’m here, I could run the girls to camp before Ant and I go to the office.  Unless you think that’s a grotesque violation of the custody agreement?”

Stephanie frowned, “Dad, be nice.  You didn’t exactly give him any warning that you were coming over.”

“It’s fine,” Steve relented, he really wouldn’t mind having the morning to relax, “I just wasn’t expecting anyone to be over here this early.”  He looked to his kids, “Go on.  Get ready, your dad doesn’t have all day.”

Steve sighed as his children went to go get all their things together before looking to Tony, “Nice, using the kids to get into the house.  I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, this definitely isn’t the worst thing you’ve used the kids for.”

Tony smirked, “I’m offended that you think I would use our children as a means of manipulation.”

Steve crossed his arms and looked down before responding, “Right, because it’s _not_ like you’ve ever done that before.”

Tony gave a little laugh at that shaking his head.  He leaned in, kissing Steve.  Steve pushed him away leaving him at arm’s length.  Steve sighed, “The kids will be down any second.”

“So that’s the _only_ reason you pushed me away or are you going to start citing other excuses like you usually do before we actually get started?” Tony joked trying to lean in again, but Steve extended his arm, keeping Tony from kissing him this time.

“We’re not doing this right now,” Steve said, “what time is Ant’s interview?”

Tony backed away, much to Steve’s relief, before responding, “It’s this afternoon, but he wants to go by himself, so I’ll drop him off, and then pick him up once he’s done.  I’ll keep you posted.”

Steve nodded as the kids made their way back down the steps.  “We’re ready when you are, Dad.” Ant proclaimed before turning to Steve, “See you later, Pops.  Don’t work too hard.”

“Good luck on the interview,” Steve turned to his daughters, “behave yourselves.”

Natalia rolled her eyes as she and her siblings began walking out the door.  Steve smiled before looking at the clock.  He had a lot of time before Bucky was supposed to arrive, but there was no point in heading back to bed.

Steve decided to make himself breakfast for the time being and try to occupy himself.  There wasn’t too much to do around the house, since he had cleaned excessively the day before.  He _could_ head down to the bakery, but it was too likely that he would get caught up in work and be late getting back to the house.

He decided to call Sam and go for a quick run.  While Sam was the original architect on his extension, he and Steve were also pretty good friends.  They had met at one of the veteran’s hospitals volunteering, and they really hit it off.   They used to go on runs all the time but once the divorce happened, Steve had less time to do things just for himself,

* * *

Steve drove down to the usual trail he and Sam ran.  Lucky for him, Sam was already waiting there.  “What’s up, man?  I thought you’d be dropping off the kids around now.”

Steve shrugged his shoulders, “Yeah, well, Tony decided he wanted to help out this morning.  I can’t exactly say I was disappointed for the morning off.”

“Wow,” Sam said surprised, “You’re actually accepting someone’s help.  That must be a first.  I didn’t know you and Tony were on such good terms.”

Steve snorted, picking up his pace as they ran, “Trust me, we’re not.  He came over to get Ant, who has some college interview this afternoon, and decided to take the girls to camp while he was at it.  Personally, I think it’s more about seeing the kids-when it’s not his day- than it is about doing me a favor.”

“That sounds more like Stark, to be honest,” Sam said trying to keep up with Steve’s pace, “He’s never exactly been the type to do favors for no reason.  But, if what Nat says is true, he may actually _have_ one.”

Steve stopped running and groaned, “She told you?”

Sam chuckled, stopping when he caught up to Steve, “No, but you just did. All she told me was that you got lucky in New York, and- well let’s just say- I had my suspicions.”

“Well, it’s not exactly something I’m proud of, but-yes.  Tony and I _did_ hook up in New York, but it was a one time thing.”  Steve tried to justify himself.

“You don’t gotta explain yourself to me, man,” Sam laughed again, “I get it.  You were with Tony- what- twelve years?  Ten of them spent married to him?  There’s a lot of history there.  But I gotta ask, what exactly are you doing with James, if you’re hooking up with Tony?”

Steve furrowed his brow in confusion, “James? Oh- Bucky!  Sam, I’m not actively hooking up with Tony, and I’m not exactly dating Bucky either.  We had one _terrible_ date, and as far as Tony’s concerned, he’s still married.”

“Then let me repeat the question,” Sam said, “What are you doing?”

“Spare me the lecture, Sam,”  Steve said beginning to run again, “I made a mistake with Tony, that’s all it was.  I gotta run- I have a date.”

* * *

When Steve got home, he took a nice shower. He was nervous enough for this date, and the last thing he wanted was to be filthy.  He was lucky enough to get this second date as it was.  Steve went down stairs after getting ready, anxious for Bucky’s arrival.

Steve impatiently checked both his phone and the clock almost every minute.  After what happened the day before, he _really_ needed this to go well.  He was pacing back and forth, jumping at any small sound and creak in the house.  He hadn’t missed this part of dating one bit, the anticipation alone was killing him.

Finally, after what felt like several hours, there was a knock at the door.  Steve practically raced to the door.  “Hi,” Steve beamed.

“Hey,” Bucky smiled back, “We should get going-this way we can actually get coffee this time.”

Steve nodded as he stepped outside and closed the door behind him. “Sounds great, let’s go.”

“There’s this really cool place, I want to take you to,”  Bucky said as they got into his car, “It kind of reminds me of you-I mean- it just seems like a place you’d like.  It’s very… think small business Starbucks.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, “Don’t take this the wrong way- but why does that,” he looked down trying not to become an excitable naive child, “remind you of me?”

“Oh,” Bucky clarified, “they sell a lot of baked goods, probably not as good as what you used to have in France, but _I_ think it’s pretty good.”

Steve snorted, “I’m sure that the sweets are great.  Believe it or not, I’m not too much of a snob when it comes to that sort of thing.  My kids on the other hand,” he laughed, “I’ve definitely spoiled them.”  Steve caught himself, “I swear, I’m not one of those people who just talks about their kids all the time.  It’s just-with them all home-”

“-You don’t have to explain.”  Bucky cut him off, “Your kids are important to you.  You probably mentioned them a couple of dozen times in your emails about the house.  Honestly, I’d be surprised if you didn’t bring them up.”

Steve couldn’t keep from grinning.  He may not have exactly been trying to date actively, but usually, when he did, people would tend to be less than enthusiastic upon hearing that he had three kids.  He understood, for the most part.  Steve was only thirty-five years old.  He and Tony hadn’t even been married for a year by the time Ant was in the picture.  It made sense that it caught some people off guard but it was reassuring, knowing that Bucky didn’t have a problem with that.

When they arrived at the coffee place Steve had to laugh.  It wasn’t just some coffee shop-it was Steve’s bakery.  “Well, it’s really funny that you said this place reminded you of me.”  He said as they got out of the car.

“Why’s that?”  Bucky asked.

“I own this place,” Steve smiled.

Bucky let out a laugh, “Well this is embarrassing.”

“Honestly, it’s pretty flattering.  I guess I gave a pretty good first impression, out of all the places to get coffee, you picked mine.”  Steve said as they walked inside.

“I just can’t believe I’ve never seen you here.”  Bucky said, “I feel like I’m here all the time.”

Steve shrugged, “It’s possible we’ve _seen_ each other but never talked.  I deal with a lot of customers everyday… maybe I just didn’t recognize you.”

“No way,”  Bucky said meeting his eyes, “I would _definitely_ remember seeing you.”

Steve willed himself not to blush as he walked over to Pietro and grabbed two coffees.  He turned handing one to Bucky, “Just FYI,”  he said as they sat down at one of the tables, “my employees will all be gossiping about this for weeks.”

“We could have gone somewhere else,”  Bucky suggested, “I don’t want this to be uncomfortable for you.”

Steve shook his head, “I’m kind of relieved that you didn’t take me to my competition across the street.”

“Still out of all the places we could have gone, I take you to your own bakery.”  Bucky sighed, “What are the odds?”

“I think it’s a good sign,”  Steve said sipping his coffee, “I mean, like you said, what are the odds?”

Bucky chuckled, “Probably about the same odds of getting interrupted by your son and ex-husband.”

“Yeah, especially since they were supposed to be on the other side of the country.”  Steve found himself chuckling again.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had laughed this much, he had certainly been cynical since the divorce.  Then again his nerves might have had something to do with it.

Bucky shrugged, “That was nice, though, that you two can get along for the kids.  I don’t know what I’d do if my ex just showed up without telling me first.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it getting along but… after all this time, we manage.”  Steve said averting his eyes, the last thing he wanted to talk about was Tony, right now.

Bucky raised his eyebrows, “Still.  I can’t imagine having to see my ex’s face every other weekend.  It must suck.”

“Yeah, at first it was awful, but you get used to it,”  Steve decided to change the subject, “So, do you like the coffee?  If not I could get them to make another one for you.”

“Is that one of the perks that comes with knowing the owner?”  Bucky teased, “No, the coffee’s great, thanks.”

“If you like that, wait ‘til you see the perks that come with _dating_ the owner,”  Steve tried his best to flirt back, feeling slightly out of his comfort zone, “I mean you’ll get all the french pastries you can dream of.”

“Are you trying to bribe me with your amazing baking skills?” Bucky asked clearly trying not to laugh.

Steve met the other man’s eyes, “I wouldn’t exactly call it bribing.  I’m just saying, it’s something to consider if we decide to do this again.”

“Are you _asking_ me ‘to do this again’?”  Bucky responded, he had clearly had more practice than Steve did at flirting.

Steve laughed nervously, “Maybe… yeah.  I guess I am.  If you want to- I mean.  If not-I- I totally get it.”

Bucky smiled, “Relax, Steve.  Yes.  I would definitely like to see you again.”

Steve smiled back relief filling through him, “We don’t have to do coffee next time- we could try something different.  If you’re not too busy this weekend, the kids are with Tony, so I’d really like to make you dinner or something.  My skills don’t just include french pastries, I can make some pretty good meals too.”

“Say no more,”  Bucky said, “I love being bribed by your cooking.  If your meals are even half as amazing as your cookies, I’d be an idiot not to try it.”

Maybe Steve wasn’t as bad at dating as he thought.  He had managed to make it through almost the entire afternoon without horribly embarrassing himself, _and_ got Bucky to agree to another date.  Clearly he was doing something right.  “Maybe, you can come over Saturday?  You don’t have any food allergies right, because that could end badly.”

“No, no food allergies that I’m aware of, and Saturday sounds fine,”  Bucky smiled again and Steve couldn’t help but smile back.  He felt like some twelve year old on their first date, blushing and giggling.  Normally he’d feel insecure about it, but something about Bucky made Steve feel comfortable even outside of his usual comfort-zone.

“Great, you can come by around 7, dinner should probably be ready by then.”  Steve said glancing around the bakery.  He couldn’t help but notice most of his employees watching them curiously.  Steve had _never_ brought anyone by the bakery that wasn’t Clint or Natasha.  Even when they were married, he _rarely_ came by with Tony either.  It was certainly unprecedented.  He was grateful that they were choosing to keep their distance.  He had been worried that Dugan, or the Maximoff twins would have made their way over to tease and humiliate him.  Luckily they too had kept their distance, watching from afar.

It wasn’t soon after they agreed on a time for Saturday, before Bucky was driving him home.  Steve had almost wished the afternoon could last a little longer.  He couldn’t remember the last time he had such a nice experience just _talking_ to another person.  No pressure, no expectations, just talking.  It certainly hadn’t been like that with Tony… ever.  

He was young when he met Tony and things were _very_ physical between them at right out of the gates.  While it may have taken almost a year for them to work up to the actual _sex_ , that was mainly a result of them being separated.  Between Steve’s military schedule and Tony’s press tours, it was nearly impossible for them to _actually_ get around to things, but it wasn’t for lack of trying on either of their parts.

With Bucky it was different.  There was no pressure to rush into anything, and Steve found he _liked_ that.  It was more natural and comfortable.  He felt he could be more himself with little fear of judgement.  It was _new_ , and Steve hadn’t realized how much he craved some variety in his life.

* * *

When they arrived at the house, Steve smiled.  “Thanks for this afternoon.  I had a really nice time.”

Bucky smiled back, “Yeah me too.  I guess I’ll see you Saturday.”

Steve left the car and headed into the house.  It wasn’t two seconds after he closed the door that there was a knock.  Steve reopened the door to see Tony standing there.

“What- is Ant’s interview done?”  Steve looked around searching for his son, who was nowhere to be seen.

“Nope,” said Tony making his way into the house, “I figured since the kids are out, there’s nothing keeping us from picking up where we left off this morning.”

Steve snorted, “I think you meant where you left off this morning.”

Tony made his way over to the kitchen and helped himself to some of the leftover snickerdoodles.  “God, I forgot how _good_ your food tasted.”

“Well, you can take them to-go, on your way out,”  Steve said, still holding the door open.

Tony groaned, “Oh come on, Steve.  It was great!  We both had fun, why does it have to stop?  Give me one good reason.”

“Well the fact that you’re _married_ certainly comes to mind,” Steve retorted.

Tony shrugged, “Well _we_ used to be married, doesn’t that sort of negate the other issue.”

Steve shook his head, “It doesn’t work that way, and you know it.  You should go.”

Tony pouted as he walked over and Steve _knew_ that Tony was going to kiss him.  He _knew_ that all he had to do was push him away and tell him to leave.  He also knew that he was _weak_ , and he gave in to Tony yet again.  Kissing him- not thinking about anything else other than his ex’s very talented tongue.

* * *

Steve wasn’t really sure why he let it happen, or how it ended up happening in the first place, but the next thing he was sure of was that he was in a postcoital haze laying in bed with his ex-husband.  He groaned, “How does this keep happening?”

Tony laughed leaning over to kiss him, “Is it me or is this _easier_ than it ever was when we were married?  I mean we had all these other things going on, but now, it’s almost perfect.”

“It’s easier because you’re married to someone else, and I don’t have to deal with all your other _personality traits_.”  Steve rolled out of bed putting his clothes back on, “Tony, we cannot keep doing this it’s-”

Tony got up and kissed him again before responding, “You keep saying that, but unless I’m mistaken, you enjoyed yourself just as much as I did.”

“That doesn’t make this okay,”  Steve said handing Tony his clothes, “You’re married, and I- I may see myself being in a relationship in the not-so-distant future, so we should stop this. Before anyone gets hurt- especially the kids. If they found out-”

“-They’d be thrilled their parents are getting back together?”  Tony asked condescendingly, “I think they would see that as a good thing.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “But we’re _not_ getting back together.  You’re still very much married, and even if you weren’t it doesn’t mean I’d want to go through all that again.  This,” he motioned between the two of them, “is _just sex._  Nothing more, and it’s _never_ going to happen again… _ever_.”

“Well, no offense, Steve.  How am I supposed to believe that?”  Tony said dressing himself, “I mean you said that last time, and here we are.  No alcohol to blame it on this time, either.”

“Tony, I’m not some naive young kid that you can manipulate.  It was a mistake that _we both_ made but it’s over.  The guilt has been killing me and, we _both_ know that it’s only a matter of time before you get bored of me, like before, so let’s just cut that whole part out and end it.”  Steve said not meeting Tony’s eyes.

Tony walked over to him, waiting until Steve finally met his eyes again, “Is that what you think?  You think I just got bored one day?”

“Don’t patronize me, Stark,” said Steve as his temper began to rise, “don’t try and tell me that you had an affair because you felt underappreciated or some shit like that.  Don’t try and turn that around on me.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Tony sighed, “I was just going to say that I was a bad husband, but it wasn’t because I was _bored_.”  His voice raised slightly in pitch before quietly adding, “it may have had something to do with my ego.”

Steve backed up a little bit, trying to create more space between him and his ex-husband, “Yeah, I’m sure some young girl idolizing you, _really_ added to your ego-mania.  I mean there must have been a dozen just like her- and I doubt you slept with _all_ of them.  If you did- I really don’t want to hear about it.  But then you _just had to marry her,_ didn’t you?  As if it wasn’t hard enough, dealing with the divorce. _You_ had to go and _marry_ her not even a week after the paperwork was finalized.  I mean if that wasn’t done to hurt me, I don’t know what the point was.”

Tony took a deep breath, “I thought she was _pregnant_ , Steve.  That’s why I married her.  That’s why I left.  That’s why I didn’t try to work things out, she was pregnant.”

“Well, no offense, Tony, but you don’t have another child.  Did she lie or…”  Steve paused not wanting to think about the other possibilities.

Tony shook his head, “She didn’t lie.  She had a miscarriage, and I may be cold, but I wasn’t going to just leave her after that.”

“Yeah, but you had no problem leaving your _husband_ and three kids-”

“-Don’t bring the kids into this.  I fought tooth and nail for them- you know that.”  Tony cut him off, “I just- I thought you should know that I never stopped loving or caring about you.”

“You need to go,”  Steve said turning away from Tony, “now.”

Tony rubbed his forehead, “Steve-”

“-Go!  I don’t want to hear it.  It doesn’t excuse _anything_ , Tony!  You never would have even been in that situation had you just been faithful!”  Steve could practically feel all the devastation of the divorce crashing back into him.  He thought he was past this, he thought it didn’t hurt anymore, he felt like such an idiot.

“Steve,” Tony wrapped his arms around him, “I’m sorry.  If I could do it over- I never would have left.  I didn’t know what to do-”  Tony’s phone began ringing as Steve pushed his ex off of him.

“It’s probably, Ant,”  Steve sighed, “You should go get him.  Besides I have to pick up the girls soon, anyway.”  He walked towards the enormous bathroom, “Let yourself out.”  Steve locked the door behind him, _willing himself_ not to cry.  It felt like it was happening all over again, and he couldn’t do it again.  He just couldn’t.  He was barely able to keep it together the first time around.  He knew that it was a mistake to do this with Tony again.   _Why couldn’t he have just listened to his better judgement?_

He jumped as Tony knocked on the door, “Steve, we should talk about this.  Just come out of there, I didn’t mean to upset you, I was actually hoping it would do the opposite.”

Steve didn’t answer-he _couldn’t_ answer.   _What was there to even say?_  He just stood there in silence, not even daring to look at the door.  All he could think about was Tony _promising_ Sunset that he would be there for her and _their_ baby.  Steve felt nausea creep up in his stomach as Tony kept pounding on the door.  This was _worse_ than the first time.  Tony cheating on him was one thing-but to get someone pregnant… Steve couldn’t even fathom it.

“Steve, are you okay?  Come out of there, I’m worried!”  Tony called again

Steve ignored him, as he turned on the water in the sink.  He splashed some on his face, trying to calm down.   _It shouldn’t change anything_.  He knew Tony was unfaithful-why should a baby make a difference?  It did though.  

It made a difference because he wasn’t just sleeping with this woman’s husband anymore.  He was sleeping with the man who promised to take of her and their child.  The man that refused to abandon her after she lost the baby.  The man that probably helped her through that difficult time.   _How could Steve ever forgive himself for that?_

“Steve, if you don’t come out, I’ll break down the door with something.  You’re scaring me!” Tony said.

“Don’t.”  Steve said just loud enough for Tony to hear him, “I’ll be right out.”  He opened the door slowly and walked out, not making eye contact at Tony.  “I’m fine.  Go get Ant.”

“It wasn’t Ant,” Tony said, “It was the office.  Do you want to talk about this?  I meant what I said, Steve.  I wish I never left you.”

“You’re _married_ ,” Steve reiterated, “Don’t tell me that you never loved her, because you don’t give up everything that we had for someone you just feel sorry for.  Please, just stop lying.  If you loved me you wouldn’t have _slept with her_ in the first place!  You definitely wouldn’t have put me through that _hell_ of a divorce, not if you cared about me at all!”

Tony crossed his arms, “What do you want me to say?  I _love_ you, Steve.  I want to fix this-fix us.”

“I gave you that chance,” Steve said quietly, “when this whole thing happened, _I_ wanted to go to counseling.   _You_ never showed up.  Why should that change now?  How do I know you’re even telling me the truth?  You lied to me about _everything_.  I feel like such an idiot.  How could I put myself through this again?”

“Steve,” Tony sighed, “I want us to be a family again.  Don’t you want that?  I made mistakes- which you know is hard for me to admit- but I did.  Let me fix this.”

Steve _wanted_ to believe him, he really did, but how could he?  After everything that had happened, after more secrets had just came out.  He couldn’t believe him, no matter how much he wanted to.  “Tony, I really need you to leave. I just- I need to think.”

Tony nodded, “Okay.  Fine.  But we’re gonna need to talk about this sooner or later.”

Steve didn’t respond as Tony left him alone.  He stared at the floor, he wasn’t sure how long he had stayed there, just looking at the carpet.  The only thing that prompted him to move was remembering that he had to get the girls, otherwise he may have sat there the entire night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	7. Chapter 7

Friday night, Steve dropped the kids off at Tony’s.  He stayed in the car as the kids ran inside- grateful that he didn’t have to face his ex-husband.  For the first time- he was glad to have the house to himself.  It gave him time to think about everything Tony had told him.  While initially all he could feel was guilt for doing to Sunset what she had done to him, it provided him with some answers.  

If what Tony was saying was true then Steve had been _wrong_ about everything in the past five years.  Tony had been standing up to his responsibility- what would Steve had done in that situation.  Steve tried not to think about the fact that it wouldn’t have been an issue had Tony just been faithful, but nonetheless it gave Steve some much needed reassurance.  Reassurance that Tony didn’t just get bored of him one day, and decide to leave.  Reassurance that he didn’t just end their marriage so he could upgrade spouses.  Reassurance that Steve hadn’t made a complete mistake all those years ago when he said “I do.”

In fact he tried to look at Tony’s recent revelation as a good thing.  While he was less than thrilled that Tony had cheated on him, and got Sunset _pregnant_ , Tony was actually being honest with him for the first time in five years.  It was almost a relief knowing what had _really_ gone on all those years ago.

Steve was also surprised that Tony was actually _giving him his space_.  For the most part, since their whole affair began, Tony had been calling and texting him incessantly.  That is until Steve had his meltdown a day ago.

He had genuinely appreciated Tony respecting his privacy.  In the past Tony was a strong supporter of hashing out their issues, no matter how much Steve didn’t want to.  Not that Tony was necessarily wrong in that point.  Especially after his accident, Steve had retreated into himself and Tony was the one to pull him out.  He wouldn’t just let Steve be moody and self pitying, he pushed him back out into the world again.  This time however, Tony was keeping a safe distance.  Maybe he had changed, if only a little bit.

For the first time since New York, Steve considered initiating the conversation between the two of them.  Steve stared at his phone for a long while, debating whether or not he should call his ex-husband.  On the one hand Steve _finally_ got what he wanted.  He _had_ been the one who insisted that the affair was wrong, and the guilt had certainly been eating at him.  Tony leaving him alone only kept them from sleeping together again- which was what Steve wanted.  On the other hand he couldn’t deny that there were still some feelings there for Tony.  Would he ever forgive himself if he didn’t try and see if they could make it work?  Didn’t he owe it to himself to try?

Steve still was unsure about how to handle the situation.  He decided to put his phone aside and think about it later.  There was a lot that he needed to figure out before he decided to see Tony again.  Besides, he had to push all of that out of his mind since Bucky was coming over for dinner the next evening.  

Steve wanted to make something that he hoped the other man would like, but he didn’t want to get too complicated either.  Steve had a tendency to overdo things when he wanted to impress someone, and it usually had the opposite of the desired effect.  He remembered the first time he cooked for Tony- after they returned from France- and it didn’t exactly agree with Stark’s sensitive stomach.

Steve pushed the thought of Tony out of his mind as he rummaged through his old recipe book.  He hardly even looked at the thing anymore, for the most part he had stuck to a similar rotation of food.  The kids never complained-and Steve wasn’t picky- so it worked for them.  However, given that Bucky had never eaten a meal that Steve prepared before, he wanted it to be special.

Steve compiled a list of groceries that he would need to pick up the next day.  He _really_ should have just bought it all when he took Ant earlier in the week, but it was too late now.  Steve put aside the recipe book, and sighed.  His mind drifted back to Tony.  There was so much that he wanted to say, but didn’t know how to.  Why did this make any difference at all?  Was Steve just being terribly naive thinking that Tony was somehow trapped into that marriage?

Steve shook his head.  He knew better than that, but still he’d be lying if he denied feeling happy upon hearing that Tony had an actual reason for tearing their family apart.  It _didn’t_ change Tony’s infidelity though, in fact- it made Steve wonder how long the affair went on for before the news broke.  Either way, he knew that he’d have to talk to Tony about it… eventually.  He wasn’t quite ready to have that conversation yet.

 

* * *

 

The next morning Steve ran out to the grocery store.  He settled on making Bucky some baked ziti.  Most people liked it- unless they didn’t like cheese, but Bucky hadn’t mentioned that.  Steve felt like it was a safe way to go.  He gathered the ingredients for his tomato sauce and got out of the store as quickly as possible.  It was usually only a matter of time before someone recognized him and began playing 20 questions- asking all about his personal life and the divorce.

When Steve arrived back home, he immediately began working on his sauce.  He found that it always tasted best when it had been cooking for a while.  Once the sauce was on the stove, Steve figured it wouldn’t hurt to do some cleaning.  Between Stephanie’s science experiments gone wrong and Natalia’s soccer gear bringing in dirt, the house had certainly gotten filthy in the past few days.

Once the cleaning was done, Steve decided to devote his attention back to the cooking.  He made sure that everything tasted the way it was meant to, and that he didn’t have to start from scratch.  He looked at the time- he had _hours_ before Bucky was supposed to arrive.  He _could_ call Tony, and at least try to set up a time to talk.  Unfortunately if the kids were around, they would get suspicious.  He and Tony weren’t exactly the type of exes that stayed friends after the divorce.

With nothing to do, Steve decided to go shower.  This would give him one less thing to do later.  Besides, after cleaning the house it wouldn’t hurt for him to freshen up.  Maybe it would even be a nice distraction from everything that had been on his mind.

Steve was wrong.  The moment he entered the bathroom his mind was flooded with memories of just a few days prior.  Hiding in there because he was too afraid to face Tony- to face the reality.  If Tony had just said that he _missed_ Steve it would be one thing- but to declare that he still loved him and had never stopped.  That was almost too much for Steve to bear.  Steve thought he had come to terms with the fact that Tony was married to someone else- evidently that was not the case.  Even hearing the small glimmer of hope that Tony still cared for him, had sent Steve into a tailspin.

He tried again, to push all thoughts of his ex-husband out of his mind.  He took a quick shower and got the hell out of that bathroom before he could even think about everything that had happened in there just two days earlier.  All he wanted was to have a nice dinner with Bucky, where there were no complications, no affairs and no potential babies.

Steve made his way down the stairs, and stirred the sauce before looking at his phone.   Again nothing.  No calls or texts from any of his kids _or_ his ex.  Part of him was relieved while the other part was… disappointed.  He wasn’t sure what it was that he wanted from Tony but he knew it wasn’t _this_.   _This_ sitting around thinking about him- like some kid who just got stood up on prom night.  He either wanted it to be over or…  he wasn’t sure what the other option was.  He under no uncertain terms wanted to end this affair but on the other hand, he couldn’t deny that he wanted Tony in his life.  But he did know that having both wasn’t on the table, and he would eventually have to make a decision.

Steve looked to the oven, before deciding to make some dessert.  After Bucky had reacted so positively to his snickerdoodles- and pastries at the bakery, it couldn’t hurt to make some sweets if the baked ziti didn’t go over so well.  Steve decided on making some chocolate chip brownies this time- he was personally sick of all the snickerdoodles in the house.

Making the brownies turned out to be very therapeutic, there was no thinking about Tony or Sunset or the almost baby.  It was just him and the batter.  Baking was the first thing that helped him feel better after his accident, he was able to _make things_ this way, not just tear things down.  It was so refreshing to just _be_.  No one to judge him or expect anything.  Just Steve alone with himself, nothing mattered other than him and the oven.  It was something that he could do that was purely selfish, and it was probably the only selfish act he allowed himself.

 

* * *

 

Finally, after what felt like an eternity- Bucky’s car appeared in Steve’s driveway.  Upon entering the house Bucky handed Steve a bottle of wine.

“I figured since you were making the food, the least I could do was bring the booze.” He said.

Steve smirked taking the bottle from Bucky, “Thanks, we can have some later.  Dinner’s almost ready.” Steve motioned to the couch in the living room, “Make yourself comfortable while I finish everything.”

“You need any help?  I’m not much of a cook, but I can fold napkins or something.”  Bucky suggested.

Steve chuckled, “You can cut up the bread-if you don’t mind.”

“Sure,”  Bucky said walking into the kitchen, as Steve pulled out the cutting board, handing it to him.  “So what are we having?  Not that I’m picky or anything- just curious.”

“You’ll find out soon enough,”  Steve said, “patience is a virtue.”

Bucky snorted, “I don’t have too many of those, just warning you.”

Steve raised his eyebrows, apparently he and Bucky had that in common.  “In that case we’re having baked ziti.”

“I’m going to take a wild guess and say you didn’t learn that in France or did you spend a year in Italy too?”  Bucky teased as he cut up the last of the bread and set it on the table.  

“Nah, I learned it back when I was a kid.  When my ma got sick, it was the only thing I could make.  It was just the two of us and it was easy to cook, and we always had a ton of leftovers we could reheat.  I’ve perfected it since then, but no- I didn’t spend a year in Italy.”  Steve said looking away from Bucky.  He couldn’t remember the last time that he spoke about his mother.

“Shit,” Bucky said, “your stories are never anything… happy are they?  Even your year in France was for less than pleasant circumstances.”

Steve shrugged, “It’s really not like that.  I’m… happy.”

“You don’t sound too sure about that.”  Bucky added quietly.

“I don’t have much to complain about, honestly,”  Steve sighed, “I’ve got three amazing kids, a house, a successful business and… I’m on a date with a really nice guy… I could definitely be a lot worse off.”

Bucky was about to respond when the timer went off.  “Dinner’s ready.”  Steve said going over to the oven, glad to be off the subject of his less than happy situation.

“It’s smells great,” Bucky said, a smile creeping it’s way on to his face, “I’m used to eating a lot of canned food, so a homecooked meal is like a godsend.”

Steve cocked his head to the side, “Well in that case, I hope you have nothing but wonderful things to say about this.”  He placed the food on the table, “I can’t imagine ever going back to eating from a _can_.”

Bucky laughed, “Well not all of us have the opportunity to spend a year in France just learning to cook.”

“I could teach you, if you’re interested.”  Steve suggested as he and Bucky took a seat at the table.

Bucky shrugged, “I mean, at this point I’d take any excuse to see you, without being interrupted by your ex or having your employees looking in.”

Steve exhaled, “Yeah, we haven’t had the best luck so far.  However, tonight we should be good.  The kids are with Tony and the shop should be closing soon, so it’s just us.”

Bucky took a bite of the ziti and moaned, “This.  Is.  Amazing.  Honestly, it’s the single best thing I’ve ever had.  I think you’ve ruined me for all other food.  I swear this is better than sex.”

Steve choked on his pasta, trying not to laugh, “I don’t know about _that_.  Unless you’ve had some pretty lousy sex.”

Bucky shook his head, “No.  This is better than _great_ sex.  Trust me.  I _know_ what I’m talking about.”

Steve’s face began to redden, “Well… I’m very glad that you like it.  We can have some of that wine you brought over, or if you want … something else to drink.”

Bucky stood up, “Sure, let me get it.  You made the _best meal in existence_.  The least I could do is pour us some wine.”

Steve sat back in his chair as Bucky made his way over to the counter.  Steve smiled to himself.  This was nice- _no_ \- it was _great_.  They were having a nice time, getting along, and the best part was that they were actually _alone_.  No kids, no nosy employees, no _Tony_.  Just the two of them, and Steve could only imagine where the evening would leave them.

Bucky returned to the table with the two wine glasses.  He handed Steve one and beamed at him raising his glass awkwardly, “To new beginnings?”

Steve gave a slight nod, clanging his glass against Bucky’s, repeating, “To new beginnings.”

Bucky went back to his seat taking a sip of the wine, “So, tell me how you went from a new recruit to a captain in the army in under a year.  You are literally the only person in existence to ever do that…  I’m not even sure it’s allowed.”

Steve gave a small laugh, “Well there was this doctor who took a liking to me in basic training. Really nice guy- and I guess he liked my enthusiasm- he put a in a good word for me with some of the higher ups and the next thing I know I’m moving right into active duty.  Then I met Tony… I didn’t know then but, he too put in a good word for me… _several_ good words, and next thing I know I’m a captain, running my own missions and whatnot.  It was great-until I realized I didn’t really earn it.”  Steve paused thinking back to that time, “I’m still a little ashamed of it, to be honest.”

Bucky looked at him, confused, “I don’t know, you accomplished a lot of things in your short time there.  People still talk about you in the academy.  Stories of the legendary Steve Rogers- not to mention you saved a lot of people.”

Steve shrugged, not wanting to talk too much about himself, “What about you?  How long did you serve before… your injury?”

“Six years,” Bucky answered, “That’s how I met my ex, Brock.  If I knew then what I know now, I would have ran for the hills.  As for as the arm’s concerned, it was a mission gone wrong- right before I was about to get out too.  It was rough, but over time I managed.  I was a good soldier, but I’m not sure how much I can actually say I accomplished.”

“How did you get into architecture?  I mean it’s pretty different from being in the army.”  Steve asked curiously.

Bucky chuckled, “Right, because owning a bakery is so similar to being in active duty.  I don’t know- I liked to draw, and I wasn’t very good at it right away, but once we got out… I needed a hobby, and when Brock left… I thought _architecture_.  I was able to help build things instead of destroy them, and I liked doing it.”

Steve stared at him briefly, before looking down, “That’s actually pretty funny, it’s almost the same reason I got so into cooking and baking.  I needed to make something.  Plus it got my mind off of the injury and the medical discharge from the army.”

Bucky smiled, “I guess we have a lot more in common than either of us thought, huh?  We both have cheating exes, served in the military-got _injured_ in the military and started careers that were originally used to help us cope.  What are the odds?”

Steve smirked back, “Probably about the same as you taking me to my own bakery.”

 

* * *

 

They finished dinner, talking about their jobs and families.  It turned out that Bucky’s parents weren’t around either.  It felt like the more Steve learned about the other man, the more they had in common.  It was remarkable, they way that Bucky stopped seeming like some unknown architect and more and more like an old friend.

“Where did you grow up?”  Bucky asked, clearing the table, “Or have you lived here your whole life?”

Steve placed the plates in the dishwasher before turning back to Bucky, “No, I was actually born in New York um-Brooklyn to be specific.  But once my ma passed away and I joined the army there was nothing left for me there.  Besides Tony wanted to live here, and it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

Bucky shook his head, “Unbelieveable, I’m from Queens.  The only reason I moved to California is because this is where Brock’s from.  I mean seriously, what are the freaking odds?  We should play lotto or something.”

Steve shrugged, “Your guess is as good as mine.  It’s funny though, we never met in the army or in New York, but you turn out to be my architect.  It’s pretty ironic.”  
“Yeah,” Bucky said thoughtfully, “life’s kind of funny that way, huh?”

Bucky was leaning in slowly and Steve could feel his heartbeat begin to pick up speed.  He felt the anticipation building inside him as he muttered quietly, “I made brownies-for later- if you’re hungry.”

Bucky nodded, lips just inches away from Steve’s ,when suddenly the front door slammed open. The pair jumped as Steve looked to the door.  He saw Stephanie soaking wet and sobbing in the doorway.

“Steph?”  Steve asked walking over to his daughter in bewilderment, “what are you doing here?  You’re supposed to be at your dad’s… why are you so wet?”

She looked at him tears in her eyes, “It’s raining, but I just couldn’t stay there, Pa.  I hate him! And I hate _her_!  I can’t believe you make me go there every other weekend!”

“Did you _walk_ all the way over here?”  Steve asked looking outside for Tony’s car, which was nowhere to be seen.

“Yes, I just had to get out of there!  She acts like she’s our _mother_!  I hate her!  I hate Dad!  And I hate her _stupid son!_ ”  She began to weep, not offering any real explanation as to what happened.

“Stephanie, calm down, sweetie,” Steve said, glancing apologetically to Bucky.  He turned back to his daughter, “What happened?”

She opened her mouth to speak, when she noticed Bucky for the first time, “Oh. My God.” She said quietly, a flash of betrayal on her face, “This is why you weren’t answering your phone?  You’re on a date!  Do you do this _every_ weekend when we’re at Dad’s?”

Steve grimaced, “Steph, I understand that you’re upset about a lot right now, why don’t you go change and warm up.  Then we’ll talk about this… I promise.”

She shook her head, “No, that’s okay,”  Stephanie reopened the door, “clearly I’m not wanted here either.”  She walked out the door, slamming it behind her.

Steve glanced back at Bucky before running out after his daugher, in the pouring rain.  “Stephanie!  Come back inside!”  He called out, she was at the end of the driveway, “You’re gonna get sick if you stay out in this!”

Even from far away Steve could tell she was crying.  She shook her head as she turned away, about to head towards the road, when Steve yelled, “Stephanie!  Get back inside, now!  I’m not messing around!  If I have to go over there and drag you into the house, you’re going to be in a world of trouble!”

After a few moments just standing there, Stephanie turned around slowly, and began making her way back towards the house.  Steve felt a surge of relief, at least his daughter was still terrified of getting in trouble, and he wouldn’t have to go running after her in the rain.  When she reached Steve, she leaned into him sobbing.

“C’mon,” Steve said leading her back into the house, “let’s dry you off.”  He closed the door behind them, rubbing his daughter’s back soothingly.  “Why don’t you go change into some dry clothes, and then we will talk about what’s going on.  Okay?”

She nodded rubbing her eyes, as she headed up the steps.  Steve let out a loud exhale before turning to Bucky.

“I am _so_ sorry.”  Steve said, “I can’t believe this keeps happening.  Please don’t leave- I made brownies and,” he sighed hopelessly, “We were having such a nice time.”

Bucky smirked, shaking his head, “It’s all right, this just means that _next time_ , we’ll just have to do it at my place.”  

Bucky grabbed his keys and began heading towards the door, when Steve groaned, “No, no, no!  You _can’t_ leave yet.  You were drinking- you have to sober up first.”

The other man laughed, “Steve, that was over an hour ago.  I’ll call you tomorrow.  Take care of your daughter.”

Steve hung his head in defeat as he walked Bucky to the door, “I’m _really_ sorry.  Let me make it up to you?”

“You have nothing to apologize for.”  Bucky said, turning to face Steve, “Honestly, I think it adds to your whole sex appeal.  You’re _gorgeous_ , you cook, and you’re good with kids.  I think I’d be disappointed if your children didn’t come first.”

Steve snorted, “That’s usually a pretty big turn off for most people.”

Bucky shrugged, “I think it’s sexy, but before we get interrupted again… ” he leaned in and pecked Steve on the lips.  It was _nothing_ like kissing Tony.  It was sweet and short but just enough that left Steve wanting more.  The only problem is that it was over much too quickly.  

Bucky pulled away, “I think that was a little overdue.”

Steve felt a smile making its way onto his face.  “Yeah,” He responded softly, “definitely overdue.”

Bucky’s smirk was back as he walked back towards his car, “I’ll call you tomorrow!”  He called back to Steve who gave a small wave as he headed back in the house.

Steve smiled as he slowly closed the door and leaned against it.  Then he was reminded of the current situation with Stephanie.  He headed into the kitchen and decided to make her some hot chocolate.  He _knew_ Steph, she was his drama queen, and something small like hot cocoa would make her a little less irritable.

Stephanie finally made her way down the steps, in her fuzzy pajamas with her robe, and a towel in her wet blonde hair.  She sulked over to Steve, tears still streaming down her face.  She sat down on the couch in the living room, while Steve handed her the hot beverage.

“Drink up, and try to calm down.”  He sighed, “Does your dad know you’re here?”

Her eyes widened, “I am _not_ going back there.  You _can’t make me_!”

“Relax, Steph,”  Steve said, trying his best not to be too short with her, “I just want to tell him that you’re _safe_.  He must be worried sick.”

His daughter visibly relaxed as she shook her head, “He probably doesn’t even realize that I left.”

Steve frowned, “I’m sure that’s not true.  Before I call him, I need you to tell me what happened.  I can’t fix this if I’m going in blind.”

Stephanie crossed her arms, “I just don’t want to go over there anymore!  The judge said, when we got to a certain age we didn’t have to abide by the custody agreement but where we wanted to be!”

“Steph, you just walked over ten miles- in the rain- to get away from your dad.  Clearly something’s going on,” Steve said sternly, “I think I’ve been patient.  I let you get comfortable and dry off-made you, I some hot chocolate- but I need you to tell me what’s bothering you.”

Steve felt dread fill him again as Stephanie’s eyes began tearing up again.  Finally after a brief pause she spoke, barely louder than a whisper, “He hates me.”

“Steph, your dad does not hate yo-” Steve began.

“-Yes he does!”  She insisted, “he wants to send me away! Just like he did with Ant!”  Her tears were flowing freely now, “He barely even sees us as it is, and he wants to ship us all out of the state.  I guess now that’s he’s raising Robbie, he doesn’t need us hanging around anymore!  I don’t want to go to boarding school, Pa!  Don’t make me go!”

Steve exhaled loudly, “Stephanie, I am not going to make you go to boarding school if you don’t want to.  Your dad wants what’s best for you, but if you don’t want to go, you don’t have to.  As far as not seeing you is concerned, you _know_ how hard your dad fought for you guys in the custody battle-”

“-That wasn’t because he wanted _us_!  It was to spite _you_!  That’s what he does!  He makes it seem like he’s doing something for one reason but really he has an ulterior motive!  Like how Ant said all those seemingly nice things about you in his speech, but it was just to make Dad feel all insecure!  Trust me, Dad did not want custody to see us.  He wanted custody to hurt you!   _I just hate him!_ ”  She shrieked.

“Steph- that’s not true. I’m-”

“-Yes it is!  He just wants to get rid of his kids so that he can just raise _her_ son.  Do you know that Robbie calls him ‘ _Dad_ ’ now?  How insane is that? Dad’s even going to his parent-teacher conferences and _Career Day!_  He _never_ did that for _us_ and _we’re_ _his_ _actual_ _children_ \- at least on paper anyway!  So he can be so involved in Robbie’s life, but he wants to send _me_ away!  I’m _never_ going back there, Pa!”  Stephanie cried.

Steve rubbed his forehead, “Steph, you have to understand that your dad is the only male figure in Robbie’s life.  His dad’s not exactly involved-”

“-And neither is mine!”  She pouted, “But he can be there for someone else’s kid!  I don’t want to be _his_!  Can’t we just confirm it already?  Then I won’t have to go over there anymore!”

Realization sunk in, Stephanie wasn’t using the DNA test to get away from Steve… she was using it to get away from Tony.  “You… you think that I’m-”

“-You _have to be!_  I’m blonde like you, I’m a good person like you!  I was named after you!  I just can’t be his! I can’t!”

It was odd hearing her say that.  Saying that she thought Steve was her biological father- or at least wanted him to be.  He never could tell with her, but if he had to guess, he would have guessed she was Tony’s.  She was just _so smart_.  Steve didn’t think there was anyway she could be _that_ smart if she came from him.

“I have to call your dad- but- I’m not going to make you go back there… not tonight anyway.  Just hang out for a second and try to calm down.”  Steve grabbed his phone and walked into the kitchen, he was just far enough away where she wouldn’t hear everything he said, but close enough where he could keep her in his eyeline.  

Steve dialed Tony’s number, impatiently waiting for him to answer the phone.   _Finally_ , Tony answered quietly, “Hey, sorry.  Sun was in the room… and I had to get out before we discussed this.”

“What are you talking about?”  Steve asked.

Tony paused, “If you’re not calling to talk about… what we need to talk about- then why _are_ you calling?”

Steve groaned, “You are unbelieveable.  Stephanie walked all the way to my house- in the pouring rain, mind you-and you _didn’t even notice?”_

“What are you talking about?  There’s no way she would have…”  Steve heard a lot of moving around on the other end of the phone before Tony spoke up again, “Son of a bitch, she’s gone.”

Steve sighed, “Yeah she’s here.  I just wanted you to know that she was safe… but evidently you weren’t too concerned.  Also thanks for asking me about my opinion on sending her to boarding school.  So much for no more secrets!”

“It wasn’t a secret, Steve.  I just wanted to run the idea by her first, and clearly she wants nothing to do with it.”  Tony explained, “I didn’t expect her to take it this hard though.”

Steve shook his head, “Well, she thinks it’s your way of trying to get rid of her.  Also she thinks that you’re trying to erase them from your lives or something ridiculous like that.  Regardless, she’s here, and I’m not making her go back tonight.  If you want to swing by tomorrow morning and try to talk to her fine, but tonight she stays here.”

Tony exhaled audibly, “Yeah-yeah. I’ll be over there tomorrow.  She really walked that far in the rain to get away?”

“Yeah, Tony.  She did.  That’s between you two, I’m not getting involved.  But you should have a game plan before you come over here.  She’s a mess.”  Steve glanced into the living room where Steph was sitting, sipping her cocoa.  She had seemingly stopped crying.

“Well, thanks for letting me know.  I’ll see you both tomorrow.”  Tony said before hanging up the phone.  Steve walked over to his daughter, and sat next to her on the couch.  

“Your dad was really worried,” he lied, “he’s so relieved to know that you’re okay.  He’s going to come over tomorrow, just to talk to you about everything.  For now though, we both agreed that you’re staying here tonight.”  Steve paused, thinking of how to phrase the next part, “As far as the paternity test is concerned.  I don’t think you mean it when you say you don’t want to be your dad’s.”

“Oh, _believe me_ , I do.”  Stephanie said venomously.

“No you don’t,”  Steve sighed, “and you don’t hate him either. If that were the case, then you wouldn’t be this upset.  You’d just be indifferent.  I think that regardless of what the test says you’re going to be disappointed.  

“When you were little, your dad and I used to pretend that you were some miracle baby.  That you came from both of us.  Obviously, that’s not true.  Obviously, it’s only _one_ of us.  But, sweetie, you got the best of _both_ of us, and I think no matter what that test says, you’re going to find yourself just a little disappointed that it didn’t say the alternative.  That’s all I’m going to say about it.  The offer still stands… if you want to do it by the end of the summer, I will take you.  I just think you’re doing it for the wrong reason.”

Stephanie didn’t respond, she just sipped her drink, not looking at Steve.  Her eyes were red and puffy from all the crying.  At least, she was starting to dry off.

“Why don’t you go up to bed?”  Steve suggested, “You’ll feel better in the morning.”

She nodded heading towards the steps, before she turned to face him, “I’m sorry.  For… everything.  For scaring your boyfriend away… for freaking out about him being here… just for everything.”

“He’s not… it’s not..”  Steve shrugged, “Don’t worry about it.  I’m just glad you’re okay.  Besides, I want you to feel like you can always come here.  No matter what’s wrong.”

Stephanie headed up the steps and into her bedroom.  Steve groaned.  This was certainly not how he envisioned spending the evening.  He made his way into the kitchen, and took a brownie.  It was probably one of the best he’d ever made… too bad Bucky didn’t get a chance to try one.  

Shortly after, Steve made his way up the steps.  Before heading to his room, he poked his head into Steph’s.  Just to make sure she didn’t run off again.  To his relief she was there, sound asleep.  Steve quietly shut her bedroom door, before walking down the hall to his room.

Steve groaned as he threw himself on the bed. Tony would be coming over the next day and Steve still had no idea what he wanted to say to him.  At least, the focus would mainly be on Stephanie, but there was little doubt in his mind that Tony would insist upon talking about the _other thing_.  He tried not to think about it as he waited for sleep to come, the last thing he needed tonight was more stress.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [Tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, sorry for taking so long to update. I was at NYCC last weekend, and then I got bronchitis, so I'm back now! FYI this chapter has some confrontation between Tony and Stephanie. She says a lot vicious things to her father, that she doesn't really mean, and that Steve (and I) do not agree with, so keep that in mind while you're reading.

The next morning Steve got up to find Stephanie sitting alone in the living room.  She was already dressed.  She looked up at him, she must have heard him come down the steps.  “Morning.”  She said unenthusiastically.

“Feeling any better?”  Steve asked as he walked into the kitchen, beginning to make some waffles.  He knew they were Stephanie’s favorite.

She followed him into the kitchen, leaning on the counter, “Maybe a little.  I’m really not looking forward to seeing him today.”

_‘Me neither.’_  Steve thought to himself.  He shrugged, “Who knows?  Maybe you two will just realize that it was a big misunderstanding.”

“I’m not _‘misunderstanding’ anything_.  He doesn’t want me around.  I was basically doing him a favor by leaving last night.”  She said indignantly.

Steve rolled his eyes, “I don’t think he saw it that way, Steph.  Neither do I, for the record.  I think talking to him will do you some good.”

She raised her eyebrows, “We’ll see.  I doubt it.  I’m surprised he’s even going to bother coming over here.”

“Steph, your dad loves you.  You could try toning down the drama a little bit.”  Steve said warningly, “Just talk to him, don’t go looking for a fight.”

She laughed bitterly, “Is _Steve Rogers_ seriously telling me _not to go looking for a fight_? Pa, you fight with the lady at the grocery store when you think she double scanned a product.  Remember when you had that meeting with the principal about Natalia’s little fights, and _you_ got banned from the school for three months.  You’re probably one of the most confrontational people I know.”

Steve shook his head, “That’s different. I’m not paying two times the amount I’m supposed to, and that principal immediately assumed the whole thing was Talia’s fault.  There’s a difference, _you’re_ fighting just to get to your dad.   _That_ I do _not_ approve of.”

“It doesn’t matter,” She said stubbornly, as Steve placed a waffle onto her plate, “I’m not going back there… not ever.”

“I guess we’ll see if you’re still saying that once your dad gets here.”  Steve said helping himself to some breakfast.  “I have a feeling after you talk to him, you’ll be singing a different tune.”  There was little doubt in Steve’s mind that one Tony reassured Stephanie- and maybe provided a small bribe- he would be back in their daughter’s good graces.

Stephanie must have sensed what Steve was thinking, as she spoke up, “This is _different_ , Pa.  This is me, figuring out what I should have seen years ago… he doesn’t care about anyone but himself.”

Steve sighed, “I know, I’m beginning to sound like a broken record but, that’s not true.  Your dad cares about you- and your brother and sister- very much.  Now, just eat your waffle, I don’t want to get anymore involved than I already am.  This is between you and your dad.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes, as she focused on eating her waffle.  Steve was just relieved that she wasn’t going to drag him even further into this situation than he already was.  The pair ate their breakfast in silence, not even making eye contact with each other.

* * *

A few hours later Tony arrived.  Much to Steve’s relief he was by himself.  The other kids were still at his place, with Sunset.  Steve was just relieved that he didn’t have to see _her_.  Steve opened the door for his ex-husband.  The two avoided meeting each other’s eyes, as Steve motioned to the couch, where Stephanie was sitting.

Tony walked over to her, he took a deep breath, “Steph, what the hell is going on?  Tell me what the issue is, because all we talked about last night was the _possibility_ of boarding school.  It’s not like I’m about to ship you off tomorrow.”

“Pa said, I ‘don’t have to go’... ever.”  Stephanie pouted, her arms crossed.

“He’s right,” Tony said glancing back at Steve, giving him a glare, “You don’t _have_ to go.  Do I think it’s a _good idea_ for you to go?  Yes.  Do you _have_ to? No.  I do think that you should consider-”

“-No.  I’m not going.  You can’t just send me away like you did with Ant.  But don’t worry,” Stephanie said venomously, “I can just stay here from now on.  That way we both get what we want.  You don’t have to see me, and I don’t have to go to boarding school.  This way everyone’s happy.”

Tony groaned, “Stephanie, how does me wanting to better your education equate to me not wanting to see you?  Just please explain to me the logic behind that, because I’m drawing a blank.”

“ _Please_ , I know what you’re doing.  By sending us to one of the best schools in the country, you get to look like father of the year, but this allows you to just have your perfect little family with Sunset and Robbie, without your kids getting in the way.  I’m not going to be any part of making _you_ look good.  Under _any_ circumstances.”  She snapped, not meeting Tony’s eyes.

Tony let out an agitated sigh, hanging his head in exasperation. “Steph, _please_ tell me you did not endanger your life last night, by walking over ten miles, in the rain, at _night_ because you were feeling _jealous_!  Honestly, I did not expect this from you… Natalia… maybe, she’s too stubborn for her own good. Your brother… definitely, he’d do anything just to spite me.  But you… honey, this is not like you.”

“So you’re not denying anything that I just said?”  Stephanie turned to Steve, desperation in her eyes,“See, he doesn’t care about us.  I told-”

“-Don’t talk to _him_.” Tony said, raising his voice, making her jump, “This is between _you_ and _me_.  For the record, Stephanie, _none_ of what you said is true. I mean, I’ve been running Ant around all week, taking him to college interviews, both in New York and here.  I just want you to have those same opportunit-”

“-So a week, then?  Your parental obligations are totally covered by you chauffeuring your son around for a _week_.  I guess that’s just as bad-if not worse than what I originally thought.  You _actually_ believe that you’re a good father.  Well,” she paused, thinking carefully, before adding icily, “I guess you are… to _Robbie_.  You just can’t be a good father to your _actual_ children.”

“Stephanie!”  Steve spoke up, almost immediately regretting it.  Tony was a lot of things, but a bad father was not one of them.  He was struggling, unable to just stand by while Stephanie disrespected his ex-husband, “don’t talk to your dad that way!  Show him some respect, please.”

“I thought you didn’t want to get involved,” she retorted, crossing her arms.

“I thought, I wouldn’t have to,” Steve said angrily as he tried to contain himself, “but evidently, you are not acting mature enough to have a civil conversation with your father.”

Tony put his hand up to him, “I appreciate the help, Steve, but I can handle this without you.”

“ _Please_!  You can’t handle _anything_ without him!” Stephanie yelled, waving her arms in frustration, “He covered for you yesterday, you know!  He said you were _so_ _worried_ when I ran away, but I _know_ that you _didn’t even notice_.  I texted Ant, he was there the whole time.  He said you had no idea that I was gone, until Pa called you.  Yet, he still tried to make you _look good_.  I wonder how many other times he’s done that.”

Tony looked to Steve, who avoided the other man’s gaze.  Tony looked back to Stephanie, he took another deep breath before responding, “Fine.  I didn’t realize.  But, I was respecting your privacy… you wanted to be alone, so I left you alone.  That doesn’t mean that I don’t _care_. Steph, I have no idea where all this is coming from.”

“You do _everything_ for _them_!  But when _I’m_ visibly upset, and need my father you can’t be bothered.”  Stephanie shrieked, shooting to her feet.  “It’s just so obvious that you care about _them_ more.  I mean you spend all your time raising someone else’s kid, but you can’t be bothered with your own!”

“‘Can’t be bothered’ _I_ -”  Tony paused, visibly trying to calm himself, “I’m _here_ , aren’t I?  If I didn’t care would I be here right now?  As far as Robbie’s concerned… he kind of came with the package when I married Sunset, and-”

“-What made _their_ ‘package’ so much better than the one you already had?” She screeched, tears streaming down her face, “Why did you chose someone else’s family over ours?  Why do you _continue_ to chose them over us?  What did we do to deserve that?”

Tony sighed, “Steph, the details of the divorce are between me and your Pops.  It had nothing to do with you or your siblings.  I love you guys more than anyth-”

“-Well it affected us just as much, if not more!  Besides, all the information is public anyway.  You think we don’t know that you two got a divorce because _you’re_ a lying, cheating pig.” Stephanie snapped back.

“Steph!” Steve yelled, “Enough.  Go to your room! You can come down when you want to have a productive conversation with your father.  Until then, you need to remove yourself from the situation.”

She muttered under her breath, “Which is what I was doing last night.” She stormed up the steps, not looking at either of her fathers.

Steve looked to Tony, “I can’t believe that she said that!  Tony, she doesn’t mean it.  She loves you she’s just-”

Tony turned to Steve, “-Is that true?  What she said?  Did you lie for me?”

“That’s what you want to talk about?” Steve asked appalled, “After everything that she just said, you really want to talk about that?”

Tony put his hand up to Steve again, “Just answer the question please.”

“Don’t flatter yourself,”  Steve sighed in defeat as he sat down where Stephanie had just been sitting, “I didn’t do it for you.  I did it for Steph.  The last thing she needed to hear was that you didn’t know she was missing.  I just didn’t realize she was going to check with Ant.”

Tony groaned, leaning his head back, before speaking again, “I didn’t notice, because she asked me to leave her alone _and I did_.  Since when is that a crime?”

Steve shook his head, “It’s not.  She’s just… being Steph.  Don’t take it personally, she’s going through something and for some reason she’s taking it out on you.”

“So, we’re in agreement here?  She’s overreacting, right?” Tony asked, rubbing his forehead,.

Steve shrugged, “I mean she’s a teenage girl, overreacting kind of comes with all the other great parts.  That being said, she’s angry, Tony.  Angry enough to walk ten miles in the rain.  If that’s not a cry for help then I don’t know what is.  It doesn’t excuse anything though.  She should not have reacted that way.  You’re a good father, Tony.  I know this can’t be easy.”

“I’m really trying here, Steve.”  Tony said crossing his arms.  He gave a little sigh that Steve could only categorize as hopeless, “I just don’t know what else to tell her.”

“Maybe try telling her that Sunset was pregnant.  That’s what you told me when I got angry with you.  It worked _really_ well.”  Steve rolled his eyes, allowing his bitterness to show in a moment of weakness.

“We’re gonna do this _now_ , Steve?  Really?  Okay,” Tony put his arms up, “I tell you the truth and you throw it back in my face.  Kind of makes you wonder why I didn’t tell you in the first place.”

Steve snorted, “Okay.  First of all keeping something a secret for five years, and then opening up about it, doesn’t count for honesty.   Mainly, because you _hid it for five years._  Secondly, you’re right.  This isn’t the time or the place.”

“You’re sure as hell right, it’s not.”  Tony stood up and began pacing, “How do I fix this?  How do I make her see that she’s just being dramatic.”

“You don’t.”  Steve said, “You apologize.  You say ‘Sweetheart, I’m sorry you feel that way.  Let me make it up to you.  Let’s spend some quality time together.  Anything you want to do, we’ll do together.’  That’s the only way I see this working out for you.  Then when you’re doing whatever you agreed to, you can have a rational conversation about how just because you’re a part of Robbie’s life doesn’t mean you’re not a part of hers anymore.  And once things are good, you show her the error of her logic, and demand an apology.

“Also you can try checking on the kids when they’re at your place.   _Anything_ could have happened to her on her way over here last night, and we never would have known because you weren’t paying close enough attention.”

Tony rolled his eyes, “I didn’t exactly consider her to be a flight risk.  She’s usually the _good_ one.”

Steve chortled, “She’s the _dramatic_ one.  Running away completely fits into that.  Maybe if you paid a little more attention to your kids, this wouldn’t have surprised you so much.”

“So now that she’s not here it’s _your_ turn to call me a bad father?”  Tony asked snippily.

Steve sighed, that was definitely not what he was trying to convey.  “No.  I’m not saying that.  I am saying that paying a little more attention wouldn’t hurt.  Especially since now, she’s a _proven_ flight risk”

Tony walked over the the steps, before pointing up them. “Should I go up there?”

Steve nodded, “It wouldn’t be a bad idea.  Besides, it sounds like that was what she wanted you to do last night.  Just go in and make sure she’s alright.”

Tony nodded back as he headed up the steps.  Steve groaned throwing his head back, this was not what he had hoped to accomplish when he told Tony to come over and talk to Stephanie.  He was hoping the two would be able to solve their problems, not create new ones.

Suddenly his phone was vibrating.  Steve pulled the mobile device out of his pocket, he glanced at it before seeing Bucky’s number pop up on the screen.  Steve looked back towards the stairs.  Tony and Stephanie were nowhere to be seen.  It wouldn’t hurt for him to answer his phone.

“Hey,”  Steve picked up the phone, “what’s going on?”

“Well since you asked, I was planning on getting some lunch and thought that maybe you and your daughter could join me?  Unless you think it’s too early for me to meet your kids, in which case I would totally understand.”  Bucky explained.

Steve paused as he rubbed his forehead.  Bucky _actually_ wanted to meet his kids.  He couldn’t remember the last time anyone had take a genuine interest in his children.  For most people the whole ‘parent thing’ was a red flag.  Yet, here Bucky was, actually expressing an interest in meeting them.  Too bad there was no way he would be able to make that happen _today_.

“That’s really nice of you, but right now I’m kind of dealing with her and… my ex.  Today doesn’t seem like a good day, but I think it’s really… cool… that you want to meet my kids.  I just don’t think today is in the cards.”

“Say no more,” Bucky said, “I get it.  Your daughter should definitely be the priority right now.  Call me when you’re free?  This way we can plan a proper, interruption free, time to see each other.”

Steve gave a laugh, “Yeah, sounds good.  I’ll call you later.”

“Sure, no problem.”  Bucky said as they both hung up the phone.

Steve glanced at the steps again before finally deciding to go up there and check on the situation.  There was no screaming which was a good sign.  Steve made his way over to Stephanie’s room.  He could hear quiet mumblings, as he opened the door a creak.  He saw Tony standing up, facing their daughter, his back to the door.  He saw Stephanie sitting on her bed facing Tony, tears streaming down her face.  But the two didn’t appear to be fighting, which was progress in Steve’s opinion.

Steve slowly shut the door as he decided to leave the two alone.  Clearly they were in the process of working out all their issues, and they didn’t need Steve to get involved and complicate things more for them.  

Steve walked into his bedroom, all he could think about, other than his daughter’s current meltdown, was how Bucky wanted to meet his kids.  It was such a relief knowing that he didn’t have to worry about inevitably bringing that up… if things became serious.

_Were_ things serious?  Were they serious _enough_ for him to introduce the man to his children?  Steve wasn’t sure that he had the answers to any of those questions, but it certainly made him happy to know that Bucky was open to the idea of meeting his children.  Whether or not his kids would be enthusiastic to meet Bucky would be another issue altogether.

Steve hadn’t brought anyone home to meet his kids… ever.  Mainly it was because Steve’s dating life was practically nonexistent.  It took him a long time to properly mourn the marriage and he had trouble trusting anyone after what happened with Tony.  The last thing he wanted was to open himself up to someone only to be hurt all over again.  

Steve wasn’t sure how the kids would react to him bringing someone home.  They had reacted less than welcoming to Sunset, but that was a… _unique_ circumstance.  The kids knew the role that Sunset had played in the divorce, also they were so young.  Ant was only ten and Natalia was six, leaving Steph in the middle at eight.  It was different and they were too immature to put on a nice face for Tony’s sake.

* * *

After about an hour there was a knock on the door to Steve’s room.  Tony poked his head in, before entering.  “Hey, it’s safe now.  Crisis averted.”

“Good,” Steve sighed, relieved, “what did you have to give her?  Did she apologize?”

Tony snorted, “No.  She didn’t exactly apologize and I didn’t have to give her anything.  She just wanted to talk.  Your plan worked, by the way.  

“I apologized and she just became my soft, sweet little girl.  Do you remember, when she was little and she wanted a cat?  Literally nothing either of us said would change her mind, and then one day you just sat down with her and told her that she couldn’t have a cat until she was able to take of it all by herself, because you and I were too busy.  You explained that it wouldn’t be fair to a cat, since we already had three kids to take care of, and that when she was old enough to take the cat for its shots and doctor’s appointments, _maybe_ she could get one, and she just _got it_.  She never asked for a cat… or any pet ever again.

“You know before I came over here, I asked Sun for some advice.  You know what she told me?  She told me to just buy Steph a new iPhone… which is preposterous since the Stark Phone is clearly better… but I digress.  Your advice was spot on.  I miss us.  Being a team.  It used to be you and me against the world… well at least against the kids.  Now, I feel you and I spend more time fighting _with_ each other than _for_ each other.”

Steve groaned, “I wish she would have apologized. But as far as the ‘team thing’ goes.  That happens, when one spouse has an affair, and knocks someone up.  Things change.”

“Yeah, I guess that one’s on me.”  Tony sighed, “I just wanted to say thanks.  For the advice with Steph.  Also, sorry--for dropping that bomb the other day.  I just- I thought I owed you some sort of an explanation.  I know it doesn’t excuse anything, but I would have done things differently had she not been pregnant.”

Steve shrugged, “You still would have slept with her though.  So what difference does it really make?  We probably would’ve gotten divorced anyway.  If not because of her then maybe someone else down the line.  I think you should go, I still have a lot to think about, and quite honestly Steph has been my main concern for the past day and a half.”

“Yeah,” Tony said standing up, “I get it.  Just thanks.  I’m gonna take Steph with me, she’s getting some of her stuff together, and then you’ll pick her up from camp tomorrow?  Her and Natalia.  I’ll drop Ant off after breakfast.”

Steve’s brow furrowed, “I thought the girls had that sleep-away camp?”

“No, that’s next week.  Which reminds me, next weekend Sun and I are throwing Ant a graduation party at our place.  Obviously you are very much encouraged to come.  I mean- it’ll probably look bad if you _don’t_ show up to your son’s graduation party.   _So_ , I’ll see you then.”

“Yeah,” Steve groaned, “I guess so.” He stood up, as he led Tony back down the steps.  Stephanie was already waiting for them by the door, with her overnight bag in hand.

She hugged Steve, “Thanks, Pa.  Sorry again.  I hope your boyfriend wasn’t too mad.”

“He’s not my boy-”

“-boyfriend?  You’re,” Tony cleared his throat, “you’re _seeing_ someone.  I hope it’s not that architect with the ridiculous name.  What was is “Dicky?- Ducky?  Something _odd_.”

Steve rolled his eyes, “As a matter of fact, yes.  It was _Bucky_.  But he’s not exactly a boyfriend.  He’s more like a friend… who’s a guy… who I have been out with a few times.  Nothing serious.  It’s not like we’re _married_ or anything.”

Tony stiffened, “Well _no one_ was implying that, Steve.”

“Um, so,”  Steph interjected, “We should probably get going.  Right, Dad?”

Tony nodded, “Of course, princess.  Why don’t you go wait in the car?”

Stephanie rolled her eyes as she mouthed ‘Sorry’ to Steve.  She headed out the door and towards Tony’s car. Tony brought his attention back to Steve.

“You’re giving me crap about Sunset when you’re seeing ‘Sucky?’” Tony asked.

“I’m not _married_ to the guy,” Steve said frustratedly, “besides, he and I aren’t even officially dating.  We went out three times- two of which- were interrupted by our children.  You on the other hand- you took vows-again!  I guess you figured it wouldn’t be a proper Tony Stark marriage without infidelity.”

Tony gave him a look, “Fine.  You’ve made your point.”  Tony opened the door, “I’ll drop Ant off tomorrow.”

“Great,” Steve said closing the door, the moment that Tony was out of the doorway.  

What a freaking twenty-four hours he just had.  Between Stephanie showing up at his doorstep and Tony _not even noticing_ that she was gone, Steve almost wasn’t sure that Tony and Steph were going to be able to work it out.  Steve was definitely relieved that they were able to come to an understanding without him needing to get too involved.

Steve looked to his couch.  When did everything get so messed up, just a week ago, he was heading home from New York with his girls.  Now he was helping his ex-husband maintain a somewhat healthy relationship with their daughter.  All he wanted was some time to himself.  

Steve headed up to his room, he took out some of the old photo albums.  He had seldom looked at them since the divorce, but now he needed to be reminded of a simpler time.  A time when he was blissfully unaware and in love.  He looked at a picture of one of the first family vacations that they had taken.  Natalia couldn’t have been more than two years old.  They had taken the kids to Disneyland for the first time.  As hard as Steve tried to focus on when they took Ant on his first roller coaster, and Stephanie meeting Cinderella, all Steve could think about was whether or not Tony was cheating on him back then too.

Maybe Tony was coming clean.  Maybe he was telling the truth, but Steve wasn’t sure he could ever trust his ex-husband again.  No matter how much he wanted to.  He put the photos away, before taking out his phone to call Bucky…  he needed a date to Ant’s graduation party after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about in on [ Tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	9. Chapter 9

The next morning Steve got up early to go on another run with Sam.  He was sure that he would have to hear Ant complaining about what happened all afternoon, so he figured blowing off some steam would be beneficial.

When he arrived at their trail, Sam was, as usual, already waiting for him.  “Hey, man.  You want to talk about what the hell happened with Stephanie this weekend?”

Steve sighed, “I guess you talked to Bucky?”

“Yeah, well I didn’t exactly hear it from you or Tony.”  Sam said as they began jogging, “What the hell is going on in your life?”

“It was just Steph being Steph.  She said some pretty messed up stuff, though.  She and I are going to have a long conversation about that.  But yeah, I guess the moral of the story is I can’t manage to make it through an entire date without being interrupted.”  Steve paused, “Was he mortified?”

Sam shrugged, “Nah.  He said, and this is a direct quote, he found it ‘kind of endearing.’  I mean, I don’t know if I would agree, but hey, he doesn’t seem to mind it.  But not for nothing, I was under the impression that Steph was the good one.”

Steve snorted, “Hardly.  She just holds all her stuff in and then has a completely unwarranted overreaction.  The other two just act out more often.  She usually causes a bigger issue though.  None of my kids are ‘the good one’.”

Sam laughed, “She’s okay though?  James was worried.”

“Yeah,” Steve rolled his eyes, “she’s fine.  It’s Tony I’m worried about.  She said some pretty nasty stuff.  I know she didn’t mean it, but she didn’t exactly apologize.  I don’t know what I would have done, if she said any of those things to me.  I’m surprised he didn’t snap and go off on her, she would’ve deserved it.  If Tony didn’t have that kind of self control… she crossed a line.”

“Shit, man.  That sucks,”  Sam said picking up his pace trying to keep up with Steve, “but I doubt either of you would have freaked out on her.  You two are probably the most protective parents on planet earth.  Remember that time Tony designed a portable taser for Ant to carry around when he had that bully?  How long did that suspension last again?”

Steve laughed, “Ant was out of school for two weeks.  Tony was banned for the rest of the year.  Still… Steph crossed a line.  And by that, I mean that she went way too far.”

“Well, like I said,” Sam broke into a run.  “You two are good parents.  I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

Steve slowed up, allowing Sam to keep up, “I don’t know.  It just kind of adds to the chaotic mess that my life has been recently.”

Sam chuckled, “I wouldn’t worry about it.  Your kids are all a bunch of softies.”

Steve shook his head, “I think you’ve got my kids confused with someone else’s.  They’re fighters.  They learned that from both Tony and me.  We never back down, and neither do they.  Is it terrible that I get a sense of pride from that?”

“Nah, it makes sense, man.  I mean you’d rather your kids be able to defend themselves than be easy targets.” Sam said, “However, you do seem to have a lot on your plate.  A really good way to un-complicate that is stop seeing two people at once.”

Steve rolled his eyes, and let out a groan, “The second one becomes serious, I will.”  He looked at his watch, “Crap, I’ve gotta get going, Sam.  Ant’s going to be home in a little while.”

Sam laughed, “I’m beginning to think that every time I tell you something you don’t wanna hear, you come up with some lame-ass excuse to leave.”

Steve snorted, “If I wanted to get out of this conversation, all I’d have to do is pick up the pace.  It’s exhausting slowing down so you can keep up.”

“Oh-alright,” Sam put his hands up, jokingly, “You can get out of my face right now.  Tell Ant I said ‘hi’!”

* * *

Steve got home and took a quick shower before Ant got home.  He was hoping to get the full, and hopefully true, story about what happened that weekend. When there was a knock at the door, Steve opened it expecting to see his son.  Instead he saw Tony standing there with a pint of ice cream.

“What are you- where’s Ant?  He doesn’t have any college interviews or-” Steve began.

“-Yeah.  He went over to the Maximoff’s.  Between you and me, I think he’s got a thing for Wanda.  I don’t think she likes me very much.”  Tony said entering the house.  He held up the ice cream, “I brought your favorite, Rocky Road.  I figured we could-”

“-Tony.  I don’t think sleeping together is a good idea, right now.” Steve cut him off.

Tony raised his eyebrows, “I wasn’t going to suggest that.  I figured we could do ‘Honesty Hour,’ like we used to every weekend.  Remember?”

Steve smiled.  Of course he remembered.  Once every weekend, when the kids were out with friends or hiding in their rooms, Steve and Tony would eat ice cream and spend at least an hour just talking.  The only rules were they could ask the other any question they wanted and the other had to answer completely truthfully.

“I guess it couldn’t hurt right now,” Steve said walking over to the kitchen and grabbing two spoons, “I think we’ve got a lot to talk about.”

Tony grinned, “Couldn’t agree more.”  He sat down on the floor, crossing his legs as Steve walked over to him.

Steve sat next to his ex-husband, handing him a spoon.  “It’s your idea, you go first.”

Tony shrugged, accepting the spoon, and opening the ice cream, “Fine.”  He paused, “Do you think I’m a bad father.”

Steve took a scoop of the ice cream before responding, “No.  I think you’re a very good dad--a great dad.  You’d do anything for our kids.  I know that.  Deep down, they know that too.  They just needed someone to blame for everything and you were the easiest target.”

Tony cocked his head, confusion evident on his face, “Really?  I always thought-after what happened with Steph five years ago- that you thought I was negligent or something.”

Steve shook his head, “No.  I know Steph.  I know what happened was her fault, and that you never liked to argue with them… hence her hunger strike gone wrong.  Like I said she’s the dramatic one.”

Tony nodded, “Well, that’s a weight off.  Your turn.  Ask away.”

Steve thought about it for a moment before asking, “Why did you marry me, all those years ago?  I mean, I was so … damaged after everything that happened in the army.  I always thought you just… felt sorry for me.”

Tony laughed, “Seriously?  Steve, I don’t know if you’ve looked in the mirror recently, but obviously your looks are what first attracted me, after that it was your ‘never say die’ attitude.  Then I was so relieved when you finally woke up from that godforsaken coma, the only plausible option was to marry you.  After almost losing you to that injury, I couldn’t fathom _actually_ losing you.  Which is pretty ironic because I ended up pushing you away anyway.”

Steve met Tony’s eyes, “You have to be honest.”

“I am.”  Tony said, “It’s Honesty Hour.”

Steve sighed, diverting his eyes, “Your turn.”

“Are things serious, with that architect, Lucky?  God he’s got a dog’s name.”  Tony asked rolling his eyes.

“ _Bucky_ and I aren’t serious… yet.  But, I could see it happening in the not so distant future.  I like him… a lot.  I’m sorry, if that’s not what you want to hear.”  Steve said honestly.

Tony shrugged, “It’s Honesty Hour.  You’ve got to be honest.  If that’s the truth, then that’s the truth.  Your turn.”

“Why do you think Steph should get her DNA test? I don’t understand why you won’t side we me on this,” Steve asked stubbornly.

Tony gave Steve a look.  “Selfishly, I’ve always been curious.  It’s been this big mystery her whole life and I want to see how it turns out.  My turn--why did _you_ marry _me_?”

“You saved me.” Steve answered honestly.  “You saved me _from_ me.  Sure I loved you way before the accident, but the way you were able to get through to me and force me back into the real world, instead of wallowing in self pity.   _That_ is why I married you.  Because you knew how to help me when I wouldn’t help myself.  I knew, when you forced me to take that first cooking class, that I was gonna marry you.”

Tony smiled, looking down at his shoes.  “It’s your turn, Steve.”

Steve sighed, “I guess this one has been a long time coming.”  He paused for a moment before asking, “Why did you do it?”

“I’ve done a lot of things, Stev--”

“--You know what I’m asking.”

Tony sighed, rubbing his forehead, “Yeah.  Yeah, I do. “ Tony tapped his fingers, clearly thinking, “Remember, how you wanted another baby?  Well I…. didn’t.  Don’t get me wrong, I adore our kids, but I just felt that I was too… old to start over again.  Then I started to feel guilty because you were so… young.   _You_ were at the age when most people _started_ having kids, and _I_ was at the age when most people _stopped_.  It just started eating at me.   I didn’t want to--or know how to--tell you that I didn’t want another baby.  You were so excited, calling up potential surrogates, and the fertility clinics, and I didn’t want to ruin that.  Then I met Sunset, and she was sort of like… _you_.  She didn’t take my crap.  She had just had a baby, and had zero intention of having anymore.  Then one thing led to another and it just happened.  The ironic thing, is that then she wound up pregnant.  God, Steve, I am so _sorry_.   I should have just _told_ you.  We wouldn’t be in this situation if I had.  I guess I got what I deserved.”

Steve looked down, he wasn’t sure what he was expecting the answer to be, but he sure as hell _wasn’t_ expecting that, “Why _didn’t_ you just tell me? I didn’t _need_ another baby.  We had three kids.  I would have been perfectly happy just having three.  I _am_ perfectly happy with three.  How did you think I would react?”

Tony shrugged, “I just--I _never_ could say no to you, and I didn’t want to ruin it for you.  Unfortunately, I ended up doing much worse than that.”

Steve stood up slowly, twiddling the spoon in his hand, “I don’t think I want to play this anymore.  I wish I hadn’t asked.”

Tony shot to his feet. “Shit, Steve, I didn’t mean to upset you.  God, I’m sorry.”

Steve shook his head, “No, I shouldn’t have asked.  I don’t think any answer would have made me feel any less… upset.  Thank you, though.  For being honest with me.”

“Steve, I’m sorry.  I messed up, but I want us to try again.  Clearly there’s still something here between us.  Don’t we owe it to ourselves to try?”  Tony said, motioning between the two of them.

Steve crossed his arms. “I don’t know, Tony.  I appreciate your honesty, and you coming over here so we could talk about everything, but I do have a lot to think about.  You’re _still_ _married_.  Believe it or not, that _is_ something I’m having an issue with.  I don’t want to do to Sunset what you two did to me.  The guilt has been killing me, Ton.  I just--I don’t know what I want… but I know it’s not this sneaking around.  We did that before--in the army--I don’t want to do it again.”

“I hear you,” Tony said, “but you’re not the only one who needs to figure stuff out.  I mean, Sun and I… to say we’re having trouble would be an understatement, but she’s not exactly the best parental figure, and I…  her kid… he needs me.”

Steve nodded. “Well, not for nothing,  I’m not recommitting myself before you make a decision about whether or not you’re going to stay with your wife.  I refuse to come in between that.  I know how much that hurts.  If you’re not happy with her, then far be it for me to tell you to stay, but don’t leave because of me.  I don’t know what I want, but I don’t want to be the person who ruins someone else’s marriage.”

Tony shook his head. “It’s already ruined.  I didn’t marry her because I loved her.  I married her because I thought she was having my baby.  That--and I felt so goddamn guilty when we found out about the miscarriage.  Don’t get me wrong, I was upset, obviously.  But… I was more… relieved.  Like I said, the last thing that I wanted was another kid, and there she was distraught, and all I could think was ‘ _thank god_.’  How could I leave after that--after she’s a mess, and I’m almost happy about it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Steve asked. “You married her, and you left me.  Why are you giving me these details?”

Tony shrugged as he placed his spoon in the sink. “It’s Honesty Hour.  I thought I owed you the truth, regardless of whether or not you wanted to hear it.”

Steve frowned, “Thanks, I guess.  I just--I still need to think about everything.  Things are definitely… confusing right now.  I am glad that you came by, though.  This was… _nice_.  I… I guess I’ve missed you more than I realized.  Having you here, and talking like we used to, it just reminded me of what we used to have.”

Tony nodded, “I hear you, I liked this too.  I missed just… talking to you.  You and I always understood each other.”

“Yeah, we should try to just… be friends for a little while, and avoid the sex stuff for a little bit.  Like you said, we’re not as young as we used to be.  It makes sense to do things slower this time around.”  Steve suggested.  He and Tony could be friends.  It would be a good way to stay in each other’s lives without interfering with Tony’s marriage and Steve’s almost-relationship.  On paper it was perfect, but Steve wasn’t sure if he and Tony possessed the kind of self control that would come with just being friends.  Steve did _not_ want them to become _friends with benefits_.

Tony glanced at his phone before saying, “Sounds like a plan.  I’ve gotta go, they’re gonna need me at the office.  Lord knows my employees can’t do anything right without me there.  Don’t forget to pick up Junior and the girls.”

Steve nodded, “By the way, I’m planning on talking with Steph.  I _really_ did not like the way she spoke to you yesterday.”

“Steve, I took care of it,” Tony said, walking towards the door, “I don’t want to make a big thing out of it.  She had an outburst.  She’s allowed.”

Steve frowned, “That was some outburst.  And, meltdown or not, she shouldn’t address you that way.  She knows better.”

Tony crossed his arms, “I would appreciate it, if you just let me handle this one.  I’m grateful for what you’re trying to do, but she and I already discussed everything.  And while she didn’t actually apologize, she and I had a heart to heart, and believe me, she won’t recreate that incident anytime soon.”

“Fine.” Steve relented, “I hope you’re right.  I didn’t appreciate her attitude towards you. I hope she’s not like that all the time.”

Tony shook his head.  “No, she’s usually the peacekeeper.  That’s why I let it go.  If it was the boy or the little one, you and I would be having a very different conversation.”

“If you think it’s taken care of, I won’t push the issue.”  Steve surrendered.  “If you change your mind though, don’t hesitate to ask.”

“Yeah, I’ll take you up on that.” Tony said, as he pecked Steve on the cheek.  “I’ll see you around.”

Steve nodded, as he closed the door behind Tony.  He checked the time, to see if he had to get the girls.  Luckily he had a few hours, before they would be done with camp.  Steve decided to start preparing some chicken cutlets for dinner.  It was easy enough and the kids typically enjoyed it.  The last thing he needed was for one of them to have a brat attack.

Just as Steve was putting the chicken in the oven, his phone started ringing.  Steve raced over to it, answering frantically.  He figured it was Ant asking to be picked up.

“Hey, Ant.  You rea-”

“-Nope.  Not your son.  It’s Bucky.”  Steve heard the other man chuckle on the other end of the phone.

“Oh!  Hey.  What’s up?”  Steve asked, catching his breath.  “Is everything okay?”

“Yeah.  I was just hoping to take you up on that offer for cooking lessons.  If it isn’t too much trouble?”  Bucky asked.

Steve smiled, before taking a moment to respond, “Yeah.  That sounds great, I’d love to teach you some _culinary skills_.  When would you be able to do that?”

Steve heard Bucky release and exhale over the phone, “Well.  I was hoping you could squeeze me in sometime this week?  I know you’re obviously, busy with your kids and whatnot, but if you had a free day or something that would be perfect.”

“Yeah,” Steve found himself nodding, despite Bucky not being able to see him.  “Yeah, I should be free Friday afternoon.  The kids should be out of the house--the girls have camp and Ant’s got some college thing--so I should be totally free that day.  That work for you?”

“Sure, that’s fine with me.  I guess you can come over around one, if you need it to be during the afternoon?”  Bucky asked, “I’m just not sure how long this is gonna take.”

Steve grimaced, “Yeah.  Sorry.  I just--I’m not sure how my kids would react to me going out in the evening.  It’s not like I’m trying to keep this a secret or anything--if that were the case I’d be failing miserably--I just don’t know how they’ll react.  I don’t want to push them away.  I need to ease them into the idea.  I hope you understand.”

“Hey, you’ll get no complaints from me.  I get it.  As someone who doesn’t have kids, I have no clue how it must be to juggle your home life and dating life.  The afternoon is fine for me.  I’ll see you then, yeah.  Also before I forget--I spoke to Sam, we should be able to start construction on the house in a week or two!  Pretty soon, you’ll have your extension.”  Bucky announced with an air of excitement in his voice.

“Wow.  That’s amazing.  I can’t believe it.  It’s finally gonna happen.”  Steve said, he was sure Bucky could practically hear him beaming over the phone, “Thank you.  For everything that you’ve been doing.  I _really_ appreciate it.”

“Hey, it’s no problem.  I mean your emails painted a very vivid picture of what you wanted,” Bucky said, “and I have to say, I have very much enjoyed working on your project.  It was an experience to say the least.”

“I hope I wasn’t too picky.  I just… I wanted it to be perfect.”  Steve said rubbing the back of his neck.

“No worries.”  Bucky said cheerfully, “I really did enjoy it.  Besides it gave me an excuse to work closely with _you_.”

Steve gave a small laugh, “Yeah--yeah, that was definitely an… unexpected perk.  I’ll see you, Friday?”

“Looking forward to it.”  Bucky said as they hung up.

Steve smirked as he put the phone down, and brought his attention back to the chicken in the oven.  To say he was excited to teach Bucky to cook would be an understatement.  Cooking was an enormous part of his life and he was happy to be able to share that with the man who was becoming increasingly important to him.  The only people Steve had ever taught to cook were his kids, and it was nice that Bucky was taking an interest.

Steve groaned, trying not to think about his kids too much.  He was still less than happy with Stephanie, plus he had promised Natalia that he would make her something special this week, and he was slightly ashamed to admit, that he had fallen short on that deal.  Not to mention the idea of Ant potentially getting his first girlfriend was far more stressful than Steve would had imagined.  Tony was always so much better with the whole dating stuff.  Steve wondered if Ant had even _tried_ talking to his Dad about it, his ex-husband always knew exactly what to say when it came to their son.  However, ever since the graduation Ant had been more hostile than usual towards Tony.

Steve turned off the oven, and headed out to the bakery.  He’d be able to quickly make Natalia something--and leave it there with one of his staff supervising--while he took care of dinner and tried his best not to think about the drama with Stephanie that weekend.

* * *

When Steve arrived at the bakery, he immediately made his way back to the kitchen area.  Dugan greeted him almost immediately, “Hey, boss.  Everything alright?”

Steve shrugged, “I promised Tal that I’d make her something special, and given that she’s the easy one this month, I may have completely forgotten about it until about two minutes ago.”

Dugan laughed, “Well I bet you never would have guessed that Tal would be the good one … ever.  I mean she’s usually the one who gives you the hardest time.”

“Yeah, I guess she’s earned it.  I figured I’d start some rainbow cookies, go back home and finish dinner before picking these up and getting the kids.”  Steve said as he began taking out the ingredients.

Dugan laughed, “I mean, I could’ve just done this for you.  It’s the least I could do.”

Steve shook his head, “Nah, she’d know somehow.  You know Natalia.  She’s too picky for her own good.”

Dugan laughed. “Yeah, you spoiled them too much.  But I’d be happy to keep an eye on it for the time being.”

“Thanks, Dugan.  I really appreciate it.  Things have been…crazy lately.”  Steve explained as he began mixing the ingredients together, “The last thing I need right now is for Natalia to add herself to the misbehaving children’s club.”

Tim smirked. “Well it’s only a matter of time, isn’t she a card carrying member of the club?”

Steve raised one shoulder and grimaced. “I can dream… but usually she’s club president.  Besides, I hope this will last as long as humanly possible.  The other two are doing a real good job of pissing me off, I really don’t need her to start helping them.”

“That bad?” Dugan asked as he took some bread out of the oven. “I mean you didn’t even have them this weekend.”

“Trust me.  They’ve been _that_ bad,” Steve said, placing the cookies in the oven, “I’ll be back for these later.  Thanks, Dugan.”

He gave a small nod, “No problem, boss.”

Steve stepped out of the kitchen only to see Ant standing by the order counter talking to Wanda.  Ant seemed to be charming his way into Wanda’s good graces, she certainly seemed to be a little interested in whatever he was saying.  Pietro, on the other hand, looked a little less than pleased to see Ant chatting up his sister.

Steve walked over to his favorite barista before saying, “Everything alright?”

Pietro shrugged, “Everything’s fine, Mr. Rogers.  Just a slow day.”

“Really?  Because I could always tell Ant to leave--if that’s distracting or bothering you.  I know that Ant doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes,” Steve suggested.

Pietro shook his head. “No. Your son talked to me about his… intentions with Wanda before this but… I’m worried.  My sister does not fall for people easily and not for nothing, your son will be going to college at the end of the summer.  I don’t see this ending without either of them getting hurt.”

Steve nodded, “Well, who knows.  Some people can make it work.”

Pietro raised his eyebrows. “No offense, but I didn’t exactly peg you for a hopeless romantic.”

He snorted, “Believe me, I’m not.  I’m just saying, some people are better at managing than others.  Who knows.”

Pietro brought his attention to a customer, who was trying very hard to overcomplicate a coffee order.  

“I’ll leave you to _this_ then.”  Said Steve as he headed out the door, trying his best to go undetected by his son.  The last thing he needed was for Ant to accuse him of spying on his date with Wanda.

* * *

Upon entering the house, Steve was surprised to see Natalia waiting there for him.  She was sitting casually on the sofa.  She looked up and waved at Steve as he stepped inside, closing the door behind him.

“Christ, Tal.   _Please_ tell me you _did not_ walk all the way over here from camp.”  Steve said, trying to keep from yelling at his youngest daughter.

Natalia rolled her eyes. “No, please I’m not Steph.  I have a line, and trust me, I’m not walking all that way just to have a bitch fit.  I wasn’t feeling well, so I called Sunset to come and take me home.  Before you yell at me, I figured that you were at the bakery and that Dad was at the office.  I knew Sunset was home, because Robbie had an appointment with the pediatrician this morning.  I figured calling her was the safest bet.”

“Tal, you know I don’t like it when you use that kind of language in the house… are you really not feeling well?”  Steve asked, softening his expression. “I’ll call the doctor and make an appointment--”

“No.  I just _hate_ this new camp that Dad put me in.  Soccer was so much better than fencing.  Why did he even think that I would like fencing?  Do I look like the kind of kid who would like--”

“You could have given it a chance, Natalia.  I mean what would it hurt to try it for a week?” Steve asked agitatedly as he turned the oven back on.

She shrugged. “I’ll give that new sleepaway camp a chance.  Fencing is very much not for me.”

“Really?  To be honest,” Steve sighed, hoping reverse psychology would do the trick. “I’m relieved.  The idea of you running around the house with a sword.  You could certainly be a menace to your siblings _without_ a weapon.  I’m kind of glad you don’t like it.  If you _had_ taken an interest in it, it would only be a matter of time before we had to actually buy you your own gear and--”

“Not gonna work, Pa.  I.  Don’t.  Like.  Fencing.  Now, Rugby on the other hand.  I can get behind that sport.”  Natalia said, standing up from the couch and walking over to Steve.

He chuckled. “Just stick it out for a week.  I’ll tell you what.  If you try it for the next two days I will let you take off Thursday and Friday.  Sound good?”

She grimaced, clearly weighing her options.  Finally, she gave a sigh, “I guess that sounds fair.  But you better talk to Dad next year.  I swear he must have been really drunk when he was signing us up for these clubs.  He has Steph enrolled in baking… _baking_.  Steph can’t even make toast without burning it.  But hey, signing her up for baking seems like a great idea.”

Steve snorted. “Or this could be your dad’s way of helping your sister improve in an area she usually struggles in?”

“ _Sure_.  When she burns the school down, we’ll know who to thank,”  Natalia said sarcastically, before her eyes lit up. “Did you make brownies?”

Steve looked behind him, before remembering Bucky’s brownies that went uneaten.  “Oh.  Yeah.  But I’m making you your special snack that I promised.  I just left it in the oven at the bakery so I could get a jump start on dinner.  So I wouldn’t bother with the brownies if I were you.”

She frowned. “So… you’re saying I _can’t_ have both?”

Steve snorted, shaking his head. “Sorry, squirt.  I’m going to have to give you a hard no on that one.  But if your brother and sister leave some brownies, you can have some _tomorrow_.  But since you gave me such a hard time about making you something special, the brownies are gonna have to wait.”

Natalia shrugged. “Fine, you could just tell me about this boyfriend that you’ve been hiding.  Steph said that there was someone here when she showed up to make the most theatrical scene in the history of the world in order to protest attending boarding school.”

Steve sighed audibly. “I don’t… he’s not my boyfriend.  Not _yet_ anyway.  Besides, I already told you, the moment it get’s serious I’ll introduce you.  I promise.”

“Fine.  But technically, I’m the only one who _hasn’t_ met him.  Unless these were two different guys in which case… that’s a _scandalous_ life you’re leading, Pa.”  Natalia teased.

Steve rolled his eyes. _She had no idea how_ scandalous _the whole thing really was_.  “I don’t think your siblings getting a glance at him counts as _meeting_ him.”

She groaned dramatically, “Fine, fine.  Hide him away for now, but it’s only a matter of time before we _have_ to meet him.  Plus I’m sure Aunt Natasha knows who he is--or how to find him, so… really you should just introduce us before we have to take matters into our own hands.”

He raised his eyebrows, “I’ll keep that in mind.  In the meantime, why don’t you tell me what happened this weekend?  I mean your sister… tends to be…” Steve struggled to find the right word.

“Insane?” Natalia suggested, before continuing, “She’s Steph… she took a small gesture that Dad was suggesting--for _her_ benefit and she went batshit crazy--”

“Language, Tal,” Steve said warningly.

She groaned again, “ _Fine_.  Before she went overly crazy, and flipped out.  Then she stormed off and told everyone to leave her alone.  Then she got pissed when we listened, and decided to run home to you.  Let’s face it, Pa.  You’ve never really been a believer in tough love, so she figured you’d be all sympathetic and take her side, even though she was the one going crazy.”

She looked down at her feet before adding quietly, “I know you and Dad are not exactly the best of friends, and I’m sure you’d like me to tell you the whole thing was his fault… but… in my opinion… he didn’t do _anything_ wrong.  In fact,” she added raising her voice slightly, “I bet if he didn’t suggest boarding school, she would have found a reason to get upset about _that_.  She would probably say that ‘Dad doesn’t think I’m smart enough for his prep schools’ or something ridiculous.”

Steve sighed. “Well, believe it or not, I’m glad at least one of you guys is on your dad’s team.  He loves you, and I know things aren’t easy… but he’s always been a good father.  I’m just glad that one of you can see it.”

“They both see it too,” Natalia said. “It’s just easier to get mad at him for all the other stuff.  Like how Sunset’s… Sunset….  and Robbie can be a pain… but they’re Dad’s family now, so I _try_ to be… _civil_.  Ant and Steph though… Pa, every time something doesn’t go their way, they want to rehash the whole thing.  Maybe since I was little, and I don’t remember all the details of the divorce it’s different for me but… they can be really… _unfair_ when it comes to Dad.”

Steve pulled Natalia in for a brief hug. “I know, sweetie.  But everyone deals with their issues differently.  I’m just very glad that you and your dad have a good relationship.  I just wish your brother and sister could have that too.”

She muttered under her breath. “They _could_ if they stopped being such _morons_.”

Steve frowned. “I’m going to finish dinner, you can help if you want or… just hang out until we’re ready to go?”

“I’m gonna go nap.  Between the theatrics on Saturday and Robbie’s fever last night… I didn’t get a lot of sleep this weekend.  I’ll be down later.”  She said as she raced up the steps.

Steve watched as his daughter ran upstairs.  He was glad to get some sort of an idea of what happened that weekend.  He knew that Stephanie was hardly a reliable source, and what Natalia was saying _did_ make a lot of sense.  He checked his watch again.  It was only a matter of time before he had to go get Stephanie and pick up the rainbow cookies from the bakery.  He hoped that he would be able to manage everything until then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [Tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi guys! This chapter has some Stony Angst and some Stucky Fluff (finally!) I hope you enjoy!

The next day began relatively normally.  He dropped Stephanie and Natalia off at camp that morning, and he dropped Ant off at Wanda Maximoff’s place.  Apparently Ant was hoping to drag her and Pietro to some of his college interviews in hopes it would give them some collegiate connections.  Steve wasn’t quite sure if his son’s plan would work, but it was certainly worth a shot.

After he dropped the kids off, Steve went and got coffee with Clint and Natasha.  They usually tried to do this once a week, but sometimes life got in the way.  It was nice, being able to talk to them.  They usually knew him better than he knew himself… he just didn’t like to admit it.

Steve took his seat at their usual table.  For once, Clint and Natasha had managed to beat him there.  

“Sorry, I’m late,” he said, “I’ve been running the kids all over the place.”

“That’s the beauty of only having one.”  Natasha smirked.  “I only have to make one trip.”

Clint nodded.  “And we only have to pay one college tuition.  You on the other hand,” he motioned to Steve, “You’ve got _three_.  I do _not_ envy you, man.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “So what’s new?  Anything to report?”

“Not much.  Although Rosie _did_ mention that Steph _ran away_ this weekend in that freak storm we had.  Or were you _not_ going to tell us that?”  Natasha asked, leaning in closer to emphasize her point.

 Steve burned the roof of his mouth as he took a gulp of coffee.  “Wow, okay--I guess we’ll start with me.   _Yes_ , she ‘ran away’ to my house, but it was just her throwing a temper tantrum.  Nothing serious.”

“‘Temper tantrum’ or not, that’s a big deal, Steve.  Have you guys considered family counseling?  Most kids don’t walk over ten miles in the rain just to make a point,” she suggested.

“You’re profiling again, sweetie.”  Clint said, taking a sip of his coffee.  Natasha was a criminal profiler for the Central Intelligence Agency.  When someone committed an international crime or act of terror it was her job to distinguish what _kind_ of person would be responsible.  She was the best in her field, but she had a tendency to extend that into her day-to-day life.

“No--no,” Steve said, “I… I’m considering it.  Especially since I have a lot of crap that my son may or may not have demanded I figure out so… I’ve been thinking about it.  Like you said, drama queen or not, she was clearly crying out for help.”

Clint smirked.  “Yeah, I heard you were on a date too.  That kind of blows.”

Natasha gave her husband a slight shove.  Steve groaned.

“Yeah, I was.  Let’s just say it ended pretty quickly after that.  Most guys don’t like to stay around while your daughter--who they never met-- is having a breakdown in your living room.  I’m seeing him again on Friday, though.  So… there’s that.  I guess I should take the fact that he didn’t run kicking and screaming as a good sign,”  Steve said, drinking some of the coffee.

“Can we rewind to the part when you stopped seeing Tony and started seeing this new guy?” Clint asked, beaming.

Steve grimaced. “I may… be… seeing… _both of them_.”

Natasha perked up at that.  “ _Yeah?_  That’s actually… encouraging to hear.  Maybe this way you can _move on_ with your life.”

“Or… it’s terrible.”  Clint suggested, “Don’t get me wrong,  Rogers.  I’m not trying to rain on your stand against celibacy, but… seeing two people at once… that can get messy.  Especially since you and Tony used to be married.”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, I know.  I’ll end one the moment the other gets serious.  Right now though--I’m not _committed_ to either of them.  I’m not doing anything wrong.”

“Besides sleeping with a married man.”  Natasha gave him a smirk.  “I think you can get off that high horse now.”

Steve grimaced.  “Okay, okay--you’re right.  I’m not exactly innocent in this whole thing.”

“Which is the best part,” Clint exclaimed.  “Think about it, Cap.  You’ve been playing by the rules your whole life.  Then with the kids, you’ve put yourself last.  Now that they’re older, and you’re not exactly getting any younger… it’s about time you had a little fun.  It’s not like you’re the one who’s married.”

“Do not encourage him,”  Natasha said to her husband agitatedly.  She turned to Steve. “You of all people know how hard it is to find out that you spouse is cheating and--”

“And Sunset could use a taste of her own medicine.” Clint cut in.  “I mean, come on!  She didn’t exactly handle the whole thing with grace.  She leaked the story to any news outlet or tabloid that would listen.  She gave interviews about how she and Tony were ‘meant to be’ before you two were even divorced.  Sunset went out of her way to make your life miserable.”

Natasha gave Clint a quick swat to the forearm. “Steve… what she did was wrong, but do you really want to swoop to her level?  I mean--do you even _want_ to get back with Tony?  After everything that happened, being with someone new would probably do you some good.”

Steve shrugged. “The devil you know is better than the devil you don’t, right?”

“That is not a good enough reason to get back together with him.  If it doesn’t work out with the new guy, then fine.  But you shouldn’t get back with Tony just because you’re afraid of getting hurt,” Natasha said, shooting Clint a warning glare.  She was practically begging him to challenge her.  

Clint sighed in defeat. “She’s right, man.  If you were actually interested for the right reasons, I’d be all for it, but… you shouldn’t get back with him because he’s ‘the devil you know.’”

Steve raised his eyebrows slightly. “Yeah, I guess.  I don’t know.  I haven’t properly dated anyone in over five years, and now… it’s more _intimidating_ than I remembered it.  It was just so _easy_ when Tony and I first met. Now it’s just… confusing.”

“At risk of being repetitive, allow me to reiterate,” Natasha said. “It’s probably because he’s married to someone else now.”

Clint gave a small laugh. “That does tend to complicate things, dude.”

Steve hung his head in defeat. “Yeah, you’re not wrong about that.  I just--is it terrible that I miss him?”

“Of course not, but I mean even if you two were to try it again, you’d have to do _everything_ all over.” Clint said as he took another sip of coffee.  “I mean, think about it for a minute.  You two wouldn’t just get married again; you’ve barely even spoken to each other in the past five years.  You’d have to do the whole dating process again and then what if it doesn’t work out?  Thats one hell of a rollercoaster to put the kids on, man.”

Natasha gave a half shrug.  “I’m with Clint on this one.  If you and Tony do the whole dating thing again and it doesn’t work out, I can’t imagine that will be easy on Ant, Steph, and Talia.  That’s a big risk to take, Steve.”

Steve sighed. “You’ve got a point.  I honestly didn’t take that into consideration.”

“Yeah, you may wanna think about that,” Clint said before perking up. “Is that Ant over there?”

Steve’s eyes widened.  There at the counter with Wanda, stood Ant.  While Steve wasn’t sure what the nature of his son’s relationship with Wanda was, he wasn’t sure if she should be taking him to work.  However, Steve was impressed by Wanda’s ability to ignore Ant to the best of her ability and focus on work.  Ant was talking her ear off, while Wanda was taking orders and running them to tables.  Steve was… glad that they didn’t appear too serious.

Wanda must have noticed Steve looking, because she smiled and waved to him before she nudged Ant and nodded in Steve’s direction.  Steve saw Ant’s cheerful expression fade as he noticed him and walked over to his father, embarrassment written on his face.

“Hey, Pops, Aunt Natasha, Uncle Clint.  I didn’t realize this was your coffee morning.”  He scratched the back of his head, looking back at Wanda.

Clint snorted. “Well believe me, we didn’t realize that you were gonna be here on a date.  Does it count as a date if she’s working for your family at the same time?  Or is that some sort of--”

Natasha nudged him with her elbow. “Ignore your Uncle Clint, Ant.  However, I am very overdue for a hug from my favorite nephew.”

Ant smiled as Natasha stood up and pulled him in for a hug.  It was funny seeing how short she was in comparison to Ant, who was not very tall to begin with.  When she finally let go, she smiled. “How are you doing, kid?  We can’t wait to come to your graduation party this weekend!  Is _Wanda_ going to be there?”

Ant blushed, looking at his feet. “I mean yeah--she and her brother.  We’re all friends, we’ve been friends for years.  No big deal.”

Steve smiled, “They’re just teasing, kiddo.  Don’t let us interrupt your… _non-date_.  We were just leaving anyway… or at least I was.”

“She’s just helping me prep for college interviews.  She used to intern with the guidance office and picked up some good pointers,” Ant explained. “It’s not a date or anything.”

Steve sighed. “Well, it’s reassuring to know that the guidance office in the public school could have prepared you just as well as that boarding school timezones away, but hey, to each his own.  Call me if you need a ride home, alright?  Be smart, don’t do anything dumb.”

“I’m in a bakery filled with my Pop’s friends… I don’t think I’d be able to get into any trouble if I wanted to,” Ant said, casting another look back over to Wanda. “I’ll see you guys later.”

Natasha smiled as Ant walked away. “Wow.  That kid is _all_ Tony.  Seriously, are we sure there was a surrogate and that he’s not just a clone, because he’s literally Tony’s mini-me.  Plus he’s got the charisma and charm… you’re gonna have your hands full with that one.”

Steve put his arms out before smirking. “Yeah, tell me about it.  I’m gonna head back home, and get some much needed cleaning done before I have to go get the girls.  I’ll see you this weekend?  At Ant’s thing?”

"Wow, that’ll be something to see.  You, Tony, and Sunset all under the same roof,” Clint said as Steve began walking off. “There’s no way we’re missing that.”

Steve smiled and shook his head. “Yeah it should be interesting, especially since I’m probably bringing Bucky.”

“I’ll be sure to bring the popcorn then,” Natasha teased as Steve left the bakery.

* * *

 

When Steve got home, he had barely began cleaning when he heard incessant knocking on the front door.  Steve walked out of the kitchen and opened his door to see Tony standing there.  His heart sank.  After his talk with Clint and Nat, he realized that things were not going to be easy with Tony, and he still had a lot to think about.

“Tony, this isn’t a good ti--” Steve began.

“I’m leaving her.”  Tony said, a smile making its way onto his face.  “I’m doing it, Steve.  I’m leaving.  We can be together just like we used to.  Remember Paris?  We should go back there! I never got around to selling that apartment, let’s go!  We can bring the kids, show them where you and I used to live, where things finally started to work for us.   We can show them that culinary school you attended and all that stuff.  We’ll get you some sedatives, so the flight won’t be too harsh on you.  What do you say?”

Steve stood there in shock, his mouth hanging open slightly.  Was this real life?  Was Tony really standing here in front of him, telling him that he was leaving Sunset, and wanted to run away to Paris? “Are you serious?  Tony, I need to know, because if you’re not sure--”

“I’m sure.  I’m leaving her, Steve!  It’s gonna be you and me, just like old times.  Just the way it should b--”

Steve couldn’t contain himself as he lunged towards his ex-husband, crushing their lips together.  This was all Steve ever wanted--for Tony to choose their family instead of another.  This is what he had been waiting for, for over five years.  To have Tony standing here in front of him telling him that it was finally over with Sunset and that he was coming home… it was the best news he could have possibly received.

Tony smiled, kissing him back as he led Steve up the steps to Steve’s--no, _their_ \-- bedroom.  Steve could barely contain his excitement as they made their way over to the bed.  All he could think about was the first time they had gotten around to this.  They were in Paris, he had been out of the coma for a few weeks, and the two of them were overjoyed for Steve to get the all clear to spend the night in the apartment and not the clinic.  It was amazing and Steve had never felt so …. _loved_.  

This afternoon was no different.  Maybe they weren’t in Paris, but it meant just as much.  Tony was finally coming home to him, and Steve didn’t realize until now that this was what he wanted all along.  He wanted Tony and he wanted their family back.  If they could find their way back to each other, they could certainly make it work for the long term.  

Steve wasn’t sure how long it took for them to finish, but it was amazing.  Probably the best sex they’d ever had… which should have been Steve’s first clue that it was the last time they would ever do this.  But as he was slipping in a postcoital sleep all he could think about was that this was where he was supposed to be… in Tony’s arms, in the house that they once shared together.  How could he have ever wanted anything else?

The last thing Steve remembered before falling asleep were the words, “I love you,” falling off his lips into Tony’s ears.  He meant it too, of course.  He wasn’t really sure if he had ever _stopped_ loving Tony.  The world around him turned dark, as he fell into the the most restful sleep he had had in ages.

* * *

 

Steve’s eyes shot open as he phone began buzzing.  He rolled over, “Tony, do you see my phon--” But Tony wasn’t next to him.  Steve shot up and answered his cell, which was on the floor with his clothes.

“Hello?”

"Hey, Stevie,” Bucky’s voice echoed on the other end of the phone. “Great news, I just got off the phone from Sam and he says we can start construction as early as next week.”

Steve stumbled as he put his clothes on, searching the house for Tony.  “Wow, that’s awesome.  Look, now’s not really a good--”

“Before I forget, I’m really looking forward to Friday, and that party on Saturday.  Which reminds me, is there a dress code?  I’m not really sure what to wear,” Bucky asked, his nervousness evident over the phone. “If I’m meeting your kids for the first time, I want it to go well.”

Steve raced down the steps, maybe Tony was helping himself to a snack or something. “Bucky, I’ve got to be honest with you… I’m not even sure what I’m gonna wear yet.  Maybe we can discuss it Friday?  Don’t go crazy and buy something though that would be… unnecessary.  Look, I hate to rush you off the phone, but I’m dealing with some… family stuff right now.  I’ll call you later, I promise.”

“Is everything okay?” Bucky asked. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”

Steve sighed, looking through the empty first floor of his house. “I’m sure it’s nothing.  I promise I’ll call you later.  I really want to talk to you about something, but now’s not a good time.  I’m sorry.”

“No worries,” Bucky said. “Call me when you’re free.  I hope everything’s okay.”

Steve said a quick goodbye before hanging up and searching the house.  Where was Tony?  Why would he leave if they were getting back together?  He certainly wouldn’t need to keep up his appearances with Sunset if he was leaving her.  So where was he?

Steve looked out the window.  Tony’s car was gone.  He wasn’t here.  Where was he?  Steve frantically called Tony’s phone four times before he finally got an answer.  He almost wished it had gone to voicemail again, because Sunset answered the phone.

“Steve?  Is everything alright?” He heard Sunset’s voice. “Tony’s in the shower right now, is it something with the kids?”

Steve froze.  What was he supposed to say?  If Tony was there… with _her_ … it was clear that he wasn’t leaving Sunset, and Steve had just been an idiot by letting Tony back into his life.  But what was he supposed to tell Sunset?

“Steve?” She asked again.

“H-hi.  Hi.  Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you…I was just drawing a blank on what to get Ant for a graduation present, and I was hoping that Tony had some ideas.  You can just have him call me back whenever.  It’s no rush,”  Steve lied, hating himself even more, because despite everything he was still protecting Tony… he was _lying_ for Tony.

“Um… okay,” he could practically hear the judgment in Sunset’s voice. “He should be out soon, I’ll have him call you back, I guess, but I’m pretty sure he’s just going to write a check so he can use it on books or stuff for the dorm.”

“Dorm?”  Steve asked, “Ant’s not even sure where he’s going yet?”

“Oh,” she sounded surprised, “Well Tony told me that he was very interested in Harvard and that the interview went really well, and he practically just had to sign some paperwork.  I may have gotten that wrong, though.  I have to be honest, Tony’s been telling me about so many colleges that interested in Anthony’s impressive academic career, I could be mistaken.”

“Right,” Steve said slowly, “Oh before I forget.  Tell Tony someone called from a real estate agency in France.  For some reason they still have my name on the deed, but tell him that he should just go ahead and sell the apartment in Paris, I’ll sign whatever he needs me to, so we can just get rid of that old place once and for all.”

"Sure,” she said, sounding even more puzzled than before, “I’ll relay the message.”

“Thanks.” Steve hung up the phone before calling Natasha.

She answered on the first ring, “Hey, everything oka--”

“I messed up, Nat,” Steve said. “I need you to do me a favor.  Can you take the kids tonight? I--I don’t know what I’m gonna do.”

“Steve, calm down,” she said authoritatively. “What is going on?”

“I should have listened to you,” Steve said, “but I was… dumb.  Tony came over here, and he said we was leaving her, but I should have known better.  He’s there with her right now.  I’m such an idiot.  I just… I need the house tonight.”

“Clint will pick up the kids.  No problem.  But Steve, I’m going to need to tell them something.  The last time you did this was… five years ago… which is no coincidence might I add.” She paused. “I’m coming over there, you shouldn’t be alon--”

“Nat, I appreciate it, but I just… need space.”  Steve sighed. “I feel like such a moron.”

He heard Natasha audibly exhale before muttering, “ _I’m going to murder Tony for this_.  Steve, don’t do anything stupid.”

“Noted.  Thanks, Natasha, I really appreciate this.”  Steve glanced around the house.  It felt even emptier than before.

“Of course.  We love the kids, it’d be our pleasure.  Just… take care of yourself.  You have a tendency to be reckless when you’re upset,”  Natasha said.

“I’ll control myself.  Thanks again, Nat.”  Steve hung up the phone.  Not a moment after he hung up, he saw Tony’s number flash up on his screen.  

Steve answered the phone, anger radiating off of him, “Stark.”

“Steve, let me explain--”

“I really don’t want to hear it.”

“I just had to get everything figured out.  I haven’t even seen the divorce attorney yet--”

“Well that doesn’t mean _anything_ , Tony.  When you left me, you didn’t care about any of that.  When the story broke, you didn’t even come home until the next day.  You didn’t need to keep up appearances _with me_.  You didn’t care if I knew when you were _with her_ after that.  So why would it make any difference now.  Unless you’re not leaving her, which to be honest, Tony, I don’t think you are.  I hope you two are very happy together, because I’m doing something that I should have done five years ago… I’m ending it, Tony.  Don’t call me, don’t text me, unless it is a dire emergency regarding our children.  You and I… we’re through.  Fool me once, shame on you.  Fool me twice shame on me.  Well guess what, I gave you a second chance, Stark, and you blew it.  By the way, you better sell that godforsaken apartment in Paris, because that was _ours_.  Don’t you dare tell me that you brought her--”

“Steve, I didn’t.  You’re right it’s ours… but I think you’re overreacting--”

Steve hung up the phone, throwing it onto the floor.  He was _done_.  It was probably the first time he ever felt that way, though.  While he was sad--no, _devastated_ \--there was actually a sense of liberation too.  He was free of Tony.  He was still hurt and less than happy, but he _knew_ it was over.  There was no chance of them coming back from this.  He loved Tony, and part of him always would, but he gave him a second chance… and Tony had proven that he hadn’t changed.

Steve decided to just finish cleaning.  It helped take his mind off of Stark, at least for a little while.  Steve felt so _stupid_.  Usually what he would do is start baking but… Paris was the last thing he wanted to think about.  

Suddenly, he felt a cold chill work it’s way up his spine.  He gasped for air--no-- this couldn’t be happening.  He had gone _five years_ without having an incident.  He couldn’t believe that Tony could still affect him this way.  Without thinking, he picked his phone up off of the ground and began dialing.

“Steve, is everything okay?”  Bucky answered, “I was worried.  I had half a mind to just drive over there to be sure.”

“Can you come over tonight?  I know it’s last minute and I’m going to be honest, I’m just planning on ordering a pizza, but… I don’t want to be alone right now.  My shrink said this happens, some residual PTSD from the coma, sometimes I get… down and I shouldn’t be alone.”  It wasn’t a lie.  Usually Steve was able to muscle through, but he needed someone tonight.  For some reason, it felt natural to call Bucky, he didn’t even consider asking anyone else to come over.

“Yeah, of course.  I’ll be there in a little while. I understand,” Bucky said. “I’ll be there soon.”

Steve exhaled, trying to regulate his breathing and calm down. “Thank you--it means a lot.”

“Don’t mention it.  Just stay there, I’ll be over as soon as I can.  I’ll pick up the pizza and everything.  Just… take care of yourself… don’t do anything stupid until I get there.”

Steve nodded before responding. “Yeah--yeah.  I’ll stay put.”

“Alright,”  Bucky said. “I’ll be over there ASAP.  I just have to finish up something here, quick, and I’ll be right over,  I promise.”

“Thank you,”  Steve said, rubbing his forehead, “It means a lot.”

“Of course,” Bucky said softly, “I’m gonna hang up now, call me if you need anything before I get there, yeah?  I’ll make sure I answer.”

Steve focused on his breathing again, “Ye-yeah.  I’ll call you.”

“Promise?” Bucky insisted.

"Yeah, I--I promise.”  Steve said, making his way out of the kitchen.  It wasn’t a good idea for him to be around the counters.  He had a tendency to pass out when he got like this.  The kitchen was far from the safest place for him to be.

 He heard Bucky exhale again. “I’ll be there soon.”

Steve didn’t respond, he just listened to the ‘click’ of Bucky’s phone.  He walked over to the couch and sat down.  He put his head between his legs and took deep breaths.  He hadn’t had an incident like this since the divorce.  His hands were shaking, he felt like he was drowning, and he began to shiver.  It was always like this.  It felt like he was back in the ocean… dying.  Steve never really understood why he was affected this way.  

He didn’t even remember drowning--or well, almost drowning.  He couldn’t remember _anything_ that happened on that plane all those years ago.  His shrink--or _former_ shrink, considering that he hadn’t been to an appointment in nearly ten years--said it was his subconscious bringing those memories up to the surface.  Steve never really put much faith in psychology, but it made some sense.

Steve wasn’t sure how long he was sitting there for, trying to catch his breath.  He was relieved when he _finally_ heard knocking at the door.  Steve stumbled over to the door, opening it.  Bucky was standing there holding the box of pizza.

“Shit, Steve.  Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look too good,”  Bucky said as Steve let him in the house.  “You should really sit down or something.”  Bucky placed the pizza down on the table in the living room as he helped Steve make his way back over to the couch.  “Does this happen a lot?”

Steve shook his head, “N-n-no.  Usually, I--I--I,”  he shivered, “I haven’t had an incident in f-five years.”

Bucky nodded, as he began rubbing Steve’s back soothingly.  He began glancing around the room. “Is there a blanket or something?  You’re shivering like crazy.”

“Yeah, I’ll go get--”

“No way, Steve,” Bucky said sternly. “Tell me where it is.  I’ll get it for you.”

Steve motioned to the closet by the steps, “There sh-should be some in th-th-there.”

“Okay.” Bucky stood up. “I’m gonna get you the blanket, and then I’ll be right back.  Do you need anything else?  Water--or something to eat?”

Steve shook his head, “N-n-no.  I-I’m just so c-c-cold.”

Bucky rummaged through the closet, searching for a blanket.  Steve was just trying to stay conscious for the time being.  He made sure to take deep breaths.  Within seconds Bucky raced over to him, wrapping the blanket around Steve.

“Is that a little better?”  Bucky asked as he resumed rubbing Steve’s back.

Steve nodded as his shivering began to die down.  He knew that he wasn’t _physically_ cold, that it was all in his head, but the blanket did seem to work. “Yeah,” he sighed as he began breathing normally again, “Yeah--it’s helping.”

Steve heard Bucky give a sigh of relief, as he placed small kisses to the top of Steve’s head.  “Do you have any instant hot chocolate or coffee or something?” Bucky asked. “It may help warm you up a little bit more.  Or do you not believe in instant, since they taught you how to make the good stuff in France?”

Steve chuckled weakly. “Hot chocolate is just warm milk and chocolate syrup, I hardly needed to learn that in F-France.  But, there should be s-s-some mix in the cabinet.  My kids don’t have the patience to make anything th-th-themselves.”

Bucky gave one last kiss to the top of Steve’s head, before making his way into the kitchen.  Steve heard him heating up some water and looking through the cupboard for some hot chocolate mix.  

“Found it!”  Bucky called out after a few minutes, “It was behind a bunch of seasonings that I’ve never heard of.”

Steve smiled softly as Bucky brought the drink over to him.  “Drink up, Stevie.  We need to warm you up.”

Steve sipped the beverage slowly, trying his best not to burn himself.  “Thank you, Buck.  I appreciate all this.”

Bucky nodded, “Of course. I’m gonna get us some pizza, and maybe we’ll watch a movie or something.”

"Yeah,” Steve sighed, “yeah, that sounds like a good idea.”

Bucky stood up again, grabbing the pizza.  “Do you have any paper plates?”

“Maybe?  I don’t know.  Honestly, we can just use napkins or the real plates.  It doesn’t matter,” Steve said, wrapping the blanket even tighter around himself.  He was trying his best to stay warm and keep the chills at bay.

Bucky quickly brought over some pizza.  He had chosen to use the real plates.  “Do you want me to put on a movie or something?”

Steve shrugged. “Put on what you want.  I’m fine with whatever. Feel free to help yourself to anything.  I really can’t thank you enough for coming over here.”

Bucky smiled softly.  “Don’t mention it, Steve.”  He turned on the TV, and began searching through the channels until he settled on _Pearl Harbor_.  “Do you mind if we watch this?  I know I’m like a walking cliche, an army vet who likes war movies.”

“It’s fine,” Steve said as Bucky wrapped his right arm around his shoulders, and Steve found himself leaning against the other man’s chest.  “I actually really like this movie.  I guess that makes us both cliches.”

Bucky gave a soft hum as he took Steve’s hand in his own, tracing circles on the back of his hand.  It was so soft and _so_ relaxing.  Bucky started kissing the top of Steve’s head again and Steve felt like he was melting into Bucky’s touch.  His breathing was back to normal, he was nice and warm again.  He felt safe.

Steve felt his eyelids becoming heavy.  He tried to keep sleep at bay, but he knew it was no use.  To say he had an exhausting day would be an understatement.  Steve tried his best to focus on the movie but it wasn’t long until the world around him became black and all he could comprehend was Bucky’s fingers clinging to his own.

* * *

When Steve woke up, he was in the exact same position he was when he fell asleep.  He was leaning against Bucky, their hands still intertwined.  Steve looked at the time.  It was ten AM.  He couldn’t remember the last time he slept until ten AM.  He looked to the other man, who was still asleep.  Steve tried to move without waking Bucky, but he was unsuccessful.

“Morning,” Bucky groaned as he detached himself from Steve.

Steve yawned. “I’m sorry, you really didn’t have to stay here all night.  I can’t imagine you were comfortable.”

Bucky shrugged. “What are you kidding?  There was no way in hell I was gonna leave after everything last night.  If I left and you started having another episode, I wouldn’t be able to forgive myself.  Besides, this couch is more comfortable than my mattress.”

“Thanks,” Steve said, standing up.  “I’ll make us some breakfast?”

Bucky snorted. “Or I could take you out for breakfast.  I promise not to take you to your own bakery this time around.”

“No, you’ve already done enough.  I can make you anything you want.  An omelette, waffles, french toast, pancakes, eggs.  Anything you want. Oh, I make some really good scone--” Steve was cut off by Bucky pressing his lips against his.

"Steve,” Bucky smiled, pulling away from him. “You just had one hell of a night.  Let me just take you out.”

Steve looked down. “You’ve already done so much.”

“Please,” Bucky rolled his eyes. “All I did was bring over pizza, and make you instant hot chocolate.  It’s not some big burden that you’re making it out to be.”

 Steve sighed, “I like cooking for yo--”

“And I like eating your cooking, but it’s about time we went on a proper date.  I mean unless, you don’t want that… and I can go,” Bucky suggested.

“Fine,” Steve relented. “If it’s that important to you, we can go out but… you’re probably going to need a change of clothes.  I’m sure I’ve got something that’ll fit you.”

Bucky laughed, looking at the wrinkled clothes that he slept in.  “Yeah, that actually sounds like a pretty good idea.”

Steve ran up the steps and found some old clothes for Bucky.  He changed into some fresh clothing of his own and brushed his teeth, before grabbing a spare toothbrush.  He ran back downstairs to Bucky, who was still sitting in the living room.

“Here you go.” Steve handed Bucky the clothes, toothbrush and toothpaste.  “You can get ready in the bathroom over there.”  He motioned towards the restroom near the kitchen. “If the clothes don’t fit I can find something else.”

Bucky took the pile from Steve’s hands. “Thanks.  I’m sure they’ll be fine.”  He walked into the bathroom. “I’ll be right out.”

Steve watched Bucky close the door, before giving a sigh of relief.   _Bucky had stayed._  The pair hadn’t even done anything and yet, Bucky had stayed the whole night in an uncomfortable position just because he _cared_.  Steve wasn’t sure what he had ever done to be so lucky--to have been able to find this man.  He barely even knew Bucky and yet he _knew_.  He knew he was falling in love with him.  He couldn’t believe that less and twenty-four hours ago, he was so eager to just get back with Tony.  How could he had been so stupid?

Bucky had raced over in record time when he thought Steve was in trouble.  Bucky had stayed the whole night just holding Steve, and _still_ wanted to take him to breakfast.  Steve wanted _this_.  He wanted to be able to take care of Bucky the way that Bucky had taken care of _him_.  He wanted nothing more than to come home to this incredible man every night.  He was almost considering sending Tony a thank you note for prompting his anxiety attack.  Without it, he wasn’t sure things would have happened the way they did.  With Bucky.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [ Tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, guys! I was really sick, and I had family in from out of town! But I'm back! This chapter has a lot of Stucky fluff, so I hope you enjoy!

The rest of the week was like a dream.  The kids were on their best behavior, Natalia was even starting to like fencing, and when Steve wasn’t cleaning out the house in preparation for the renovations, he was talking with or seeing Bucky.  The bakery was getting more customers than usual, and he was pretty sure that he’d have to hire some more help soon.  He honestly, couldn’t recall a time when he was happier.

Granted, it had only been a few days since his meltdown, but Steve was _happy_.  He couldn’t remember the last time he wasn't just going through the day for the sake of his kids, but actually enjoying himself.  He hadn’t heard from Tony since the phone call and Steve wanted to keep it that way. Unfortunately, that would be much easier said than done.

The graduation party was only a few days away, which meant that Steve would have to see both Tony _and_ Sunset.  To say that he wasn’t looking forward to it would be the understatement of the century.  Things were just starting to go well, but bringing Bucky to the graduation party meant introducing him to the kids and having to spend an extended amount of time with _both_ Tony and Bucky simultaneously.  Steve couldn’t see that going over well no matter how hard he tried.

Luckily for him, he didn’t have to worry about that at the moment.  It was Friday, and Steve was going to go over to Bucky’s place to start his cooking lessons.  Steve was definitely glad to share this part of him with the other man.  Baking had been such an important part of his life.  It was nice that Bucky was taking an interest.

* * *

It was Steve’s first time going to Bucky’s apartment.  To say he was a little nervous would be pretty accurate.  Steve didn’t care much about the little details, but working in a kitchen that he had never even seen before… that made him anxious.  The kitchen was Steve’s safe place, and he wasn’t even sure if Bucky had a gas or electric stove.  He usually wasn’t high maintenance, but he had certainly become spoiled between the kitchen in the bakery and his kitchen at home.

Steve put Bucky’s address into his GPS and made his way over to the apartment.  It wasn’t too far, maybe ten minutes away.  It was actually pretty close to the trail he ran with Sam.  He wondered if that was how Bucky and Sam met in the first place.

He made his way over to Bucky’s apartment.  Bucky’s place was essentially the first floor of a small house. Steve assumed that someone else rented the upstairs apartment.  He found it kind of ironic; Bucky spent his life designing other people’s houses, yet he was renting _half_ of someone else’s house.

Steve rang the doorbell, anxiously waiting for Bucky to answer.  He was eager to see him again.  Before long, Bucky opened the door and greeted Steve with a quick kiss.

“Hey, I was just cleaning up a little bit.”  Bucky showed Steve inside and Steve had to stop himself from laughing.  The apartment was small, but not too small.  Perfect for one person.  From the doorway Steve could see the kitchen and the living room.  There was a small hall which Steve assumed led to the bedroom and bathroom.  But the reason Steve had to keep from laughing is because it certainly didn’t look like anyone had done any sort of cleaning.  There was clutter all over the place.

“I know it’s not much,” Bucky began.

“I love it,”  Steve said quietly. “It reminds me of the place my ma and I used to live in, back in Brooklyn.  But your place is a little bigger.  It’s… great.”

Bucky snorted, “Really?  Because you’re paying me to make your already big house even bigger.  I can’t imagine _this_ being anything _close_ to ideal for you.”

“I’m not expanding because of the _size_ ,”  Steve explained. “I’m expanding to make the place more… _mine_.  It still looks the same when it did when Tony picked everything out fifteen years ago.  It’s not _my_ house… and I want it to be.”

“You ever hear of redecorating?”  Bucky teased, nonchalantly taking Steve’s hand in his prosthetic one and leading him into the kitchen.

Steve shrugged. “It’s not the same.  I tried that.  The whole place just _screams_ ‘Tony.’  I figured this was the better alternative.”

“Hey, I’m not complaining.  I’ll take the money you’re spending for a ridiculous reason any day of the week.  It’s in the job description.  So…” He motioned to the small kitchen area, “This is it.  I got some supplies and stuff, but I wasn’t really sure what to get.”

Steve smirked.  “You’ve got a frying pan?”  

Bucky nodded.

“Any oil?”

He nodded again.

Steve smiled. “I brought over some chicken cutlets.” He raised the plastic bag in his hand.  “I figured we’d start simple with frying.  It’s easy, and you can fry just about anything.  It’s an easy way to quit eating from a can without having to do too much work.”

Bucky’s eyes lit up. “Now you’re speaking my language.  Easy, is definitely good in this case.”

Steve motioned to the fridge. “Do you have any Italian dressing or bread crumbs or anything?”

Bucky rubbed the back of his neck. “I definitely don’t have breadcrumbs, but I may have some Italian Dressing in the fridge.  I’ll go check.”

Steve watched as he began setting up the oil.  He put the frying pan on the stove as he poured some of the canola oil onto into it.  He turned on the gas and raised the heat in order to get the oil to heat up quickly.

Bucky walked back over to the counter, holding the dressing in his hand. “Here you go.”

“You should put some in a ziploc bag, and let the chicken marinate in there for a little while,” Steve said, handing Bucky the bag of chicken. “It adds nice flavor, and again it’s easy.  Usually the longer you marinate it the better, but for the purposes of today, it doesn’t need to soak too long.”

Bucky nodded as he followed Steve’s orders, emptying the mostly empty bottle of Italian dressing into a bag, and putting some of the chicken in there.  “It’s not all gonna fit in here, Steve.”

“You can freeze it, and then you can use it another night,” Steve suggested. “Just make sure you remember to defrost it.”

Bucky obeyed, putting the remaining chicken in the freezer.  He looked up at Steve. “What now?”

Steve sighed, “Well, we need the oil to heat up some more, and the longer the chicken marinates the better, so now we wait for a little bit.  If you had breadcrumbs, you could bread the chicken while you waiting for the oil to heat up.  They can also help lock the dressing in without needing it to marinate for too long, but it’s not necessary.  Just a suggestion for the future.”

Bucky smirked. “In the meantime, can you help me decide on what you wear to your son’s party tomorrow?  I don’t want to make a bad first impression--or second impression?  I don’t know whether or not to count when he and your ex interrupted our first ‘date’.”

“Sure.”  Steve shrugged.  “I don’t see why not.  It’s better than just waiting around for the oil to heat up.”

Bucky began leading Steve down the hall.  He opened the door to the bedroom.  The walls were bare, clothes were thrown around, and there was a small TV across from the unmade bed.  “Sorry, I didn’t think to clean up in here.”

It didn’t bother Steve.  The whole place felt reminiscent of where he grew up, and once his ma got sick, Steve hardly had any time for cleaning.  “It’s fine.  Again, it’s kind of nice.”

Bucky gave Steve a look, before opening his closet.  He took out a button-down shirt and some black slacks, “I figured this was a safe bet?  Or is it too generic?  I don’t want your kids thinking I’m some stick in the mud or something.”

“I’ll probably wear something like that.  You don’t have to get all dressed up though.  It’s not--”

“Don’t say it’s not a big deal,” Bucky said warningly. “I’m meeting your kids and your friends for the first time.  I’m not about to show up in sweats.”

Steve chuckled. “I was just going to say that it wasn’t too formal, but I’m _flattered_ that you want to make a good impression.”

Bucky’s expression softened as he began to smile. “Damn right, I want to make a good impression.”  He pecked Steve’s lips again, lingering a little longer than last time.  “So this outfit is fine?”

Steve nodded, smiling brightly, “Yeah, the outfit’s good, Buck.”

Bucky put the clothes back in the closet.  When Steve began to panic, he forgot that he had left the stove temperature on ‘High’.

“Bucky--the oil!”  Steve raced out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, Bucky following not far behind.  He went over to the stove and watched as the oil bubbled and splattered all over the place.  Steve turned the stove off, but the hot oil splattered all over him, sending a searing pain through his body.

“Crap!” Steve’s shirt was practically drenched in the hot oil.  Without even thinking, Steve ripped his shirt off, desperate to get the heated liquid off of him.  He began to calm down as his skin began to cool thanks to the draft in the apartment.

“Steve,”  Bucky said frantically, “Steve, holy crap, we’ve got to get you to a hospital, those burns look bad.”

Steve looked down at his torso confused.  He saw the pinkish marks that ran all over his chest.  Then he began laughing. “No, it’s okay.  Most of these are old.  Apparently, jet fuel leaves some nasty scars.”

“Shit,” Bucky said taking a deep breath. “Those are all from your accident--that was years ago.”

Steve nodded, catching his breath, “Yeah.  I used to have a lot more apparently, but Tony had some plastic surgeon take care of some of them while I was… passed out.  I figured there was no reason getting these taken care of because they’re not usually visible… you know with my…clothes on.”

“Shit,”  Bucky reiterated. “God, how did you _survive_ that?”

“The wonders of modern medicine and… Stark money, apparently.”  Steve said, looking down at his scars.  They really did look awful, the reddish wounds that covered his flesh were a reminder of all that had happened so long ago.

Again Bucky whispered, “Shit,”  as he grabbed a towel from one of the closets and walked over to Steve.  He began wiping the excess oil off. “I swear to god,” he muttered. Steve wasn’t sure if he was even addressing him or just talking to himself. “I would massacre whoever did this to you.”

Steve chuckled. “They were technically self-inflicted.  I probably should have taken more piloting lessons, but in my defense, I didn’t know I’d need th-them.”

Bucky was softly caressing some of this scars as he wiped the remaining oil away.  Steve froze.  It felt so… _nice_.  He had to stop a moan from escaping his lips as Bucky continued to remove the oil.

“Is this okay?”  Bucky asked, looking up at Steve as he continued to run his hands along the old blemishes.

“Ye-yeah,” Steve said, closing his eyes. “It’s- it’s nice.”

Finally Bucky brought the towel up near Steve’s neck, while his right hand was still massaging one of Steve’s scars.  Steve took the towel away and tossed it on the counter before he wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck and kissed him passionately--no, _hungrily_.  Bucky’s hands were still on his torso and soon he was lifting Steve up on to the counter for better leverage.

Eagerly, Steve went to tug off the other man’s shirt when Bucky stopped him, pulling away.  “S-Sorry, Steve,” he said, trying to catch his breath, “I just don’t want us to rush into anything too soon.  I mean we’ve only been seeing each other for a couple of weeks, I’m not even sure if you want to be...”  He looked away from Steve. “I’ll get you a shirt.”

Steve hopped off the counter, confused.  He wasn’t upset--he wasn’t exactly thrilled either, but he was… touched.  He had never really taken anything slow.  Tony was his only real relationship, and they were the definition of fast--or well as fast as they could be whilst sneaking around.

Bucky returned, handing Steve a shirt. “I hope you’re not up-”

Steve took the shirt before kissing Bucky’s lips sweetly. “Thanks… for everything.  Sorry that I ruined the whole lesson.  For the record, I put the oil on way too high and… you probably shouldn’t do that.”

Bucky laughed as he kissed Steve’s forehead. “Noted. So what do we do with the chicken?”

Steve walked over to the oven and began to preheat it.  “Today, we’ll bake it.  That eliminates the oil hazard.”

Bucky nodded. “Sounds good.  The last thing we need is anyone getting hurt.”

“Bucky,” Steve said quietly, “I--I--I’m not sure what you were gonna say, before but… I want to make it really clear that I want _this_.”  He motioned between the two of them. “If you don’t want to label it… fine… I won’t push it but… not for nothing you’re the only person I’ve ever even considering introducing to my kids and--”

“Steve, are you asking me to be your--”

“Only if you want to be,” Steve said, not meeting Bucky’s eyes.

Bucky kissed the top of Steve’s head again. “Of course I want to be.”

“So is that a yes?”  Steve asked, feeling so small.

“Well are you gonna ask me, or just throw around suggestions?” Bucky teased.

Steve snorted. “You know, you can be a real jerk.”

“Right back at you. You, punk,”  Bucky joked, “I mean if you want me to your boyfriend the least you could do is ask.”

Steve rolled his eyes playfully. “Fine.  Will you be my boyfriend?”

“I thought you’d never ask,” Bucky said, pulling Steve in for a kiss. "That's a yes, by the way."

Steve smiled as he gave Bucky---his _boyfriend_ \--another kiss.  The oven beeped, notifying them that it had reached its ideal temperature.

“So,” Steve said, pulling away, “Now, you’ve got to put the chicken in the oven.  Usually it can take up to thirty minutes to cook, but seeing as I bought them fresh, you’ll probably only need to put them in for fifteen, twenty minutes tops.”

“Or,” Bucky smirked, wrapping his arms around Steve’s waist, “I can just take you out instead, and we can celebrate the beginning of our new relationship?”

Steve laughed as he curled his arms around Bucky’s neck. “Usually, I’d love to, but I’ve got Natalia tonight.  She doesn’t want to help them get the house ready for the party tomorrow, so she gave Tony some excuse that she was helping me make some dessert or something.”

“We could always take her with us?”  Bucky suggested, kissing Steve’s neck.

Steve hummed. “I think the other two would kill me if she got to _officially_ meet you before they did.  Besides, she’s the difficult one, I’m worried she’ll scare you away.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t scare easily.”  Bucky smiled slyly. “Besides, I’ve _unofficially_ met the other two.  I mean your older daughter seems more intense and she didn’t scare me away.”

Steve snorted. “Really?  Because you left pretty quickly after that.”

Bucky frowned. “I really didn’t think it would be appropriate for me to stay.”

“Relax, I’m just pulling your leg,” Steve teased. “I probably would’ve left had the roles been reversed.”

“Yeah right.” Bucky shook his head. “You probably would have stepped in and handled it magnificently.  I would have no idea what to do in that position.”

Steve shrugged. “That’s because you don’t have any kids.”

“I had a dog,”  Bucky said, looking down, “until my asshole for an ex took him.  That was probably the worst thing he could have possibly done, and he just did it for kicks.  He didn’t even like that dog.”

“Do you want me to get it back?  I’ve got some friends in high places that could make that happen, if you wanted,”  Steve suggested seriously.

Bucky snorted. “I’ll keep that in mind, but he was real old, they probably put him down by now.  Anyway, that’s about the extent of my experience raising anything.  Hence me ‘being scared away’ when your daughter showed up.”

“You really don’t need to explain, I was just teasing,” Steve clarified. “I didn’t expect you to just sit around and watch me parent.  Besides she was in… _rare form_ that night.  I’m actually pretty glad that you didn’t have that as your first impression of her.”

“I still don’t understand why I can’t take you and your other daughter to dinner tonight,” Bucky said, resting his forehead against Steve’s.

Steve rolled his eyes. “You’ll meet her tomorrow, I promise.  Her and the other two.”

“Yeah, and all your friends.  Tomorrow night will either be really _good_ or really _bad_ for me.  There will be no in between,” Bucky said.

“Don’t worry about it,” Steve said nonchalantly. “It’s gonna go great.  My friends are just glad that I’m seeing someone, and I’ll keep my kids in line.  You’ve got nothing to worry about.”

Bucky sighed, detaching himself from Steve.  “It’s just-- most people don’t have to meet their boyfriend’s kids, friends, and ex in the same night.”

Steve grimaced. “Yeah.  Sorry about that.”  He looked back to the oven. “In all seriousness, you’re gonna either have to put the chicken in the oven or turn it off.  The last thing you need is a house fire.”

Bucky nodded. “And the last thing that you need is more burns.”  He walked over the oven and placed the chicken inside and set the timer for fifteen minutes.

“Make sure you check it when the timer goes off,” Steve reminded him. “The last thing you want is salmonella poisoning.”

“What, are you leaving already?”  Bucky asked, looking at the clock.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, sorry.  I’ve gotta get Tal and then we’ve got to make dessert for tomorrow.”

Bucky chortled. “I thought you said that was just some lame excuse she gave Stark.”

“It is,” Steve smirked, “but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to put her to work while I’ve got the chance.”

Bucky laughed. “I’ll pick you up tomorrow for the party.”

Steve gave Bucky a quick kiss goodbye, he was almost out the door when he heard Bucky yell out, “Hey, Rogers!  I’m supposed to turn the oven off when I’m done, right?”

Steve shook his head, laughing as he looked back at his boyfriend. “Try your best not to burn the place down!”

“I make no promises, but I’ll do my best.”  Bucky called back as he watched Steve walk to his car.

* * *

Steve drove off to get Natalia, he could feel himself grinning like an idiot the whole way there.  When she exited the building, she made a b line over to the minivan.  She sat next to Steve, zipping up her seat belt.

She looked to him perplexed, “What’s got you so excited?”

“Nothing,” Steve said pulling out of the parking lot, “I’m just glad that you and I are going to spend some quality baking time together.”

Natalia frowned, “Is that a new shirt?”

Steve felt his face begin to flush, “N-no.  I don’t--um-- think so.”

“Really?”  Natalia shrugged, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you wear it before.  It smells like chicken in here.”

“Wow, you’re full of observations today, aren’t you?”  Steve teased, before rapidly trying to change the subject, “How was camp?”

“It was fine, I guess,” She said uninterestedly, “I mean, I didn’t get stabbed too many times today, and I’ve been getting better.  I’m kind of upset the camp is over with.  Are you excited for the party tomorrow?”

Steve sighed, “Yeah, it should be interesting.  I can’t remember the last time I saw _any_ of your dad’s friends so… it should be a nice reunion.”

“Ant said you’re bringing a date.”  Natalia said crossing his arms, “Were you just gonna hide him in the trunk when we drove over there, or were you just hoping I wouldn’t notice him?”

“I was gonna tell you,” Steve groaned, “I just… I wasn’t sure how to tell you.  I _had_ to tell Ant.  It’s _his_ party.”

She rolled her eyes, “What’s his name?  What does he do?  Why haven’t we met him yet?”

Steve smirked, “You want to do this now?  I mean you can ask him yourself tomorrow.”

She tapped her fingers against the glove compartment impatiently, “Answer the questions, Pa.”

Steve chuckled, “Fine.  His name is Bucky, he’s an architect, and the reason you haven’t met him yet is because he and I just became serious today.”

“Is that why you’re wearing his shirt--actually please don’t answer that.” Natalia shuddered.

He teased, “Well if you really wanna know-”

“Pa, stop!  That’s not funny!” Natalia said making an expression of disgust.

Steve snorted,“No, no.  It was a cooking lesson gone wrong.  I spilled stuff all over mine, so he leant me a shirt.  That’s all.  I promise.”

Talia let out a sigh of relief, “ _Thank God!_  I did not need any emotionally scarring mental images.”

“You asked.” Steve joked, “So, I was thinking we could make brownies, cookies, and maybe a few cakes.  I really wanna pull out all the stops.”

She looked to him with a deadpan expression on her face, “Seriously?  I thought you were just gonna pick some stuff up from the bakery.”

“I think you know better than that, squirt.”  Steve said, “Besides, I can always use the extra help, and when you offered-”

“I wouldn’t call it offering--”

“I just thought it presented a lovely opportunity.”  Steve said smugly.

She groaned, “Do I have to?  I just-”

“It’s non-negotiable.  Sorry, squirt.  If you want I can drop you off at your dad’s and then you can help them clean and set up--” Steve suggested.

“No--fine.  I’ll help with the desserts.”  Natalia relented, rolling her eyes.

Steve smiled, he was actually glad to have his youngest daughter’s help.  It had been a while since he was able to just spend some quality time with her.  He worried about her the most of all his kids.  She was the most like him, and while she was the most likely to get into trouble, she was also the one most likely to ignore herself and put others first.  He was glad that he would have at least one of his children under his roof tonight.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to be about it on [Tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys. This chapter was so much fun to write, so it's actually way longer than the previous chapters, hence why it took me so long to edit. I hope you enjoy it!

The next morning was spent finishing up the desserts. Steve and Natalia had made several dozen cookies, cupcakes, brownies, and quite a few cakes.  Once the two had gotten started it had actually turned out to be fun and Natalia even had a good time too.  Whether or not she was going to admit it was another issue altogether.

They woke up early to frost the cupcakes and Steve made some scones for breakfast.  However, despite having a lovely morning with his daughter, Steve couldn’t shake a sense of impending doom.  This was going to be the first time he had seen _any_ of Tony’s friends since the divorce.  Not to mention this would also be the same night that he introduced Bucky to his kids.  Plus, he had no idea how Tony would react to him bringing his new boyfriend.  Sure, Steve had told Ant--and he assumed that Ant had relayed the message, but that didn’t mean that Tony would be mature about it.

As the afternoon progressed, Steve became more and more anxious.  The last time he had seen Tony, things had not gone over too well.  Besides, he wasn’t comfortable being in Sunset’s house after everything that Steve had done _to_ her.  After everything he had done _with_ her husband.

Steve looked over to the liquor cabinet--it had been a long time since he had drank anything too strong.  Besides, Bucky was driving tonight.  He did not want to show up in his red minivan with the flag decal on the back.  He was probably going to be the laughing stock of the whole party anyway, it wouldn’t hurt for him to be _a little_ relaxed.

He opened the cabinet before helping himself to some tequila.  He only poured himself a little.  He wanted to be relaxed not inebriated.  He wasn’t even sure how long it had been since he had any of this.  Most of the liquor was still left over from when Tony was still living there… over five years ago.  However, it wasn’t long before it seemed to be doing the trick.  Everything seemed easier and he definitely wasn’t worried anymore.  In fact, he was getting _excited_ to see everyone.  He hadn’t _technically_ done anything wrong.  Everyone knew that the reason they got divorced was because Tony couldn’t keep it in his pants.  He had nothing to feel anxious about.

* * *

 

It wasn’t long before he heard a knock.  Steve opened the front door to see his boyfriend standing there in the outfit he showed him the day before.  Steve grinned as Bucky entered the house, kissing him on the cheek as he walked by.  

He held up a gift bag, “I--uh got you something.”

Steve was genuinely touched--and embarrassed.  He hadn’t thought to get Bucky anything.  “You shouldn’t have.  I didn’t get--”

Bucky waved dismissively, “Don’t worry about it, just open it.”

He opened the bag, inside there were… curtains.  Steve couldn’t stop himself from laughing. “Curtains? Oh-- Because the sunlight comes in my room too early! I love them!”  He turned to face the other man as he pulled him in for a kiss a bit too passionate for the occasion.  Maybe it was the tequila, but Steve felt overly grateful for the gesture.

Bucky kissed him back and Steve was suddenly considering skipping the whole evening.  All he wanted to do was stay here with Bucky and forget about everything else.  Maybe they could even pick up where they left off the previous day.

Suddenly they were interrupted by a slight shriek from the stairs, “Oh my god! _Pa!_ This is a common living area!  Can you like… not, please?”

Steve bolted away from Bucky, blushing. “Sorry, Tal.  This is um--”

“Yeah, I can tell,” she said, still looking slightly mortified. “Are we leaving soon?   _Please_ tell me that we’re leaving soon.”

Steve shrugged, “Not yet.   _Soon_ , but in a little bit.  If we’re the first ones there it’s just gonna be us and your dad… and Sunset… and Sunset’s family… and I don’t think that’s the best idea.  But, you’ve been asking to meet Bucky all week, and here he is.”  Steve motioned to Bucky excitedly, the effect of the alcohol evident in his behavior.

“I was hoping I wouldn’t meet him like _this_.” Natalia said, walking the rest of the way down the steps, “Some things just can’t be unseen.”

Bucky scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah sorry about that.  I didn’t realize that your… Pops liked curtains so much.”

Natalia’s face showed even more bewilderment, but she outstretched her left arm to shake Bucky’s. “I’m the best one.  You should be thrilled to meet me first.”

Bucky laughed as he shook her hand with his prosthetic one, “It’s an honor.  He talks about you all the time.”  Natalia looked at Bucky, slightly puzzled.  Steve held his breath and prayed she wouldn’t say anything too inappropriate about the arm.  Natalia was not exactly sensitive.

She smiled, meeting Bucky’s eyes. “This is so cool.  This girl at school--Gaby--she’s really nice.  She’s got one of those for her leg.  Her parents were in a car accident, they’re all okay but she lost one of her legs.  Honestly, if I didn’t know any better I wouldn’t be able to tell.  Yours is cooler though.  You can’t even tell when you look at it.  What does it _actually_ look like… you know without it on?”

"Tal!” Steve scolded. “That’s not--”

Bucky laughed. “It’s okay, Steve.  Most kids get a little freaked out.”  He turned back to Natalia.   “Maybe next time I come over, I’ll show you.  I just don’t think now’s a good time. Sometimes it can tricky getting it back on and I kind of don’t want to meet everyone as Bucky the amputee, but Bucky--Steve’s boyfriend.”

Natalia nodded. “That makes sense.  Thanks, though, it looks pretty cool.  I wonder if you can get a bionic one--”

Steve sighed. “Tal, why don’t you get your shoes on? We should start loading all these desserts in the car.”

Natalia went to put on her sneakers and Steve laughed. “Really?  You’re gonna wear a dress and tennis shoes?”

She rolled her eyes. “Seriously, Pa?  You’re giving me fashion advice when the only three colors you’ll wear are red, white, and blue?”

“It’s your brother’s graduation party, Tal.  You can wear nice shoes.”  Steve shook his head at his daughter.

Bucky smirked, whispering in Steve’s ear, “I thought you said it wasn’t that formal.”

He snorted, pecking Bucky’s lips when Natalia wasn’t looking. “It’s not. But she’d wear pajamas and slippers if she had it her way.”

Bucky smiled against Steve’s skin as Natalia walked outside carrying some of the brownies.  “I like her.  She’s practically you, if you were a preteen girl.”

Steve laughed, intertwining his fingers with Bucky’s. “You should probably open up the trunk for her. Unless you left it unlocked.”

“Yeah, I’ll go do that.  Why are we taking my car again?  I don’t mind but we could probably fit the…very large number of sweets better in your van.”  Bucky said, grabbing his keys.

“Because my car is just going to get me made fun of.” Steve pouted, as he picked up one of the cakes.

Bucky chuckled, kissing Steve’s cheek again. “Fair enough.  Are you feeling okay?  You’re acting a little off today.”

Steve smirked as the two of them walked out the door to start loading Bucky’s car with the desserts.  “I… may have had a little something to drink.  For my nerves.  I usually don’t drink but tonight is…giving me a lot of stress.”

“I thought you said I had nothing to worry about,” Bucky teased as he opened the trunk allowing them to place the sweets inside.

“ _You_ don’t.   _I_ do,” Steve said as he placed the cake down. “I haven’t seen most of these people in years, and I don’t like some of them.  I’m sure a few of them are less than happy that I’ll be there.  Plus I never like going to that house.  It just… reminds me of what I don’t have.  Emotionally, I mean… not possessions or anything like that.”

Bucky frowned. “Don’t think like that, then.  It’s your son’s graduation party, just try to think about--”

“He’s going to Harvard and he didn’t tell me,” Steve said quietly. “He’s leaving and hasn’t even told me yet.”

Bucky shrugged. “Maybe he’s not sure yet.  You can’t know that--”

Steve shook his head. “ _Sunset_ knows, but _I’m_ not supposed to.”

Bucky gave him a sympathetic smile as they walked back inside to help Natalia put the rest of the snacks in the car.  “I’m sure he’ll tell you when he’s ready.  Just give it some time.”

He cocked his head to the side. “I hope so.”  Steve smiled, perking up a little bit, “He’s excited to meet you though.  I told him that I was bringing you tonight and he seemed really happy about it.”

“I’m excited too,” Bucky responded, grabbing some cupcakes, “I wasn’t sure you were _ever_ going to let me meet them.”

Steve gave a small smile. “Sorry about that.  I just didn’t know how they would react and--”

“Hey, I get it,” Bucky said, “I’m just glad that you felt comfortable enough to introduce me.”

Steve grinned as they put the last of the sweets in Bucky’s car.  When Natalia entered the back of the car, Steve kissed Bucky again.  He loved how understanding the other man was.  Unfortunately, it wasn’t likely they would get much of any privacy for the rest of the evening, so Steve figured it would be best to take advantage of it while he had the chance.

“How much have you had to drink tonight?  Because you’re particularly affectionate today,” Bucky teased as they broke apart.

“Not that much, I promise,” Steve said, sitting the passenger seat. “I don’t usually drink.”

Bucky took his place in the driver’s seat, and began pulling out of the driveway.  “Okay, just take it easy once we get there.  I think you’ve had enough for the evening.”

“Yeah,” Natalia piped up from the back, “it’s Dad’s job to be the drunken embarrassing one.  We don’t need you to start with that too.”

Steve groaned as he gave a slight laugh, “You better be on your best behavior, squirt.  Be _nice._ Your dad put a lot of work into this party--”

She scoffed. “ _Sunset_ put a lot of work into this party.”

“Regardless, a lot of people are going to be there and I want you to behave,” Steve shot back.

“Fine,” she said, throwing her head back against the seat. “I’ll be good.”

Bucky snorted, looking to Steve, who rolled his eyes. “So,” Bucky said, changing the subject, “Natalia, what grade are you in?”

“I’m going into sixth this September.  It’ll be my first year in the middle school.”

Bucky shrugged. “That must be exciting.  Do you have your schedule yet?”

She shook her head. “No.  We don’t get it until orientation, which is later in the summer.  But Steph and Ant said they’d take me over there for a tour before he goes off to school.”

Steve tensed at the mention of Ant going away.  It seemed that Sunset wasn’t the only one who was told that Ant was not going to be staying local for college.

“That’s cool of them,” Bucky said as they neared Tony’s house.  He looked to Steve with a sympathetic look on his face. “It must be convenient having two older siblings who have gone there already.”

She nodded. “Yeah, it’s helpful.  Plus, Steph and I will be in the same school so… there’s that.”

“Yeah,” Steve chimed in, “and you let me know if she’s being less than friendly.  You know how your sister can be.”

Natalia scoffed, “Don’t worry about that, Pa.  I can handle Steph.”

“I’m sure you can,” Steve said defensively, “I’d just rather handle it.  This way my house doesn’t turn into World War III.”

She rolled her eyes. “ _Fine_ , Pa.  Whatever you say.  I doubt it’ll be necessary.”

They arrived at Tony’s place.  Steve felt a pang of anxiety hit him full force.   _Was it too late to turn around and go home?  Could he fake an illness?_  The last thing he wanted was to walk through those doors and see all those familiar faces that had no desire to see him there.  It had been several years since he had seen most of these people… he had no idea what Tony had told them about the divorce.  For all he knew they could think Steve was at fault.

"You okay?” Bucky asked.  “This is the right house, yes?”

“Yup,” Natalia said unbuckling her seatbelt. “This is Dad’s house.”

Steve took in a deep breath looking back to his sympathetic boyfriend, “I’m fine.  Let’s… get this over with.”

Bucky nodded as he popped the trunk open, so they could bring some of the sweets inside.  Steve walked towards the trunk, trying not to think about the noise they could hear coming from inside the house.  He tried not to think about how many people were in there that would pass judgments on him.  How many people would send nasty looks his way, and make remarks when they thought he was out of earshot?  Normally, things like this didn’t bother him.  People were entitled to their own opinions and Steve was far from perfect… but these people used to be his _family_ , he had lost much more than Tony in the divorce.  These precious friendships that Steve wished he had been able to hold onto.  He wasn’t ready to face _that_ loss.

Steve grabbed some of the desserts as he, Bucky, and Natalia walked up to the front door.  Natalia went to open the door, when Steve rang the doorbell.

His daughter turned to him, a look of exasperation and annoyance on her face. “I _live_ here, you know.  You don’t need to ring the doorbel--”

“No offense, Tal.  You may be able to just walk on in, but I don’t think it’d be very appropriate to walk into my ex-husband’s new house without being invited in first.”

She rolled her eyes. “Are you like a vampire or something?  Because given that I’m your _biological_ daughter, that may be good information for me to know.”

Steve groaned. “Tal, just be patient.  I’m sure someone will answer the door in like two seco--”

"Hi, come on in--” Sunset opened the door.  She paused before plastering a smile on her face, “Oh-- Hi.  You guys didn’t have to ring the bell.”  Her eyes fell on the pastries. “You made dessert?”

"Yeah,” Steve said, “I mentioned it to Tony--”

"Who must have failed to pass the message along to me.” She grimaced. “Thank you, though.  These look _delicious_.”  She took one of the sweets out of Natalia’s hands.

Steve laughed nervously. “We have more in the trunk.”

Her eyes widened slightly. “Um… okay.  I’ll have someone take those inside for you… It’s all in the van?”  Her eyes scanned the large driveway. “Where _is_ the van, exactly?”

Bucky cleared his throat. “We actually brought _my_ car.”  He clicked the unlock button on his car causing the lights to flash. “But I’m sure we could bring it in ourselves--”

“Oh, no!  Don’t worry about that.  We can send some of the help to take care of that.  I’m sorry, I didn’t catch your name,” she said awkwardly.

Steve laughed, embarrassed. “Oh, I’m sorry.  Bucky, this is Sunset… Sunset, this is Bucky my… boyfriend.”

Sunset gave an awkward laugh as she shook Bucky’s hand.  “Nice to meet you, Bucky.  You guys go on in and I’ll… take care of all the dessert.”

Natalia raced inside and it wasn’t long before she was lost in the sea of people.  Steve walked in besides Bucky and looked around awestruck.  Steve had only actually been inside the house once, when the kids were little.  Natalia used to protest by crying all night until Steve picked her up.  One night was particularly bad, Steve had to come in and calm her down before carrying her out to the car.  She was so distraught, she wouldn’t even let Tony bring her outside to him.

The house was quite a sight.  It was large--much larger than Steve’s place.  It had chandeliers and gorgeous paintings… It was _gorgeous_.  Perhaps the most impressive part wasn’t the size, but how despite how large the house was.  It was packed wall-to-wall with people, and all of them were there for Ant.  It definitely inspired pride in Steve seeing how many people were there to support his son.

Steve grabbed Bucky’s hand as they started making their way through the crowd.  The last thing he wanted was for them to get separated.  He didn’t need Bucky getting bombarded with questions when Steve hadn’t even introduced him to two-thirds of his children yet.  

“Steve?” He heard someone ask.  Steve froze, and Bucky bumped into him slightly.  Before him stood Pepper Potts.  She was Tony’s personal assistant… or at least she used to be.  Steve wasn’t sure if she was still working for Tony.

“Hey, Pepper,” Steve smiled as Pepper leaned in for a small hug. “How are you doing?”

She shrugged. “I’m doing well, still working for Tony… how about you?  How’s the bakery?”

“It’s great… everything has been pretty good lately.” He motioned to Bucky, “This is my boyfriend Bucky--Bucky, this is Pepper.  She’s Tony’s personal assistant.”

Bucky laughed as he shook her hand. “I’m so sorry.”

She snorted. “It’s really not as bad as it sounds.  He and I have established a very… understanding working relationship.”

Steve tensed up before saying coldly, “I’m _sure_ you do.” Steve always wondered if Pepper knew about the affair before the story became public.  She handled all of Tony’s appointments and she worked with both him and Sunset.  She was loyal to a fault… to _Tony_ anway.  It wasn’t too far a leap.

She looked at him clearly taken aback, before he spoke up again. “Have you seen Ant or Steph?  I’ve been looking all over for them.”

Her expression softened. “I think I saw Stephanie over by the piano a little while ago.”

"Thanks,” Steve said, pulling Bucky along behind him.

Bucky stopped walking as he began tugging on Steve’s hand, “I guess you didn’t exactly want to chat it up with _her_.  Are you okay?”

Steve looked down at his shoes, “I’m fine.  I just-- I-- was kind of rude.  I’ll explain later.”

Bucky nodded. “All right, no problem.  It just may not be a good idea to start a fight at your son’s graduation party.”

Steve laughed. “You’ve got a point there.  I’ll try to be a little less... _confrontational_.”

 Bucky motioned for Steve to lead the way as they continued walking around in search of the kids.  Steve tried his best to navigate through the sea of people.  Luckily, no one seemed to be paying much attention to him.

Suddenly, there was an excited shriek. “Uncle Steve!”

Steve turned around and suddenly his expression softened as he saw a redheaded girl running towards him.  “Hey, Rosie,” he said, pulling the girl into a hug. “How are you, sweetheart?”

Rosie was Clint and Natasha’s daughter.  She was easily the sweetest and kindest of any of the kids.  Which was ironic since Natasha and Clint were great… but they weren’t exactly the friendliest people around if you didn’t know them too well.  Yet their daughter was generous and giving, and probably one of the friendliest people on the face of the planet.  That being said she could certainly handle herself and was not a force to be reckoned with.

She shrugged, moving her hair out of her face. “I’m fine.  The food here sucks, so we’re all counting on your dessert to save the day.  How are you doing?  I barely see you anymore.”

Steve smiled. “Well, sweetie, your folks and I have mostly been doing coffee runs at the bakery.  But Steph says you’re doing well.  Apparently you’re at the top of the class.”

She rolled her eyes. “Please.   _Steph_ is at the top of the class.  I’m getting by alright, but Stephanie is _dominating_.” She paused, noticing Bucky for the first time, “Oh--I’m sorry!  I must seem so rude! I’m Rose--my parents are Uncle Steve’s best friends.”

“I’m Bucky, it’s a pleasure to meet you, Rose.” Bucky said politely.

Her face broke into a smile. “Oh shit!  I met you before Steph did.   _She’s gonna kill me_.”

“It’ll be our secret then.” Bucky winked, looking to Steve who gave a small laugh.

“Speaking of Stephanie,” Steve said as he scratched his head, “you haven’t seen her around by any chance have you?  I’ve been looking for her and Ant.  Pepper said she was by the piano but--”

“Oh,” Rosie pointed towards the back door, “I just saw her, she was outside hiding from… her stepmom.  I think Ant was with her too, well Ant _and_ Wanda, but they seem a lot like a package deal now.”

Steve gulped. “Come again?”

She laughed, rolling her eyes a bit.  “Relax, Uncle Steve.  They’re not _technically_ dating yet… but it’s only a matter of time.  Have you seen my parents around?  I’ve been looking all over for them.”

He shook his head. “No, if I see them, I’ll let them know you’re looking for them.”

She nodded, giving Steve another hug. “Thanks, I’ll catch up with you later?”

"No problem, hon, we’ll see you in a bit,” Steve said as he began leading Bucky to the backyard.  He was glad to get out of the crowded house and into the fresh air.

He sighed as he looked around trying to spot his daughter.  I was still crowded in the backyard but nowhere near as crowded as the interior of the house.  His eyes scanned the pack of people, hoping to catch a look at his kids.

“So that was your niece?” Bucky asked.

Steve nodded, still searching for Steph and Ant.  “Yeah, her parents are my oldest friends.  They’re the closest thing to family I’ve got.”

“Yeah?”  Bucky asked. “No… blood relatives to speak of?”

He shook his head. “I’m an only child.  My dad died when I was young and my ma died shortly after I turned seventeen.  I really didn’t know my extended family so when Ma died… I was on my own for a while.”

Bucky nodded. “I know what that’s like.  I don’t have much family to speak of either.  My sister was killed in action and my parents passed away years ago.  For a while, Brock was all I had… and that didn’t work out too well.”

Steve gave Bucky a sad smile. “Well hopefully, we can change that.  I’m still gonna see what I can do to get your dog back.”

Bucky snorted. “Good luck with that.  I doubt anything will come from it.  Like I said, he probably put him down years ago.”

“Maybe we’ll get a dog?  You know if we get to a point when we’re… ready for that,” Steve suggested as he resumed his search for his children.

“Slow down there, Captain,” Bucky teased. “I haven’t even met your kids yet… or at least _most_ of them… I think we should tackle that before we talking about adopting a pet.”

“I know--I know.  I’m just saying we could consider it… in the future.” Steve said flustered.

Bucky smirked. “Believe me, I’m flattered that you feel confident enough, after being my boyfriend for a grand total of one day, that there is a future in which we would be living together and buying a dog but… maybe we should get through _this_ first.”

“Yeah,” Steve said as he began walking around looking for Ant and Steph, “I know.  I’m just… I’m excited about this… about _us._ Is that a bad thing?”

“No,” Bucky chuckled, “It’s definitely not bad.  It’s just a little soon to be talking about that stuff.  Like I said, I want to take things slow.”

“I know, and I agree,” Steve said, “It’s just… it’s been awhile since I’ve dated anyone.  It’s been almost seventeen years since I’ve been out with anyone who wasn’t Tony.  I’m just a little rusty.  I didn’t mean to overstep.”

“You didn’t,” Bucky said, following Steve who was still trying to find the kids, “I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.”

Steve was about to respond when he caught a glimpse of Stephanie out of the corner of his eye. “Steph!” He called, turning to face her.

She gave a slight jump as she turned to see Steve standing there.  She smiled, giving him a slight hug. “Papa, you scared me.”

“Sorry, sweetie.  I’ve been looking all over for you and your brother,” Steve explained.  “I… um… I kinda want you to meet someone.”

Bucky gave a small wave.  

Stephanie’s face fell slightly before she caught herself, perking back up.  “Right!  Of course!  Ant told me you were bringing someone…and I think I saw you… briefly when I… came home early the other night.”

“Right,” Bucky said politely, “I think so.  I’m Bucky, it’s very nice to meet you.  Steve talks about you guys all the time.”

Steph grinned awkwardly and Steve felt his stomach knot up as he took Bucky’s hand in his, silently praying to any deity that would listen for Steph to like and be nice to his new boyfriend.  She certainly knew how to make a scene.  The last thing Steve wanted was for her to react negatively.

Luckily, as Steph was about to respond, Ant came over with Wanda.  “Hey, Steph.  I was just checking--”

Steve cleared his throat. “Is that anyway to greet your father who spent _hours_ baking you all your favorite desserts for this party.”

Ant’s face lit up as he noticed Steve.  “Hey, Pops!” He said as he hugged his father, “I was wondering where you were.  I was actually a little worried that you wouldn’t come.  I mean it’s-- it’s awkward.  I can’t remember the last time, before the graduation, that you and Dad were in the same place.”

“Well, there was no way that I was gonna miss my son’s graduation party.”  Steve said, beaming at Ant, “You remember Bucky.”  He motioned to the man beside him.  “He’s my… boyfriend.”

Ant’s smile didn’t falter, which wasn’t surprising, as he shook Bucky’s hand politely.  If any of Steve’s kids knew how to put on a good face it was his son.  “Hey, I’m Ant.  It’s nice to meet you… _formally_ this time.”  Ant paused, looking down at Bucky’s hand. “Did you serve, man?”

Bucky laughed, shrugging slightly. “Yeah, I have the army to thank for this,” he lifted his prosthetic slightly, “I’ve gotten used to it over the years.”

“I appreciate your service,” Ant said diplomatically, “but… listen.  My pops… he hasn’t really dated in a while--”

“Ant--” Steve said warningly.

“--and just know that if you hurt him--” Ant continued, ignoring Steve’s glares.

“Anthony Joseph Rogers-Stark--”

“I _will_ return the favor.”

“Ant, knock it off,” Steve whined, “We’re just trying to have a nice time.”

Ant frowned at Steve’s behavior looking between him and Bucky.  “Oh my god,” he said as Steve started rubbing Bucky’s hand which was still in his own.  “Are you _drunk_?”  He turned to Bucky accusingly. “Did you get my father _drunk_?”

“ _Anthony_ ,” Wanda said, scoldingly shaking her head.

“Pops doesn’t drink anything other than the _occasional_ beer--”

Stephanie cut in, “ _Ant_ , stop it!  Natalia told me that Pa was drinking a bit _before_ Bucky even showed up.  I didn’t get a chance to warn you before you came over here.  It’s all Pa… not Bucky.”  She looked to Bucky apologetically.

Ant sighed, looking to Bucky.  “I’m sorry, man.  That was… messed up of me.”

Bucky put his hands out dismissively. “No worries.  I get it, you’re protective.  It’s cool.  I don’t know how I’d feel if my dad showed up somewhere drunk with some guy I’ve never met before.  I understand.”

Steve frowned.  “Hang on a second,” he looked to his daughter, “Natalia _warned_ you that I had been drinking.  Why?  I-- I don’t-- I’m not--”

“Papa, she was just concerned,” Stephanie said quietly, “It’s really not like you to drink.”

He shook his head, “I don’t understand why--”

Steve was interrupted by Clint clapping him on the shoulder as he and Natasha came over. “Hey, man what’s going on?”  The interruption clearly helped because the tension eased almost immediately.  The kids made themselves scarce as Natasha and Clint began interrogating Steve.

“Is this the new guy?” Natasha asked, looking to Bucky.

Steve nodded, and the word vomit began.  He forgot how talkative alcohol made him. “Yup, this is Bucky.  Bucky, this is Clint and Natasha.  I met Clint back in the military; he’s probably the best sniper there ever was.  He works in private security now.  

“Nat was a field agent for the CIA.  When I met her, she was in deep cover with the KGB.  I didn’t know that she was CIA and let’s just say I almost blew her cover by nearly bringing her in.  Although _she_ insists I wouldn’t have been able to do that if I tried but… believe me I got pretty close.  Once I found out that she was working for us, she and I became friends and occasionally comrades.  

“She does profiling now, she injured her knee and just couldn’t get back into the field after that.  She was really pissed. If she had it her way she’d still be out doing ops.  Clint, on the other hand…”

“Let’s just say I couldn’t wait to be discharged after Nat gave birth.  I’ll have you know, that I had the stay-at-home-dad thing down like a pro.”  Clint cut in.

Natasha smirked. “Clint was even a ‘Class Mom’ one year.”

“Guilty as charged,” he said, taking a sip of his drink, “You have any kids, Bucky?”

He shook his head. “Nah, the closest I came was a dog--”

“Don’t get Clint started on dogs.  If it were up to him,  we’d have fifty.”  Natasha teased.

Clint frowned. “She only let me have one.  I guess I can’t complain though, I’ve been busier now that the jobs picked up.  It wouldn’t really be fair to bring home another animal when we’re barely around.”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, they’re a lot of work.  Did Steve say you were a sniper?”

“Hell yeah,” Clint exclaimed, “At one point I was the best there was.”

“It’s funny, because I used to be a sniper, but I bet you were in special forces or something,” Bucky suggested.

Clint shrugged. “Nah, after a while Nat put in a good word for me with the CIA and I started doing more covert ops for them.”

“That explains it.  I was mostly… parallel to the front lines, if that makes any sense.  That’s how I lost the arm-- I fell from my vantage point along with a few of my fellow comrades.  They said it was a miracle I survived the fall,” Bucky said motioning to his arm.

“That’s something _else_ you two have in common,”  Natasha hummed.  “Steve had a pretty serious accident too.  I’m sure you’ve heard about that.”

Bucky nodded, looking down at his feet. “Yeah he’s got some pretty nasty scars.  I can’t imagine…”

Steve shrugged dismissively. “I’m fine.  It’s not a big deal--”

Clint snorted. “Maybe not for you, but Nat and I thought you were as good as dead… if it weren’t for Tony--”

Natasha nudged him irritatedly. “We’re just glad that you were able to make a full recovery.”

Steve joked. “I don’t know.  It was the most relaxing nap I ever took.”  He laughed it off, pushing the moments leading up to the crash out of his head, well at least the little bit he was actually able to remember.  “I’m just glad there was no lasting brain damage.”

"The jury’s still out on that one, Cap,” he heard Tony’s voice say from behind him.  He tensed up, tightening his grip on Bucky’s hand.

“Hey, Ton,”  Natasha said, almost exasperatedly.

Steve turned, plastering a fake half smile on his face as he saw Tony and Sunset.  The pair looked happy as ever, and no one would have ever suspected that Tony had even considered leaving her just days before.

“I have to hand it to you, Stark,” Clint said. “You still know how to throw one hell of a party.”

Tony shrugged modestly.  “As much as I’d _love_ to take credit for all of this, it was mostly Sun.  She did all the planning herself.”

"You did a great job, Sunset,” Steve said honestly, “Ant must be ecstatic.  I hope he’s been thankful and appreciative.”

She waved dismissively. “It was my pleasure.  I guess he’s been… excited about everything, but I wouldn’t really know.  He’s been out with that Maximoff girl so often I can hardly tell what he’s thinking.”

Tony’s eyes fell on Bucky--or specifically, Bucky and Steve’s intertwined hands. “I’m sorry, I don’t mean to be a rude host.  We’ve met before, yes?  Your name is… no--don’t tell me-- isn’t it Ducky or something?”

He cleared his throat, forcing a smile. “It’s Bucky, but I wouldn’t expect you to remember, we only met for about two seconds.”

Tony looked to Steve. “I’m just a little confused as you why you brought your architect as your plus one.”

“That’s because he’s my boyfriend, Tony,” Steve said trying to keep the iciness out of his voice.

Tony hummed. “Steve, can I talk to you for a second?”

Steve rolled his eyes. “Yeah--yeah.”  He turned to Bucky, “I’ll be right back.”

He followed Tony, who led him to a more private area of the yard.  Tony stopped walking. They were in front of a fountain--apparently Tony had a fountain. Tony opened his mouth to speak when Steve spoke up first.

“No.  Don’t say a word if it’s about Bucky or what happened a few days ago.  We are at the house that you share with your wife.  We are at the party that your wife planned.  So _please,_ do not start talking about how you were going to leave her or weren’t or changed your mind.  That’s just in bad taste.”

Tony scoffed. “And you bringing your boyfriend here to make me jealous _isn’t_ in bad taste.”

Steve groaned. “I didn’t bring him to make you jealous, Tony.  It had nothing to do with you!  I brought him to meet the kids.”

“Is it really serious enough for him to meet the kids?  I mean just a few days ago--”

“Don’t try and belittle me, Stark.  But for your information, yes it _is_ serious enough for me to be introducing him to the kids.  I’m not some stupid teenager anymore, Tony.  I know what I want… and it’s not this.”  He motioned between the two of them. “I don’t have to worry about whether or not Bucky’s sneaking around or if he’s going to stay the night.  He makes me _happy_ , can’t you just let me be happy?”

“So are you saying that I don’t make you happy?  Is that what you’re saying?  Because you seemed pretty happy when I came over the other day--”

“Oh you mean when you _lied_ to me, and left me like I was some $2 hooker?  Maybe you left a little too soon, because I can promise you I was definitely _not_ happy when I woke up and you were nowhere to be seen.  But you know what the icing on the cake was?  When I called you to find out where the hell you were and your _wife_ , that you were supposedly _leaving_ , answered the phone, and I had to _lie_ for you like an idiot!” Steve snapped. “So trust me _‘happy’_ is not a word I would use to describe how you make me feel.”

Tony rubbed his forehead. “If you would just let me explain--”

“I don’t want to hear it.  When you left me, you didn’t take some time to figure everything out.  You just didn’t come home one day, Tony.  But hey, at least you’re starting to treat your spouse with a _little_ bit more respect than you used to,” Steve said, hostility in his voice, “I did not come here to fight with you, we’ve got _kids_.  Can we just… not do this anymore.  You stay with Sunset, I try this with Bucky, everyone’s happy this way.  Why are you making this so difficult?  I’m not going to tell her, if that’s what you’re worried about.  Between you and me, I’d rather forget the whole thing ever happened.”

"Are you kidding me?  After _everything_ we’ve been through?” Tony asked angrily. “You’re just gonna walk away?”

"You’ve got a lot of nerve bringing up shit like that,” Steve pointed his finger in Tony’s face.  “Most of what we’ve been through is what _you_ walked away from, not me!  I wanted to work things out--I waited every week at that marriage counselor and you _never_ showed up.  And I swear to God--you better sell that damn apartment.”

Tony let out an irritated noise. “Don’t you want to show the kids where we _really_ got started?  Where we--”

“No, I don’t!  There’s no point in showing them where our failed relationship got its jumpstart,” Steve said. “We should head back to the party.  They’ll get suspicious.”

Steve started walking back to everyone else.  He caught Bucky’s eyes who smiled, seeing Steve walking back.  Steve didn’t notice Tony coming up behind him, he definitely didn’t expect Tony to grab his shoulder and force him to face him.

"I’m not done talking, Cap!” Tony snapped.

Steve was taken aback; Tony was yelling about something and he couldn’t really decipher it.  He just saw everyone watching them.  His head was spinning--he thought he was gonna be sick--how much had he had to _drink_?  This was supposed to be Ant’s night, and here they were causing a scene.  He looked back searching for the kids but they were nowhere in sight.  He was praying they didn’t see this.  Tony was still yelling--still pushing on his shoulder.

\Within moments, Bucky was by his side, pushing Tony’s hands off of Steve, about to throw a punch.  Steve grabbed Bucky’s arm instinctively, the last thing he wanted was a physical confrontation between the two.  Sunset was there too, trying to move Tony away from him and Bucky, unsuccessfully.  Steve saw Rhodey, Tony’s best friend come over and force Tony into another area of the yard.

“I think we should go,” Steve said quietly, “I can’t believe we have to leave my son’s graduation party early.  I didn’t do anything… I swear.”

“I believe you,” Bucky said, glaring at Tony from across the yard, “I saw what happened, he just came out of nowhere.  What were you guys talking about?”

Steve stuttered. “Ou-our old a-apartment in Par-Paris.  He was supposed to sell it, but he’s been dragging his feet.  We should go.”  He repeated himself.

Bucky nodded, “Whatever you want.”

As they were about to walk away, Rhodey ran over to them.  Steve braced himself for the worst, this was Tony’s oldest friend, he was sure the Colonel had more than a few choice words for him.

“Steve, look man, I’m really sorry about that.  He just freaked,” Rhodey said calmly. “Sun wanted me to insist that you don’t leave.  This is for the kids after all, Captain.”

Steve shook his head slowly.  He wasn’t expecting Rhodey to be so calm. “Is that an order, Sir?”  Steve asked, joking halfheartedly, “I don’t wanna step on anyone’s toes--”

“C’mon, Steve.  It’s your son’s graduation party.  Between you and me, I’m pretty sure Tony’s just had a little too much to drink.  He doesn’t mean anything by it,”  Rhodey explained.

Bucky rolled his eyes. “So that gives him the right to go around manhandling anyone who pisses him off?”

The Colonel put his hands up defensively.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  I’m not saying that, man.  I’m just saying don’t take it personally.  And I’m saying you should stay.  Ant’s only gonna graduate from high school once.”

Steve nodded. “The kids didn’t see that, did they?”

Rhodey shrugged. “I don’t know, Steve, sorry.  It’s good seeing you though… it’s been a while, you doing alright?”

“Yeah, I’m doing as well as I can given the circumstances.” He sighed, glancing over at Tony who was currently being scolded by Sunset.

Rhodey sighed. “Yeah, I--I don’t know what got into him.  Between the two of us, he was his happiest when he was with you.”

Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand, as if he were worried Steve would just forget that he was his boyfriend and run back into Tony’s arms.  Rhodey must have noticed because he gave Steve a pat on the shoulder.

“Good for you, Steve.” He started heading back over towards Tony. “You deserve to be happy.”

“It was good seeing you,” Steve called to Rhodey who was already making his way back to Tony and Sunset.

“Who was that, exactly?” Bucky asked.

“Rhodey-- Colonel James Rhodes… he’s Tony’s best friend,” Steve explained as he caught Natasha’s eye.  She was standing on the deck as she made her way over to them.

“Makes sense,” Bucky said as he and Steve began walking to meet Natasha.  “Seriously, if you want to go, we can go.  You don’t have to stay after what happened.  He didn’t even have the guts to come over to you himself and apologize.”

Steve halted and turned to Bucky. “It’s my only son’s graduation party.  We’re not going anywhere.”

Bucky put his hands up defensively. “Look, we’ll do whatever you want.  I’m just saying… you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to.”

Steve sighed. “Bucky, it’s not about what I want.  I don’t-- it’s not-- I have to stay for Ant.  He’s already going to college across the country, I don’t need to give him an excuse to be angry with me.  You should see how he treats Tony.  I don’t want to have that kind of relationship with my son.”

“Do you really think that leaving his graduation party early on account of you being practically assaulted would cause that?”  Bucky asked, crossing his arms.

Steve took a deep breath. “Bucky, you don’t understand.  My kids are wonderful, but when you’re a parent things are different.  I know--I sound pretentious and like an asshole--but my kids are… _my world_.  They’re _all I’ve had_ for the past five years, and maybe it doesn’t make sense but they’ve been through hell too.  I don’t want to be another disappointment.”

Bucky sighed before giving him a small smile. “You’re a good father, Steve.  It’s a big party… I’m sure we can avoid Stark for the rest of the evening.”

“Thanks,” Steve said as Natasha finally made her way over to them.

She let out an exasperated sigh. “Clint saw Tony heading over to you and I got the kids inside before anything happened.  I don’t think they saw anything.

“You’re a lifesaver, Nat.” Steve relaxed.

She smirked. “It is in my job description.  I just told them I was getting a little chilly, and said we should step inside.  Hopefully that will be the end of _that_.  But why was Tony--”

“I don’t know,” Steve said honestly. “It’s Tony.  Who knows what the hell he was thinking.”

She shrugged. “Especially since you could massacre him with one look.  He’s lucky you didn’t retaliate.”

“I wasn’t gonna do that.  I thought the kids were around.  If the kids weren’t here… I don’t know what I would have done.”  Steve looked back to where Tony was talking with Rhodey, Pepper and Sunset.

"Well, I admire your restraint,” Natasha smirked.

“Rosie was looking for you and Clint, by the way,” Steve remembered.

She checked her phone. “She didn’t text me, so I’m sure she’s fine.”

Steve gave her a disapproving look.

“ _Christ_ , _Rogers_.  She’s at her cousin’s party, not backpacking through Europe.  She probably just wanted to know if she could borrow my spare set of shoes.”  Natasha rolled her eyes before reluctantly texting her daughter.  She shoved the phone in Steve’s face.  “Happy now?  I texted her.”

“Well, now I feel much better,” Steve teased her.

She scoffed. “Yeah, we can’t all be Supermom like you and Clint.  I swear you two are the biggest Mama Bears I’ve ever met.”

Bucky chuckled. “Oddly enough, that does not surprise me one bit.”  He pecked Steve’s cheek, snaking his right arm around Steve’s lower back.

Steve eased into the sign of affection before responding to Natasha, “Well it’s not like Tony was gonna be all protective.  Clint is watchful enough for the both of you.  Besides, you made sure that Rosie knew how to handle herself.”

Natasha frowned. “Steve, Tony’s plenty protective, you just take it to the extreme.  If you had it your way the kids would be homeschooled or followed around by a bodyguard at all hours of the day.  Tony knows that the kids need their freedom.  Besides… he sends them to the boarding schools with the best security teams in the country.  He has me and Clint investigate all the potential schools before he even runs the idea by you or the kids.  You could give him a little more credit.”

Steve looked down at his feet. “Yeah, I guess.  He is a good father, but he always made me feel like a bit of a nutcase when I’d get on about their safety--”

“You didn’t even want them trick or treating,” she said with a deadpan expression.

“Someone could have poisoned their candy!” Steve insisted, “There are plenty of creeps out in their world who get their jollies by hurting kids!”

“That’s why you check the candy, Steve,” Natasha said seriously, “I mean you should see the way Clint used to inspect Rosie’s candy, anything with the slightest hole would be tossed.  At least with Tony, you guys had an X-Ray machine and I’m sure he could have analyzed some of them too, to make sure they weren’t poisoned and razor-free.”

Steve pouted. “Well Tony got his way on that one anyway.  I just don’t understand, we could have _bought_ them candy.”

"It’s not the same thing, Rogers,” she retorted. “Besides, you definitely went trick or treating as a kid.”

Steve shook his head. “Nah, I was allergic to almost everything.  Luckily I grew out of it, but for a while I had the most insane food allergies.  It was just easier if I didn’t trick or treat.  My ma always made sure she had my favorite snacks in the house on Halloween so I wouldn’t feel left out.”

“Well your kids don’t have those.”  Natasha said, but her expression softened.  “It just wouldn’t hurt for you to lighten up a little bit.”

Steve frowned. “What like _Tony_?”

She rolled her eyes. “Don’t be a drama queen, I’m not saying he’s a better parent.  I _am_ saying that he’s mastered the balance between being protective and letting them have their freedom.”

“Hence Stephanie running away, in the pouring rain, and walking over ten mile--”

“ _Please_ , you said it yourself, that’s just _Steph_ ,” Natasha responded. “I mean it was extreme but you can’t put that on Tony… and don’t bring up the _other thing_.  It was years ago and it wasn’t his fault.”

He sighed. “I never said it was his fault… I mean after the initial shock of it all.  I know that it was all Steph.  But seriously, what kid successfully stages a hunger strike?”

“ _Yours_ , apparently.” She smirked. “Well, I have to go find my husband before he holds some poor bystander captive with small talk.”

Steve nodded. “See you later, Nat.” As she walked away, Steve turned to Bucky, who’s arm was still around his lower back. “I’m sorry for snapping at you before.  This is all kind of--”

“You don’t have to apologize,” Bucky said as he and Steve began walking aimlessly, his arm still wrapped around Steve. “This must be _weird_ for you... and stressful.  Plus, I’m sure the alcohol really isn’t helping the way you hoped it would.”

Steve laughed cynically. “You can say that again.  I probably should have just had you over for dinner as your first meeting with the kids.  This did not go as well as I hoped it would.”

Bucky shrugged as they made their way back into the house. “I don’t know.  I’m not sure how well your kids would have reacted then either.  Like you said, I’m the first guy-- the first _person--_ that you’ve brought home since the divorce.  I’m sure that complicated things too.  I wasn’t exactly expecting for them to love me or anything.  I’m the guy seeing their Pops.  There’s supposed to be tension.”

Steve frowned. “I was hoping they could at least but on a better show… for _my_ benefit.  But, Tal seems to really like you.  Steph seemed… distant but she’s Steph.  She takes a while to warm up to anyone… and Ant… well he’s… Ant.”

Bucky laughed, kissing his cheek again.  “Don’t sweat it, hopefully, they’ll have plenty of time to warm up to me.”

Steve smiled as he leaned into Bucky’s grip.  “I certainly hope so.”

They walked through the house, hoping to find some area that was a little less crowded.  It was almost impossible to hear _anything_ in the main room.  It was too cramped and overflowing with people.  Finally they stumbled upon the… ballroom.  Tony had a freaking _ballroom?_  There was a pianist and there were only a few couples there.  None of whom Steve recognized.

Steve immediately turned to walk out of the room.  He _hated_ dancing, he was terrible at it.  However, Bucky stopped him as he tugged at Steve’s arm.

“Do you wanna dance with me, Captain?” Bucky flirted.

 Steve felt flustered. “I’m no good at dancing.  I’m sure we could find--”

“There’s hardly anyone here.  It’s not like you’ll get embarrassed.  It’ll be fun,” Bucky insisted and Steve felt a pit begin to well in his stomach.  Bucky had been wonderful the whole evening; he’d met Steve’s kids and friends and even had to deal with Tony.  The least Steve could do was dance with him for a song or two.

Steve sighed. “Fine, but I’m warning you, I’m awful at this.”

Bucky smirked.  “Well, luckily, _I’m_ pretty good at this.  Worst comes to worst, I’ll just make you look good.”  He winked at the last statement, as he took Steve’s hand and led him out on to the dance floor.

"Did you used to do this a lot with your ex?” Steve asked insecurely as he was pulled along by Bucky.

His boyfriend snorted. “Absolutely not.  Brock couldn’t be bothered with anything like this.  His masculinity was too fragile for dancing.  His mentality was just because he was screwing a guy didn’t mean he had to look the part.”  Bucky rolled his eyes. “I probably should have realized that he was a tool long before the breakup.  But let’s not talk about our exes?  I think they’ve taken up enough of our time.”

Steve nodded as Bucky wrapped his right arm around his waist and took Steve’s hand in his prosthetic one.  Steve clumsily followed Bucky’s lead as he swayed smoothly to the music.  Bucky wasn’t kidding he _really_ _was_ good at dancing.  It was nice and sweet, and Steve really hadn’t done anything like it before.  The only time he and Tony had danced was at their wedding, and they were both pretty terrible at it.  Aside from that, his only other experience was at the prom with his high school sweetheart, Peggy.  Luckily enough, back then his awkwardness was endearing.  With Bucky it was nice, and would have been relaxing, had Steve not been struggling to keep up with his boyfriend.

Bucky slowed their pace as the pianist started playing another song, and it was much easier for Steve to keep up.  He found himself leaning tenderly against Bucky as they made their way around the dance floor.  It was like they were the only two in the room.  Steve had completely forgotten about the other couples.  There was only him, Bucky, and the soft music surrounding them.  No wonder people used to do this all the time; it was so easy to get lost in the moment--lost in the music.  It was even easier to fall in love--just dancing and listening to the sweet melody.

Steve looked into Bucky’s eyes.   _God, this was nice_.  Couldn’t it always be like this?  No Tony, no drama.  Just Steve and Bucky, always and forever.  Steve didn’t dare voice this.  He promised Bucky they would take things slow, and he had no intention of breaking that promise.  Slow was good, and Steve could wait all the time in the world if it meant he’d get to have Bucky.

Steve, in a moment of bravery, began to lean in slowly.  Sure, they had kissed before but for some reason everything felt far more intimate in here, with the dancing and the music.  Just as Steve’s lips were about to meet Bucky’s, they were interrupted by a booming voice.

“Well, I’ll be damned!  Is that _Captain America_?” The voice roared.

Steve jumped and turned around to see a large, muscular blond man standing in the entrance of the room.

“Thor,” Steve said, giving a sigh of relief, “Still with that _terrible_ nickname?  You can’t let it die already.” Steve had met Thor at a conference in Europe back when he was in active duty.  He was one of the top officers in the Australian military, and from what Steve had heard, he was quite the warrior and strategist.  He hadn’t seen the man in years.

The other man shrugged, walking over to where Steve and Bucky were on the dance floor.  “Well, I think it’s quite fitting.”  He grabbed Steve’s arm giving it a firm shake. “How long has it been?  Ten years now?”

Steve nodded. “That sounds about right.  How have you been?  You still seeing Jane?”

“Of course,” Thor said, an air of confidence in his voice. “We’re to be married sometime next year.  You should be receiving your invitation any day now.”

“I’m looking forward to it.”  Steve motioned to Bucky. “This is my boyfriend, Bucky.”  He turned back to Bucky. “Buck, this is Thor, he’s the finest General that Australia’s ever seen.”

“It’s a pleasure to make your acquaintance.”  Thor shook Bucky’s hand firmly.    

“ _Thor_?” Bucky asked raising his eyebrows, “like the Nordic god?”

Steve chuckled. “His _actual_ name is Donald Blake, but he picked up the nickname during his early days in the military and it just sort of stuck.”

“Precisely,” Thor nodded, “just like _Steve_ here, was referred to as Captain America.”

Steve rolled his eyes. “You were the only person to ever call me that.   _Thank God_ , it didn’t catch on with the other guys.  That would have been unbearable.”

Thor chuckled. “It’s a pity, really.  The title suits you.  You are indeed a Captain and probably the most patriotic man I’ve ever made the acquaintance of.  I have little doubt that you would have worn the name with honor and pride.”

He shrugged. “Steve has always been as much of a nickname as I’m comfortable with, and that’s just one letter short of my full name. But… I will admit, it did have a nice ring to it.”

“I can’t believe your son’s a high school graduate.  It feels as though it was only yesterday when we were all gathered for his first birthday party.” Thor said shaking his head.

“Well, to be fair it hasn’t been _quite_ as long as it should be.  He graduated three years early,” Steve said proudly. “But I know what you mean, time flies.  Is Jane here?”

“No, she couldn’t make it, I’m afraid.  She has reached an unexpected breakthrough with her research, and the facility requires her presence for a few more days.  I haven’t even seen much of her lately,” Thor answered, hearing a hint of satisfaction in his voice.

Steve smiled. “That’s great for her.  She must be thrilled, I remember how hard she works.  It’s nice to see that all her time and dedication has been paying off.”

“Indeed,” Thor said, “I couldn’t be prouder.  She really throws herself into her work, it’s remarkable.”

“Send her my congratulations,” Steve said, “I’m so glad things are going well for you two.”

“If you’ll excuse me, I was looking for the guest of honor.  I’m hoping to extend my congratulations to your son personally.” Thor said shaking Steve’s hand again, “It was good to see you, Captain.  We should try to get together once more before I make the journey home.”

“That sounds great,”  Steve said shaking Thor’s hand, “Take care of yourself, if I don’t get to see you.”

Thor nodded, walking out the door.  “You as well, Captain Rogers.”

Bucky laughed as Thor exited the room, “Is he for real?  He talks very--”

“Yeah, he’s for real.  He was raised to be _very_ formal.  His grammar is so good, it sounds wrong.  He’s a great guy, though.  Unfortunately, he and Jane live on a different continent, so I don’t see them often.” Steve chuckled. “There never is a dull moment when Thor’s around.”

Bucky shrugged. “He seemed nice.  Definitely friendly.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, he is.  Do you want to go see if we can get dessert or…”

Bucky laughed. “I guess you’re done with the dancing?”

“I--I mean, if you want to, I guess we can dance again but… clearly I’m not very good at it,” Steve said looking at his shoes.  He actually did enjoy himself, dancing with Bucky, but the moment was gone, they might as well do something else.

Bucky shook his head. “Nah, we can go somewhere else.  Maybe I can try and get your older two kids to like me before the evening is over.”

Steve scratched the back of his neck as he followed Bucky out of the room.  “They’ll warm up to you, I promise.  You’ve already got one liking you.  Natalia probably won’t stop talking about you for days.”

“Yeah?”  Bucky asked as they navigated through the house. “I guess that’s a win in itself.  Didn’t you say she’s the difficult one?”

“Apparently, that only applies to me.”  Steve rolled his eyes.  “She certainly likes to give _me_ a hard time.”

Bucky shrugged. “If it’s any consolation, _I_ liked _them_.  I thought it was sweet how your son was trying to defend you, and your other daughter just seems conflicted.  She probably feels weird about it all.  They’re used to seeing you with their dad… and I’m not him.  I don’t take it personally.”

“I appreciate that,” Steve said honestly, “but Ant still shouldn’t have said some of the stuff he said--”

"Compared to what I was expecting, that was mild.”  Bucky chuckled. “I was expecting death threats and glares the whole evening.  So this counts as a win for me.”

Steve shook his head. “Well Ant knows better, hence the problem.  But I’m glad you like them--or I’m glad you’re _telling me_ that you like them.  It actually is reassuring.”

Suddenly Bucky threw his arm around Steve’s shoulders.  Steve looked up to see Tony making his way over to them.  Steve tensed up immediately.  He did not want another confrontation.

Tony came up to them before taking a deep sigh. “You’re still here.  Good.  I wanted to apologize about my behavior.  I’ve been under a lot of stress lately, not that I’m excusing it, but I figured I owed you an explanation.”

“It’s alright, Tony.  I know selling the apartment is a sore subject,” Steve said honestly, “I shouldn’t have brought it up.”

Tony stiffened, but nodded.  “No hard feelings then?”

Steve shrugged. “No it’s fine.  I appreciate the apology.”  He paused awkwardly. “The house is lovely.  Honestly, I had no idea how… _grand_ it was inside.  It’s very… Stark.”

“Thanks,” Tony shrugged, “I always liked the house we shared better though.  It seemed more like a home and less like a wedding hall.”

"Either way, you two have done pretty well for yourselves.  You must be happy,” Steve said looking around the whole house.

“Well, I’m extremely fortunate.  Four wonderful kids if you count Robbie, a loving wife,  and yeah, the house is certainly nice too, but,” Tony frowned, “let’s be honest, the grass isn’t always greener on the other side,” Tony said, his eyes burning into Steve.

Steve exhaled. “Well Bucky and I were just looking for the kids so… we’ll see you later?”

Tony nodded. “Yeah, sure. I’m just glad we cleared the air.”

Steve nodded back tensely as he and Bucky walked away from Tony.  Steve was desperate for any excuse to get away from his ex-husband.  The last thing he needed was for Tony to bring up their affair.  Steve felt uncomfortable enough in Sunset’s house without being reminded of what he had done with her husband.

Once they were out of earshot, Bucky spoke in his ear, “Are you okay?  That was really weird.”

Steve nodded. “Yeah, he’s probably had a little too much to drink.  He’s just out of sorts today.”

“Okay, if you’re sure.” Bucky said as he and Steve continued to explore the large home.  

They spent the rest of evening either chatting with Clint and Natasha or Steve explaining who people were.  Steve ran into some more people who he hadn’t seen in ages.  One of the most memorable was Dr. Bruce Banner.  He was one of Tony’s friends from college, but Bruce had went on to become a doctor, while Tony had stuck with engineering.  It was nice to see him and the encounter wasn’t nearly as awkward as he thought it would have been.  But other than that the rest of the evening was, much to Steve’s delight, uneventful.

* * *

 

Once the party was over, Bucky drove Steve home.  Natalia was spending the rest of the weekend at Tony’s before she was getting sent off to sleepaway camp Monday morning.  The pair had actually had a nice time, aside from the few hiccups they encountered during the beginning of the party, Steve was glad that he was able to be there for his son.

When they arrived at Steve’s house, he turned to Bucky with a sad smile.  He didn’t want the evening to end.  He just wanted to stay with Bucky.  “You could come in if you want.  I’ve got some leftover cake and we could have some coffee or something.  This isn’t some sort of weird innuendo for sex, I swear.  I know you want to take this slow, and I respect that.”

Bucky laughed. “Nah, I should get home, before I’m too tired to drive.  But to be honest, Stevie, I think it I went in there with you tonight… all hopes of taking it slow would be out the window.  I _really, really_ , like you Steve, and let’s be realistic here, you’re gorgeous.  I don’t think I could contain myself.”

Steve shrugged. “You’d get no complaints from me.”

He exhaled loudly. “As tempting as that offer is… and believe me it’s _tempting_ , I think we _should_ stick to our plan on taking it slow.”

“I understand,” Steve said, looking out the window at the front door, to his empty house. “Maybe you can come over for dinner sometime this week?  The girls will be away at camp, so it’ll just be me and Ant.  Maybe a more private interaction will be better?”

Bucky nodded. “Yeah, that sounds like a good idea.  Call me and we’ll work out a day?”

“Sounds good,” Steve said, “I guess I’ll see you then?”

“Yeah,” Bucky repeated, kissing Steve for the last time of the evening, “I’m looking forward to it.”

Steve exited the car, waving at Bucky as he pulled away.  He entered the house and made his way up the steps to his empty bedroom.  He looked around the room disdainfully.   _How much hurt had he felt in this room? How many moments of betrayal did this bedroom hold?_ Steve couldn’t wait until the extension was done--this way the room would be different.  It would be _his._  It wouldn’t be Tony’s anymore.

He slipped into bed, and waited for sleep to come.  He had a great evening, with his great boyfriend, he wished he could just be frozen in the moment cherishing how pleasant the evening turned out to be.  It was far better than what Steve had been anticipating.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update, guys! This chapter was MUCH longer than I intended it to be. I was editing it last night but then the Civil War Trailer dropped, and any hope I had of editing something went out the window! But It's ready now, and the next chapter shouldn't take me nearly as long! I hope you like it!

Steve was thrilled that he got to spend the next week almost exclusively with his son.  While most of Ant’s time was spent with the Maximoffs, it was nice being able to just spend time with his son.  Ant was helping him with dinner and talking to him about everything… except Harvard.  Steve didn’t ask.  He just enjoyed the time with his son.  Steve remembered bringing Ant home and sleeping on the floor next to his crib all night.  Having him home was perfect.

Tuesday, when he and Ant were making breakfast together, Steve spoke up.  “So, I know you met Bucky at your party, but it was really crowded and you didn’t really get a chance to _meet_ him.  I was thinking about inviting him over for dinner this week.  If that’s okay with you?”

Ant shrugged. “Yeah sure.  Could you give Wanda the night off and she can come too?”

Steve stared at his son, dumbfounded.  “Let me get this straight… you want _me_ to give your _girlfriend_ \--”

“She’s just a friend, Pops.”

“ _Friend_ , the night off, so you can have her over for dinner, when _I’m_ going to be introducing _you_ to my new _boyfriend_?” Steve asked, surprised at Ant’s boldness.

Ant nodded. “That sounds about right.”

“Is this _blackmail_?  Because this _feels_ like blackmail.”  Steve stated as he crossed his arms.

Ant shook his head. “Nah.  I just think that a… _buffer_ may be nice.  You know to diffuse the awkwardness.”

“ _Really_?  Because I’m pretty sure that it’s just gonna _add_ to the awkwardness.  I doubt your girlfriend--”

“ _Friend_ , Pops.”

Steve sighed; this child was testing his patience. “I doubt that your _friend_ , really wants to sit here while you meet my boyfriend for one of the first times.  Ant… this means a lot to me.  I would appreciate it if you could take this seriously.”

“But I shouldn’t take my friendship with Wanda seriously?” Ant asked, flipping one of the pancakes.

Steve rolled his eyes. “I just think it’s a family only kind of thing.  I can give her off the next night and you can have her over.  You can make her a nice meal and everything.  I’ll even help you cook it if you want.”

“No, because then that would be a date,” Ant said agitatedly, “and like I said she’s just a friend.  I kind of need an excuse to have her over, and your dinner with Bucky provides me with the perfect one.”

Steve groaned. “For crying out loud, just ask the girl out already.  Rosie said you two were practically inseparable anyway.”

Ant shrugged. “I guess I’ll just find something else to do that night.  I’m sure Pietro will up to hang.”

“Like hell, I was really only asking as a courtesy.  He’s coming over and you are going to be on your best behavior--”

“Or my _worst_ behavior.  After all, this guy is screwing my Pops.  How friendly am I supposed to be?”

“He’s not--we’re not--it’s none of your business.  You’re gonna be there and you’re gonna be good.  Please.  When’s the last time I’ve asked you for _anything_.  This guy is important to me, and I want him to be important to you too,” Steve said, stuttering a bit.

Ant sighed in defeat. “Yeah, of course, Pops.  Could you at least consider letting Wanda come, though.  I get that Bucky’s important to you, and I think it’s great that you have someone who makes you happy, but it’s gonna be really awkward third wheeling it with you and your boyfriend.  Tal told me you guys were all kissy and stuff and there’s only so much therapy can do.”

Steve scoffed. “Oh so since Stephie’s out of town, it’s your turn to be the dramatic child?”

Ant shrugged. “Someone’s gotta be.”

“I’ll think about it, but either way you’ve gotta be on your best behavior, kid,” Steve said, pointing the spatula at his son.

Ant smirked. “It’s a deal.  Call your boyfriend, tell him I’m super excited to meet him.”

Steve rolled his eyes, taking off his apron.  “Will do. Finish these up?  I think I’m gonna run down to the bakery, just to do the books.  I’ll be home in a little while.”

“Are you really gonna be keeping up with the books, or are you going to go meet _Bucky_?  I mean, you can tell me.  It’s not a secret that you guys are dating.”

Steve gave him a look. “Or I actually run a business and it includes keeping with the finances?  Trust me, I’m not gonna be keeping my dates a secret.  Most of them will be here anyway.  I’ve got the better kitchen.”

Ant hummed. “Okay, whatever.  Have fun at the bakery.  Tell Dugan I say hi.”

“Will do,” Steve called back into the house as he headed out the door.  He got in his car and started on his way to the bakery.  On the way he _did_ decide to call Bucky.  He hadn’t seen him since the weekend, and he wanted to tell him that Ant was on board.

Bucky answered the phone on the second ring. “Hey, Stevie.  I was just thinking about you.  I was gonna make some of that chicken that we had leftover from Friday.  What’s going on?”

Steve beamed.  He was sure that Bucky could hear his smile over the phone. “I was gonna invite you over for dinner tomorrow; I got Ant to agree to it… kind of.  It was like negotiating a car sale.  But I really think this is gonna go well.  Ant’s… he’s good at putting on a show.  He got that from Tony.”

Bucky sighed over the phone. “Yeah, okay sounds good.  Should I bring anything?  I want this to go well--it is your only son and all.  Does he like doughnuts or cupcakes or something?”

“I told you I spoiled my kids,” Steve teased, “bringing food will get you nowhere.  If you wanted to bring some bread or something that would be helpful.  I really don’t wanna make a whole loaf of bread tonight.”

“Yeah--okay.  I just don’t think that’ll impress your son very much.  Does he have a favorite candy or soda or something?  I mean… I’m already dating his father, so I’ve gotta work hard, right?” Bucky asked and Steve heard Bucky knocking something over.

“You okay?  That wasn’t the oil was it?” Steve asked, concern in his voice.

Bucky chuckled. “No, I… I just need to clean this place up.  So what’s the best way to bribe your son?”

Steve snorted. “Uh… he likes chocolate if you really want to bring over a dessert, but then that leaves me with the bread... “

“Relax, Rogers, I’ll make sure I get the freaking bread.”  Bucky chortled. “I just don’t think it would hurt if I brought over something special for your son.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, then anything chocolate would do, just don’t go too crazy alright?  He hasn’t exactly done anything worthy of a treat--”

“No offense, Steve, but I don’t care if it gets him to like me.”  Bucky stated.  Steve could hear his boyfriend clanging some pots around.

“Alright, I get it,” Steve said earnestly before adding teasingly, “How come you never ask me what _my_ favorite desserts are?”

Bucky scoffed. “Steve, I can hardly get you to agree to let me take you out to dinner. I’m not gonna try and find your favorite exotic French pastry that you could just make better anyway.  I _will_ bring over that bottle of wine you liked so much last time.  I figure you’ll handle that better than the godforsaken tequila that you had the other night.”

“You trying to get me drunk, Sergeant?” Steve teased, knowing full well that Bucky would feel more guilt than anything if he managed to get Steve inebriated.

“Hardly,”  Bucky sighed. “But it wouldn’t kill you to relax every once in awhile.  You could use a drink or two every now again.”

“That’s how alcoholism starts, Buck.”  Steve smirked as he approached the bakery. “Trust me, I would know.  Tony was a borderline alcoholic for most of our marriage.  Of course if I said anything about it, it always caused a big fight.”

“Yeah, well I lived with a very regimented asshole, who prided himself on his sobriety.  I can’t imagine how much of a prick he would have been _with_ alcohol.  So is that a no to the wine?” Bucky said as Steve got out of the car.

Steve shrugged, forgetting for a moment that Bucky couldn’t actually see him. “Yeah, whatever you want.  I’m not against alcohol, I was just horsing around, Buck.”

Steve heard his boyfriend let out a sigh of relief. “Thank god.  Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad you’re not a drunkard or anything, but Brock used to get this goddamn superiority complex everytime I so much as looked at a drink.  Looking back on it, there were definitely a lot of signs that he was a manipulative ass.”

“It’s funny how clear things become once we’re _out_ of those relationships, huh?” Steve said as he walked into the bakery, phone still attached to his ear. “God after Tony and I got divorced I began to see things so much more clearly than before.  There were definitely warning signs, that I didn’t notice until after.”

Bucky hummed in agreement. “Yeah, Brock was a manipulative asshat, but I chalked it all up to him being a concerned boyfriend.  Then once he left-- _with my goddamn dog_ \-- it all became _so obvious_ that he didn’t care about me.  I was just… _convenient_ for the time being.  Once Jack came along… he didn’t even pretend to give a shit about me.”

Steve frowned. “By the way, I spoke to Clint yesterday, and he said that Natasha’s gonna look into the dog situation.  I know you said he was old, and all that, but that guy took everything from you… the least he could do is give you your dog back.”

“Wow.”  Bucky paused. “That would be… amazing.  That dumb dog was the only companion I had, you know?  Other than Brock obviously, but I under no uncertain terms want _him_ back… ever, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss my dog.”

Steve smiled, waving to his employees as he passed them on the way to his office.  “I can only imagine.  If Tony had succeeded in taking the kids… I probably would’ve done something awful to myself.  The kids are all I’ve got, and I’ve never done well on my own.”

He heard Bucky groan. “Well, unfortunately, sometimes you do what you’ve gotta do to survive.  It wasn’t easy, but I got by just fine.  I wouldn’t be disappointed to get the dog back, though… _if_ you can manage it.  It’s really no big deal if you can’t make it happen.”

“I promise, I’ll keep you posted,”  Steve said, sitting down at his desk.  “I can’t make any guarantees, but… if anyone can get your dog back it’s Nat.  She used to bring in terrorists, I’m sure she can bring in a dog.”

Bucky exhaled. “That’s assuming my bastard of an ex still has the dog.  Brock could have sold him… or worse.  You never know, and he was an old dog before the breakup.”

Steve sighed. “Yeah, I know, I’ll let you know what Nat says.  She’ll keep me posted, and I’ll relay the message to you.”

“Thanks,” Bucky said softly, “I really do appreciate it.  Just don’t be surprised if I don’t get my hopes up too high.  Brock would do _anything_ just to spite me.”

Steve frowned. “Well I’ll do what I can.  He sounds like a real piece of work to be honest, Buck.  How’d you get involved with a guy like that?”

“How did _you_ get involved with Tony Stark, Steve?  It just kind of happened.  It was reassuring being with someone who understood what it was like in war and then having to come home.  Plus he really did help me figure out how to work the arm.  Besides, everyone has that one ex…”  Steve could practically hear Bucky’s smirk over the phone.

“I’ve gotta let you go, Bucky.  I’m taking care of all the bills for the bakery.  I’ll talk to you later?  Ant will probably be out if you wanna swing by the bakery for dessert or something?” Steve suggested eagerly.

“It sounds like fun, but I want to put the finishing touches on your blueprints.  Sam wants to get started no later than next week.  I’ve gotta make sure everything’s perfect or he’ll fire my ass before I can say ‘unemployment.’  I’ll let you know if I get done with this early?  Otherwise it’s probably not gonna happen.” Steve heard Bucky moving around on the other end.

Steve sighed. “Yeah, I understand.  I’ll see you tomorrow?”

“I wouldn’t miss it,”  Bucky said excitedly. “I can’t wait to see what your son has to say about me.”

“He’ll be on his best behavior I promise.” Steve silently cursed himself.  Ant _could_ put on a good face, but he also knew how to be difficult when he wanted to be.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Stevie.  I’ll call you later?” Bucky asked.

“Sounds good, Sergeant Barnes.”  Steve pulled out his notebooks of paperwork before hearing a click on the other end of the phone.

Steve looked over all of the paperwork and began filling out checks and ordering ingredients.  He had to take care of inventory, to make sure all the numbers matched before ordering anything else.  Steve _hated_ paperwork day, his favorite time at the bakery consisted of baking, cooking, and helping the rest of the staff.  Tony used to take care of all the financial details, but once the divorce happened, Steve had to figure out how to do it himself.  It wasn’t exactly hard, it was just tedious, and it was certainly time consuming.  Ant used to help him with this stuff, but when he went off to boarding school, Steve took on most of the responsibilities.  Dugan was one of his managers, but he really only locked up and cleaned when Steve wasn’t able to do it.  

Most of his time spent at the bakery that day was tedious, busy work that needed to be done.  It did give him an excuse to get out of the house for a few hours.  As much as he loved having Ant home, his son had certainly be less than pleasant to be around lately.  Besides, Steve was anxious over the dinner.  His last attempt at introducing Bucky to his children didn’t exactly go as planned, and Steve really could see a future with Bucky… but nothing was more important to him than his children.  If Ant really had a problem with Bucky that could be a deal breaker.

As Steve was finishing up, there was a knock on his office door.  Dugan poked his head inside.  “Hey, Boss.  Nat’s here to see you.”

“Thanks, Tim.” Steve called as Dugan left the room and Natasha walked in.

“Why the hell am I looking into an ex-special forces agent’s _dog_?” Natasha plopped down on one of the chairs in Steve’s office.

Steve sighed. “He was special forces?  Bucky failed to mention _that_ detail.”

“Still waiting on an explanation, Rogers,” Natasha said, tapping her fingers on his desk impatiently.

“He’s Bucky’s ex, and when he left he took the dog,” Steve clarified. “I was hoping you could help with that.”

“Steve… I think it’s very sweet that you want to help your boyfriend retrieve his long lost dog, but how long has it been since they stopped seeing each other?  Even if I can track this dog down, it’s not likely I’ll be able to _legally_ get the dog back.”  She frowned, shaking her head. “I’ll still look into it, but… I don’t see this working out in your favor.”

Steve rubbed his forehead. “Yeah--I get it.  Thanks.  I appreciate you looking into it.  Keep me posted?”

She groaned. “Yeah--yeah.  I’ll look into it.  You know, this time last week you were still talking about Tony, and now you’re willing to start World War III over your new boyfriend’s German Shepherd.  He doesn’t exactly seem like a rebound guy.”

“Who says he’s a rebound guy?” Steve asked, “I _really_ like him, Nat.  He’s coming over for dinner with Ant tomorrow.  I… I’ve never felt like this before.  Besides, I thought you wanted me to get over Tony.  You of all people should be happy about this.”

“Hey, I didn’t say I wasn’t happy about it.  I just want to make sure that _you’re_ happy about it.  I mean, you were pretty messed up when shit hit the fan with Stark.”  She gave him a knowing look. “I just don’t want you to get in too deep with this new guy and then realize that he’s just been some way of getting over Tony.”

Steve shook his head. “It’s not like that, Nat.  When I was having my… episode, I called him and… he was able to help me calm down.  Even Tony couldn’t do much to make me feel better when we were together.  But something about this guy…he made me feel _safe_ and _comfortable_.  I’ve never had that before, Natasha, and I like it--I like _him_.”

She shrugged, standing up.  “Fine.  I’ll go find your boyfriend’s long lost dog for you.  I’m not making any promises, but I’ll see what I can do.”  She paused. “By the way, what’s going on with Ant and Wanda?  Rosie said there was something…”

Steve rolled his eyes. “I don’t know.  He won’t ask the girl out already, I don’t know why.  They seem to like each other, and they’ve been spending a lot of time together.  But I can’t say I’m not glad they’re taking things slow.  They’re kids, and things like this can get complicated.  Plus I kind of want him to stay my little boy for a little longer.”

Natasha snorted, putting her hands on her hips.  “Well your ‘little boy’ is going to be a college student come August… I think that ship has sailed.”

“He’s only fifteen--”

“So wouldn’t you rather his first girlfriend be Wanda Maximoff, instead of some girl at least three years older than him?” Natasha asked. “I mean Wanda’s a nice girl, close to his age, easy to keep an eye on.  Ant could be off with anyone… at any time in college-”

“Alright I get your point,” Steve said agitatedly.  She did admittedly have a point. “But I’m not gonna push it.  He’ll ask her out when he’s ready.”

She smirked. “Well, if he’s anything like Tony, it won’t be long now.  I’m gonna head out and start work on this _dog_ case.  You gonna stick around here?”

“Nah.” Steve stood up. “I think I’m gonna head home, and start dinner.  It’s nice having Ant here by himself.  I feel like I haven’t had much time to talk to him.  He’s been busy with Wanda, I’ve been busy with the girls… and the Tony situation.  Plus it’s only a matter of time before he leaves for school.”

“Has he chosen one yet?  Rosie said he was looking at Harvard, and Stanford,” she asked as they walked out the door together.

Steve sighed. “Your guess is as good as mine.  Sunset seems to think that he’s going to Harvard, but Ant hasn’t actually told me anything yet.  I hope he picks somewhere closer but… I can’t pretend I wouldn’t be thrilled if he went to Harvard.  It’s arguably the best school in the country.  But it’s far… and I just got him back home.  Besides, if he stays on the East Coast, he’ll probably settle down there--and then I’ll only see him on holidays and the occasional vacation.”

“I think you’re getting ahead of yourself, Steve.  Besides, Ant loves you.  He wouldn’t remove himself from you permanently.  I mean for crying out loud, you guys considered homeschooling him through kindergarten because his separation anxiety was too much for him,” Natasha said as she dug her car keys out of her purse.

Steve snorted. “That was ten years ago, Nat.  He adapted to boarding school pretty well.”

“Yeah, well that was shortly after the divorce… it probably did him some good to get away,” she reasoned. “Trust me, Ant will come back home after college at least for a little while.  Maybe he’ll take some time off and just be a kid for a bit.”

“I would love that,” Steve confessed, “but Ant’s got a lot of potential, I don’t think I’d let him waste it just sitting around at home.”

“Tony definitely wouldn’t have that,” Natasha agreed. “I’ll talk to you when I get some information on this dog.  Get home safe.” She waved as she entered her car.

“Yeah, you too.  Thanks again!”  Steve called back as he got into the minivan and drove home.

* * *

 

When Steve arrived home, the lights were off.  Ant must have gotten someone to drive him over to Wanda’s house or something.  Steve unlocked the door.  Suddenly the lights flashed on, and there sat Ant and Wanda on the couch, looking mortified.

Steve took a deep breath, as he looked from Wanda to Ant.  They both looked disheveled… obviously they had been kissing or something.  Their hair was askew and their clothes all wrinkled up.

“Mr. Rogers-- I can explai--” Wanda began.

“Pops, it’s not what it looks like--”

“Anthony, can I have a word please?” Steve said shortly.

Ant gulped, “Ye--yeah.”  He followed Steve into the guest room,

“What the hell, Ant!” Steve snapped, “I can’t leave to go to the bakery without you bringing Wanda back and doing god knows what?!  Are you out of your mind?  Do her parents know that you two are here alone?”

“Pops, nothing happened--”

“And if I had gotten here later would something _have_ happened?” Steve retorted angrily, “I don’t have too many rules in this house--”

“That’s debatable--”

“Do you really think that’s wise right now?” Steve said, deadly calm.

Ant looked at his feet and shook his head. “No.”

“ _Thought so_.” Steve was fuming. “Look.  I like Wanda, she’s a good kid, but for crying out loud, Ant you two are _fifteen_.  You should be going to the movies or out to eat or something, not sneaking around when your parents are out.”

“Pops, I’m sorry.  She was just coming over to help me prep for some college interviews.  Uncle Bruce said he could introduce me to someone over at his lab, and she was helping me come up with some questions to ask.  Then one thing led to another and--” Ant tried to talk his way out of it.

“And one of you was able to think clearly enough to turn off the lights?” Steve cut in.

He shook his head. “It wasn’t like that, Pa.  When she came over it was still light out--we didn’t have the lights on to begin with-- I _swear!”_

Steve tried to contain himself.  “ _Exactly how long has she been here, Anthony?_  It’s been dark for a little while now!”

“I’m sorry, Pops,” he said in a small voice, not making eye contact with Steve.

Steve groaned. “I’m gonna go drive Wanda home.  We’ll discuss your punishment later.”

Ant opened his mouth, presumably to protest, but Steve walked out of the room before his son could say a word.  He walked over to Wanda who was standing by the front door anxiously tapping her foot.  When she saw Steve she froze, staring at him with fear in her eyes.

Steve sighed. “Wanda, I’m gonna drive you home, alright?”

“That’s not necessary, Mr. Rogers, my father is on his way.”  She looked down at her feet.  “I understand if you want to fire me but Pietro did nothing wr--”

“You’re not fired, Wanda.” Steve said calmly as Ant came out of the guest room, “You didn’t do anything wrong.  Ant knows the rules.  He’s the one who broke them.”

Ant spoke up, “I’m really sorry, Wanda.  I didn’t think.”

She gave a slight smile that did not quite meet her eyes. “It’s okay, Anthony… this was a mistake anyway.”

Ant’s face fell and Steve felt his heart sink for his son.  While he was less than happy with his son’s behavior, this couldn’t be easy for him.

Ant regained his composure before saying, “Right. Totally.”  He walked over to the steps before muttering under his breath, “Biggest mistake of my life.”

Wanda’s face saddened. “I didn’t mean-- Anthony, I wasn’t--”

She was silenced by Ant slamming the door to his bedroom.  Steve grimaced, not making eye contact with the young girl.  “Would you like something to drink?” Steve asked awkwardly, silently cursing his son for leaving him alone with Wanda.

Her expression hardened, looking up at her boss. “No thank you.  I’m fine.”  Steve could hear the bitterness in her voice.

After a few moments standing there in awkward silence, Wanda’s father’s car appeared in the driveway.  Steve contemplated going out there and talking to her father, explaining what had happened.  But Steve wasn’t out to ruin the girl’s life.  He decided to let it go as she left the house, giving one last glance to the staircase and racing out the door.

Steve let out a deep exhale as he looked back to the steps.  This was new territory for him.  Tony was always so good at talking to Ant about girls and all that stuff.  Steve had no clue what to say.  Steve had only _really_ dated two people in his life, and while things weren’t exactly easy, he hadn’t ever had this issue before.  Then again, Steve was still trying to get over the anger he still felt.  His son wouldn’t be in this position had he just listened to the rules and not had Wanda over to begin with.

Steve slowly made his way up the steps.  He walked over to Ant’s room.  The door was still shut and the lights were on.  Steve could swear he heard things being thrown around in there.  Suddenly there was a loud crash, and Steve burst through the door.

“Ant-- **what the hell are you doing in here?** ” Steve roared.  He paused looking at Ant’s dresser, which was now on its side instead of its usual upright position.  It was the only thing separating him from his son, and _thank god_ , because if Ant were in arm’s reach, Steve wasn’t sure what he would do.  He was torn between dragging his son downstairs and making him sleep on the couch for a month and pulling the kid into a hug.

Ant looked up at Steve.  His eyes were red and puffy, but he tried his best to put on a defiant face as he said, “ _Sorry,_ Pops.  I guess it was just _another_ mistake. We should add it to the list.”

Steve tried his best to contain himself. “You’re only digging yourself a bigger hole, Anthony.  Knock it off, or so help me, you’ll wish the only thing you had to worry about was your fight with Wanda.  Am I making myself clear?”

His son sniffled, looking down at his shoes.  “Yeah, we’re clear.”

Steve looked back to the dresser and his eyes scanned the rest of the room.  There were things thrown all over the place.  The mirror was shattered and his clothes were scattered across the floor.  His speakers were torn apart.  While Steve was angry, he was now filled with concern.  This was _not healthy._

“Ant, get in the car,” Steve said quietly.

Ant looked at him panicked, “Pops-- I’ll clean it up I swear.  Don’t bring me to Dad’s, okay?  I’m sorry--I’m so sorry.  I’ll be good.  Papa, I swea--”

“I’m not sending you away,” Steve said calmly, “Just please get in the car, I’ll explain later.”

Ant looked back at the room, he went to pick up some of the shards from the floor.

“Ant, stop.  C’mon we’re gonna go for a ride,” Steve said honestly. “Just leave it.”

Ant dropped the glass on the ground before walking out the door to his bedroom.  He looked back to Steve, desperation in his eyes.

Steve sighed, pulling his son into a bone crushing hug.  “Everything’s okay, Ant.  I promise.  We’re gonna fix this.  Just get in the car, okay?  I’ll be right there.”

Ant nodded and Steve could have sworn he saw his son wipe a tear away from his eye as he quickly ran down the steps.  Steve watched Ant from the stairwell as he left through the front door and into the minivan.

The second Steve saw the car door close, he pulled out his phone and called Tony.

“Steve?” He asked. There was a lot of noise in the background, which was surprising to say the least. “I’m glad you called.  I wanted to explain--”

“It’s about Ant,” Steve said, filling up with stress. “He and Wanda just had a fight, and then he freaked out in his room.  Tony, he destroyed _everything_ he freaking owns.  I’m taking  him to Coulson, I thought you should know--”

“Slow down a second,” Tony spoke up, “He has a temper tantrum and now you think he needs to see a therapist.  Steve, don’t you think that’s a bit prematu--”

“I’m not asking permission, Stark.  I’m keeping you updated.  I’m bringing him there with or without your blessing… I think I’m gonna bring Steph too once she gets home.  Honestly, we should have brought her there years ago.  That one worries me,” Steve said, glancing out the window to make sure Ant was still in the car.

He heard Tony sigh.  “Look, Steve.  I think it’s sweet that you’re concerned.  But Ant’s not _you_ \--not _us_.  He’s probably fine now that he’s let some steam off--”

“Don’t patronize me, Tony,” Steve spat into the phone.  “Trust me, he’s not ‘fine now,’ he’s a freaking mess!  Plus, I don’t want him to think that it’s acceptable to react violently when something upsets him.  That is _absolutely_ not okay!”

Tony gave a disgruntled groan, “Fine.  You do what you’ve gotta do.  I think you’re making a bigger deal out of this than it has to be.”

“Well, when he has a breakdown at _your_ house, _you_ can handle that however you see fit.”  Steve said, grabbing his car keys.  “But until then, you can kiss my ass.  I just wanted to keep you posted.  This is our _son_ we’re talking about.”

Steve hung up the phone before Tony could respond.  Steve then started dialing his psychologist’s office.  By some miracle, he still had the right number and reached the receptionist with ease.  He had never been so grateful that Phil’s office was open so late.

When he got in the car, Ant was in sitting the front passenger seat.  He looked to his father.

“Where are we going, Pops?” He asked nervously.

Steve gave him a small smile. “Don’t worry about it, kiddo.  It’ll only take an hour or so, then we’ll be home, and maybe I’ll pick up some dinner--”

“Why aren’t you yelling at me?” He asked, barely louder than a whisper.  “I broke your rules, I destroyed my room.  You should be yelling and grounding me.”

Steve gave his son a small smile. “You’ve had a rough day.  We can talk about potential punishment tomorrow.  Until then, just relax a little.”

“Are you dropping me at Aunt Nat’s and Uncle Clint’s until you figure out what to do to me?” Ant asked, still sniffling a little.

Steve shook his head. “No. I’m not. I’m bringing you somewhere that’ll help.  Don’t panic, it’s won’t take the whole night.  We’ll be home in time for dinner.  I promise.  You trust me, right?”

Ant nodded. “Of course.”

Steve proceeded to drive them to Coulson’s office.  

* * *

 

Steve pulled into the office complex’s parking garage.   He hadn’t been there in years and it was reassuring to see that he still knew the way.  He and Ant got out of the car.

Ant turned to face his father. “Where are we, Pops?”

“Don’t freak out, but do you remember Aunt Natasha’s friend, Phil?” Steve said slowly. 

His son’s face fell. “The shrink?  Pops, I don’t think I need--”

“Then do it for my benefit.”  Steve said, he knew he was playing at his son’s heartstrings. “I’m worried about you, bud.

"Ant looked back at the building before giving Steve a quick nod.  “Okay, Pops, okay.  If it’s really that important to you--”

“It is. Ant, I used to come here all the time before we brought Stephie home, and things got too busy.  But Phil really helped me, and I hope he can do the same for you.  He’s a great guy and I think it’ll do you some good.  This way, next time some girl breaks your heart, you can talk to someone about it instead of tearing apart your room.  I know that I’m not the easiest to talk to.  I get it.  The last person you wanna talk to is your father.”   _Unless it’s Tony_ , Steve thought bitterly.

Ant looked down at his shoes as they walked towards the entrance to the office.  “It’s just hard, when the only mistake your pops has ever made is marrying your dad.  It kind of makes it hard to talk about my mistakes.”

“Ant, I’ve made plenty of mistakes, but marrying your father was not one of them,” Steve said honestly, “I _loved_ your dad.  Part of me will _always_ love him.  It just wasn’t meant to be.  But if I could go back in time and do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat.  You guys are the best thing that ever happened to me.  I wouldn’t have that without your dad.”

“You don’t have to say that to make me feel better.  I’m sure the last thing you wanted was to look at my face after he left.  I mean I look just like him.”  Ant looked away, not meeting Steve’s eyes. “I hope you realize that’s the only reason I wanted to stay with Dad.  I didn’t want you to be hurting because of me--”

Steve halted, grabbing his son and forcing the boy to look at him.  “You can’t actually believe that.  Ant, you’re my son.  I couldn’t give a rat’s ass who you looked like.  I remember bringing you home from the hospital.  That was one of the happiest days of my life.  It’s tied with when we brought your sister’s home.  I don’t you want to to _ever_ feel like your blood affects my love for you or your siblings.  You’re stuck being my baby boy, no matter how old you get or how much you look like your dad.  You’re just as much my son as you are his, and if anyone tries to tell you otherwise, I’ll kick their ass.”

Ant let out a choked sob as he leaned against his father. “You promise?”

“I swear on my life,” Steve said seriously, patting his son’s back. “Let’s go inside.  I’m sure there’s a lot more that you want to talk about.”

Ant nodded as they entered the office.  He took a seat as Steve went to sign him in, giving over all the insurance information.  Then he sat down next to his son.  “I can come in if you want me to.  Or I can stay out here until you’re done.  Whatever you feel comfortable with.”

Ant sighed. “Can I think about it, Pops?  I don’t know--I haven’t really had a chance to process everything.”

“Of course.  Maybe you can go in on your own and if you want me to come in, you could just poke your head out,” Steve suggested.  “I really think this’ll do you some good.”

Ant gave a little shrug.  “I guess that’s a good idea.”

Steve smiled as he rubbed Ant’s back for a moment.  “Think about what you want for dinner after this.  I’ll pick up whatever you want.”

“Can we have ice-cream for dinner?” Ant asked. “Like when I would have a fever when I was little.”

Steve groaned.  He hated that Tony had started that tradition.  The kids would then try to fake sickness for weeks in hopes of having ice-cream for dinner.  But as he was sitting here with his son, he couldn’t bring himself to say no. “Of course, you little punk.  But don’t get used to it, I didn’t go to culinary school to feed my kids ice-cream as a meal.”

Ant laughed.“It’s a deal.”

Then the receptionist called Ant inside.  His son gave him a fleeting look before he followed the receptionist into the back.  Steve let out a sigh.  To say he was worried about his son was an understatement, but Ant reacted much better than Steve did when Tony first dragged him to this office.  Steve had yelled and fought the whole way there, Ant had seemed to accept that he needed to talk to someone.  It was reassuring seeing that Ant was at least open to the idea.

* * *

 

After about an hour, the receptionist walked over to him.  “Excuse me?  Captain Rogers?  Dr. Coulson would like to invite you into his office.”

Steve nodded as he stood up.  He followed the young woman to Phil’s office.  It looked almost exactly as Steve remembered.  There were some lounge chairs with old war propaganda posters on the walls.  Steve tried his best to ignore the ones featuring himself.  He took a seat next to Ant who was sitting upright on one of the lounge chairs leaving a lot of room for Steve to sit beside him.

“What’s the verdict, Doc?” Steve asked, trying to keep his tone happy and light.  Inside he was a bundle of nerves, anxiously waiting to hear what Phil had to say.

Phil gave a slight smile. “He’ll be fine.  Your son’s under a lot more stress than the average fifteen year old.  I would like to see him once every two weeks, but other than that, there isn’t much I can say without Ant’s permission.  I’m his doctor first in this situation.”

 Steve smiled again, bumping his shoulder against his son’s.  “I’m glad you feel that way, Phil.  But you don’t think-- he doesn’t need… medication or anything like that?”

Phil shrugged. “If after we try this for a while, and Ant feels like he might need some medication I can recommend a psychiatrist who can tell you those options.  Honestly, I don’t think he needs that.  Not right now, anyway.  We all have bad days, Captain.  I think our biweekly visits will be perfectly fine for Anthony’s needs.”

Steve relaxed as he patted his son on the back.  “That’s good news, kid.  This is great.”

“I also think that maybe _you_ should consider resuming our sessions,” Phil suggested, “I mean, you haven’t been in since the divorce.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Steve said honestly, “I promise.”

Ant stood up, “Can we go now, Pops?”

Steve looked to Phil, who motioned to the door whilst standing up.  “It was good seeing you again, Captain.”  He shook Steve’s hand before turning to Ant.  “It was a pleasure meeting you, Anthony.  I look forward to our sessions in the future.”  He shook Ant’s hand before Steve and the boy left the office.

“How do you feel?” Steve asked as they walked over to the receptionist’s desk to schedule another appointment.

Ant shrugged. “I don’t know.  It was _weird_.  He was nice and all, but it was uncomfortable just talking about myself for an hour.  I didn’t really know what to say.”

“Yeah,” he agreed, “It took me a while to get used to that too.  You get over it though, I promise.”

Ant sighed, glancing over to the exit door.  “I’ll clean everything up when we get home.  I promise.”

Steve shrugged. “You don’t have to do it right away--”

“Phil said it might help,” Ant confessed.  “He said that by cleaning up my mess it’ll help me better realize the consequences of my actions or some shit like that.  Either way, it’s probably not a bad idea to tidy up.  Especially since your boyfriend’s coming over tomorrow.”

Steve had actually forgotten about Bucky’s visit in the chaos. “I can help if you want.  You don’t gotta do this alone, bud.”

“Maybe I should though,” Ant said, “I _did_ make the mess on my own.”

Steve chuckled. “You’ve got a point there.  Why don’t you go sit down while I schedule the next appointment?”

Ant sulked over to the couch, leaving Steve to wait at the desk, alone.  Steve watched his son anxiously.  He hoped everything that Ant was dealing with would work out; Steve knew that it wasn’t easy juggling the world on one’s shoulders.

When the receptionist returned to her desk, Steve quickly scheduled an appointment in two weeks.  He just wanted to bring Ant home and put the whole mess behind them.  He paid the copay fee before walking outside with his son.

* * *

 

The car ride home was relatively silent.  The two didn’t have much left to say to each other, and Steve rarely put any music on in the car.  When they pulled into the driveway, Steve was surprised to see Wanda Maximoff standing at the doorstep.  She was alone and there was no telling how long she’d been there.

Steve looked to his son. “You wanna talk to her?  ‘Cause if not, I’ll send her home--no questions asked.”

Ant sighed.  “I’ll talk to her.  Thanks, though, Pops.”

Steve nodded as they exited the car.  Steve smiled at the young girl as he walked into the house.  He looked at his phone.  So far there were only a few missed calls from Tony, and one from Bucky.  He made a mental note to call Bucky back later.  Right now he was too worried about his son.

He walked over to the fridge and pulled out some ice-cream from the freezer.  He figured it would probably be best if the ice-cream had some time to thaw out before they ate it.  Steve glanced out the window, Ant and Wanda appeared to be having a civil enough conversation.  There didn’t appear to be any yelling or fighting.  They seemed to be talking as peacefully as possible for two people in their situation.

His son’s hands were in his pockets and Wanda’s arms were crossed, they weren’t frantically waving their arms around or anything, which Steve chose to take as a good sign.

Steve looked away from the window, giving his son his privacy.  He walked over to his phone which was sitting on the counter.  He sent Bucky a quick text, explaining that he had a rough night and would call him in the morning.  Steve thanked his blessings that Bucky was so understanding of everything.  His boyfriend sent a quick response telling him to feel better, and offered to come over and help if need be.

Steve peered out the window again after reassuring Bucky that he was fine.  Ant and Wand appeared to be hugging.  He guessed the two of them worked their issues out, and it wasn’t long before Wanda’s father was picking her up again.

Ant reentered the house with a dopey smile on his face.

Steve snorted. “I guess things are looking up?”

“Yeah,” Ant said, grinning like an idiot.  “Things are fine… it was just a big misunderstanding.”

"Right between you and your _friend_.” Steve teased as he scooped some ice-cream into a bowl for his son.

Ant blushed. “Maybe you’re right.  Maybe she’s more than that.”  His face fell. “But I’m going to college soon and… who knows what’ll happen then.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Ant, I know I’m not really in a position to be giving you dating advice, but I don’t think not labeling it is gonna make it hurt any less if you go away to school.  At least if you ask her out, you’ll  always have the summer.  You won’t just be her ex-sort of something.”

Ant shrugged, taking the bowl of ice-cream.  “Yeah, maybe.  I don’t know.”

“Well, since you’re feeling better, you should get to work on that room once you’re done eating.  It ain’t gonna clean itself.” Steve said, serving himself some of the frozen treat.

“I’ll do it, I promise, Pops.” Ant said, “Scout’s honor.”

Steve snorted.  “You were a boy scout for two seconds.  You hated the outdoor stuff, you cried so hard in cub scouts the troop leader told us not to bring you back.”

“You and Dad were so easy to manipulate back then.  If that happened now, you’d probably recite the whole scout’s code or something and find a loophole to keep me there.”  Ant said eating some of his dinner.  “Instead, you guys just caved and took me home.”

Steve laughed.  “Sorry, I didn’t see the point in traumatizing you.  Besides your dad and I aren’t exactly the camping type.  I grew up in a city-- and your dad probably couldn’t handle being outdoors for more than a few hours.”

Ant nodded.  “You’re probably not wrong about that.”  He glanced back towards the staircase. “I guess I better go work on that now.  I’ll be down when I’m finished.”

“ _If_ you’re finished,” Steve said warningly.  “Look, kid, I’ve had a long day.  I’m probably gonna head to bed early tonight.  We’ve got a big day tomorrow.  Is Wanda coming?  I just wanna make sure I’ve got enough food--”

“I invited her,” Ant answered, “I guess we’ll see if she comes.”

Steve nodded.  He wasn’t going to push the subject.  “All right.  If she comes, she comes.  Why don’t you get a start on that room.  If I don’t see you before I head to bed, get a good night’s sleep.”

Ant smiled as he gave him one last hug.  “Okay, Pops.  I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Steve kissed his son’s forehead before Ant ducked out of the room and ran up the steps.  Steve sighed, watching his son disappear up the stairs.  He cleaned up the bowls that were used for ice-cream before he sat down on the couch.

He found himself drifting into sleep.  He looked over to the steps.  They were _so far away_.  It couldn’t hurt for him to take a small nap before heading up to bed.  He closed his eyes and let sleep consume him.

* * *

 

Steve awoke to a loud crash.  He bolted upright and looked at the time on the cable box.  It was three AM.  Steve got off the couch and looked around to see Ant.  He appeared to have fallen down the steps.  He ran over to his son who was thrashing around and mumbling.

“Ant, are you okay?  What happened, kiddo?” Steve asked, groggily trying to help his son up.

Ant just continued to flail his arms, until he let out a horrible shriek.  Steve grimaced.  Ant was having a night terror.  He used to get them all the time when he was younger, but this was the first time in a while Steve had seen his son go through this.

He picked up his son with some difficulty.  The boy was still fidgeting and struggling.  Steve put him down on the couch and tried to talk quietly and soothingly to calm his son.  Ant was screaming and thrashing, and Steve just tried to hold the boy there, and keep him from hurting himself.  He made a mental note to put the child-proof gate back up near the steps.  Ant was lucky that he didn’t get hurt--or worse from falling down the stairs.   

Steve shushed his son and tried to stroke the boy’s hair.  He couldn’t remember what used to work when Ant was younger.  He was too exhausted to think straight, mostly he just remembered Ant having to ride it out.  It was tough.  Ant was so little when it started; he and Tony had no idea what to do.  He thought Ant had grown out of them.

After what felt like hours, Ant became silent and his body stilled. He blinked a few times before sitting up.  He hissed grabbing his back and left leg.  “Pops?  What happened?  Ah--everything hurts.”

Steve shushed him lightly.  “It’s okay, kiddo.  It’s okay, baby boy, I’ve got you.  You had one of those night terrors--you fell down the steps.  Maybe, if you’re feeling up to it, you can walk around a bit?  Just to make sure you didn’t break anything.”

Ant gave a slight nod as he moved to get off the couch.  Steve watched closely as his son walked with a bit of a limp.  He turned back to his father and shrugged.

“It’s not that bad.  Just a little sore--thank god.”  He shook his head. “I hadn’t had that happen in a while.  I think I was twelve when I had my last night terror.  I’m pretty sure it was the night before you and Dad dropped me off in New York.  I was so nervous.”

Steve nodded back as Ant made his way back over to the couch.  “Yeah, I remember.  Thank God I was awake.  You almost gave your sisters a heart attack.”

Ant groaned. “Yeah--Stephie freaked out.  Tal was more annoyed that I woke her up than anything.”

Steve shook his head. “Nah. She was worried about you.  The whole way back from New York she kept saying ‘Papa, we can’t leave him there.  What if he has another freak out like last night?’  She worries more than she lets on.” _Like me_. He added mentally.

Ant groaned, looking back to the steps, “My room’s clean.  It looks really good.  I vacuumed up the rest of the shards from the mirror, and I threw out a bunch of stuff.  But… it looks good.”

“I don’t care about that right now, Ant.” Steve groaned. “Are you okay?  This isn’t because of the dinner tomorrow--or later on today--is it?”

“No, Pops,” Ant grunted, rubbing his leg, “I don’t think it’s that.  I think I had a really shitty day yesterday--”

“Watch your mouth, Anthony,” Steve added warningly.

Ant rolled his eyes as he continued. “I think I had a _bad_ day yesterday, and that this was the after effects of it.  It has nothing to do with your budding romance.”

Steve nodded.  “If you say so, short stuff.”

Ant chuckled.  “God, you haven’t called me that in _years_.  I’m really not _that_ short.”

“It’s not your fault, bud,” Steve said kissing the top of Ant’s head standing up.  “You got that from your dad.”

Ant pouted, as he began rubbing his back again.  Steve made his way into the kitchen.  He poured a glass of water for Ant and grabbed some Aspirin.  He walked back over to his son and handed him the glass and two pills.

"Take these.  They’ll help,” Steve ordered.

Ant complied, taking the items from Steve.  He swallowed the pills and drank most of the water before looking back to his father.  “Thanks, Pops.  I should be better in a couple of days.”

“Let me know if it gets worse.  I’ll make an appointment with that orthopedist that helped when Tal broke her ankle doing gymnastics.” Steve said, patting his son on the back. “I’m gonna head up for the night, do you need help getting back upstairs or are you gonna stay down here tonight?”

Ant stood up and limped over to the steps.  “I’ll go upstairs but I don’t think I need any help.”

Steve frowned. “At least, let me help you up the steps.  You took a bad fall, Ant.  I’m a little worried.”

His son rolled his eyes. “I’m _fine_ , Pops.  I promise.”

“If you say so.” Steve motioned for his son to go up the steps first.  This way if Ant fell, he could catch him or break his fall.

Ant headed up the steps.  He took his time, which took a while, but he was fine and got upstairs on his own.  Which was impressive in Steve’s opinion.  He watched as his son made his way into his bedroom.  

Steve then walked into the old guest room where they stored most of their junk.  He dug up an old child proof gate to block off the steps.  This way if Ant had another night terror he wouldn’t be able to fall down the stairs as easily.  He then made his way into his bedroom and fell asleep again.

* * *

When Steve woke up this time it was about 10 am.  He usually didn’t sleep in that late, but then again, he had woken up in the middle of the night.  He walked out of his room and went to wake up Ant.  If his son had it his way, he’d sleep all day long.

Steve opened Ant’s door.  He was pleasantly surprised to see that the bedroom had drastically improved from its condition the previous day.  The dresser was upright again, and thankfully there wasn’t any sort of damage to it.  His son must have thrown out the speakers and mirror because they were nowhere in sight.  The floor looked flawless and Steve had to admit, Anthony had really done a great job cleaning up the room.

Steve walked over to the bed and gave Ant a little nudge. “Time to wake up, kiddo.  We’ve got a big day ahead of us.”

Ant groaned. “Five more minutes, Pops.”

Steve snorted. “I’ll tell you what, I’ll start breakfast and you just make sure you’re downstairs before I’m done.”

Ant nodded, turning his head into the pillow.  “Okay, okay.  I’ll be down soon.”

Steve left the bedroom and went down the steps.  He walked into the kitchen and began making some waffles with chocolate chips, just like he used to make Ant when he was little.  Despite the unfortunate events of the day before, Steve was still glad that he got to have some alone time with his son.  Especially since it was becoming more and more evident that Ant was going to be somewhere pretty far for college.

Ant did make his way down the stairs, moaning and groaning with every step he took.  “I’m pretty sore from that spill.”

“Take some more Aspirin for now.  If it’s still bothering you tomorrow, I’ll take you to the doctor,” Steve said, handing his son a plate of waffles.

Ant shrugged as he walked over to the cabinet to get some of the pain relievers.  “I think I’ll be fine.  Nothing hurts too bad, so I doubt I’ve got any broken bones.  Plus,  I don’t think I hit my head or anything… thank _god_.  I must have _slipped_ down the steps.”

“Well either way, I’d rather you played it safe and be careful.  The last thing we need is to send you off to Harvard with a broken--” Steve paused, mentally kicking himself.  Ant wasn’t supposed to know that he knew about Harvard.

“Harvard?” Ant asked after a few moments of silence.  “Pops, I don’t know if you’ve been talking to Dad or--”

“Ant, I don’t care where you go to school. Just make sure it’s the right choice for you.” Steve lied through his teeth.  Of course he _cared_ where his son went to college.  He would have _loved_ it if Ant had chose somewhere on the West Coast to attend, but Steve certainly wouldn’t complain about his son going to Harvard.  It was one of, if not _the_ , best schools in the country.  Ant would be foolish to not at least consider going there.

Ant got smiled his signature smirk.  “Well in that case, Pops, I’ve been meaning to talk to you about Oxford.  Those Brits really--”

“Not a chance in hell,” Steve said, not even looking up from the waffle iron.  “My only requirement is you staying in the country.  I don’t even want you going to Canada.  Don’t joke like that, kid.”

Ant laughed. “Sorry, Pops.  I couldn’t resist.  You should have seen your face.”  He paused momentarily.  “But seriously, I _really_ haven’t made up my mind yet.  Dad is really pushing for Harvard, and I’m not gonna lie to you, Pops, it’s a tempting offer.  I do _however_ want to finish up my interviews before I make a decision.  I promise I won’t rush into anything.”

Steve shrugged.  “I trust you’ll make the right choice, Ant.”   _It just may not be the choice I want you to make._

“Thanks, Pops.” Ant gave his father a small smile.  “So what time is your boyfriend coming over?”

Steve groaned. “I told him around seven would be fine.  What did you tell Wanda?”

“Nothing,” Ant said bluntly, “I’m gonna text her now.”

“She’s not a vegetarian is she?” Steve asked. “Because I’m planning on making steak and potatoes.  I’ll pick up a salad if she needs.”

Ant shook his head. “Nah, I don’t think so.  I’ll ask to be sure, but I’m almost positive I’ve seen her eat meat.  I know Pietro does.”

Steve nodded as he took out the meat from the freezer, letting it defrost.  “You wanna help me with dinner?  Like when you were little.  I remember we used to have to put these plastic childproof things on the dials for the stove.  You wanted to prove to us that you could make breakfast like a big boy, and long story short it’s a miracle that your dad smelled the gas.”

Ant snickered. “In my defense, I was two.  But, yeah.  I’ll help.  Maybe I can make the potatoes.”

Steve smiled. “Thanks, kiddo.  I appreciate it.”  He was really just glad to spend some more time with his son, but it would definitely be less work with Ant’s help.

* * *

 

The rest of the day was mostly spent cleaning the house.  Maybe it was his old military roots, but Steve had to have the house spotless whenever they were expecting company.  Then he and Ant spent some time cooking dinner.  It really didn’t take too long to prepare, since they had both made this meal before.  It was only a matter of time before their guests arrived.

Steve and Ant were both sitting anxiously in the living room.  Steve also couldn’t get over the fact that he was going to be on a double date… with his _son_.  Not too many people had that problem.

The doorbell rang and Steve and Ant shared a look before Steve stood up to answer the door.  He prayed it was Bucky and not Wanda.  

He opened the door and sure enough there stood Wanda Maximoff.  Her smile faltered slightly as she saw him.

“Hello Mr. Rogers.  Thank you for having me.”

Steve smiled back politely. “We’re happy to have you, Wanda.  Ant’s inside.” He motioned back to the living room as Wanda entered the house.

Ant stood up, clearly nervous as he saw the girl. “H-h-hey.  You look, amazing.  Can I get you some soda or--or something?”

Steve bit back a laugh.  It was oddly comforting to see Ant like this.  He took after Tony is so many ways, it was nice to see that he wasn’t some natural ladies man.  He wished he got to see this more vulnerable side of his son more often.

She smiled back.  “No thank you, I’m fine for now.”

The three of them stood there awkwardly for a few moments before Steve spoke up.  “You know what?  Why don’t you two, put on the TV or something and I’ll finish up dinner?”

Ant let out a sigh of relief. “Ye--yes.  That sounds like a great idea, Pops.  We’ll just go… do that.”

Steve shook his head as Ant and Wanda walked further into the living room, and he made his way into the kitchen.  He looked at the clock, it wasn’t quite seven yet, he just hoped Bucky would arrive soon.  He did not want to be left with Ant and Wanda.

He took the food out of the oven.  It was done and Steve had to admit the meal looked delicious.  Suddenly, the doorbell rang a second time.  Steve ecstatically made his way over to the door, relieved that Ant hadn’t gone to open it.

Steve opened the door and there was Bucky, standing there holding a chocolate cake with some bread and a bottle of wine.  Steve smiled as he stepped outside and kissed him.

Bucky smiled back.  “Not that I’m complaining or anything but… my hands are kinda full right now.”

“Right! Sorry.” Steve said, taking the cake and wine from Bucky.  “Before we go in, though, I should just warn you.  My son’s sort-of girlfriend is here, and he had a really rough day yesterday.  If he’s acting weird, it’s just because of all that.”

“No problem.”  Bucky shrugged.  “I told you, I didn’t expect this to be easy.  I can take whatever he’ll throw at me.  I promise I won’t go running for the hills.”

“You say that now,” Steve teased as he showed his boyfriend inside the house.  

The pair walked inside, and Steve glanced anxiously into the living room.  Ant was watching them from the couch, while Wanda was sitting, idly watching the television.  This was probably going to be one of the most uncomfortable dinners of Steve’s life.

He took the bread from Bucky and put it and the cake on the counter.  Steve then took hold of Bucky’s right hand and led him into the living room.  He cleared his throat, as Ant’s eyes met his.  Wanda looked to Ant nervously.  Clearly unsure of what to do in this unprecedented situation.

“Dinner’s ready,” Steve said.  

He _had_ wanted to say something else, something more along the lines of ‘ _Look who’s here’_ or _‘Ant you remember Bucky, right?’_ Something to clearly indicate that Steve was happy-- no over the freaking moon- that Bucky was here.  He wanted to say something to convey how unbelievably happy he had been in the past few weeks since he had started seeing the other man.  Unfortunately when he met Ant’s eyes all his saw was… discomfort.  He didn’t want to add to that.

There was an awkward pause before Wanda was the one to speak up.  “... Great!”  She nudged Ant slightly with her arm, “If your cooking is anywhere near as good as your baking, I can’t wait to try it.”

Ant perked up following Wanda’s lead. “Oh yeah, Pops is like the best chef in the country.”

Ant was going to leave it at that but then he caught Wanda’s eyes, and she gave him a disapproving look.  He sighed as he shook Bucky’s hand begrudgingly. “Nice to see you again, Bucky.  Pops… and I have been… really excited about this.  It should be… easier to get to know each other.  You know, without all the other people around… like at the party.”

Bucky nodded.  “Yeah, definitely.  I’ve been looking forward to it too.  It’s presenting a rare opportunity.  According to Steve, you’re insanely busy most of the time, and I hear you’re going off to college soon.”

“Yup.” Ant said popping the ‘p’ sound.  

Steve’s heart fell.  He knew Ant wasn’t being intentionally rude or anything.  He knew that the situation was all kinds of uncomfortable for everyone but… if any of his kids knew how to put on a show it was Ant, and Steve found himself wishing that Ant would do that now.  All he wanted was for Ant to flash his signature smile and act like everything that was happening was the most fascinating thing in the world.  It didn’t look like he was going to be that lucky.

“Right,” Steve cut in hoping to diffuse the tension.  “Why don’t we go sit down and eat.”

“Great idea,” said Ant enthusiastically.

Bucky and Steve headed into the dining room first.  Wanda and Ant held back for a moment. They appeared to be having some sort of a hushed argument.  Steve could hear Wanda saying things along the lines of ‘ _Be on your best behavior’_ and _‘Just suck it up for your father’_.  Ant was answering back with things like ‘ _C’mon this is weird_ ’ and ‘ _How am I supposed to act?  He’s dating my Pops.’_

Steve grimaced as he and Bucky set the table.  Steve looked to Bucky apologetically.

Bucky spoke up.  “Relax, Stevie.  This is supposed to be awkward.  He’s not supposed to like me.  His job is to ‘question my motives’ and make sure that I’m not some creep.  I get it.  If some guy just showed up and started dating either of my parents… I wouldn’t be his number one fan either.”

“I know, I know,” Steve relented.  “I just wanted this to be perfect.”

Bucky laughed as he walked around the table and pecked Steve’s lips affectionately.  “I hate to break it to you, Rogers, but that was _never_ gonna happen.”

Steve gave a small smile as he looked down and leaned his forehead against his boyfriend’s.  “You’re right.  I guess it was just wishful thinking on my part.  I’m really glad you’re here though.  I’ve missed you.”

Bucky gave a quiet chuckle.  “You just saw me a few days ago.  It really hasn’t been that long.  But… I know what you mean.  Me too.  Phone calls aren’t quite the same are they?”

Steve shook his head, separating it from Bucky’s.  “Definitely not.  We should try to do lunch during the week or something.”

Bucky smirked. “Will you _actually_ let me take you out, or are you gonna insist on making some five course meal or something.”

Steve laughed. “Or _I_ could take _you_ out.  It was _my idea_ afterall.”

Bucky shrugged.  “Maybe we’ll switch?  You do one week, I’ll do the other.”

“I could get behind that idea,” Steve agreed.  “I’m not some freeloader.”

Bucky laughed again, kissing Steve one last time before Ant and Wanda walked in. “No one was saying that.”

“No one was saying what?” Ant asked as he and Wanda entered the room.

Steve sighed. “Don’t worry about it, kid. You missed the whole conversation.”

They sat down to eat.  Ant and Wanda were on one end of the table, and Steve and Bucky were on the other.  Initially dinner just consisted of silent eating with the occasional compliment to the food.  

Finally, after a few moments of sitting there in silence, Ant spoke up.  “So… you’re an architect?  How did you get into that?”

“Well I was really into drawing, and then when I got medically discharged from the army, I went back to school and found architecture.  I didn’t really pursue it right away, though.  I had a hard time finding a firm, it’s a hard business to get into so I got pretty discouraged at first.  Then I met Sam, and he really hooked me up with this job.  What are you thinking about majoring in?” Bucky responded with a friendly attitude.  Steve was just happy they were talking to each other.

Ant shrugged. “I haven’t really made up my mind yet.  For a while I was thinking of going pre-law, but now I’m not so sure.  I… I want to help people.  I’m just not too sure what the right path to that is yet.”

“You don’t have to go in with a five year plan,”  Bucky said, “You’ve still got plenty of time to weigh your options.  I know people who switched majors several times before finding what they wanted to do.  You _really_ don’t have to go in knowing what you want to do for the rest of your life.”

Ant nodded before looking back down at his empty plate.  He opened his mouth to speak again, but hesitated before saying, “I’ve gotta be blunt here.”

Steve held his breath.  It was going _well_ as well as to be expected anyway.  What could Ant possibly have to complain about.

“Look,” Ant took a deep breath, “I know I don’t know you very well--”

“Anthony--” Wanda hissed warningly as she gave Steve an apologetic look.

Ant waved at her dismissively as he continued. “I’m not around a lot.  I’m probably going to go away to school, and, even when I am home, I’m running all over the place.  It isn’t likely that I’ll ever get to _really_ know you.  I’m not sure what exactly you’re intentions are here with my Pops.  Maybe you want to settle down someday, maybe you just wanna get laid.  I don’t know.”  He paused not breaking eye contact with Bucky.  Steve thought he was going to die right then and there.  He couldn’t believe what Ant was doing.  

Ant continued, unfaltering.“But… I have to admit, my father has never been happier since he’s started seeing you.  He’s been a lot less mopey, more positive.  He’s finally focusing on himself for once.  So… thank you… for doing that for him. Just… _please_ don’t hurt my father.  He’s gone through enough already.”

Bucky nodded. “I have no intention of hurting him.  I promise.  He’s… made me a lot happier too.”

Bucky turned to look at Steve, his eyes full with an expression that Steve could only categorize as… adoration.  No--as _love_.  Steve started grinning like an idiot, and he saw Wanda finally release a breath she had been holding in since Ant started talking.

Wanda turned to Ant before saying quietly, “That was very sweet of you, Anthony.”

The rest of the evening went on without a hitch.  Everyone had been laughing and joking around.  Dessert went well, Ant _loved_ the cake.  It wasn’t long before Wanda was heading home, and Ant went upstairs to hide in his room for the evening.

Bucky was helping Steve clean up the rest of the dishes and dessert. “See, that wasn’t so bad.”  Bucky smiled, placing the last dish into the sink.  “I thought he was gonna tell me to hit the road.”

Steve shook his head as he leaned back against the counter.  “I think he likes you… he may not admit it but, you should have seen how he reacted to meeting Sunset for the first time.”

Bucky shrugged as he walked over to Steve. “Well, that was _a little_ different.”

“Yeah, well, still,” Steve sighed.  “tonight actually went pretty well.”

Bucky stood in front of Steve, and put his hands on the slightly taller man’s hips.  “Apparently, I make you happy.”

Steve laughed, draping his arms around the shorter man’s neck.  “Don’t let that go to your head.  If I remember correctly, you said that _I_ make _you_ pretty happy too.”

Bucky hummed as he leaned in, meeting Steve’s lips with his own.  They kissed passionately as Steve moved his hands from Bucky’s neck to the man’s hair, tugging him in closer and closer until they were practically glued together.  They stayed like that for a few moments, kissing each other, until finally Bucky pulled away.

He breathed heavily.  “Your son’s upstairs.”

Steve shook his head.  “I don’t care,” he said, reclaiming the other man’s lips.  He pulled away to clarify, “I walked in in him and Wanda doing this yesterday.  We might as well give him a taste of his own medicine.”

Bucky laughed as he detached himself from Steve.  “Well, number one, your son just started to _not_ hate me.  I don’t wanna mess that up.  Number two, I don’t want our first time to be on your kitchen counter.”

Steve chuckled as he shrugged.  “I don’t know.  I feel more at home in this kitchen than I do in my own bedroom.”

“Well hopefully you won’t be saying that once we’re finished with the renovations.  Also an interior designer could help.” Bucky suggested, picking up his keys.

Steve groaned. “Don’t tell me you’re leaving already.”

“Some of us don’t have the luxury of being our own bosses.  I have to be at work bright and early tomorrow, but maybe I can take you out for lunch?  I think I’m gonna get off early since Sam needs to talk to the contractors.” Bucky said, kissing Steve again.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, that sounds good.  Ant is gonna be at some college interview anyway.”

“Oh,” Bucky smirked. “So there shouldn’t be any interruptions this time around.”

“God, I hope not.” Steve rolled his eyes.  He looked longingly at his boyfriend.  “Do you really have to go?  Maybe you could… stay the night?”

Bucky took a deep sigh. “I’d really like to, but again your son is here.  Maybe, if Tony has the kids one night, I can take you to dinner by the ocean, and rent a hotel room for the evening.  I’m sure that’d be a lot more memorable and meaningful than hooking up on your kitchen counter.”

Steve felt heat rush to his cheeks and he cursed himself for his light complexion.  “I don’t know, Buck.  I’m not exactly someone you need to pull out all the stops for.  It ain’t my first time or anything--”

“But what if I _wanted_ to pull out all the stops?  I mean you spend all your time taking care of other people.  Shouldn’t someone take care of you every now and again?” Bucky asked smoothly.

Steve shrugged, trying to play it off.  “I don’t need to be taken care of.  I can take care of myself just fine.”

Bucky looked into his eyes.  “Yeah, the thing is…  you don’t have to.”

Steve opened his mouth to respond, when Ant came back downstairs.  

“Oh, hey.” Ant said, looking between his father and Bucky.  “I didn’t realize you were still here.  Not that I’m saying you should go, I just--I thought--I’ll leave you two alone.”

“No need,” Bucky said as he gave Steve’s shoulder a light pat.  “I was on my way out anyway.  It was good seeing you again, Anthony.” He pointed to Steve. “I’ll see you tomorrow, alright?”

“Get home safe, Sergeant.” Steve teased as Bucky turned around, giving him a salute.  Steve snorted as he watched the other man get into a car and drive away.

“He seems nice,”  Ant said quietly.  “Look, Pa, before you get mad at me for what I said--”

He was cut off by Steve pulling his son into a bone-crushing hug.  “Thanks for looking out for me, kid.”  He messed with his son’s hair.  “I appreciate it.”

Ant smirked as he headed back upstairs for bed, before saying, “Of course, Pops.  That’s my job.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [Tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took me so long to update, guys! I've been working on the chapter after this (the flashback chapter) and it has taken me way longer than I anticipated, so tonight I finally made myself edit this chapter for you guys, I hope you like it :D

The next morning had a slow and lazy beginning… until Ant ran down the steps announcing that he had to go meet Bruce at his laboratory.

“Pops--Pops!  Guess what!  Uncle Bruce said he was gonna introduce me to one of the members of Stanford’s admission board!”

Steve practically choked on his coffee. “Look, I’ll take you down there in a little bit, just relax, and have some breakfast.”

Ant frowned. “Pops. I thought you’d be excited about this. Stanford is exceptionally closer than Harvard and--”

Steve snorted.  “Nice try, kid.  Unless Bruce said that it was a matter of life and death, and that there is no chance that this admissions board member will be in the lab later on, you will eat some breakfast and brush your teeth.  Then after that, I will take you down to the lab to meet that guy.”

“Fine, fine.” His son relented as he went into the cabinet and pulled out some cereal.  Steve rolled his eyes.  He could cook anything on God’s green Earth, but his kids always insisted he keep cereal in the house.

Ant ingested the cereal at a rapid pace before racing upstairs, undoubtedly to brush his teeth and get dressed.  Steve grimaced as he finished up his coffee.  Clearly his son wasn’t going to be patient.

Steve made his way up the steps to brush his teeth and change.  While he wasn’t exactly rushing, he was not in the mood to argue with his son either.  

Steve took care of his business quickly before making his way back downstairs.  Just as he expected Ant was standing by door, his hair spiked up slightly with gel, and Steve had to do a double check.  He _really_ did look like Tony in his formal outfit, with the sunglasses and the hair all done… it was almost like looking at a younger version of his ex.

“I guess you’re ready,” Steve said, grabbing his car keys.

Ant nodded, clearly agitated.  “Yeah, let’s go!  I want to get there early enough so Uncle Bruce can give me some pointers first.”

“I doubt he is going to just feed you to the sharks,” Steve said as they exited the house. “Besides, if the guy is going into the lab, he’s probably doing some sort of research and ideally would be there for a little while.”

Ant frowned. “Not unless he’s overseeing something or getting some data from his intern or--”

“Alright, I get it.  I’m taking you over there right now.” Steve groaned.

" _Thank you_.” Ant said, a hint of annoyance in his voice.  Steve chose to ignore it for now. They’d have a nice chat about that later.

Steve dropped Anthony off at the lab.  He watched his son enter the building and it looked like Bruce had been waiting for him, which was a relief.

 He was heading back to the house when his phone started ringing.  He answered through the Bluetooth speakers in his car.  “Hello?”

“Hey, Stevie.  Good morning,” Bucky said brightly on the other end of the phone.

“You too,” he responded automatically.  “What’s up?”

Bucky hummed. “Well, I was hoping I could swing by your place, and pick you up.  Then I could take you out for lunch.  Like we talked about, yesterday.”

“Sure.” Steve smiled into the phone. “When do you get out of work?  Yesterday, you mentioned that you may get off early today.”

He heard Bucky moving around what he assumed were papers on the other end of the phone.  “Umm, I’m thinking I’ll get out around noon, give or take?  I’ll call you when I’m on my way to get you.  But fair warning, I doubt anywhere I take you, will be as good as your cookin’.”

Steve was glad the Bucky couldn’t see his face at the moment.  He was sure that he was blushing, he could only imagine how red his face had become.  “Yeah--that sounds like fun.  I’m not a picky eater, I swear.  I grew up eating mostly spam and that canned stuff, you insist on eating.  So long as you’re not taking me to some _Chef Boyardee_ wannabe, I’ll be fine.”

Bucky snorted. “Don’t worry about that, hon.  I do have _some_ class.”

Steve tried not to laugh over the ridiculousness of  the petname.  It had been a _long_ time since anyone had used a term of endearment in relation to him.  He really wasn’t sure how he felt about it. “No one ever said you didn’t, Sarge.”

Bucky sighed.  “Regardless, I wanna take you some place nice… _Captain_.”

Steve groaned. “Are you _really_ going to give me a hard time about the petname thing?”

“No,” Bucky laughed. “I see you caught that, though.”

“Yeah, and I don’t know.  I’ve never been that guy who uses the cutesie pet names and stuff.   I’m not… affectionate like that, and I never was.  I’m sorry if that bothers you but--”

“Relax, Steve.” Bucky chuckled.  “If it makes you uncomfortable it’s not a big deal.”

Steve sighed. “It’s not that… it’s just… _new_ to me.  I just-- have to get used to all that.  Tony and I didn’t really bother with that.  At most he’d call me ‘babe’ to get my attention.  And that was _years_ ago for me.  I just--I forgot about some of the little things.”

Bucky laughed again.  “It’s fine, Steve.  Seriously, I don’t give a shit what you call me… as long as it’s not something insulting.”

“Of course not,” Steve teased.  “I’ll see you later?”

“Absolutely, I’ll call you when I get out of work.  Is Ant around, because he’s more than welcome to join us,” Bucky suggested.

Steve shook his head.  “Nah, he’s meeting someone on the board of admissions at Stanford.  I think he’s just going to this meeting for my benefit but… he’s not gonna be around.  Maybe after lunch we can go back to my place--”

“Steve, just like pet names are weird for you, the… sex stuff is kind of weird for me.  I don’t know about you but I haven’t exactly had a lot of practice since Brock left.  I mean, there really aren’t a lot of people jumping to hook up with an amputee with poor manners… unless it’s some weird kink, which isn’t something I was looking for either,” Bucky confessed.  “I’m just a little nervous about doing that stuff.  I want to-- believe me, I do.  I just don’t want--”

“No offense, Buck, but what’s the plan?  I hope this isn’t the part where you say you want to see other people so you can ‘practice.’  Trust me, I haven’t had too much… ‘practice’ either.  I mean after Tony left, I really wasn’t dating.”  It wasn’t a complete lie.  Other than his recent excursions with Tony, he really hadn’t had sex at all since the divorce.  He had three kids to raise and he certainly had his fair share of trust issues.

“What so you’re the only one allowed to have some reservations?  No--I’m not gonna get more ‘practice.’ I just want to make sure that it _means something_.  This way, even if it’s not too great, it’s not that big of a deal, because the meaning behind it is more important.”

“I hear you loud and clear,” Steve said, and he did.  He really did understand where Bucky was coming from.  Normally, he would even agree but, there was something about Bucky.  Steve already knew that whatever they did or didn’t do would mean something.  Maybe he was just desperate for companionship, but he really felt like what he and Bucky had was something special, despite the short period of time they had been together.

“I’m glad.  Look, I’m not trying to be some prudish schoolgirl or some shit like that.  I just… I don’t want us to rush into anything.  I really like you, Steve.  I don’t wanna mess it up.” Bucky clarified, “Hopefully, if all goes well, we’ll have plenty of time to ‘practice’ together.”

Steve snorted. “I hope you’re right, Sergeant.”

“Maybe that can be our _terms of endearment_ for each other.  The Captain and his Sergeant.  It works for two military guys like ourselves,” Bucky suggested.

Steve paused for a moment.  “Yeah, I guess.  It’s just-- some of my friends have a tendency to call me that.  It’s not necessarily--”

"Yeah, but when _I_ say it, you’ll know it’s my own way of saying that I love you and--” Bucky stopped abruptly and Steve held his breath.

All Steve could hear echoing in his head was _‘I love you’_ over and over again.  It was music to his ears, but he definitely wasn’t expecting Bucky to say that so soon.  There was silence the only thing that could be heard was Bucky’s breathing echoing through the phone.

“You too,” Steve said awkwardly, “I wasn’t gonna say anything, since you know, you wanted to take it slow.  But--um-- yeah.   I-- I love you… too.”

There was another pause and Steve began to panic.   _Clearly, Bucky didn’t mean to say it.  What if he didn’t even mean it?  What if the whole thing was just a misunderstanding and then Steve was professing his love for no reason.  God--why did he have to open his big mouth?  Things were going so well_.

“I--” Bucky said from the other end of the phone.  He heard a sigh and Steve braced himself for the worst. “I’m glad. I--I hope you didn’t just say that because I did.  I really didn’t mean to say something like that so soon.  I wasn’t gonna say anything--”

“Did you mean it?” Steve asked quietly. “Because if not, we can just pretend that neither of us said anything.  No big deal.  People say stuff they don’t mean all the time.” _Like wedding vows_ , he thought bitterly.  “Just don’t start our relationship off, by telling me something you don’t mean and not coming clean because you were worried about hurting me or somethign stupid like that.  I’m a big boy, I can handle it.”

Bucky sighed.  “Of course I meant it… _Captain_.  I just-- I still wanna take things slow.  We still hardly know each other.  But…yeah… I meant it.  I guess you did too.”

“Yeah--yeah.  Obviously.  I’m surprised you didn’t know already.  I mean, my facial expressions usually give me away.  I’m not subtle, which has certainly gotten me into trouble a few times,” Steve joked lightly.  “Yeah, I’ve still got no problem with us taking it slow.  I get that there’s still a lot we need to learn about each other.”

Bucky released what Steve assumed to be a sigh of relief.  “I’ve gotta go, _Captain_.  Sam is gonna have a fit if he comes in and I’m on the phone.  I’ll call you later, Stevie.”

“I’m looking forward to it, Sergeant,” Steve responded, his smile so wide that his jaw was actually beginning to ache.  He heard Bucky hang up the phone.  His smile didn’t falter the rest of the way home.

The rest of the morning dragged by as Steve waited for either Bucky or Ant to call.  Steve had become increasingly impatient.   He hated being left alone.

He considered heading down to the bakery, but he had called and Dugan said that everything was under control.  That meant that there was really no need to go down there given that he had finished up the paperwork for the month.

Finally, after really only two hours, Bucky texted him telling Steve that he was on his way.  Steve was ecstatic, yet slightly nervous.  It was odd seeing Bucky after the two had just confessed their feelings for each other, over the phone no less.

It wasn’t long before Bucky was in Steve’s driveway.  Steve nervously made his way out the door.  He gave Bucky a strained smile as he entered the car.  “Hey,” he said quietly.

“Hi,” Bucky answered.  “The restaurant isn’t far from here and--”

Steve cut him off, awkwardly crashing their lips together.  The position was clumsy to say the least, but in that moment, it just felt like the right thing to do.  Bucky must have agreed, given that he managed to reposition himself so his body was facing Steve without breaking the kiss.

After a few moments they broke apart, trying to catch their breath.  “I think we should say hello like that more often,” Bucky teased, as Steve fastened his seatbelt.

Steve felt his face flush. “Sorry, it just-- we just-- I think _most_ people would kiss after they… said what we said.”

Bucky snorted.  “Well apparently you only believe in saying it the one time.”

Steve felt his face get even redder.  “No… I just thought saying it again right now, would only be redundant.”

“Sure you did,”  Bucky teased. “I just _love_ how you _considerate_ you are of those things.”

“Bite me, Barnes,” Steve teased back.  “You didn’t exactly say it either.”

Bucky chuckled. “ _You_ didn’t really give me a chance to, before you planted one on me.  How is a guy supposed to say anything when his _gorgeous_ boyfriend is attached to his face?  Besides, we wouldn’t want to be _redundant_.”  He winked.

“So where are we going?” Steve asked as Bucky pulled out of the driveway.

He smirked. “Well this time, I’m not taking you to your own bakery.  But if you own a restaurant now would be a good time to fess up.”

Steve put his hand up jokingly.  “Nope.  No restaurants to speak of.  Just the bakery.”

“It’s just this little Italian place.  I think you’ll like it,”  Bucky responded.  “It’s pretty good.”

“Cool,” Steve said.  “I’m sure it’s great.”

They arrived at the restaurant in no time.  They were sat relatively quickly, and their food got done in record time,  Steve had to admit, the food was delicious, and the company was even better.  There was no residual awkwardness between the pair and things were going well.

It wasn’t long before Steve’s phone was ringing.  He looked down at the caller ID and began to groan.  “It’s Ant,” he explained.  “He probably needs a ride home.”

Bucky nodded. “We can pick him up on my way to drop you off at home.”

Steve nodded back as he answered the phone.  “Hey, kiddo--”

“Pops, you need to get down to the lab!  Dad’s here--”

“Ant, if your dad’s there, then he can drive you home.  I”m a little busy right--”

“No, Pop, you don’t understand.  He’s here with Steph and Tal,” Ant said frantically.

Steve’s face contorted into a confused expression.  “I don’t understand.  Ant, that’s not possible, your sisters are at camp.  They don’t get home until Friday night.”

“I think I know my own sisters when I see them, Pop!” Ant said, clearly worried.  “You should get down here.  I can only think of one reason why Dad would bring them to a lab.”

Steve’s heart stopped.   _Of course_.  Tony was taking Stephanie to get the paternity test.  He really shouldn’t have been surprised.  “I’ll be right there.  Just calm down.”

Steve hung up the phone and looked hopelessly to Bucky.  “You should probably drop me at home.  Ant said that the girls and Tony are there.  I really don’t want to drag you into this--”

“Look, I can stay in the car.  But it’ll probably be quicker for me to take you there.  The lab is right around the corner.  But I get it.  This is a family thing.  If you don’t want me there, I completely understand,” Bucky said with a smile.

Steve considered this.  He wanted to get over there as quickly as possible.  Tony and the girls could leave at any moment.  But he _really_ didn’t want Bucky to be involved in this.  The last thing he needed was an altercation between his ex and his new boyfriend.

“Uhhh, yeah sure,” he relented.  He needed to know what Tony was up to. “I appreciate it.”

Bucky smiled as he paid for the meal (much to Steve’s displeasure), and they exited the restaurant. Steve sat in the car anxiously as Bucky drove them around the corner to the laboratory.  Usually it would have only taken them about five minutes to get there, but they happened to hit every. single. red light.

After what felt like hours, but in reality was only about ten minutes, they arrived at the lab.  Steve unbuckled his seatbelt before turning to his boyfriend.  “Do you mind waiting in here?  I don’t want this to be anymore weird for you than it already is.”

Bucky shrugged.  “I’m good waiting in the car.  If you need anything, just send me a text or something.”

Steve smiled gratefully.  “Thank you, Bucky.”  He ran out of the car and into the lab.  Upon entering the lobby, he immediately saw Ant, who looked like a mess.

“Hey, bud.  I’m here, what’s up?” Steve looked around, if Tony was here he wasn’t in sight.

Ant looked up at his father. “I’ll show you.”

His son led him to another area of the laboratory.  They walked through the halls until, Ant opened one of the doors.  It appeared to be a waiting room.  Steve’s eyes studied the crowd until his gaze fell on Tony.  He _was_ there… _with the girls_.

Steve angrily walked over to them.  Before he was quite there, Tony’s eyes fell on him.  His face fell.  “Shit.”  He muttered quietly.

“Tony,” Steve hissed angrily.  “Can I have a word please?”

“Papa!” Steph exclaimed anxiously, “What are you doing here.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “I think I should be asking you the same question!  For crying out loud, you two are supposed to be at camp.”

“Tell me about it.” Natalia said crossing her arms.  “Apparently Dad never actually signed us up.”

Steve looked back to his ex-husband, if looks could kill….

“Steve, I can explain--”

“I don’t wanna hear it, Stark.  You _lied_ to me about the location of our children.  Do you have any idea how messed up that is?  It’s not even like it’s _your week_ to have them--”

Tony fought back in a hushed whisper.  “It is _never_ my week.  Congratulations-- you _won_ the custody battle--”

Steve scoffed.  “We all know _why_ that is.  You did it to yourself.  Besides, when is the last time I told you you couldn’t take the kids?  I mean for Christ’s sake, Tony, I even let you take them to New York for Ant’s graduation,  I lost money on those plane tickets, but I let you have them because I know that you don’t get to see them as much.  You could have just asked to have them for the week.  I wouldn’t have said no!”  He glanced around at the other people in the waiting room.  “We should really take this outside.”

Tony shook his head. “No, we’re waiting for Steph’s results.”

“I can stay here with Steph and Tal,” Ant suggested.  “This way you two can work out your shit, and we can still get the results.”

Tony looked as if he was just noticing Ant for the first time.  “Fine!”  He groaned. “Your Pops and I will be right outside.”

Steve and Tony walked into the hallway.  The moment the door closed behind him Steve went off.  “You have no idea how lucky you are that I didn’t decide to call the police!”

“ _Police_?  For what exactly?  For spending time with my kids--”

“For _kidnapping_ your kids!” Steve roared.  “I gave you permission to send them to camp-- _not_ to take them for the week!”

Tony began waving his arms around.  “Hello!  You just said that you would have given me permission if I asked--”

“But you _didn’t_ ask!  Anything could have happened to them, and I would have just thought they were safe and sound at camp!” Steve snapped.

Tony’s eyes widened in anger.  “What kind of father do you think I am?  I wouldn’t let--”

“I think you’re the kind of father who would _kidnap_ his children!”

Tony rolled his eyes.  “I think you’re being a _bit_ melodramatic, Steve.”

“I can’t believe you brought Stephanie here!” Steve ignored his ex.  “I told you, that she and I had an agreement.  Trust me, if you knew why she was doing this, you wouldn’t have taken her.”  It was a low blow, but Steve was angry and the last thing he wanted was to let Tony win this fight.

“What the hell does that mean?” Tony asked.

“Ask Stephanie,”  Steve said venomously. “Apparently she’s _mature_ enough to make this decision regardless of the reason.”

Tony groaned. “You know I only brought her here to prove a point to you!”

“And what was that, Stark?  Was the point that you’re a far worse father than I thought?  Because believe me, you proved that,” Steve said icily.

“Hey!  I’m a great father.  I love my kids,”  Tony shot back.  “I actually trust them to make the right decision.”

“And that’s where you’re wrong! They’re kids. They can’t make these kinds of decisions yet!”

“ _Yes_ they can!” Tony argued.  “I’m not saying they should have the nuclear codes at their disposal, but if Steph wants to find out who her biological father is, she should be able to make that decision.  Besides that’s not what you’re really upset about.”

Steve laughed cynically.  “Please enlighten me, Tony.  Why am I really upset about this?”

“Because you can’t handle the fact that your favorite child might be _mine_!” Tony hissed.

Steve shook his head.  “That’s bull, Tony.  I don’t have a ‘favorite child’, and besides, I don’t love Ant any less despite the fact that he’s clearly your biological son!”

Tony laughed. “God, we should not be fighting over this.  I did this for _you_.”

Steve scoffed.  “How the hell is this supposed to be for me?”

“Well, it’s not technically, it’s for _us_.” Tony sighed.  “God, don’t you see?  Once we get these test results in and you see that our ‘miracle baby’ that you have no idea how she turned out so sweet and wonderful, came from me.  How could you not want to get our family back together?”

“You’re getting back together?” said a voice quietly.  They turned to the door that led to the waiting room.  There stood Ant, Stephanie, and Natalia.

Steve sighed.  “No…  we’re not.”

“Not yet--” Tony tried to say, before catching Steve’s eye.  “Or… ever.”

“Why would you say that then, Dad?” Stephanie asked.  “Why would you say that Papa didn’t want to get the family back together?”

“Yeah?” Ant asked. “I mean he was the one who wanted to fix everything.  Last I checked _you_ were the one who didn’t want to fix our family.”

Tony sighed.  “Because your Pops and I have been seeing each other.”

Steve’s eyes widened as he looked at Tony.

“What’s the matter, Steve?  I thought you were always one for honesty?” Tony said angrily.

Steve’s eyes narrowed.  “I don’t think this is the time or place, Tony.”

“Pa, what the hell is he talking about?”  Stephanie asked, clearly frustrated.  “Have you two been…” She turned back to Tony.  “Is that why Sunset left?”

Steve laughed incredulously. “Wow.   _She_ left _you_?  Is that why you’re doing this?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “She has nothing to do with this.”

“Rewind please,” Ant snapped.  “Are you or are you _not_ sleeping together?”

Steve grimaced.  “No… not anymore.”

Ant and Natalia’s faces fell, clearly disappointed.  However, Stephanie’s face lit up.  “So then… you _are_ getting back together?”  Her smile widened.  “This is amazing.  Dad, Papa hasn’t changed anything since you left.  It’s gonna be just like how it used to be--”

“We’re not getting back together, Stephanie,” Steve said quietly, looking down at his shoes.  “I’m sorry, sweetie.  Things are over between your dad and me.”

She looked between the two of them, and her happy expression began to crumble.  She looked to Tony.  “Dad… is that true?”

Tony nodded, sadly looking down.

Stephanie’s expression hardened.  She turned around on her heels and ran out of the laboratory, clutching her unopened results in her hand.  Natalia and Ant followed after her, not looking back at either of their parents.

Steve turned back to his ex.  “I’m taking the kids with me.  If you have a problem with that, you can call my goddamned lawyer, Matt Murdock.  Otherwise, I have nothing to say to you.”  He didn’t give Tony a chance to respond, he just followed after his children and didn’t even glance back

When he exited the building he saw Bucky--he had almost forgotten about his wonderful boyfriend who was waiting in the car.  He wasn’t alone though, he was talking… to Steve’s children.  Steve felt a sense of dread build up inside him.  He could only imagine what they were telling him.

Steve raced over to them.  Bucky wouldn’t even meet his eyes.  Steve sighed as he looked to the kids.  “Get in the car,” he said quietly. Much to his surprise they listened and Bucky finally faced him.

“Bucky, I can explain--” He began.

"I don’t think now’s a good time, Steve,”  Bucky said, turning away from him again.  “Unless you’re gonna tell me that your kids are lying and you haven’t been sleeping with your ex-husband, I don’t think there’s much for you to say.”

Steve fidgeted a bit.  “It was over before you and I got together--”

“Was it over before I came over when you were having some sort of a breakdown?”  Bucky demanded.

It was Steve’s turn to look away.  “I ended it that day.  Before you came over.”

Bucky shook his head.  “Unbelievable.”

“Bucky--if you’d just let me explain--”

Bucky shook his head. “Just--” He appeared to be searching for the right words. “Just get in the car.  There’s really not much to say, Steve.”

Steve closed his mouth as he entered car.  The kids were in the back and the tension cut through the air like a knife.  Bucky took his seat in the front, avoiding Steve’s eyes like plague.

The drive home was awkward to say the least.  They finally arrived at Steve’s house, and the kids made their way out of the car.  Steve went to leave when he turned to Bucky.

“If it means anything to you… I really do lov--”

“Bye, Steve,”  Bucky said cooly.  “I really need to do a lot of thinking here and you’re not exactly helping.”

Steve nodded in defeat as he left the car.  He looked back, but Bucky was already pulling out of his driveway.  Steve’s heart fell as he turned back to his three unhappy children.  

Stephanie was crying, her results still unopened and clutched tightly in her hand.  Ant was staring angrily at the ground, and Steve became worried that the boy may trash his room again.  Then there was Natalia, who was trying her best to keep on a brave face, but it was evident that she was struggling to keep the tears at bay.  For once he had no idea what to say in order to make everything better.

He unlocked the door and the kids raced up the steps. He heard all three bedroom doors slamming in unison.  He wanted to be angry, he wanted to blame Tony, but he couldn’t erase his fault in this.  This was it.  This was what he got for sleeping with a married man.  He probably deserved a lot worse than the silent treatment from his children and boyfriend. (He prayed that Bucky wasn’t his _ex_ -boyfriend yet.)

He made his way up the steps to his bedroom, closing the door behind him.  He found an old picture from his time with Tony.  Steve shook his head.  He really _hadn’t_ changed anything since Tony left.  His first instinct was to chuck this picture across the room.  Not because it reminded him of a time when they were fighting and miserable.  It wasn’t because he was angry with Tony, or the kids.  It was because he was angry with himself.   It was because he wasn’t the person in that picture anymore.  He wasn’t _happy_ like that anymore, and he had just proven to himself that his happiness didn’t lie with Tony.  He had the chance to go have that again, and he didn’t want it.  He didn’t want it because he _knew_ it wouldn’t be the same.  Because _he_ wasn’t the same, and it dawned on him that maybe that was okay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr? ](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey Guys, I have a few important notes before you being reading. First of all I have a some **trigger warnings for mentions of eating disorders. They are brief and marked with these *** before and after the section .** However if you still feel uncomfortable, this is the flashback chapter so skipping it will not cause any confusion whatsoever. Also this chapter is way longer than I anticipated so I'd like to thank you for your patience. Also this has a lot of Stony angst.

_Sixteen Years Ago_

_Steve Rogers was going into yet another conference in Europe.  He took his seat on the plane beside his commanding officer.  He didn’t mind planes much, but he wasn’t looking forward to being stuck in a confined space for several hours.  However, this conference was important, and not attending wasn’t an option._

_He looked out the plane window as it sat on the runway, preparing for takeoff.  Tony had wanted to see him off, but Steve insisted against it.  The last thing they needed was to draw attention to their relationship.  Despite this, as he looked outside and saw everyone saying goodbye to their loved ones he couldn’t help but envy them.  He wished that the didn’t have to worry about their relationship being exposed and used against them.  He wished he would have been able to say goodbye to his boyfriend on the runway like everyone else was saying goodbye to their families._

_Finally it was time for take off.  Steve fastened his seatbelt as the rest of the group took their seats on the jet.  Steve absentmindedly skimmed through a magazine, as the plane took off.  He wasn’t the type to get motion-sickness so it wasn’t a problem.  He was sure in just a matter of moments they would have to discuss the agenda for the trip.  Again, he wasn’t too concerned about it, he was typically pretty organized._

_One of the privates seemed particularly nervous.  Steve couldn’t really blame the kid, even though Steve himself was relatively new to this, he was able to fit in almost effortlessly.  It could certainly be daunting if you’re a new recruit and have never been to any sort of conference before.  Steve didn’t pay much mind to the kid, he was sure that things would calm down once they got to Europe._

_Steve sighed as he put the magazine in the pocket in front of his seat.  He looked out the window.  One thing he had to admit was how incredible it was to look at the world from the sky.  Everything looked so small, and it was humbling to say the least.  He found it relaxing, watching the clouds float past the airplane._

_He looked to his commanding officer who didn’t seem to be paying attention to anything.  He was just sitting there, sternly tapping his foot.  Almost as if he were angry at the plane for not leveling out yet.  He turned to Steve and gave him a disgruntled nod, in what Steve assumed was an attempt at politeness.  Steve returned the gesture with a strained smile, these work trips never worked out the way it was planned._

_The plane hit a bit of turbulence, and most of the passengers appeared to be unfazed.  Except for that one private.  Steve didn’t know what it was but something irked him about the kid.  A little nervousness before the conference was understandable, but turbulence was to be expected on a long flight._

_Finally the plane evened out and they were encouraged to move about the plane.  Initially they went over the itinerary for the weekend.  It was nothing special, in fact it was pretty basic for these conferences.  The hard part would be playing nice with the other nations.  While most of the other officers got along fine, there was always trouble with certain policies.  Someone was always getting offended.  Steve didn’t bother paying much attention to those issues anyway, it wasn’t as though he had any input in those matters._

_After they went through the schedule, Steve excused himself to go to the bathroom.  He washed his face, just looking for an excuse to get some solidarity on this long flight.  When Steve was heading out of the bathroom, he froze.  Everyone he had just been conversing with was either passed out or dead… everyone except that private._

_He must not have noticed Steve, because he was able to disarm the boy with ease he knocked the boy unconscious, and headed into to the cockpit.  The pilot and co-pilot were deceased too and the plane appeared to be on autopilot. Steve could only imagine what had transpired in the ten minutes he spent in the restroom.  Steve tried to calm himself, he had taken a few lessons, in his pilot training surely he could find a way to land the plane safely.  That is until a small explosion went off-- damaging the landing gear._

_Steve began to panic.  He had no idea where that autopilot was sending them and it wasn’t likely it was taking them somewhere safe.  Steve grabbed the controls, and did the only thing he could do, he crashed the plane in the ocean.  This would minimize the potential casualties.  At least no one would miss him, except Tony.  Steve tried not to think about that, at least Tony would probably be able to move on quickly.  They really weren’t that serious._

_Steve closed his eyes as he directed the plane downwards, trying to picture his mother.  At least he would get to see her again soon.  That was the last thought he had before darkness engulfed him._

* * *

_Suddenly Steve was a aware of a dull, repetitive beeping noise.  His eyes shot open and he swiftly sat up in his seat--no his… bed?  Where was he?  How did he get there?  The last thing he remembered was boarding the plane.  He looked around the room frantically.  His eyes fell on Tony who was sitting in some chair reading a book.  What was Tony doing at the conference? Whatever the case, he definitely shouldn’t have been in Steve’s room.  People talk._

_Tony looked up from his book to see Steve sitting upright.  He stood up from his seat and briskly walked over to his boyfriend.  “Steve?” He asked as he clutched the other man’s torso, pulling him close.  “Can you hear me?”_

_“Of course I can hear you!” Steve said groggily, pushing Tony off of him.  “Stop, someone could se--”  He looked down at his arm, there was an intravenous tube attached to his left hand.  He paused, looking around the room once more.  “Tony, why am I in the hospital?”_

_Tony let out a breath, looking down.  “What’s the last thing you remember?”_

_Steve furrowed his brow.  “Getting on the plane, why?”_

_“Steve, there was an accident…” Tony paused.  “The plane went down, and luckily there was a Coast Guard station not too far from the crash site that was able to… retrieve you.  You’re lucky to be alive.”  Tony glanced towards the door.  “I think I’m gonna go find your docto--”_

_“No!” Steve said frantically, “I just mean, I need you to tell me what happened.  The others?  Are they okay?”  Steve suddenly began to try and get out of the bed, “I need to contact military personnel.  They’re gonna want me to give them a report and debrief me.”_

_Tony lightly pushed Steve against the pillows, guiding him back into a lying position.  “Steve, you’re not gonna be good to anyone if you injure yourself even more.  Just stay here, while I go get the doctors, okay?”_

_Steve sighed in defeat before he gave Tony a slight nod.  Tony smiled warmly as he pecked Steve’s forehead, lingering a few moments.  After a few more seconds, Tony removed himself from Steve and darted out the room in search of a doctor._

_Steve rubbed his forehead.  He had a terrible headache.  He groaned as he leaned his head back against the soft pillows, he felt like he had the worst hangover of his life.  After a few moments of lying there, Tony returned with three different people in hospital scrubs._

_Steve frowned, looking desperately to Tony.  None of this made any sense.  He was fine, for all intents and purposes.  Yet, here were all these people checking his vitals and bombarding him with questions like ‘_ How are you feeling?’ _and_ ‘On a scale of 1 to 10 how bad is your pain’.

_He answered the questions as best he could, but it still wasn’t making any sense.  The military should have had someone there by now.  Once the labcoats left the room Steve turned to Tony._

_“Ton, this doesn’t make sense.  What’s going on? And-- not that I’m not glad to see you-- but the military doesn’t exactly take kindly to… our situation.  They’re gonna get suspicious,” Steve asked._

_Tony sighed.  “Steve, I don’t think you understand… the accident was three months ago.  You were in a coma, and there’s no telling what kind of brain damage you may have.  Like I said you’re lucky to be alive.”_

_“Three months?” Steve repeated dumbly._

_Tony nodded. “We’re not even in The States anymore, Steve.  I had you shipped to France, this is the best facility for brain injuries in the world.”_

_Steve looked to Tony, confused.  “I don’t understand… why would the military allow you to transfer me?  Especially since…. ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ and all that.”_

_Tony bit his lip.  “Steve… you’ve been medically discharged from duty.  No doctor on the planet is going to clear you for combat anytime soon.”_

_“But I’m fine--”_

_“No, you’re not.” Tony said patiently.  “You were in a coma for three months.  That is far from fine.  Plus, the physical injuries alone… Steve you’ve got a lot of burns.  Apparently there was an explosion and something happened with the jet fuel when you crashed.  Plus you had quite a few fractured bones, that are mostly healed now, but still.  They made the right call, Steve.  And once they made that call, I was able to transfer you here.”_

_Steve felt like he had been hit by a bus.  All he had was the military and he had barely even been in service a year and a half.  He wanted so much more out of this career, and hearing that it was over was the last thing he wanted.  He felt his eyes begin to well, and he really didn’t want to cry in front of Tony._

_Tony must have noticed however because he embraced Steve and began scattering kisses on his face.  “It’s alright.  You’ve been through hell.  We’re gonna figure this out.  Besides, this has been a great excuse for me to ignore my other responsibilities.  We’ll take all the time you need.”_

* * *

_After a few weeks of physical therapy and brain scans, Steve was finally cleared to leave the hospital.  Of course he would have to return for weekly testing, so he couldn’t go back to America just yet.  Tony must have anticipated this because he had bought an apartment for them._

_When they entered the apartment, Steve knew it would probably be the first place since his little flat in Brooklyn that he called home.  There was a small kitchen near the entrance, and a living area, with a small bedroom and bathroom.  It wasn’t much, but it was_ perfect _as far as Steve was concerned._

_“If you don’t like it, we could always sell this place and--” Tony began._

_“Don’t you dare,” Steve said quietly as he turned to face the other man.  “It’s perfect.”_

_Tony’s expression softened and turned into a soft smile.  Steve tossed his arms around Tony’s neck as he pulled him into a kiss.  The past few weeks had been hell, and Steve honestly didn’t think there was any way he’d have gotten through it without Tony._

_Tony smiled into the kiss as he tugged Steve towards their new bedroom.  Steve eagerly followed Tony’s lead.  The two hadn’t had the opportunity to do_ anything _when Steve was under the watchful eye of the military.  It was nice, not having to hide this anymore, that might have been the only positive side of his medical discharge._

_The pair practically didn’t leave the apartment--or the bedroom--for almost the entire week.  Just taking time to get to know each other as intimately as possible._

* * *

_After a few weeks, it became evident to anyone with a brain that Steve was not handling things well.  He never wanted to leave the apartment aside from his weekly trips to the clinic.  All he was interested in was sex, and even that was something Steve was doing almost to go through the motions.  He had no interest in anything, even his hygiene was suffering._

_Steve was sitting on the couch.  The television wasn’t even on and he was just sitting in silence when Tony excitedly entered the room. “Guess what, Cap?  I just signed us up for a couples cooking class.”_

_Steve looked to his boyfriend, expressionless. “Why?  You’ve never had any interest in cooking.”_

_Tony shrugged.  “Well I just figured when in Rome… c’mon it’ll be fun.”_

_Steve frowned.  He really wasn’t used to doing things in public with Tony.  He was used to having to hide their relationship.  The idea of going to a couples cooking class made him uncomfortable. “Can’t we just stay in?  I could teach you to cook, if you want.”_

_Tony shook his head.  “Nope,” he said popping the ‘p’ sound.  “That’s not an option, babe.”  He grabbed Steve’s hand and pulled him from the couch.  “We’re gonna shower, and,” he looked Steve up and down, “take care of some_ manscaping _.  Then we are going to go to that class, and if you hate it we won’t go back.”_

_Steve pouted, looking down.  “Why can’t we just stay in?”_

_Tony sighed. “Because, Steve, we literally_ always _stay in.  It’s only an hour, and then we can come back and do whatever you want.  I’m just getting a little stir-crazy.  If I don’t get out of this apartment I’m gonna go nuts.  Besides, some fresh air will do you some good.”_

_“We could always crack a windo--” Steve began, as Tony practically shoved him into the bathroom._

_“Nice try.” Tony smirked.  “If it’s not fun, we can just come back home and do whatever you want.”_

_Steve smiled trying to distract Tony.  “Well, if this shower goes as well as I’m thinking it will, then maybe we’ll miss the class altogether.” He draped his arms around the shorter man’s neck, kissing him deeply._

_Tony laughed as he tugged at Steve’s shirt, removing it swiftly.  “As nice as that sound, Rogers, I think a night out would do us both some good.  Besides,” he said as he opened the door to the shower stall, “we’ve got plenty of time to do both.”_

_Steve sighed as he pressed his forehead against Tony’s. “Can we_ please _just stay in?”_

_“Not tonight, Steve.  I promise, when we get home, we’ll do whatever you want.” Tony said, taking off his own shirt.  “It wouldn’t hurt for you to do something productive for a change.”_

_Steve stiffened.  “Well, I’m so sorry that I haven’t been_ active _enough for you.  Next time you wake up from a coma, tell me how easy it is to get back into the swing of things.”_

_Tony rolled his eyes.  “It’s nice to see you’re not overreacting.”  He kissed Steve’s cheek.  “This will be good for you--good for us.  I’m just trying to help you, as you so eloquently put it, ‘get back into the swing of things’.”_

_Steve groaned, clearly Tony was not about to let this go.  The last thing he wanted was to go to some lame cooking class, that Tony would undoubtedly complain about once they got home.  However, he had to admit, it was sweet that Tony was trying.  He had done so much for Steve already, it wouldn’t hurt to play along for a little while._

_“Fine, we’ll go,” Steve relented.  “But I make no promises that I won’t hate it.”_

_“Great,” Tony said excitedly.  “I’ve got a good feeling about this.”_

_After the shower, the pair lazily got ready for the cooking class.  There really was no reason to get too dressed up, it was likely their clothes were going to get dirty anyway._

_They started to walk down the street, apparently the culinary school was just up the block.  Tony went to hold Steve’s hand, but he quickly stuffed them in his pocket.  Old habits die hard and Steve was far from comfortable with public displays of affection.  If it bothered Tony, he didn’t let it show, the older man just led them enthusiastically down the street._

_When they arrived at the small ‘school’ that in Steve’s opinion looked far more like a small kitchen, a small woman from behind the counter smiled.  She motioned to the two aprons across the counter from her.  “We will start once you’re ready.”_

_Steve frowned.  “I don’t understand.  We’re the only ones here.”_

_Tony laughed.  “That’s because it’s a private class.  I know you get…_ weird _about doing the coupley stuff, so I figured I’d make it a little easier.”_

_Steve looked down, slightly flattered, slightly ashamed.  He pecked Tony’s cheek lightly.  “Thank you… and I’m sorry.  I know it can’t be easy for you--”_

_“Stop it.  I can’t imagine what you’re going through right now, but I know your military roots run deep so… I get it.  Everything about this must be one hell of an adjustment for you.” Tony gave him a slight smile.  “I just figured a private cooking class in France wouldn’t hurt.”_

_Steve smiled coyly.  “It definitely won’t.  In fact,” his voice dropped so the instructor wouldn’t hear, “I can’t wait to get you home and show you how grateful and appreciative I am.”_

_Tony nudged him playfully before clearing his throat.  “Well,” he motioned to the instructor, “if you’re done distracting me, Captain Rogers, I would like to start learning if that’s all right with you?”_

_Steve put his hands up apologetically. “My apologies.”  He smiled to the woman, “Ready when you are.”_

_Overall the lesson was great… for Steve.  Tony struggled with the most basic culinary functions.  He could hardly even crack an egg.  Steve honestly wasn’t sure if Tony was just hopeless in the kitchen, or faking for Steve’s benefit.  Regardless, Steve spent most of the lesson either laughing at Tony or apologising to the instructor on Tony’s behalf.  It was the most fun he’d had in years.  It was the most fun he’d had since his mother passed._

_When they finally arrived home, Tony was still moaning and groaning about the class.  “I’m telling you,” he pouted, “that woman had it out for me.  You would think that with the money I spent, she could have been a little bit more patient but--”_

_Steve cut Tony off with a kiss as he dragged the older man into the apartment.  Steve smiled as he pulled away from Tony, and put the keys on the counter.  “Thank you.”  He kissed him again. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.”_

_Tony let out a small laugh.  “While your gratitude is greatly appreciated, why are you so… thankful exactly?”_

_Steve smiled. “For everything.  For taking care of me when I was out… and for still doing it now.  For putting up with me, and making me the happiest I’ve been in a long time.  For… making me go out tonight even though I didn’t want to.  Thank you for all of it, I honestly don’t know how I can ever repay you, or thank you enough.”_

_“Well it hasn’t been completely selfless.  I do kind of like you, you know,” Tony teased as he snaked an arm around Steve’s waist. “My motives were slightly selfish… I’d be just miserable if you didn’t come out of that coma, Steve.  Honestly, those past few months were the worst in my life, and believe me, I’ve had some pretty bad ones.  No more self sacrificing bullshit, okay?”_

_Steve nodded.  “I mean, it really doesn’t look like you’ve got too much to worry about on that front.  It’s not likely the military will take me back anytime soon.  The injuries alone are still giving me trouble.”_

_“Yeah, well I don’t want you running into oncoming traffic to save some old lady crossing the street or anything either.” Tony gave him a slight shove. “I can’t lose you again.”_

_“I guess I have to get used to that, huh?” Steve grinned, turning his face away from Tony._

_“Get used to what?” Tony asked automatically._

_Steve turned back to Tony and kissed him again.  “Having someone who’ll miss me if I’m gone.  I’ve been on my own for a while, Ton.”_

_“Well I hate to be the one to break it to you, but not anymore,” Tony said as he returned the kiss.  “Now you’ve got some boring life, and someone you need to come home to.  No more acts of heroism, okay?”_

_“I’ll try my best.” Steve teased as he happily led Tony towards the bedroom._

* * *

_After the first class, Steve began going on his own to classes.  As reluctant as he initially was, it was the best decision he could have ever made.  It gave him something to do, and it also gave him a sense of accomplishment when he would make a pastry or meal just right._

_Over the course of a few months it was safe to say that Steve was a natural.  He had always been good at cooking but it was mainly just basic foods that his mother had taught him, it was fun learning more complicated meals, that he probably wouldn’t make too often once they returned home._

_Finally a miracle happened, or that was what Tony called it. Steve was granted a full bill of health.  There didn’t appear to be any lasting brain damage and aside from his scaring, his physical injuries were all better.  They could go home.  While it was reassuring to know that he was doing fine, Steve couldn’t help but feel a little melancholy about it.  He really didn’t have a home to go back to. He_ could _go back to Brooklyn, but there really wasn’t anything left for him there, and he may have been better but he was far from military shape.  He couldn’t just jump right back in anyway, the military would want to run their own tests and that process could take a while._

_Tony, however, seemed over the moon to hear they could go home.  All he could talk about was how nice it would be to get back to work at the company, and how wonderful it would be to see everyone again.  Steve couldn’t help but feel bitter about it.  Over the past six months or so, he had had Tony all to himself, he wasn’t exactly thrilled to have to share him with the rest of the world again._

_“Let’s go to dinner tonight!” Tony said, snapping Steve back to reality.  “We’ll celebrate your newfound health.”_

_Steve nodded, not making eye contact with Tony.  It made sense for his boyfriend to be excited about this, and he had given up so much for Steve.  He wasn’t about to rain on his parade.  “Sure, sounds like fun.”_

_Tony smiled slyly as he walked over to Steve pecking him on the lips.  “Then when we come home, we can fool around one last time before we have to pack all this shit up.”_

_Steve gave him a strained smile.  “Yeah, sure.  Whatever you want.”  He looked around the apartment hopelessly.  He adored this place.  He wished the two of them could stay there and never leave.  “Are you gonna sell it?”_

_Tony shrugged. “I don’t know yet.  I figured there wasn’t much of a rush.  Who knows, we could keep it for a little while, unless you wanna sell it?”_

_Steve laughed. “I don’t think it matters what I want.  It’s not like my name’s on the deed.  By the way do you want rent money or have our lovely evenings in here covered it?”_

_“Your name_ is _on the deed, Steve.  I wasn’t sure if you were gonna wake up right away, and sooner or later I was going to get dragged back home to run a company, and I wanted to make sure that you had a place to stay,” Tony said as he pulled Steve in for a light kiss._

_“I don’t know what to say--”_

_“Don’t say anything,” Tony said, “I’m just glad you got to use it.  You were touch and go there for a while, Steve.  I wasn’t sure you were gonna make it.”_

_Steve waved dismissively. “I’m fine.  The doctor says I’m all healed up. Practically good as new.”_

_Tony frowned. “Sure_ now _you are.  A couple of months ago, I was worried I’d have to plan your funeral.”_

_Steve snorted. “Well I’m glad I saved you the trouble.  It would have been a shame for you to spend all the time and money to be the only one there.”_

_“Why do you always say shit like that?” Tony rolled his eyes.  “You realize you’re a goddamned national treasure right?  Plus Clint and Nat were worried like you wouldn’t believe.  Nat called me at least twice a day until you woke up, just checking on your condition.”_

_“So that’s three people and a bunch of strangers who only know me as the US government’s poster child?  I would have left behind quite the legacy, huh?  Remembered as the short lived captain who was once the pride and joy of the army.  I’m sure the media would have found that hilarious, I can see it now ‘Army Golden Boy Meets Not So Golden Death.’  I’m sure I wouldn’t have been missed or remembered.  Not for long.  Are you honestly telling me that it would have taken you long to move on?  You’re Tony freaking Stark!  Guys and gals would line up around the block for a chance to date you!” Steve snapped._

_Tony looked taken aback.  “Steve, I don’t know that the hell is going on with you, but need I remind you that I waited by your bedside for three months straight.  I dropped everything for you, so to answer your question: Yes!  Yes, you would have been missed and remembered, and so help me God, if you get any ideas about doing something stupid and hurting yourself, I will drag your ass to the nearest shrink, the second we’re stateside!  Goddamn it, Steve, you don’t make anything easy!  All I wanted to do was take you to dinner, and now we’re fighting and I have no idea why!”_

_Steve looked down. He was being unfair and he knew it.  “I’m sorry.  You’re right.  I’m-- Tony, I’m scared.  We’re going back home and… I don’t have anywhere to go.”_

_Tony’s expression softened.  “Well, I was gonna wait until we got to the restaurant but here-” Tony tossed Steve a small black box.  “You just had to have a little bitch fit didn’t you?”_

_Steve looked at the box in his hand and back to Tony, unsure what to do._

_Tony rolled his eyes with an exasperated expression on his face.  “For Christ’s sake, Cap.  Open it!”_

_Steve slowly opened the box and his heart stopped.  It must have stopped.  It had to have stopped.  Steve knew he couldn’t be living anymore.  He stared at it, it was a slim wedding band encrusted with diamonds.  Steve had never been much of a jewelry person, but he knew the implications this must have had.  He looked up to Tony.  “Tony, you better not be messing with me.”_

_Tony let out an exasperated groan.  “Seriously, Steve?  I’m trying to propose and you’re looking for a reason to yell--”_

_“Yes,” Steve said quietly, not taking his eyes off the ring._

_“Yes as in you want to yell at me, or yes as in you wanna marry me?” Tony asked, his voice shaking slightly._

_Steve smiled softly, as he looked up at Tony “Well I was kind of hoping this meant I could yell at you for the rest of our lives.”_

_Tony’s face relaxed into a smile.  “You’re damn right it does.”_

_Steve grinned, tugging Tony in a deep and passionate kiss.  “On second thought maybe we should stay in.”  He slipped his hand under Tony’s shirt, while the other hand was desperately trying to remove the garment off of the other man._

_Tony grinned as he grabbed the back of Steve’s neck, pulling him in even closer.  “Believe it or not, I’m inclined to agree with you.”_

_Steve hurriedly pulled Tony towards the bedroom.  One thing was for sure, Steve wasn’t hesitant to return home anymore._

* * *

_Two weeks later, the pair was ready to go back to the States.  While Steve would definitely miss France, it was certainly time for them to go back.  Naturally, Tony had arranged for them to go back in his private jet.  If it were up to Steve, they could have just flown home in coach seats on some brand name jetliner, but Tony thought it best that they went alone this time, something about the press or the media._

_Steve didn’t mind, really.  The two settled in the luxurious seats and Steve was shocked at how nice everything was.  What Steve really wasn’t expecting was how he’d react once they started flying.  He instantly became lightheaded and nauseated.  He had never had a problem flying before… hell he was training to be a pilot, yet for some reason, flying was proving to be an issue.  He spent the majority of the flight curled up in his seat with his head laying on Tony’s lap.  Tony would stroke his hair and whisper encouraging words.  It was the longest ten hours of Steve’s life._

_When they finally landed, Tony groaned.  “Shit.  Steve, I forgot to mention, my folks are meeting us at the airport.”_

_Steve grabbed his head as he stood up.  “That really would have been nice of you to mention before we got on the plane.  I’m not even dressed nicely, and I’ve literally spent the last ten hours in hell.”_

_“I can tell them to leave if you want--”_

_“Gee Tony, how do you think that will look?  They probably already think I’m some gold digger.  Now I’ll be some gold digger who told you to send your parents away.  There is no way you are gonna embarrass me like that!  Next time a warning would be nice though.” Steve rolled his eyes._

_“Sorry,” Tony said, sounding sincere, “I wasn’t thinking.  It makes sense that you would react that--”_

_“No, none of it makes sense.  Tony, I was gonna be a pilot, and now I can’t even be a freaking passenger.  That crash took everything--”_

_“I know, Steve.  You’ll get there--”_

_Steve shrugged it off.  “I doubt it.  No one would ever clear me to fly if they saw how I reacted.  It’s not safe.”_

_Tony took Steve’s hand in his and he led the younger male through the airport.  Steve was practically clinging to Tony.  The paparazzi was everywhere, and it was stressful to say the least.  Luckily their luggage had already been brought out to the car given that they were the only passengers on the plane._

_As they made their way through the terminal, Tony froze and turned to whisper in Steve’s ear.  “My parents are right outside.  This is your last chance, if you’re not feeling up to it, I can explain everything to them and have them over for dinner one day.  You don’t have to do this.”_

_Steve stiffened.  “Of course I have to do this.  The press will have a field day about how I’m breaking up the Stark family, if you send them away.  Besides they’re already here.  I should be okay.”_

_Tony nodded as they walked outside.  Howard and Maria Stark looked as though they had just popped out of a magazine.  They were probably the most formally dressed people in the entire airport, everything about them looked flawless from their perfectly styled hair to their freshly pressed clothing.  Steve looked down at himself, he was wearing sweats.  He silently cursed his fiance as Tony greeted his parents._

_“Mom, Dad, this is Steve.” Tony motioned to him._

_Steve gave a strained smile as he shook his future in-laws’ hands.  “It’s a pleasure to finally meet you.”_

_Maria smiled brightly as she turned to her husband. “See, Howard, Tony’s finally setting down, I told you it was only a matter of time.”  She looked back to Tony, “You failed to mention that he was so… handsome.”_

_“And young,” Howard said shortly, examining Steve as if he wasn’t sure what to make of him._

_Tony sighed.  “Yes, there is a bit of an age difference--”_

_“Age is just a number, dear,” Maria said, her smile never faltering as she gave her husband a slight nudge.  “We trust your judgment, Tony.”  She looked to Steve.  “He’s never so much as introduced us to someone he was dating in the past five years.  We’re more than happy to see that Tony’s finally found someone who makes him happy.”_

_Steve smiled back, a little more relaxed.  “The feeling is mutual, Mrs. Stark.  I honestly don’t think I’d be here right now if it weren’t for Tony.”  It was true in multiple ways.  From what Steve had gathered, he probably wouldn’t have survived his injuries if not for Tony’s contributions.  Also if they hadn’t been engaged, it wasn’t likely that Steve would have come to California, he wasn’t sure where he planned to go, but it wouldn’t be there._

_Howard let out a sigh. “Well we were glad to hear that you made a full recovery.  Do you have family here, Steven?  I’m sure they would like to spend time with you._

_Steve gave a tight grimace.  “No, sir.  I’m on my own.  I have been for a while now.”_

_“Then where will you be staying, Captain Rogers?  Surely you won’t be in a hotel--”_

_“Steve’s staying with me,” Tony said shortly as he put his arm around Steve’s waist and placed a kiss on the top of his head._

_“Do you really think that’s wise, son?” Howard asked sternly._

_Tony’s eyes widened in an expression that Steve could only categorize as pure anxiety.  “Well, we’ve been living together for the past six months, and we’re getting married soon so…. yes.  I do think it’s ‘_ wise’ _, father.”_

_“I don’t mean to be any trouble--” Steve began honestly._

_“Nonsense,” Maria said perkily.  “Howard just has a tendency to be overprotective.”_

_Howard let out a loud exhale as he looked at Steve.  “You’ve got to understand, kid.  Tony’s never even mentioned you and then out of the blue he’s heading off to France to take care of some nineteen year old kid, then a few months later he tells us he’s marrying this young boy who’s young enough to be my grandson.  You can’t blame us for being skeptical.”_

_“I completely understand,” Steve said honestly.  “You want to make sure that I’m not taking advantage of Tony’s wealth and status.”_

_“I’m also a bit concerned he may be taking advantage of you, kid.  I mean you’re young, and this rich, powerful, businessman turns up and takes an interest.  Then he practically saves your life and devotes nearly a year taking care of you.  Are you honestly telling me that part of you doesn’t feel like you owe my son something?” Howard clarified._

_Steve paused, unsure of what to say, as the car pulled up.  “I owe your son a lot.  Obviously I owe him my life, but I loved Tony before my plane went down, and he’s made it very clear that he doesn’t want me to feel indebted or anything.  I love him, Mr. Stark.  I know, I must sound like some stupid teenage kid in love.  But… I… I’m one of the most highly decorated officers considering my age and experience.  I crashed a plane into the ocean.  I guess what I’m saying is, I don’t make decisions half-assed.  I know what I want and what I feel.  Your son’s not taking advantage of anything.”_

_“Fair enough.” Howard shrugged as he opened the door for his wife to enter the car before following her._

_Tony let out a low whistle.  “You got him to almost agree with you.  That’s a good sign, Cap.”_

_Steve snorted.  “I think he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t approve.”_

_Tony laughed.  “Trust me, that’s the nicest he’s ever been to someone I’ve introduced them to. I think he likes you, ‘kid’.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes.  “If you say so.”_

_Tony laughed before sitting in the car  “Trust me, you’re doing fine.”_

_Steve followed Tony into the car, sitting besides his fiance and across from his future mother-in-law.  The car began to drive, and Tony put his arm around Steve’s shoulder, and he eased into the gesture.  It had been such a long day, it was nice to just relax in Tony’s arms._

_As the car continued to drive, the Starks began talking about the business and family friends, and how everyone was excited for Tony’s return to the country.  Steve mainly listened, not having much to contribute to the conversation, and Howard still made him feel a bit uneasy._

_Steve began to peer out the window, and he he felt his eyelids become heavy.  He was finally feeling the exhaustion from the plane ride.  Tony must have been able to tell that Steve was beat, because he began rubbing small circles on Steve’s shoulder.  He tried his best to stay awake, he didn’t want to give off a bad first impression but… today had been hell.  It wouldn’t hurt to rest his eyes for a bit._

_Steve awoke to Tony’s featherlight kisses to his temple.  “Wake up, sleeping beauty.  We’re home.”_

_He yawned as he sat upright and glanced around the car, he and Tony were alone now. “Your parents must think I’m so rude.”_

_Tony shook his head.  “Nah, they understood.  I told them that the flight wasn’t easy for you, plus my mother was pissed that dear old Dad wasn’t more polite.”_

_"It makes sense,” Steve said honestly.  “If I were him, I’d probably be suspicious too.  There’s a pretty big age difference, Tony.”_

_Tony shook his head.  “Still.  You’re a war hero.  He should have at least shown some more respect.”_

_Steve scoffed.  “Not for nothing, I didn’t crash my plane to become a war hero--at least I don’t think I did.  Memory’s still kind of fuzzy on those details.”_

_Tony gave him a disapproving look.  “Well regardless of your ever so noble intentions, you’re stuck being a war hero.  C’mon,” Tony said excitedly, “Let me give you the grand tour of our new place.”_

_Steve smiled as they exited the car.  Tony tipped the driver, who began taking their luggage out of the car.  Steve would have protested but he was too stunned looking at the luxurious house Tony had bought for them.  Steve didn’t know it then, but this was the place they would spend their married life together.  It would be the house that they would raise their children in._

_Tony smirked.  “I know it’s not quite the apartment in Paris.  Also I figured a… mansion would be too excessive for you, so I figured this was a happy medium.”_

_Steve nodded.  “Yeah, it’s the perfect middle ground.  I love it.  It’s just... it’s so… nice.  I never imagined I’d be living in a place like this.”  It was true.  He had grown up in an overly cramped apartment in Brooklyn with his mother.  It was part of what made their small place in France perfect for Steve-- it wasn’t too big.  This place was certainly spacious, Steve could tell that much and they weren’t even inside yet.  But it was perfect for two people who wanted to get married and start a family.  Steve at least assumed that was what Tony had in mind.  They should probably formally discuss the whole family thing at some point, but right now Steve was just stunned at the house._

_“Let’s go in.” Tony said taking Steve’s hand and leading him to the front porch.  Tony unlocked the door and pulled Steve inside, turning on the lights.  Steve was dumbfounded.  The living room and the kitchen were the first things he noticed.  Both rooms were enormous and filled with the most high end--and likely expensive-- furniture, and appliances that Steve had ever seen._

_“Tony…”_

_"Let’s go upstairs!” Tony said, motioning to the steps._

_“Yeah… yeah, okay.” Steve said still a little shocked about how… perfect the house was.  The two made up the steps.  “When did you buy this place, Ton?  You were kind of… busy when we were in France.”_

_Tony shrugged.  “Once you woke up, I had tons of time to arrange this.”_

_“You just proposed a few weeks ago…” Steve stated._

_"Well like you said, you didn’t really have anyplace to go back to.  Even if you said no, I would have given you this place.” Tony said nonchalantly, “I didn’t want you out on the streets.”_

_Steve felt his eyes began to well.  He didn’t deserve any of this.  He would have found some place to stay, with or without Tony’s help.  But Tony made sure he didn’t have to.  Tony kept taking care of him which was… new.  He hadn’t had anyone take care of him since he was a kid.  After that he was the one looking after his mother, and then he was on his own for a while after that.  Yet, here was Tony, taking care of him like it was no big deal._

_"Steve?” Tony asked.  “Is everything okay?  If you don’t like it we can just sell this place.  It’ll probably sell for much more than it’s worth--”_

_“No.  No. Don’t.  Don’t sell it.  I love it.  It’s just a lot to take in,” Steve said shakily.  “A few months ago, I was just some lonely kid, who would have been out on the streets had it not been for the military and now… now I’m engaged and you’re wonderful.  I’ve just never… had anything like this, and… it… it feels so unreal.”_

_Tony chuckled.  “Well get used to it.  You’re in for a lifetime of this.”  He tugged Steve’s shirt towards him, as he kissed him sweetly. “Now,” Tony said as he pulled away from Steve.  “Please allow me to escort you to the bedroom.”_

_Steve grinned as he chased after Tony into their new bedroom._

* * *

 

_Two Months Later_

_The wedding was just a few weeks away.  It didn’t take long to put together, not once Tony hired a wedding planner.  Neither of them was too picky and they weren’t having too many people.  Since Steve really only had two people to invite, most of the guests were Tony’s friends and family._

_The two were hanging around the house, looking over some final details involving some of the catering.  If Steve had it his way, he would have just made all the food.  It would have at least given him something to do while Tony was at the office._

_“I saw that the diner down the road has a help wanted sign in the window.  Maybe they need a cook, I was thinking of applying--” Steve started._

_“Why?” Tony asked.  “It’s not like you need to worry about paying rent or something.  Let someone who actually needs the job apply.”_

_Steve frowned.  “I appreciate all that you’re doing for me but, I want to do something!  I want to contribute at least a little bit.”_

_“I don’t know how much you can do or contribute by working as a minimum wage cook, in a substandard diner,” Tony said with a hint of boredom in his voice.  “Besides, most places won’t let you take off so soon after being hired and we do have a honeymoon to attend soon.”_

_“What about after?” Steve asked. “Don’t you think it’ll be a nice idea?”_

_Tony hummed.  “Well, I think it would probably be better if you got a job somewhere nicer, or you could open up your own place.  This way you could make your own hours and hire your own employees.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes.  “But then you would have to help me get the business started.  I don’t know the first thing about owning or running a business.  I’d like to just… do something… on my own.”_

_“I  thought you liked being taken care of?” Tony asked.  “I mean, you certainly haven’t objected before--”_

_“It’s not that, Tony.” Steve sighed.  “Maybe it is a little, but mainly I want--I need to feel useful.  Lately, it’s almost been like those first few months in France, when I didn’t do anything.  I just want… a hobby.”_

_Tony snorted.  “Well, speaking of hobbies, and considering we’re gonna be married in a little over a month… maybe we should finally address the elephant in the room?”_

_Steve looked at his fiance in confusion.  “What the hell are you talking about?  Everything’s fine--”_

_“C’mon, Cap.  I see the way you look at the empty bedrooms upstairs.  Plus the other day I saw you looking quite interested at a crib on the home shopping network.  So… I’m gonna take a wild guess and say that you want kids at some point or another,” Tony said, not looking up from the contract in his hands._

_Steve blushed in embarrassment.  “I’d be lying if I said I haven’t thought about it.”_

_“I think you’ve more than thought about it.  You left the browser open on the laptop the other night.  You were looking for adoption agencies.” Tony finally raised his eyes slightly to meet Steve’s._

_"I didn’t want to discuss it until I had all the details,” Steve clarified as he cleared his throat._

_“And?”_

_“‘And’ what? Tony, I get that this is uncharted territory for us, but I think I’m entitled to some curiosity before discussing this with you.”_

_“And… do you or do you not want to have kids via adoption?”_

_“I don’t know.  Do you?  Do you even want kids?” Steve asked, looking down at the floor._

_Tony put the contract on the coffee table. As he turned his body towards Steve. “Well I’m glad you finally decided to ask me, but yes.  Yes, I would definitely like kids… sooner rather than later.”_

_Steve let out a sigh of relief.  “Well then I guess we agree about that.  I really think that adoption is a good option for us--”_

_"Adoption is a long and strenuous process,” Tony said calmly.  “While I think it’s a perfectly valid option, the process could take years, and I don’t do the best with interviews so,  I don’t know how likely it would be for us to get selected anyway.”_

_"So what do you suggest?” Steve asked with a deadpan expression on his face.  Clearly Tony knew what he wanted, and there was no point in dancing around the issue until he finally spoke up._

_“I think surrogacy is the best option for us, as a same-sex couple.” Tony crossed his arms.  “In more than a few states the nature of our relationship is… frowned upon.  And since I travel for work, it’s likely that we will be in one of those ignorant places at some point, so at least one of us should be related to our child in case of unexpected medical issues.  In some cases, they would keep us from seeing our child in the hospital and claim that we weren’t actually the parents if not for blood relation.”  Tony must have noticed Steve’s perplexed expression because he continued.  “I’ve done my research too, Steve.”_

_“Clearly.” Steve nodded.  “Okay, so surrogacy… are we talking In Vitro Fertilization or artificial insemination?”_

_Tony made a face and shrugged.  “Well, if we only want one, then I guess artificial insemination is our best bet.  A lot of times with IVF there are multiple births, and as a newlywed couple that may be a bit much for us to take in at that point.”_

_“Okay, so how do we go about finding a surrogate and the… other stuff?” Steve asked._

_Tony cleared his throat as he handed Steve his tablet.  “Unless you want to use someone we know, this is the most highly ranked surrogacy agency in the nation.  We get to browse and interview the surrogates and then if we pick one and she agrees, in nine months we have a baby.”_

_Steve looked through the list of names and pictures idly.  They weren’t about to make this kind of a decision today.  “You weren’t kidding when you said you did your research.”_

_“I never kid about research,” Tony teased. “Plus the great thing about artificial insemination is that we can combine our samples and have virtually no idea who the biological father is.”_

_Steve raised his eyebrows.  “That’s assuming the kid doesn’t start to look like one of us.”_

_Tony frowned.  “It’s possible.”_

_“Says the man who looks exactly like his father--”_

_“Hey, just because I look like my father doesn’t mean our kids will.” Tony snarked._

_“Fair point.”  Steve glanced back down at the tablet.  “I’m surprised that you didn’t have a surrogate picked out already.”_

_Tony smirked as he took the tablet from Steve’s hand and began scrolling through it.  “Well, I do think that this… Karen Page is a good match, but I think you should look through all the options too.  I may have missed someone.”_

_Steve took the tablet back and examined Karen’s profile.  He had to admit it was impressive, she was bright, pretty, in good health, and she was doing this to put herself through secretarial school.  She did seem like a good choice.  “I’ll look all these over,” he said, “but I do have to admit, she seems like a good choice, Tony.”_

_“Great, so when would you wanna do this?”_

_"Excuse me?  Can we get married first?” Steve asked incredulously._

_Tony laughed.  “It’s gonna take at least nine months even if it takes on our first attempt.  Most people have to have a few artificial insemination sessions before the pregnancy takes.  It could easily take over a year.”_

_Steve sighed, looking back down at the tablet.  This morning his biggest concern was whether or not the manager down at the diner would want him to have a resume and references.  “Fine.  Okay.  Call this… Karen Page, and see if she’ll agree to meet with us.”_

_Tony smiled as he took the tablet back.  “Will do.”_

_Steve couldn’t help but feel excited about the whole thing.  While this was certainly not something that he had planned to discuss today, he was thrilled.  He had always wanted kids.  He always wanted a bigger family in general.  After spending so much time on his own, he never wanted to be alone again._

_That was how they ended up meeting with the surrogate the day before their wedding.  Apparently the only day Tony could arrange for a meeting was that day.  While Steve was initially more than stressed by Tony’s poor planning choices the meeting went exceptionally well._

_Karen was sweet, kind, and just all around enthusiastic.  Tony asked most of the questions, given that he did the most research.  Steve did a lot of answering Karen’s questions.  She wanted to make sure that if she was going to commit to this that she had some reassurance as well.  Overall Steve was pleased with the meeting.  They certainly liked Karen and it seemed as though Karen liked them, she even seemed to find Tony’s obnoxious behaviors endearing._

_“Well,” she said with a smile.  “I do still have a few other couples to meet with but… I am definitely interested in you guys.  You seem to have a game plan and clearly you have the means to raise a baby.  You should be hearing from the agency in a few weeks.”_

_“Wow,” Steve said, a little overwhelmed.  “Really, that soon?”_

_Karen nodded. “Well, we have to schedule everything for when I’m ovulating, and usually the pregnancy doesn’t take on the first try, so the sooner we get started, the sooner you can have your baby.”_

_"That’s fantastic,” Tony said, smiling.  “Well, Karen, it’s been a pleasure.  I assume we’ll be in touch soon.”_

_She smiled giddily as she headed out the door.  “It sure looks that way, Mr. Stark.  You should be hearing from me soon.”_

_Tony closed the door behind her and turned to Steve energetically.  “How great did that go?”_

_“Almost_ too _great,” Steve said as he crossed his arms.  “Something tells me, you had asked her most of the real questions you had for her online or over the phone.  This whole thing seemed like it was for my benefit.”_

_Tony frowned before replying with a guilty tone in his voice. “I may have asked her a few questions prior to the meeting, but it was just small stuff.  Like where she lives, which doctor she’ll be seeing.  That stuff.”_

_Steve sighed.  “Well, despite the fact that I would have liked to have known that before we met with her, I do have to admit, I like her.  I think she’s a good choice.  You did good, Tony.”_

_Tony smirked as he kissed Steve lightly.  “You’re damn right I did.  This time next year, we may be parents.  Let that sink in for a minute, Steve.”_

_Steve laughed.  “I’m still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we’ll be married by this time tomorrow.”  Steve looked away a bit melancholy, his mother always talked about how she wanted to see Steve happy and married.  It was too bad, her health didn’t allow it._

_Steve looked to his future husband and said just loud enough for Tony to hear, “My mom would have loved you.”_

_"Yeah?” Tony asked.  “I always figured she would have seen me as the older predator trying to defile her precious son.”_

_Steve shrugged.  “I don’t know, the age difference may have bothered her a little bit, but she was always saying that I took myself too seriously.  And when I wasn’t too serious, I was usually mouthing off and getting myself in trouble.  But you… you make me laugh and help me lighten up.  She would have liked that.  Too bad you, or our future children, never got to meet her.”_

_Tony rubbed his back soothingly.  Not that Steve needed soothing, he was fine.  His mother had died years ago, and he had made his peace with that.  Still, he appreciated the gesture._

_Then next day went like a blur.  One moment Steve was waking up, and the next he and Tony were eating dinner at their own wedding reception.  It was a lovely outdoor venue with a nice view of the ocean but… Steve thought it was a bit overkill.  He had always appreciated subtlety.  Tony did not. They had about one hundred guests, most of whom Steve didn’t even know.  But he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t happy.  Here he was professing his love for Tony in front of hundreds of strangers.  He never thought he’d have the opportunity to do that._

_The party was over as quickly as it started.  Steve could hardly even remember the speeches that Natasha and Rhodey gave.  He could barely remember dancing with Tony; they really only shared one dance.  Steve didn’t even care much for dancing, but it was still nice to be able to do that with Tony.  His military roots ran deep, and it was refreshing for Steve to be relaxed about all this.  A few months ago, he didn’t even feel comfortable enough to hold Tony’s hand in public.  And now here he was--marrying the guy in front of all of their friends and Tony’s family.  Steve never thought he’d have that._

_They honeymoon came and went, and despite Steve needing sleeping pills to survive the plane rides, they had a very nice time.  However, once they returned home, it became obvious that Steve was going to need some sort of hobby.  He loved Tony and even if they were going to hear from Karen soon, they would still need to wait at least nine months until the baby came.  He wouldn’t be able to stay cooped up in the house all day just waiting around._

_Steve decided to join the gym down the road.  It was a nice compromise, because it wouldn’t keep him out of the house when the kid was born, and it kept him busy for the time being.  Fitness became Steve’s thing again.  He was there day in and day out for hours on end, and it wasn’t long until he was almost in the same shape he was in when he was in active duty._

_A few weeks after they came back from the honeymoon, they got a call from the surrogacy agency.  Karen had picked them, and now it was just a matter of scheduling an appointment for the artificial insemination.  It was all happening so fast, which was exciting but daunting at the same time.  A year ago, Steve was in a coma and now he was on the way to being a father.  To say it was intimidating would be an understatement._

_Being in the fertility clinic was quite possibly the most overwhelming thing Steve had ever experienced.  The whole situation was just uncomfortable, sitting in the lobby waiting to go… do_ that _in the cup.  The worst was the walk of shame that the guys who had gone before them had to make.  Walking out awkwardly, knowing full well that everyone knew what they had just done in the room.  He hoped it was at least sanitary in there._

_Tony, however, seemed perfectly comfortable waiting in the lobby.  Steve didn’t know why he was surprised.  Tony was comfortable with just about anything.  He wished that they would have been able to just do this at home and then bring in the sample, but the agency insisted that they do this by the book.  This was the only way to make sure that everything was above board._

_“Maybe we can convince them to let us go in there together,” Tony whispered just loud enough for Steve to hear him. “I mean they’re just gonna combine our samples anyway, and I don’t know about you, but this will all go way faster for me if you’re the one… providing me inspiration.”_

_“That’s disgusting,” Steve snapped back, barely audible. “We’re in public, and this place is all sorts of skeevy.”_

_“It’s a clinic, it’s the least ‘skeevy’ place we could be doing this,” Tony said with an eyeroll.  “And you weren’t exactly calling it ‘disgusting’ last night.”_

_Steve scoffed.  “Well you weren’t talking to me about… masturbation… in_ public _last night.”_

_“Sor-ry, Cap,” Tony said teasingly.  “It won’t happen again.”_

_Steve groaned.  “This whole thing is just uncomfortable.”_

_“Really?  I’m fine.  It’s like waiting for the doc to analyze a urine sample.”_

_“I wholeheartedly disagree.” Steve fidgeted in his seat.  “How long after this will it take to…” His voice trailed off, embarrassed._

_“To what?  Shoot this stuff in Karen?” Tony asked._

_"That was even more disgusting.  But yes… when is our_ appointment for insemination _?”_

_Tony laughed.  “God, you’re so proper.  She should be ovulating in a week or so.  We have our ‘appointment’ next Thursday.”_

_"Then why are we doing this now?”_

_“To make sure our swimmers are in good condition.” Tony answered as he began browsing through a magazine.  “I’m also fairly sure they’ll be testing for STDs too.”_

_Steve stared at his husband.  “So we have to do this again next week?”_

_Tony nodded.  “Yup.  We’ll probably have to do it Wednesday night or Thursday morning before Karen comes in.  Pun not intended.”_

_“You’re still gross, Tony,” Steve said clearly not amused.  “Okay so a little over a week, and then hopefully in nine months we’ll have a baby.”_

_"That’s assuming the pregnancy takes on the first go.  We’ll probably have to do this a few more times before we get a baby out of the deal,” Tony said, not looking up from the magazine._

_“Great.  Just great.  This whole thing is humiliating.”  Steve glanced around the waiting room.  “I don’t want everyone to know that I’m about to go in there and… stuff.”_

_Tony chuckled a little too loudly for Steve’s liking.  “I don’t know where all this shy stuff is coming from.  I’ve literally taken your virginity and I am one of the few people, if not the only person, in this world who know what you look like when you orgasm.  Yet, you’re still too shy to say the words ‘masturbate’, or ‘jerk off’ in my presence.”_

_Steve felt his face begin to heat up.  “It doesn’t help that we’re in a crowded room, with a bunch of other people who are about to do the same thing.”_

_Tony groaned.  “Yes, Steve.  We’re in a fertility clinic.  This is what people do when they come here.  Again, pun completely unintentional.”_

_Steve was almost glad to get away from Tony when they called him inside.  Almost.  The whole thing was still embarrassing._

_Steve wasn’t sure what he was expecting when he received a phone call from Karen three weeks after their appointment.  He definitely wasn’t expecting to hear shrieks of joy.  What he was able to make out of the conversation was “CONGRATULATIONS--I’M PREGNANT--” and more shrill cheers of excitement.  Steve was thrilled--he really was.  If not for anything else, he was thrilled he wouldn’t have to go back to that god-awful fertility clinic, but he was also extremely overwhelmed.  Tony had insisted that Karen wouldn’t get pregnant on their first attempt, and while it was exciting knowing that they were actually going to have their baby, he had no idea what to do. He was barely old enough to take care of himself, never mind this helpless baby that would be at his mercy--lord knows Tony would be anything but nurturing._

_When Steve called Tony at work, it was a miracle he was able to form words when Pepper answered the phone.  She must have been able to understand him well enough because she transferred him right to Tony.  When Tony answered the phone the floodgates opened._

_"Tony, she’s pregnant!  The house isn’t baby-proofed!  We don’t have any baby furniture!  We don’t even have a car that’s safe for kids!  All you own are two-seaters!  We’re gonna have to set up one of the bedrooms!  Oh my god!  We have to tell your parents!  When are we gonna tell your parents? You should be the one to call, they probably don’t wanna hear it from me. Holy Crap.  Tony, we’re having a baby!  What are we gonna name it?  What if it hates me?  What if I’m just the worst father ever?  Tony, what is it gonna call us?  Do you think the kid’ll get confused?  We can’t have it call us both ‘Dad’ that would be ridiculous!  What if we’re terrible parents?  This may have been a terrible, terrible, idea.  I’m barely twenty years old, Ton, what if I’m not ready?  What if I mess up our kid--”_

_“Steve--Steve.  Calm down.  I’m gonna come home early, just relax okay?  I’ll be right there.  You don’t have anything to worry about.  We can do this.  This is what we wanted, remember?” Tony spoke into the phone._

_“You better get home, as soon as possible, because… I’m freaking out, Tony.  You said we’d have more time.” Steve rubbed his forehead in stress._

_"I’ll be there as soon as I can.  Let’s go out for dinner.  We’ll celebrate.  This is a good thing, Steve.”  Tony reiterated._

_“It’s freaking great!  I’m happy.  I’m just-- what if I mess this up?” Steve asked quietly._

_Tony laughed.  “Please, if anyone is gonna mess it up, it’s me.  You’re gonna be a great parent.  You take care of me pretty well, and I have been referred to as ‘childish.’”_

_Steve groaned.  “You do bring up a pretty good point.  We should have your parents over for dinner this weekend and tell them.  Make sure we stress the fact that this was your idea.  The last thing I need is for them to think that I used my young appeal and tricked you into having a baby.”_

_Tony snorted.  “Please, Steve.  There is no way my dad thinks that you’re smart enough to trick_ me _.  No offense.  But my intellect has been referred to as ‘genius’ afterall.  If anything he’ll give me crap for, trapping you into this marriage with kids, or some bullshit like that.”_

_Steve laughed.  “Well you are a_ very _persuasive ‘genius’.  Who knows, maybe this was your evil plan all along.  To trick me into staying by having us knock up a surrogate mother.  I still can’t believe that she’s actually pregnant.”_

_“Believe it.  I mean she did get a double dose.”_

_“God, I don’t want to think about the logistics, Ton.  We did it.  She’s pregnant.  That’s it.”_

_“Whatever you say, Cap.”  Steve could practically hear Tony smirking over the phone.  “I’ll be home soon, and we’ll celebrate.”_

_“Yeah, okay,” Steve said, smiling.  “I’ll see you soon.”_

* * *

 

_9 months later_

_When Steve awoke to the phone ringing in the middle of the night, the last thing he was expecting was to hear Karen on the other end.  “Steve, my water broke!  The baby’s coming.”  He and Tony had rushed over to Karen’s apartment so quickly, they must have violated at least fifty traffic laws and that was before they raced her over to the hospital._

_When they finally got there, Steve and Tony had to wait in the waiting area… for fourteen hours.  Fourteen hours they waited for Ant to be born.  Fourteen hours were spent pacing in the waiting room, desperately asking for answers.  It was their first kid.  They had no idea that it was typical to be waiting for hours on end for the baby to be delivered._

_Tony was arguing with the nurse behind the desk when Karen’s doctor walked out.  Steve shot out of his seat and ran over to the woman.  “Is the baby okay?  Is it a boy or a girl?  When can we take it home?”_

_The doctor smiled, a little flustered.  Tony must have just noticed that the doctor came out because he raced over and bombarded her with more questions.  “Is the baby alright?  Why did it take so long?  Were there any complications?  Because I will get my specialist over here so fast--”_

_"The baby’s fine.  He’s doing very well--”_

_“He? It’s a boy?” Tony interrupted._

_The doctor nodded.  “Yes, he is a very healthy baby boy.  He is being bathed now, and then we’ll bring you in to see him.”_

_“Why can’t we see him now?  Why are you denying us the right to see our child--” Tony began to argue with the doctor._

_“Mr. Stark, no one is denying you anything.  You can wait with the surrogate mother while we bathe him, but no one besides staff is allowed in that area,” she explained calmly._

_Steve nodded frantically.  “Yeah, yeah, okay, we’ll wait with Karen.  But he’s okay?”_

_"He’s fine, Captain Rogers.”  The doctor answered him slowly.  “I’ll show you to Ms. Page’s room.”_

_"Thank you very much, doctor,”  Steve said appreciatively.  “This is our first child.  We’re not really sure how to proceed.”_

_“It’s alright, Captain.” Her expression softened.  “The first one is always the most stressful.”_

_She was right.  Steve didn’t know it yet but out of all the kids, Ant’s infancy caused them the most anxiety out of the three._

_They walked into Karen’s room.  She was there with her mother.  Karen smiled weakly to the two men.  “Hi.  Have you seen him yet?  The doctor said everything went well.”_

_Tony walked over to Karen and kissed the top of her head.  “No, we haven’t seen him yet.  How are you doing, kiddo?  I can’t begin to tell you how much Steve and I appreciate this.”_

_She shrugged.  “I’m fine.  Once they gave me the epidural it was a lot easier.  I requested that you two be in the room when I was delivering but the doctors insisted family only, and since we don’t know which one of you is the father…”_

_“Don’t worry about it,” Steve said, looking anxiously out the door.  He was hoping to get a glance at the baby.  “We’re just glad that both you and the baby are fine.”_

_She giggled a bit.  “Yeah, we’re both fine.  I’m just so happy for you two.”_

_"It wouldn’t have been possible without you,” said Steve honestly.  “You’ve been a godsend, Karen.  Really.”_

_“I’m just glad that everything’s worked out.”  Karen beamed at them.  “Though truth be told, I’m glad to return to my regular diet of junk food.”_

_Tony chuckled.  “Honey, after everything you’ve done for us, I’ll buy you all the burgers and potato chips you want.”_

_Karen’s mother gave a slight frown from the corner of the room, but she didn’t say anything.  Steve wasn’t sure what the woman’s thoughts were on the whole situation, but she didn’t seem too unhappy, just slightly displeased._

_Finally, after a few minutes, the nurse walked in the room with their new baby.  Steve was sure he stopped breathing.  He had to have stopped breathing.  All he could focus on was the baby boy in the nurse’s arms.  The nurse went to give him to Karen who shook her head.  “No, no, no.  I mean he’s… he’s wonderful but, he… he belongs to those two, and I think they’ve waited long enough to meet their son.”_

_The nurse gave them an apologetic smile.  “I didn’t realize.”  She handed the small boy to Tony.  Steve walked over and he could swear he was gonna cry.  He shot over to Karen and kissed her cheek. “Thank you, thank you so much.  Karen, you’ve given us the most amazing gift anyone could ever give.  You’re a freaking angel.”  She smiled, but didn’t respond._

_The next thing he knew, Tony was passing the kid to him.  Steve took the boy from Tony gingerly.  He couldn’t believe how light the baby felt in his arms.  He was worried he was gonna drop the infant.  He slowly sat down in one of the chairs and just cradled the boy.  He stayed like that for hours, just watching the boy, who would occasionally whine, but otherwise just slept contently in his arms.  Before he knew it, the nurse was taking their son back to the nursery._

_Steve frowned as he looked to Tony.  “I wish we could just take him home now.”_

_Tony laughed.  “We’ve gotta wait at least two or three days.  They need to make sure he’s healthy.  Not everything shows up right away.  Plus right now, he’s got no immune system, so he’d probably just get sick easier.”_

_“What are you guys gonna name him?” Karen yawned from her bed._

_“We were thinking Anthony, after Tony obviously, and his middle name would be Joseph, after my father.” Steve answered looking back to the mother of their child._

_“That’s nice.  Anthony Joseph Stark--”_

_“Rogers-Stark.”  Steve corrected with an understanding smile.  We’re gonna hyphenate the last names.”_

_“It’s still nice,” Karen said thoughtfully._

_Tony looked at his watch and frowned.  “Looks like visiting hours are almost over.” He turned to Karen.  “If you need anything from us, anything at all, just call us or shoot us a text.  We’re gonna be here tomorrow morning so we’ll bring you whatever you need.”_

_“Thank you, but I don’t think that’ll be necessary,” Karen said politely.  “You guys have done enough, really.”_

_Steve walked over to her, and hugged her.  “Well, regardless, if you need anything we’ll get it for you, alright?”_

_She nodded as Tony hugged her goodbye and the two went home for the night._

_Two days later, they brought little Anthony home from the hospital.  Tony’s parents were there as well as Natasha and Clint.  Steve couldn’t believe how lucky he was.  Tony had the bassinet all set up for the baby in their bedroom, and everything was set up.  Except Steve._

_Steve was a nervous wreck, all day and night.  He hated other people holding the baby, and had Tony check whether or not the bassinet was sturdy several times, before putting the baby in it.  Even once the infant was in the small crib, Steve stood over it to make sure that Ant was safe and comfortable._

_“Babe, come to bed.” Tony groaned from underneath the covers.  “He’s fine.  He’s only like five feet away from the bed anyway.  If anything’s wrong, we’ll be right here.”_

_Steve frowned as he shook his head.  “I’m fine, Tony.  I just want to make sure he’s okay.  You’re sure you put this together right?”_

_Tony rolled his eyes. “Steve, babe, I’m paid to build things a lot more complex than a bassinet.  It’s structurally sound, I swear.”_

_“We can’t be too sure though, right?” Steve bit his lip.  “Maybe we should just take turns watching over him, to make sure he’s okay.”_

_“No way, Steve,” Tony said groggily.  “It’s only a matter of time before he wakes up crying.  Kid’s been napping all day, it’s gonna catch up to him.”_

_Steve nodded. “Yeah, you’re right.  I should just stay up until he does--”_

_“Steve, just come lay down.  When he starts crying we’ll deal with it.” Tony yawned._

_“But I hate when he cries.” Steve pouted.  “I don’t want him to get upset.”_

_Tony stared at him for a moment.  “He’s an infant.  He’s gonna cry no matter what you do.  It’s the only way the kid knows how to communicate.  He’s not in pain or anything.:_

_“How do you know?  He could be hurting and we wouldn’t know the difference.” Steve looked back to the crib anxiously._

_“We’d know.  There’s a difference.  I’m sure of it.” Tony said reassuringly, “Now come to bed.”_

_Steve shook his head again.  “I don’t know, Tony.  I don--”_

_“Babe, he’s asleep.  If he were in pain, he’d probably be screaming bloody murder right now.  Come to bed.  The moment he starts fussing, you have my total blessing to start coddling him.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes.  “Tony--”_

_“I swear to god, Steve, if this kid wakes up because you won’t get your ass to bed--”_

_“Fine.  I’ll lay down.” Steve sat down on the bed.  He just stared at the bassinet, not laying down, but at least he was in the bed and Tony would stop arguing about it.  Or so he thought._

_“Can you at least pretend to sleep?  If not purely for my benefit, then maybe do it because then you may actually fall asleep,” Tony snarked. “I’m gonna try and get into the office for a few hours tomorrow, so you’re gonna need to be conscious to take care of the kid.”_

_“Okay, I get the point.”  Steve grunted as he lie down.  “I’ll close my eyes for a little bit.”_

_He only closed his eyes for a minute… or it felt like a minute, before the baby started crying.  Steve jumped out of the bed and ran over to the cradle.  He picked up the boy clumsily.  He glanced at the clock.  He managed to get two hours of sleep, which was more than he was anticipating.  He took the kid downstairs and into the living room, where they had the changing table setup._

_He checked the diaper, it was dry, which was a relief.  The last thing Steve wanted to do right now was change the kid’s dirty diaper.  He picked up the baby and walked over to the kitchen.  Steve opened the refrigerator and took out some of the formula.  He then filled up a bowl with some warm water and placed the baggie of formula in it to warm up a little bit.  He began rocking Anthony in his arms._

_Steve groaned as he looked down at the baby. “You’re lucky you’re cute, kid. Your dad needs his beauty sleep, and I’m sure he’ll be complaining about this outburst tomorrow.  I don’t mind, though.  I don’t usually sleep much anyway.  I should actually be thanking you, if I sleep more than this long, I usually wind up having a nightmare.  Our secret, though.  If your dad finds out, he’ll have a fit.”_

_The baby just continued to whine at him.  Steve smiled.  He never thought that he could ever find crying to be endearing, but… this kid was too goddamn cute for his own good.  Plus, it gave Steve some bonding time.  The kid was probably confused about the lack of Karen, and probably had no idea who Steve or Tony were.  Sure they had spent time with Karen while she was pregnant, but they hadn’t exactly been talking to the fetus.  They mainly just took her to doctor appointments and checkups._

_Steve walked over the formula and tested the warmth.  It seemed warm enough, so he emptied the pouch into the bottle.  Steve brought the bottle to the baby’s face who yawned, closed his mouth and turned his head, before whining again._

_“I take it you’re not hungry,” Steve said with a yawn.  He put the bottle on the counter, examining it. “Fair enough.  Trust me this, all liquid diet is temporary.  When you’re older, I’ll make you whatever you want._

_“You’re probably just bored. I get it, little man.  If I spent all day being held and adored by everyone, this would seem pretty boring to me too.  Plus you spent all day napping in everyone’s arms, that bassinet must be pretty uncomfortable in comparison.  You know, your dad likes attention, too.  He’d be very proud to see that you’re already trying to steal the spotlight.” Steve smiled at the boy fondly as he sat down on the couch, rocking the child in his arms._

_After about an hour sitting there rocking him, the boy’s breathing began to even out.  Steve sighed in relief, the baby went back to sleep.  He slowly made his way back up the steps.  He tenderly placed the baby back into the bassinet.  This time he didn’t need Tony’s urging to return to bed.  He was tired enough to do it on his own._

* * *

 

_One year later_

_Steve loved parenthood.  He loved waking up early and playing with Ant in the playpen.  He loved taking Ant out in town, and to his check ups with the pediatrician, but… it was getting boring.  Not necessarily a bad boring--he loved being a parent.  He just wanted to do something for himself.  He brought Ant down to the gym one day, just to check in with everyone when he saw a poster on the bulletin to volunteer at the veteran’s hospital.  It would mainly be just helping out some of the patients and keeping up morale.  There was no harm in looking into it._

_Steve fastened Ant into the car seat.  The boy had already grown so much since they brought him home from the hospital.   It was becoming increasingly obvious that Ant was Tony’s biological son.  Even the little facial expressions that the kid made were all Tony.  It was probably the most adorable thing, in Steve’s opinion.  He drove down to the hospital, occasionally checking on the baby in the rearview mirror._

_When he got there, he stuck Ant in the stroller and headed inside.  He walked over to the front desk, but no one was sitting there.  Steve glanced down the hallway.  There was no one there.  He looked down in the stroller.  Ant seemed content enough playing with his toy phone.  Tony had specially made it so that Steve and Tony’s voices spoke through the toy as if they were actually on the other end of the phone._

_Steve looked around the lobby, again it was empty.  If he didn’t know any better he would have thought that he and Ant were the only ones there.  Finally a man entered the lobby._

_“Hey, sorry about that.  We had a bit of an issue with one of the patients,” the man said._

_"It’s no problem,” said Steve casually.  “I saw a flier down at the gym, and I wanted to see if you still needed volunteers.”_

_“Sure, let me get you an application.” He paused.  “Holy shit.  Man, I’m sorry.  I didn’t realize I was talking to Steve Rogers.  Shit, man.  A lot of the guys--and girls--in here, you’re practically all they talk about.  I mean you’ve probably made the biggest military differences in your very brief service time.  Name’s Sam by the way.”_

_“It’s a pleasure to meet you, but I really didn’t do as much as the media led people to believe,” Steve said._

_Sam shrugged. “Well either way, you’ve still got to fill out this application.  Between you and me, they’re desperate here., so they’ll take you as soon as possible  You fill this out, I’m sure they’ll call you back in less than a week.”_

_Steve nodded as he shook Sam’s hand.  “I’m looking forward to it.”_

_Ant began to babble, and Steve instinctively looked down at the boy.  He was smiling at the toy phone as it played Tony’s voice._

_Sam chuckled.  “How old is he?”_

_"About a year,” Steve said grinning.  “We’re thinking about having another one.”_

_Sam laughed.  “I can’t imagine having one this young and then saying to myself ‘you know another one that’s even smaller and more dependent on me… that’s a good idea’.  I mean to each his own, but …this must be the most well behaved child… ever.”_

_Steve shrugged.  “He’s not so bad.  Sure he doesn’t sleep through the night, but… I can’t explain it… there’s something about having a kid.”_

_“Say no more,” Sam smiled.  “I was just pulling your leg, man.  Honestly, I think it’s great.  We all need to do something when we come home, and being a parent is far from a bad option.”_

_“You served?”_

_“Yeah, airforce.  Mainly search and rescue, but sometimes we had to do some covert shit.  I’m sure you’re all too familiar with that,” Sam clarified._

_“When you serve, you do what’s asked of you.”_ For the most part _, Steve added mentally._

_Sam nodded knowingly.  “Look, man, fill out the application and bring it back.  I’ve gotta take care of some stuff, but I’ll put in a good word.  Not that you’ll need it, my supervisor will probably want to meet you for real to make sure this isn’t some lame prank.”_

_“Sounds good,” Steve said appreciatively. “Thanks.”_

_“No problem, thanks for your service, Captain,” Sam called out as he rushed down the hall._

_Steve looked back to Ant in the stroller who was now giggling about something.  “You better get used to this place, little man.  I think you and I are going to be spending most of our afternoons here.”_

_The boy yawned before saying “Pa…”  Steve groaned as he put the baby back in his car seat.  It was only a matter of time before Ant would be crying for his bottle, it was almost his nap time as it was._

_Within two weeks Steve did begin volunteering at the hospital.  Usually it was only for an hour a couple of days out of the week.  Ant was only on his best behavior for so long, but still Steve was finding that he greatly enjoyed it.  He liked talking to the veterans who, in Steve’s opinion, had done far more for far less recognition than himself.  He liked Sam.  It was nice to have a friend that didn’t come with Tony.  While Clint and Natasha were great, they were friends with Tony too, and he couldn’t really vent to them about him._

_Not that there was much for him to even vent about.  Tony was great, there were just little things that got under his skin.  Talking about it usually made Sam laugh and reassure him that it was just normal married stuff.  It was great having someone to confide in, and talk to._

_Sam and Steve started going to the gym together and taking the same volunteer shifts.  Ant was even starting to add “Say-uh,” which was the closest he could get to actually saying “Sam” into his regular vocabulary._

_One day, they were jogging on their usual trail.  Steve was pushing Ant in the stroller, who was nodding off due to the motion.  Steve turned to Sam who was to his right.  “I’ve been thinking about reenlisting.”_

_Sam let out a low whistle.  “Wow, that’s a big deal, man.  What does Tony think about it?”_

_“I don’t know.  I haven’t asked him yet,” Steve said honestly.  “Don’t get me wrong, I don’t want to hide this from him, I’m just not sure how he’ll react.”_

_“I mean… wow.”  Sam shook his head.  “I don’t know, dude.  I mean have you actually considered everything at play here.  You’re talking about going from spending every waking minute with your kid to seeing him once every six or more months at a time.  Not to mention you’re gonna have the whole ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’ thing working against you.  Plus, aren’t you going to therapy for PTSD?  There’s a pretty good chance they won’t even take you back.”_

_“I actually took that into account.  I figure if I can get Tony to set up a press conference--”_

_"Then what?  Then you essentially strong arm the military into taking you back?  Plus in order for you to do that, you’d have to actually talk to Tony about the whole thing,” Sam interjected._

_Steve frowned.  Sam definitely had quite a few points. “All right, I get it.  I’ll talk to Tony about it.”_

_“You better, man.  I swear if Riley ever tried pulling that crap.  I would have killed him if the terrorists didn’t do it first,” Sam said, half joking and half serious._

_Sam rarely discussed Riley.  From what Steve could tell, Riley was a fellow comrade who was killed in action when Sam was overseas.  Steve guessed that they were in some sort of a relationship, but he never asked for clarification.  It was clearly a sore spot for Sam._

_Steve nodded. “You’re right, I should talk to Tony.  Which reminds me, he wants to invite you over for dinner this weekend.  He really wants to meet you.”_

_Sam snorted. “He probably wants to make sure that I’m not trying to swoop in and steal his husband.  But, yeah, sure.  It’s been a long time since I’ve had a nice home-cooked meal.”_

_"I thought you said you were a good cook?” Steve teased, peering into the stroller to check on the sleeping toddler._

_“I am.  It doesn’t mean that I like to do it all the time,” Sam said honestly.  “If it’s between taking the time to cook or picking up something, I’m gonna pick up some takeout.  It’s just a hell of a lot easier for me.”_

_“I hear you,” Steve said. “But Tony likes my cooking and I enjoy it, so it works for us.  I’ll tell him you’re good for dinner.  Saturday sound good?”_

_“Yeah, I’ll be there at six. Tell him thanks for the invite.”_

_“Will do.”_

_Steve took Ant back home, eager to get the baby in his crib.  Ant was always cranky when he napped in his stroller or carseat.  Of course the moment that Steve moved him from the stroller to the car seat, the boy started hysterically crying._

_Steve groaned as he packed up the stroller and got in the car.  Driving was stressful to say the least.  Not only was he thinking about what to tell Tony, but Anthony was hysterically crying just yelling out, “Papa, papa! Nap-tie!”_

_“I know, little man.” Steve called back.  “Once we get you home you can sleep in your nice crib, with your teddy bear.”_

_When Steve finally made it back home, he brought the boy right up to his bedroom.  He placed the baby in his crib, and after a few moments of yelling and crying the boy finally drifted off to sleep._

_Steve shook his head as he walked back down the steps.  To his surprise, Tony was home early._

_“Hey, what’s up?  Everything okay at the office?” Steve asked, pecking Tony’s lips quickly as he began unpacking Ant’s diaper bag._

_Tony shook his head.  “I just figured it’d be nice to come home a little early.  Where’s Junior?”_

_“Napping,” Steve said fondly.  “The fresh air really wears him out.  He gets that same look on his face that you get right before you’re about to fall asleep.”_

_“Yeah?  I guess I wouldn’t know.  So I guess you went_ jogging _again with…_ Sam,” _Tony said bitterly.  “I swear our son says his name more than he says ‘Dada’.  Doesn’t that strike you as a bit odd?”_

_Steve laughed.  “Tony, you should hear him when you’re not home.  He cries for you all the time.  He’s happiest once you’re here with us.  Sam is just someone else who treats him like a prince, the kid’s bound to catch on._

_“That reminds me, I invited Sam over for dinner this weekend.  He said he’d come,” Steve added._

_“Great.  I can’t wait to meet him,”  Tony said shooting a glance to the stairs._

_Steve groaned. “Tony, if you wake him up I swear to God--”_

_“Relax, I’m not that stupid.  If I wake him up he’ll give me hell, never mind you.”  Tony rolled his eyes._

_“Good,” Steve said before softening his expression.  “I wanna talk to you about something.”_

_Tony sighed.  “Well so long as you’re not leaving me, it can’t be too bad so… shoot.”_

_“I’m thinking about reenlisting.”  Steve bit his lip._

_There was a long pause and Steve wasn’t sure how much more silence he could take.  Tony stared at him, clearly searching for the right thing to say._

_“Are you out of your mind?” Tony broke the silence after a few moments.  “You want to reenlist?  You barely made it out alive the first time, why would you want to go through that again?  I don’t underst--”_

_“Tony, I wanted to dedicate my life to this country.  That’s what I signed up for when I enlisted.  Instead I only served for less than two years.  If that.  Plus, I’m practically back in fighting shape, and if I do it when Ant’s young then--”_

_“Then what?  How do you think this is gonna work Steve?” Tony asked with a frustrated expression.  “We haven’t even been married for two years yet, and you want to leave for an undisclosed amount of time?  Has it even occurred to you how much you’ll miss with our son?  Kids grow up fast, Steve.  Do you really want his memories of you to be brief instances when he wasn’t worried that you were getting blown up somewhere?  This is a terrible idea._

_“They probably wouldn’t even take you back.  Have you forgotten about ‘Don’t Ask Don’t Tell’?  What about your PTSD, and other injuries.  Won’t those be an issue too?” Tony snapped._

_Steve looked down.  “Tony, I don’t think you understand how important this is to me--”_

_“Karen’s pregnant, Steve.” Tony cut in.  “We’re having another baby, and you want to leave?”_

_Steve paused.  “She’s pregnant?  Seriously?”_

_Tony nodded.  “Yeah,”  he said shortly, “That’s why I came home early.  I was hoping that we could celebrate.  I certainly wasn’t expecting you to tell me that you wanted to abandon me and our children--”_

_“It’s not abandonment-- I just-- I need to do something other than be SuperPops… you know.  Working out isn’t really doing it for me either, and I’m going nuts.  I just-- I want to do something good,” Steve clarified._

_“I get that, babe, I do.  But we have a family, and that’s a big freaking bomb to drop with our one year old child upstairs, and another one on the way.” Tony rubbed his forehead. “Why don’t we look into opening up that bakery you’ve been talking about?  It would give you something safe and local to do that you enjoy.  Plus it won’t require you risking your life on a daily basis.”  He paused again before saying, “Look, Steve, truth be told I can’t do this without you.  I can barely change the kid’s diapers, never mind raise him on my own.  We need you here, Cap.  You’ve got an important mission on the homefront.”_

_Steve nodded.  “You’re right.  I’m sorry, I wasn’t thinking.”_

_Tony kissed Steve’s lips tenderly.  “It’s alright.  I shouldn’t have started a fight.”_

_“So… we’re having another baby?”_

_Tony laughed.  “Damn right we are.”_

_“What are we gonna name it?” Steve asked grinning._

_“We could always name him or her after you this time,” Tony suggested._

_“I don’t know.” Steve shrugged.  “We could always name it after your dad or mom--”_

_Tony snorted.  “We named the first one after me.  It’s only fair.  Besides I like the name Steven… or Stephanie if it’s a girl.”_

_Steve shrugged.  “Whatever you want.  So long as the kid’s happy and healthy.”_

_“Well it’ll certainly be happy.  I think we’ve provided quite a healthy home here for our first one.  It only makes sense that the second one would experience the same perks that we have to offer here.” Tony smiled._

_Steve nodded. “We should start setting up the bedroom soon.  When’s Karen’s first doctor’s appointment?  We probably should go to that.  This is amazing!  We’ve gotta call your folks.  They’ll be thrilled.”_

_As far as Steve could tell, Howard had definitely warmed up to him over the past year and a half.  Especially once Ant came into the picture.  Plus, Howard used to work with the government and military far closer than Tony ever did, so there was a mutual respect there.  Steve honestly didn’t mind having Tony’s parents over.  Tony on the other hand much preferred talking to his parents over the phone than in person._

_“Yeah, I guess.  Maybe we can recruit them to babysit for an evening.  I can’t remember the last time you and I had a romantic night out,” Tony suggested thoughtfully._

_Steve gave a slight nod.  “Sure,  if they’re up to it.  Anthony can be a handful.”_

_“They were able to handle me--”_

_“You were a nanny baby.  They didn’t have to handle you.  They had someone for that,”  Steve gently reminded his husband._

_Tony chuckled.  “Fair point.  But my parents have embraced the whole grandparent thing so… what the hell?  Maybe they’ll be up for it.  Besides, Junior loves them.”_

_“Of course he does,” Steve said matter-of-factly. “They’re his grandparents and they adore him.  I hope he won’t get jealous of his new sibling…” He trailed off._

_“I’m sure he will.  He’ll be a two year old.  They get jealous if you or I so much as look at another baby,” Tony pointed out.  “But I’m sure in time, he’ll adore his new sibling.”_

_Steve smiled as he draped his arms around his husband’s neck.  “Let’s order in.  We’ll celebrate and relax… and_ celebrate _.  Plus after his nap, Ant will be all smiles again, and I’m sure he’ll be so happy to see his dad.”_

_Tony grinned as he rested his hands on Steve’s hips.  “That sounds like a great idea.  Maybe once we put him to bed for the night, I can take_ you _to bed for the night?  I mean when’s the last time we’ve been able to do…. much of anything.  The office has been hell, and you’ve been exhausted from baby duty.”_

_Steve let out a low moan as Tony began pressing light kisses to his neck and throat.  “It’s been… so long.  I’ve missed this.”_

_“Yeah especially when you factor in the first six months when you insisted upon sleeping on the kid’s floor,” Tony teased in between kisses._

_“I wanted to be sure he was safe,” Steve pouted leaning into Tony._

_Tony laughed against Steve’s skin.  “I know you did, and I love you for it.  But that was pretty much six months where we weren’t sleeping together… by any definition of the term.”_

_Steve smirked as he tugged Tony’s hand and led him to the steps.  “Well then, please… let me make it up to you.”_

* * *

 

_A Year and a Half Later_

_Ant was turning three years old soon, and Tony insisted on sending the boy to nursery school.  It was insane looking for preschools and meeting with principals while taking care of baby Stephanie._

_Stephanie was far better behaved than Ant was at her age.  She was a generally happy baby, she almost never fussed, and at most woke them up three times a night.  She adored Anthony who, despite being a little jealous, adored his baby sister.  He was constantly drawing her pictures and giving her some of his stickers._

_They were currently waiting in the lobby of a preschool.  Ant was playing with Tony while Steve was rocking Stephanie in his arms.  She was smiling up at him, and Steve hoped she would stay that content for the meeting._

_“Can’t he wait a year, Tony?  I mean he’s practically still a baby.”  Steve frowned looking at his little boy._

_Tony snorted.  “We should have had him enrolled a year ago.  We don’t want him to be behind.  He’s probably going to be a chip off the old block.  The kid’s a genius.”_

_“Well, genius or not, I want him to be a kid.  Not some overworked, and stressed out toddler.  I hope you’re not doing this for me.  I’m fine looking after him and the baby.” Steve smiled fondly as his son giggled at something Tony whispered in the kid’s ear._

_The toddler walked over to Steve and leaned his head on Steve’s lap.  “I wuv you, Papa.  Dada says that I’m smart.  Smart boys go to school.”  The boy said matter-of-factly._

_“I know, baby.  But if you don’t want to go to school--”_

_“Then he’ll suck it up like a big boy,” Tony interjected._

_Steve frowned before scoldingly saying, “Tony--”_

_Ant let out a musical laugh.  “Dada’s in trouble.”_

_“Is that right?” Tony asked, grinning from ear to ear.  “See Steve, he knows your ‘angry’ voice.  I hope you don’t talk to our son in this tone all the time.”_

_Steve rolled his eyes until he heard Stephanie laughing along with her brother.  “Oh you think it’s funny too?”  He asked the baby.  “I bet you think anything your big brother says is so smart and funny.  But he’s still a baby just like you.”_

_“Nu-uh,” Ant said sticking his tongue out.  “I’m big.  Dada says I’m a big boy.”_

_“See, he agrees.” Tony clapped his hands together._

_“He’s two.  He agrees with everything you say.” Steve shook his head.  “Besides, he’s still my little man--”_

_“Big boy.” Ant pouted crossing his arms._

_Tony laughed.  “Are you really gonna fight with a two year old?  Because, that’s usually my thing.”_

_Steve opened his mouth to speak when they were called inside for their meeting.  So he put the baby in her car seat/carrier and walked into the office, with Tony and Ant following behind him._

_For the most part it was the same stuff that the other schools had to say.  Except this one seemed far more intense.  All they were talking about were academics, and while it was important for Ant to learn the essentials, Steve was hoping that this place would have more of a balance between play and the academics.  This place sounded like college for babies._

_Tony seemed ecstatic about this place.  He was grinning the whole time asking more and more questions about the learning opportunities._

_Finally Steve had to interject. “I’m sorry, but do you even have a playground?”_

_The principal paused, with his mouth half opened.  The principal looked to Tony, clearly stunned and unsure what to say._

_“How many play based opportunities to learn are there?  All the books say that’s the best way for kids this age to develop and learn.  It’s also been proven to help kids with social interaction and problem solving skills.” Steve folded his arms before saying with a deadpan expression, “I read.”_

_The principal didn’t respond.  He looked back to Tony who just shrugged._

_Much to Steve’s relief Tony responded, “If you can’t answer his questions then I guess we’re done here.”_

_“Wait--wait--wait,”  The principal said, standing up. “Of course play is something that we encourage here.  It’s just.  Usually parents don’t come in with these sorts of questions--”_

_“Are you implying that the other parents aren’t taking their children’s education seriously, then what does that say about your school?” Tony asked, crossing his arms, which Ant mimicked._

_Steve stood up and picked up Stephanie’s car seat.  “I don’t think we have anything left to discuss.”_

_Tony nodded before turning to the principal and making a face.  “Tough break.  I wouldn’t count on hearing from us in the future.”  He turned to their son. “C’mon, Junior.  Let’s get out of here.  Maybe we can make something cool in my workshop when we get home.”_

_Ant smiled as he leapt out of his chair.  “Okay, Dada.”_

_After a few more weeks of looking for preschools, they finally settled on one that had a good balance of play and education.  Steve still thought Ant was a little too young, but Tony insisted that it was time.  There was no harm in trying.  If it didn’t work out, he could always pull Ant out of the school._

_The days leading up to Ant’s first day were probably the best.  Between picking out Ant’s backpack, lunchbox, and school supplies, the kid was ecstatic.  He was over the moon.  He couldn’t wait to make friends and learn new things.  It was precious, but Steve wished he would stay a baby for just a little longer._

_For Ant’s first day, Tony took off from the office so he could be there to drop him off.  Thank god for that too, because as excited as Ant was in the days leading up to it, Ant had a different opinion when they got to the school.  He was yelling and crying and clinging to Steve._

_Steve looked to Tony. “Let’s just take him home. He’s clearly not ready.”_

_Tony shook his head. “No way. He needs to learn that this won’t work on us.”_

_“Too bad, it_ is _working on us. Or at least it’s working on me.”  Steve picked the crying child up and took him in his arms.  “He’s not ready.  He’s still a baby, Ton--”_

_Tony rolled his eyes as he took the boy from Steve’s hands.  “Steve, take Stephanie and go wait in the car.  I’ve got this.”_

_Steve frowned, looking at the weeping boy.  “I don’t know, Tony.”_

_“Trust me.”  Tony motioned to Stephanie’s stroller.  “I’ll be right out.”_

_Steve nodded as he grudgingly began rolling Stephanie down the hall.  He tried his best to ignore the pleading cries of “Papa!  Peas!  I want go home!”  It was heartbreaking.  It took every ounce of willpower Steve had to not turn around and bring his little boy home.  But Tony had a point.  Ant would have to go to school eventually and he couldn’t learn that all he would have to do is tear up a little bit and then they would give in._

_Steve finally made it out to the car.  Stephanie was whining a little bit, likely because she saw that her big brother was upset.  Steve put the baby in her carseat as he began packing up her stroller.  After a few minutes Tony came waltzing out of the building, with a stupid grin on his face._

_“He’s in,” Tony said triumphantly._

_“What the hell, Stark!” Steve snapped.  “Why exactly do you feel the need to torment our child?”_

_Tony frowned.  “Relax.  I hung out for a little bit after he thought I left, and he’s fine.  He’s playing with the other kids.  There’s not a single tear.”_

_“You swear?” Steve bit his lip._

_“I swear.”  Tony pecked Steve’s lips.  “C’mon, let’s go back home and put Stephie down for a nap.”_

_Steve glanced back towards the school.  “Okay, but I want to get here early when we have to pick him up.  Just to see for myself.”_

_Tony groaned.  “Fine--fine.  If you coddle him and make him a mess, remember it’s your fault.”_

_“At least he won’t be emotionally damaged,” Steve said as he hopped into the car._

_Tony sat in the driver’s seat.  He glanced into the back before turning back and frowning.  “We’re gonna need a bigger car.  I think it’s time for a minivan.”_

_Steve shrugged.  “Yeah, I guess.  Especially if we ever have another one.”_

_Tony nodded.  “Exactly.  Plus when these two get older, it’s gonna get cramped in here.”_

_“Fair point,” Steve said, looking back at the school again.  “Let’s just get out of here before I change my mind.”_

_Tony laughed. “Alright, alright.  I’m leaving now.”_

_The three hours that Ant was in school were the longest three hours of Steve’s life.  Every two minutes he was checking the clock.  He thought Tony was going to kill him, the way Steve was pacing back and forth and Tony was rolling his eyes._

_“The kid’s fine, Steve.  They would have called us if there was a problem.” Tony pointed out honestly._

_Steve shook his head.  “I don’t know, Tony.  I’ve never been one for this ‘tough love’ thing.  He’s just a baby.”_

_“No, he’s almost three.  This time in two years, he’ll be in kindergarten.  This will make it easier when he has to go through that,” Tony said calmly.  “This is what’s best, I promise.  When dropping him off at kindergarten is a breeze, you can thank me.”_

_Steve frowned.  “It better be, or I swear--Tony, if we’re traumatizing our child for no reason--”_

_“Steve, it’s preschool.  It’s not like I’m sending him to fight in the war.  He’s fine.  Just a little nervous.  I’m sure your books will say that it’s perfectly normal.” Tony switched on the television._

_“Don’t use the books against me, I don’t give a crap what they have to say right now.  My son was crying for me and I just left him.”_

_“Oh so he’s not_ our _son anymore, he’s_ your _son?” Tony asked.  “I think you’re overreacting, babe.  It was gonna happen sooner or later.”_

_“Well I vote for later, not that you took my opinion into account,” Steve snapped._

_Tony laughed.  “Oh my god.  It would be nice if you dialed back the drama a little bit.”_

_“I’m not being dramatic--”_

_“Trust me you’re being super dramatic,” Tony said, not looking away from the television._

_Steve groaned. “Really?  Because I remember telling you that I wanted him to wait a year, and you said that he was ready.”_

_“And you agreed.  How is this my fault?  Who is to say he wouldn’t have reacted this way a year from now?  He’s there.  He’s fine.  We’ll see him in less than two hours so please-- enough with this bitch fit!  He’s a toddler in preschool.  Alert the authorities apparently preschool is a new form of child abuse.”  Tony scoffed._

_“Now who’s being dramatic?”_

_“It’s still you,” Tony said, rolling his eyes._

_Steve tapped his foot, and began pacing again.  “He’s too young--”_

_“So you’ve been saying, but he’s in a class with kids his age.  I’m gonna have to continue to disagree with you on that, Steve.” Tony shook his head.  “Why don’t you go check on Steph or something.  That should help keep your mind off of it.”_

_“Don’t patronize me--”_

_“I’m not,” Tony said calmly.  “I’m just trying to help.”_

_Steve stopped pacing.  He abruptly made his way into the kitchen and began rummaging through the cabinets in the kitchen._

_“Babe, what are you doing?”_

_“I’m making chocolate cake, Ant’s favorite,” Steve answered cooly. “This way he can have some comfort food when he comes home.”_

_Tony sighed. “Do whatever you want, just don’t burn the house down.  That would be an_ actual _traumatic experience.”_

_Steve was seething, but he didn’t respond.  He didn’t want to say anything that he would regret later.  Steve continued to bake the cake.  He wanted his son to have something nice to come home to.  All he could think of was all the times he would come home to his mother, she always had some sort of sweet treat waiting for him.  That was before she got sick._

_Finally the cake was done and it was almost time to go get Ant.  “Did the baby wake up?” Steve asked._

_Tony shook his head.  “I don’t think so.  She hasn’t been crying, but then again, she never cries.”_

_“I’ll go check, we’ve gotta get Ant soon.” Steve headed up the steps, not looking at his husband._

_When he entered the room, he saw Stephanie laying in the crib all smiles.  She gave a little yawn, but that was it.  When she saw Steve her eyes lit up.  Steve smiled at the baby girl as he picked her up.  She was still dry and she didn’t seem too hungry, but Steve gave her a bottle just in case.  She drank a little bit, but not the whole thing._

_Steve brought her back downstairs and set her up in the portable carseat.  “C’mon, we’ve gotta go.”  He looked at Tony, who was still sitting on the couch._

_“The school doesn’t let out for a half hour.”_

_“Well it takes almost fifteen minutes to get there, and I told you that I wanted to get there a little early so--” Steve began._

_“All right, all right.  I’m coming.  No need to have another mental breakdown,” Tony said, turning off the TV._

_Steve frowned, but didn’t bother to respond.  Once Ant was back home, this stupid argument wouldn’t even matter._

_They got in the car. Steve and Tony both refused to say a word to each other as they drove down to the preschool.  Steve just sat there with his arms crossed, not even looking in Tony’s general direction.  At last, they arrived at the school, and Steve managed to put Stephanie into the stroller in record time.  He raced into the building, Tony trailing behind slowly._

_He walked over to Ant’s classroom.  He was able to see in through the window and Ant was… actually having fun.  Which was a huge relief of course, but Steve felt a bit ridiculous.  He had made such a big deal out of nothing.  Tony was right, Ant was doing fine._

_When Tony caught up to them he had a smug look on his face.  He glanced in the window.  “See, I told you the kid was having a blast.”_

_“I know you did,” Steve said honestly.  “I just… I was worried.”_

_“And I love that,” Tony said, “Really.  Sometimes I can be a little too relaxed about certain things.  We even each other out, but he’s fine.  He’s actually enjoying himself with kids his own age.  He’s going to be learning a lot, and preschool is important.”_

_Steve nodded.  “Of course it is, but… he’s growing up so fast.  Soon he’s not gonna need us anymore.”_

_Tony snickered.  “One day yeah, but he’s still only two.  He’s gonna need us for lots of stuff for at least a little while longer.  Besides, I’m sure he’s gonna love that cake you made him, he still can’t make that on his own.”_

_“I guess you’re right… again.  I just don’t get how you could be so calm after he was freaking out this morning,” Steve admitted.  “All I could hear were his little cries echoing in my head all day.  It was awful.”_

_Tony shrugged.  “I saw that he was doing fine before I went back to the car.  If he had kept crying, I would have taken him back home like you wanted to.  But he wasn’t.  Once I left, he stopped and started playing with his classmates.  Our boy is fine, and independent.  Those are good things.”_

_After a few minutes, the door swung open for dismissal.  When Ant came out, with his backpack unzipped and hanging from his shoulders, he grinned widely at Steve and Tony.  He raced over to Steve, who had crouched down to the boy’s level.  Ant leapt into Steve’s arms and hugged him tightly._

_“I missed you, Papa,” he said as Steve tightened his grip on the boy._

_When Steve finally let go, he raced over to the stroller.  He got on his tip toes and looked inside.  “Stepp.  School was fun.  You can go too, when you’re bigger.”_

_The baby girl just giggled happily at the sight of her brother.  Tony gave Steve a look that practically said ‘I told you so.’_

_Steve smiled, picking the boy up as Tony began wheeling the stroller back down the hall.  “Did you have a good day at school, little man?”_

_“Yeah, I playded with toys, and counted all da way to ten!” Ant showed Steve all ten of his fingers.  “Did you knowed that peoples have ten fingerses?”_

_Steve nodded. “I did.  I’m sure you’re going to learn a lot at school.”_

_Ant giggled as he buried his face in Steve’s neck.  “Can you go to school wiff me, tomorrow?”_

_Steve frowned.  “Sorry, buddy.  I’m too old.  Papa’s not allowed in school.”_

_“But if Stepp is too wittle, and you’re too big… that don’t make sense, Pa.” Ant had a perplexed expression on his face._

_Steve chuckled.  “It’s kind of like Goldilocks, baby.  Your age is just right.”_

_“Oh,”  Ant said thoughtfully before giving a slight shrug.  “Okay.”_

_Tony put Steph in her car seat, while Steve helped Ant with his.  Ant was all smiles, and could barely sit still as he was telling Tony and Steve about his day at school.  “Pa, can we play when we goed home?”_

_Steve nodded as he finished fastening Ant into the carseat.  “Of course, little man.  I have a surprise for you when you get home.”_

_Ant gasped in delight and he clapped his hands.  “What is it?”_

_“You’ll have to wait and see, baby boy.”  Steve kissed the top of the boy’s head.  He closed Ant’s door and took his spot in the passenger seat._

_Tony gave Steve a smug smile as he drove them all home._

* * *

 

_A year and a half later_

_Steve was busy trying to potty train Stephanie when the phone rang.  Steve put the little girl in her pull-up as he glanced at the caller ID.  It was Tony.  “Hey, Ton.  Did you hear from Karen?  The baby should be coming any day now--”_

_“Babe, I’m coming home.  There was a car accident… my parents are in the hospital,” Tony said sounding distressed._

_“Oh my god.  Tony, what hospital are they in?  I can get Nat and Clint to watch the kids and then I’ll meet you there--”_

_He heard Tony give a sigh.  There was a pause.  “It doesn’t sound good, Steve.  When I spoke to the doctor he said I should probably start making arrangements....”_

_Steve’s heart dropped.  “Tony, I’m so sorry.  We’ll do whatever you need, just let me know.”_

_“I’m gonna come home.  We’ll take it from there.  I need to get changed and… see what my options are… ”  Tony exhaled.  “God, I don’t know how you do it.  I hardly even like my folks and this is hard.”_

_Steve grimaced.  “Don’t go to the dark place yet.  A few years ago, they told you I was as good as dead.  Look at me now.  Just try and think positive.”_

_“I don’t see that happening, Cap,” Tony said. “I’ll see you soon.”_

_Steve nodded, forgetting that Tony couldn’t see him.  “Okay, Tony.  I’ll see you in a bit.  Let me know if you need anything.”_

_“Just don’t tell the kids.  Not yet.  Once we figure everything out, we’ll talk to them together,” Tony said._

_“Of course.  I’ll make you something so you can eat first before you run off to the hospital.  Who knows how long you’ll be there,” Steve said, he was mainly just thinking out loud._

_“Thanks, Steve, but I don’t have much of an appetite. Worst comes to worst, I’ll eat something there.  I’ll be home soon.  Love you.” Tony’s voice replied._

_“I love you too.  We’ll see you in a bit,”  Steve said.  He paused until he heard Tony disconnect, and he closed the phone._

_Two days later they were attending the funeral.  Stephanie was too young to really understand what was going on, and so was Ant but, from what Steve could tell, the boy knew enough.  Ant was definitely sad as he held Tony’s hand at the cemetery.  Steve was carrying Stephanie who was holding one of the flowers that were distributed._

_Steve glanced at his husband.  Tony wasn’t taking this well at all.  Steve had never seen his husband cry, until Tony got home from work that day.  Tony was just going to change his clothes and head over to the hospital. As he walked through the door his phone had rang.  He was too late.  His parents had passed away. Tony broke down right then and there, demanding that there had to be some sort of chance.  With Stark money, surely there must be something that could be done.  Unfortunately the damage they sustained was too much._

_Steve remembered what it felt like to bury his mother.  It was difficult naturally, but after the funeral Steve became preoccupied with taking care of himself.  He had to get a job and support himself before he was old enough to enlist.  Oddly enough, that had helped his coping process, because he was able to keep his mind off of it, at least for a little while.  Tony didn’t have that luxury._

_Every news outlet in the nation was talking about Howard and Maria Stark’s tragic, untimely death.  Tony couldn’t even escape into his work, given that it was originally Howard’s company.  Steve wished there was something he could do to make it easier for his husband, but he didn’t know how to help._

_Stephanie began to whine.  “Dada…”_

_Steve tried to rock the little girl.  She must’ve seen Tony’s face.  It was evident to anyone with eyes that he was miserable.  Not that anyone could blame him._

_Tony must have heard Stephanie because he looked over to them and smiled softly.  “Wanna trade?”_

_Steve shrugged.  “If you want.  She’s just a little fussy.”_

_Tony nodded, taking the little girl out of Steve’s arms, as Ant grabbed Steve’s hand tightly._

_“Am I still getting another little sister?” Ant asked quietly._

_“Of course, little man.  Why wouldn’t you?” Steve answered the four year old’s question._

_Ant frowned.  “But she’s not gonna have a grandma and grandpa.”_

_Steve grimaced.  He really wasn’t sure how to respond to that.  Of course Ant would think that all kids were obligated to have at least one set of grandparents.  Howard and Maria were wonderful to Ant and Stephanie.  It must have been impossible for Ant to imagine a child growing up without that bond._

_“She will, baby.  She just won’t know them.  They’re her grandparents too, and we’ll make sure we tell the new baby all about them and how much they would have loved her.” That was all Steve was able to come up with.  He really wasn’t sure how else to respond._

_“‘s not the same,” Ant said looking up at Steve._

_“I know, baby.”  Steve picked the boy up, it was amazing how much he had grown.   Ant was getting heavier and heavier. “I know you’re gonna miss them.  They loved you very much, and now they’re in a better place.”_

_Ant nodded as he nuzzled his head into Steve’s neck.  “Like my other grandma and grandpa?”_

_Steve’s breath hitched a bit.  “Yeah, little man.  Like my parents.”_

_Steve felt his phone buzz, he ignored it.  This was more important than whatever the caller had to say.  Steve looked to Tony who was paying close attention to the ceremony, holding Stephanie who was falling asleep, her blond curls falling in front of her face._

_Steve’s phone began buzzing again, and he tried his best to ignore it.  Ant was still clinging to him, he knew this couldn’t be easy for the little boy.  While there was a lot he probably didn’t understand, Ant likely knew that this meant he wouldn’t see his grandparents again._

_After the ceremony they stayed for a while, watching as the caskets were lowered into the ground.  Tony just stared, watching intently but not saying anything.  Steve placed Ant down on the ground so the boy could hug his other father.  Steve soon followed, rubbing Tony’s back soothingly._

_"Is it alright if we stay a little bit longer?  I know the kids must be bored but--”_

_"Whatever you need, Tony.  Stephie’s asleep, Ant’s been pretty well behaved.  We’ll stay as long as you want us to.” Steve smiled softly to his husband.  His phone began to vibrate again.  “If it’s alright with you, I’m just gonna take this call.  Whoever it is has been calling me incessantly.”_

_Tony nodded as he fiddled with Ant’s hair._

_Steve walked away slightly, answering his phone.  “Hello?”_

_"Steve!  Thank god!  My water broke--”_

_“Karen?  Is--the baby’s--you’ve gotta be kidding me.”  Steve pinched the bridge of his nose.  “Okay, we’re gonna get there as soon as we can.  We’re at Tony’s parents’ funeral right now.  Are you at the hospital yet?”_

_“Not yet, but Matt’s on the phone with the doctor.  She’s gonna tell us when we should get there,” Karen responded._

_“Alright, call us when you’re on the way, and we’ll meet you at the hospital.”  Steve groaned.  “I’ve gotta go tell Tony, and figure out who’s gonna babysit.  We’ll see you soon, Karen.”_

_“See you soon,” Karen said, hanging up the phone._

_Steve jogged back over to Tony and the kids.  “Ton, that was Karen.  Her water broke.”_

_Tony sighed as he made eye contact with Steve.  “Um… alright.  Rhodey’s still here, he’s just talking to the flower guy for me.  He can watch the kids… usually I would’ve asked my folks but... “_

_“I know, Tony, I get it.  Look, she’s not even at the hospital yet so we don’t have to rush.  We can still hang out here for a little while,” Steve rationalized._

_Tony shook his head.  “I don’t want to stick around here anymore.  C’mon!  This is good news!  We’re having a baby!”_

_Steve nodded as Tony led them back to the car.  Sure enough, Rhodey was still in the parking lot.  Steve took the car seats out of the car for him, while Tony explained everything to his friend._

_Steve kissed both Ant and Steph goodbye before giving Rhodey Steph’s diaper bag, and overloading him with bedtime information and eating habits.  Rhodey mostly just nodded. which Steve assumed was mainly to appease him._

_Tony ushered Steve into the car after a few minutes before waving to the kids and Rhodey.  “We’ll call once the baby’s born.”_

_Once they got on the road Steve spoke up again.  “We could name her Maria, after your mom?”_

_Tony shrugged.  “Nah, I think it’ll be a better middle name.  I still think naming her Natalia after Natasha is the best move.  Nat’s done a lot for us.”_

_“So did your mother--”_

_“I know that but... the last thing that I want to do right now, is call our baby girl by my mother’s name. Okay?”_

_“Sorry.  I wasn’t thinking,” Steve responded looking out the window.  “Today must be pretty weird for you.”_

_Tony shrugged.  “It hasn’t completely sunk in yet.  But this baby couldn’t have worse timing.”_

_Steve laughed.  “No kidding.  But maybe it’s a good thing.  When I lost my ma, distractions were what helped me through it.  Maybe this baby will do the same for you.  I mean, that is one hell of a distraction.”_

_Tony nodded.  “Yeah, you’re probably right.”_

_They didn’t speak for the rest of the car ride._

_Natalia was born less than four hours after they arrived at the hospital.  She was healthy, but a little underweight, but the doctors said there was nothing to worry about._

_Once the baby was taken back to the nursery, Karen spoke up.  “I wanted to let you guys know that as much as I have loved being able to do this for you, I’m no longer going to be a surrogate mother.”  She looked to her boyfriend in the back.  “Matt and I are engaged, and his law firm is really kicking off.  We want to start a family of our own.  I hope you don’t mind.”_

_“Of course not,” Steve said honestly.  “We completely understand.  I’m so happy for the two of you.”_

_Tony nodded.  “You’ve already done so much for us, Karen.  If you or Matt, ever need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”_

_“Thank you, guys.  I really have loved being able to do this for you.” Karen smiled.  “It’ll just be nice to be carrying my own children for a change.”_

_"You don’t need to explain.” Steve grinned.  “Without you, we wouldn’t have our family.  Wait until you guys see Stephanie.  She’s like a mini you.”_

_“Well I won’t exactly be able to see her,” Matt chuckled as he fiddled with his walking stick. “I’ll just have to take your word for it.”_

_“My mistake,” Steve said apologetically, “I didn’t mean to offend--”_

_“You didn’t,” Matt said with a laugh, “It’s just some blind humor.”_

_Karen smiled softly.  “I’m sure it’ll be nice to see them. Weird… but nice nonetheless.”_

_“If it makes you uncomfortable we could find a sitter--” Tony began._

_“No, of course not!” Karen interjected.  “It’s just… peculiar, seeing kids that are not my kids but biologically are.  It’s different.”_

_Steve nodded.  “It must be weird.”_

_Tony yawned as he checked his watch.  “Shit, visiting hours are practically over.”  He stood up and stretched, Steve followed his lead.  “We’ll be back tomorrow.  See you then, Karen.  Let us know if you need anything.”_

_Steve turned to Matt.  “Do you need a ride home?”_

_"No, that’s not necessary.  My friend Foggy’s here.  He’s gonna take me home.”  Matt smiled, picking up his walking stick._

_Steve smiled back, forgetting the other man couldn’t see the gesture. “If you need a ride tomorrow, don’t hesitate to ask.”_

_"Thanks, I appreciate that,” Matt answered._

_Tony and Steve picked up the kids from Rhodey’s apartment and headed home.  Tony was oddly quiet on the car ride home.  Steve could only imagine it had to do with the mourning of his parents… and the birth of their youngest child.  It was impossible to know what Tony was feeling right now._

_The next day, they brought Ant and Stephanie down to meet their new baby sister.  Tony was leading them down the hall, with Ant right behind him, while Steve hung back watching as Stephanie tried to keep up as she waddled after her big brother._

_They entered the room.  Tony stealthily handed Karen the candy they had brought for her.  She giggled lightly.  “Thank you.”_

_“Please, after everything you’ve done for us, it’s the least we could do.” Tony shrugged it off._

_Steve grinned as Stephanie waddled over to the bed, smiling at Karen.  “Oh my god--is this Steph? She’s so big,”  Steve nodded as Karen looked over to him.  “Wow.  She really does look like me.”  She looked over to Ant before laughing.  “Him, not so much.  He got all his handsome looks from Tony.”_

_Steve nodded.  “You’re not kidding.  Ant’s just as smart as his dad too.”_

_Ant shrugged as Steve ruffled his hair.  “How are you feeling, Miss Karen?”_

_“I’m fine, sweetheart.  How’s school?” Karen answered as the nurse brought Natalia into the room._

_Ant didn’t respond, he just watched as they rolled the crib inside.  Tony peered into the crib, smiling down at the baby.  “Steve, this one’s got your blue eyes.  She’s gotta be yours.”_

_Steve shrugged.  “You could have the recessive gene.  I think it’s too early to tell.”_

_Ant tugged at Steve’s pants.  “Can I hold the baby?  She’s_ my _baby sister.”_

_“In a minute, little man,” Steve promised.  “Right now, it’s Daddy’s turn, and then I’m next.  But after that, you can sit down and hold her.”_

_Ant groaned.  “Why do I have to sit?  I’m not gonna drop her or anything…”_

_“I know, Ant, but it’s just to be safe.  She may be heavier than she looks,” Steve explained calmly as Tony passed the baby to him.  Tony wasn’t wrong she did look like him--or rather his mother.  It could just be his imagination though._

_Stephanie began to whine, “Pa!  Pa!”_

_Tony chuckled as he picked up the toddler.  “I think she’s jealous of her little sister.”_

_“I guess that was bound to happen.  Ant didn’t really get jealous when we brought Steph home…”_

_"Sure he did.  He threw tantrums and wanted to monopolize all your time,” Tony reminded him.  “She’ll get used to it.”_

_Steve nodded, bringing his attention back to the yawning baby in his arms.  Ant cleared his throat.  Steve looked up to see his son sitting in the chair, with his arms crossed.  His legs didn’t quite touch the floor yet so he was swinging them impatiently._

_“Is it my turn yet?”_

_Steve laughed.  “Alright, but first we have to show you how to hold her.  You have to support her neck and head because she’s too little to do it herself.”  Steve demonstrated for the little boy who nodded dutifully._

_Steve placed Natalia in Ant’s arms.  Ant looked at her for a few moments and she began to fuss.  “She hates me.”_

_“No, she doesn’t,” Steve said patiently.  “She’s just too little to understand that you’re her big brother.  She thinks you’re a stranger.  She has to get used to you.  That’s all.”_

_Ant shrugged.  “I don’t want to hold her anymore.  She’s too loud.”_

_Tony laughed as Steve took Natalia back._

_“You’ll get used to it, little man.” Steve rocked the baby soothingly.  “Trust me.”_

_“Whatever.  Can we go home soon?” Ant asked impatiently._

_Steve shook his head.  “Not for a little while.  Plus, tomorrow we’re taking the baby home--”_

_Stephanie was crying and Tony immediately placed the little girl down on the floor.  “Trade?”_

_Steve rolled his eyes as he handed the baby over to Tony and he picked Stephanie up.  “What’s wrong, princess?  You don’t like sharing daddy and papa?”_

_She nodded, teary eyed.  “Mine!”_

_Steve shook his head.  “Sorry, baby.  Your sister is here to stay.  But your Daddy and I still love you no matter what.”_

_She pouted and pointed to her big brother, “And An?”_

_“_ Ant _will love you just as much too,” Steve reassured the two year old.  “I promise.”_

_She sniffled as Steve put her down, and she threw herself into her brother’s lap.  Ant made a pained noise, but didn’t move her.  He just rolled his eyes as the little girl tired to climb up on the chair to sit with him._

_Karen smiled fondly.  “You’ve really given them a great home.  They seem so… happy.”_

_“We can’t take all the credit.  They’re pretty great kids,” Steve said proudly.  “They must have gotten that from you.  Lord knows Tony and I always end up getting ourselves into trouble.”_

_Karen blushed.  “Oh, I don’t know about that.  I used to get myself into plenty of trouble.  They got so big…” She paused as he looked at Ant and Steph.  “I still picture them as babies…_ my _babies.  It’s like an out of body experience.”_

_Tony nodded.  “Please, time flies.  We saw them grow up and it doesn’t feel real.  Soon we’ll be saying that about this little one.”  He motioned to Natalia who was now sleeping in his arms._

_“Pa!  Nap!” Stephanie yawned._

_Steve looked at the clock.  It was actually time for Stephanie’s nap.  That kid was like clockwork.  “Tony, we should head home for a little while.  The older kids are gonna get bored after a while.  Plus, Stephie’s right.  It’s nap time.”_

_Tony nodded as he placed the baby into her crib.  “Fair point.  Let’s go home and get in a few hours of sleep.  Lord knows this kid is gonna have us up all hours of the night once we bring her home.”_

_Steve nodded.  “You’ve got a point there.”_

_Stephanie walked over to him and put her arms out.  “Up.”_

_Steve smiled as he picked the little girl up.  “Say goodbye to Miss Karen!”_

_“Bye Miss Karen,” Tony, Ant, and Stephanie said in unison. Well Steph’s sounded more like “Bye Mz. Kazyy,” which was as close as they were gonna get that day._

_“I can’t wait until we can just bring her home,” Steve said idly.  “I hate having to drive here and back when we want to see our baby.”_

_“She’ll be home soon enough.  Until then we can manage.” Tony responded._

_“I know--still.  With two other little ones, it makes it hard to get over there.” Steve complained._

_Tony shook his head at him.  “She’ll be home tomorrow.  Hopefully.  Worst comes to worst, we can ask Clint and Nat to sit for a few hours.”_

_“You’re right,” Steve relented.  “How are you feeling?  I mean with… everything.”_

_Tony shrugged.  “I’m just trying to keep busy, like you said.  It helps when I’m not thinking about it all the time.  Maybe I’ll bring Ant and Steph into the office this week.  I’m sure they’d like to play around in the workshop.”_

_“Whatever you want.  I’d certainly appreciate it.  I mean, a new baby and two older kids all under the age of five.  It’s gonna be an adventure, Ton.  I’m not gonna turn away a suggestion like that,” Steve said honestly._

_Tony nodded as he kissed Steve’s cheek.  “Of course.  It’s fun, they get to play around the workshop, and I get to show them off.”_

_The next week consisted of bringing the baby home, receiving several flowers and food from family members that Steve hadn’t even met before, Tony bringing the kids into the office and bringing them home with one hundred and two fevers. Yet it was almost perfect.  It was perfect because it was the ‘normalcy’ that Steve had been craving for years.  It was perfectly imperfect._

_Four  years later._

_Their anniversary was approaching, so Tony had taken the day off, and arranged for Clint and Natasha to babysit the girls while Ant was at school.  This way they could spend some much needed alone time.  Between Natalia’s fourth birthday, Steve’s bakery being built by Sam, and Ant’s science fair, it wasn’t looking like a free weekend was in their near future._

_The two were out to lunch, they were just browsing through the menu when Tony’s phone began to ring.  Tony casually looked at the phone before ignoring the call and turning back to the menu.  Steve didn’t think anything of it, so he continued to idly examine the menu, skimming through the pages despite the fact that he was probably just going to get a salad or something small.  Then Steve’s phone began to ring.  Steve took the phone out of his pocket.  It was Pepper._

_He answered the phone, and Tony shot him a disapproving look.  “Hey, Pepper.  What’s up?”_

_“Hi, Steve.  I’m sorry to bother you, but I received a call from Anthony’s school principal, requesting both your and Tony’s presence in her office at your earliest convenience.  I couldn’t get much more out of her than that, so I’m not sure what it’s regarding--” She began._

_Steve sighed.  “Say no more, we’ll be right down there.  Thanks, Pepper.”_

_He hung up the phone, as he stood up.  “We’re gonna have to take a raincheck on lunch.  Ant’s in the principal’s office.  We need to get over there.”_

_Tony groaned as he took Steve’s lead and stood up.  “All right, all right.  Let’s get out of here.  Maybe they finally took care of that bullying situation.  There’s this kid that’s been giving Junior such a hard time.”_

_They arrived at the school and entered the principal’s office.  Tony waltzed in and took a seat, uninterestedly.  Steve sat in between him and Ant, and looked to the principal expectant.  “Is everything all right?”_

_The principal gave a long sigh.  “Unfortunately, no, Mr. Rogers.  There was an… incident with Anthony and another child--”_

_“Was it the little bastar--” Tony began before catching Steve’s disapproving eye.  Tony cleared his throat.  “The little_ troublemaker _that has been giving our son a difficult time for the past few months?”_

_The principal nodded.  “Yes, however that child had to be hospitalized--”_

_“Hospitalized?!” It was Steve’s turn to jump in.  “Ant’s not violent.  There must be some sort of mistake.”_

_The principal’s mouth thinned before she picked something small up off of her desk, that looked like a tube of lipstick.  “Apparently he had this… miniature taser on his person, that he used against the other child.”_

_Steve looked to Ant who was staring guiltily at his shoes, and then he turned to Tony.  His husband’s face went pale._

_The principal continued. She pointed to the base of the tube.  “As you can see, it clearly says ‘Stark Industries’.   I’m not sure why you would send your son into school with a taser but--”_

_“Maybe since he was being bullied to the extent that he didn’t want to go to school!  Something that you people didn’t do anything to correct!” Tony roared.  “My husband and I have been calling every single day, trying to get this resolved.  My kid has been coming home with bruises, fat lips, and bloody noses and you didn’t do anything!  He needed to be able to defend himself!”_

_“Tony!” Steve exclaimed.  “You did_ not _send our eight year old to school with a taser!  You better_ not _have sent our son to school with a taser!”_

_“Steve, he had to defend himself--”_

_“Then we could have taught him some self defense techniques, or enrolled him in martial arts!  But you decided to send our child to school with a concealed weapon!  Why on earth did you think that was a good idea?” Steve yelled back at Tony._

_Tony groaned angrily.  “Steve!  He was a mess!  Our kid was worried sick, he was afraid to go to school!  This was a quick fix!”  He glared back at the principal.  “If the school had just done their job, then it wouldn’t have been necessary!”_

_Steve’s eyes widened.  “Tony, stop talking!  Stop trying to defend this!”  He turned back to the principal.  “Is the other child okay?”_

_“He is expected to be fine,” The principal said, “but obviously, since he needed to be hospitalized, there needs to be some sort of disciplinary action here--”_

_“Are you kidding me,” Tony fought back. “Our kid is the victim here--”_

_“Tony, please wait outside,” Steve said calmly.  “Let me handle this.  You need to calm down.”_

_Tony scoffed.  “Oh, believe me, I’m plenty calm.”_

_“Tony, please.” Steve sighed in defeat.  “Just let me handle this, if I need you, I’ll ask you to come back in.  But yelling and screaming is only going to make things worse for Anthony.”_

_“Fine,” Tony said curtly.  He stood up and stormed out of the office._

_Steve rolled his eyes as he looked back to the principal.  “Look, obviously, Ant needs to be suspended, and clearly we’ll be willing to pay for the other child’s medical expenses--”_

_“Suspension? We’re talking about possible expulsion here--”_

_Steve laughed cynically.  “Look.  I get it.  You’re trying to make a point that you’re not going to give Ant special treatment because of who his parents are.  But do keep in mind that if you expel our son, you will be bringing on lawsuits and media-storm.  Believe me, what my son did was wrong.  But you and your school are responsible for the situation escalating to the point that my husband felt it necessary to send our son to school with a taser.  I don’t think the school district is equipped to counter the type of legal fees to have a fighting chance against our lawyers.  So please, suspend him all you want.  But I think that_ expelling _him, will be a huge mistake.”_

_The principal pursed her lips.  “Two weeks suspension… in school. And your husband can’t be on the school grounds for the rest of the year.”_

_Steve nodded.  “That sounds fair.  Also feel free to send us the medical bills for the other child.”  Steve looked down at his son.  “Ant, we’re taking you home.  You are grounded for at least two months.”_

_Ant nodded as he hopped down out of the chair with his head still down.  Steve followed him out into the lobby.  He made eye contact with Tony and if looks could kill, Steve would be a widower he was so angry with Tony._

_“He’s got two week suspension, and you’re not allowed here for the rest of the year,” Steve said as they walked out of the school._

_Tony frowned.  “What about his science fair--”_

_“He won’t be participating,” Steve said shortly._

_Tony rolled his eyes but didn’t respond._

_“Papa, I’m really sorry.  I didn’t know that it would hurt him that bad.  Honest,” Ant said in a small voice._

_Steve shook his head.  “I don’t wanna hear it right now, Anthony.   We’ll talk about it later, but now is not the time.”_

_Ant nodded, and didn’t say a word.  He just got in the car and buckled his seatbelt._

* * *

 

_Two years later_

_Steve was picking up the kids when he found out.  Well, he was picking up Ant and Steph. Natalia was in the elementary school, while the others were in the intermediate.  The bakery was in full swing and Tony’s company was still a worldwide monopoly, so the kids were enrolled in an after school care program._

_He walked in the door and said hello to the ladies who worked there.  Most of them were parents or retirees, and had obvious crushes on Steve that he tried his best to ignore.  One of the women walked right up to him.  “How are you doing, Steve?  I heard the little one is getting big.”_

_Steve gave a friendly smile.  “Yeah, she’s in first grade already.  I can hardly believe it.”  His phone buzzed, he looked down it was Natasha.  “I hate to answer the phone when I’m talking, but it’s Nat, and she may need me to pick up Rosie.”_

_The woman smiled, “No problem, Steve.  We’ll tell the kids to get ready.”_

_Steve nodded as he answered the phone.  “Hey, Nat.  What’s going on--”_

_“Steve have you seen the news?” Natasha asked fervently._

_“No, Nat what are you talking about?  I’m gonna pick the kids up do you want me to grab Rose?”_

_“Steve, let me pick up the kids.  They can sleep over.  I think you and Tony are gonna have a lot to discuss, and it’ll probably be best if the kids aren’t there,” Natasha said anxiously._

_“What are you talking about?” Steve asked._

_She sighed.  “I’m not sure if it’s true, and I really hope it’s not but, Steve, the media is covering gossip story.  It supposedly reveals that Tony had an affair with some woman.  It could be fake, but the media is taking it seriously.”_

_Steve felt as if the world around him was shattering, and breaking into a million pieces.  He couldn’t speak.  He couldn’t breathe.  He just heard Natasha’s voice echoing in his head over and over again.  ‘Tony had an affair.  Tony had an affair’.  He couldn’t take it.  He hung up the phone and went to walk out the door._

_“Steve,”  The woman called out.  “You need to sign the kids out, and I think the program director wanted to speak with you.”_

_“What?  Oh--umm, Natasha is gonna pick them up.  I have to go--there’s been an emergency at home.  Is the director… is it serious?”  Steve asked, amazed he was able to get the words out._

_The woman shook her head.  “No, Ant just got a bump on his head--”_

_Steve nodded.  “Take care.  I’m sorry to just leave like this but… it’s important.” He raced out the door and back into his car.  He felt like his world was ending.  He immediately called Tony--well he called Pepper since Tony’s line was off._

_After trying a few times, Pepper finally answered.  “Steve--Hi.  Look, Tony’s quite busy at the moment--”_

_“Pepper!  Don’t give me that!  Patch me through to Tony or I swear to god, I’ll drive down there and cause such a big scene it’s all the media will be talking about for days.” Steve spat._

_Pepper sighed.  “Hang on one second.”  He was patched through to Tony almost instantly._

_“Steve--”_

_“Is it true?”  There was a pause “Tony, is it true?”_

_Tony sighed.  “It--it’s complicated--”_

_“It’s a yes or no question, Tony.” Steve willed himself not to break down on the phone.  He wasn’t going to give Tony the satisfaction. “Did you sleep with her?”_

_“Yes.”_

_Steve sniffled, but managed to keep the tears at bay.  “Come home.  We’ll talk about it.  Nat’s taking the kids and… just come home.  I don’t wanna figure everything out over the phone.”_

_“Okay… I’ll head home soon.  I love--”_

_Steve hung up.  He couldn’t bear to hear the rest._

_Tony did come home that evening.  The ‘talk’ was mainly awkward silence.  Tony admitting to the affair.  Steve insisting that they could try to work past it but… Tony didn’t seem to want to fix things._

_“I just don’t understand,” Steve said quietly.  “We were talking about having another baby, and… I thought everything was fine.”_

_Tony shrugged.  “It’s complicated, Steve.  I--”_

_“Then uncomplicate it for me.  I just can’t wrap my head around this.  We’re married with three kids!  If you weren’t happy you could have talked to me--” Steve began, talking to himself more than to Tony._

_Tony just stared at him blankly.  “I really don’t know what to say, Steve.  I don’t know why I did it.”_

_It was Steve’s turn to pause.  Tony ‘_ didn’t know’ _why he cheated on Steve.  He ‘_ didn’t know _’ why he was currently putting Steve, and undoubtedly their children, through hell.  Every news and gossip media outlet in the country was stationed outside their house.  And all Tony could say was that he didn’t know.  Steve wasn’t sure how to respond to that, so he left that alone for the time being._

_“Look, I want us to try and work through this,” Steve said after a while.  “Don’t get me wrong, I’m pissed, and hurt, and a whole lot of other things, but we have a family together--a life together.  I don’t want to throw that away.”_

_Tony didn’t respond.  He didn’t say_ anything _the rest of the night.  He even slept in the guest bedroom without any prompting from Steve, and the big house never felt emptier._

_The next morning, Tony made himself scarce and Steve went to pick up the kids.  Nat warned Steve that the kids probably saw it online, and it was obvious that the older two had.  They were distant.  Natalia didn’t seem to notice anything._

_Steve tried to talk to Ant and Steph about it, but they didn’t want to hear anything they had to say.  They completely ignored Tony’s presence.  Natalia on the other hand walked right over to Tony and told him all about the fun time she had at her Aunt Natasha and Uncle Clint’s house._

_Tony left that night.  Steve didn’t know it then but they wouldn’t live under the same roof ever again._

_The next few days blended into the next few weeks which eventually became the next few months.  Most of it contained Steve trying to save their marriage despite Tony’s obvious lack of interest.  Steve would wait at the marriage counselor’s office on a weekly basis, and still Tony never showed.  Once Tony moved in with Sunset, Steve stopped bothering to schedule the appointments altogether._

_The kids switched whose house they stayed at on a weekly basis, since there wasn’t an official custody agreement in order yet.  It worked to an extent.  Some days, the older kids would sneak onto the bus to come to Steve’s house when they knew Tony was supposed to pick them up.  Natalia would cry most nights she was supposed to be with Tony.  Sometimes it got so bad that Steve had to pick her up in the middle of the night.  This meant if Ant and Steph were awake, they’d insist on going with Steve too._

_Despite the fact that Steve loved his children and was_ slightly _happy that they seemed to be taking his side of everything, he wished they would stay neutral.  They loved Tony, no matter how angry they were with him, and their relationship with their dad was important to them.  Steve didn’t want them to permanently damage that bond that the kids had held onto so fiercely before the scandal._

_Luckily, the media seemed to be winding down.  What used to be a swarm of paparazzi and news reporters, had become about five or six photographers hanging around the house.  They seemed to be leaving the kids’ schools alone now too.  For a while that had been an issue._

_For the most part, Steve just wanted to sign the divorce papers and be done with it.  Sure, Steve had wished there would be a way to reconcile with Tony, however his soon to be ex-husband had made it clear that wasn’t going to happen.  Now he just wanted it to be over with.  He didn’t want or need Tony’s money, and he was fine with sharing joint custody of the kids.  Steve knew how much Tony loved the kids and how much they loved him.  He had no intention of taking that away from him.  The only things Steve was worried about was the bakery, and the house._

_Tony had funded the bakery, but hopefully he would just let Steve have it,  after all Tony had no interest in baking, and it didn’t bring in the type of money most of Tony’s assets did.  Steve actually wouldn’t mind selling the house, it was just the matter of where he and the kids would live.  Steve really didn’t have time to go looking for a new house or apartment._

_Steve showed up to the mediation.  It had been roughly four months since Tony had left.  Steve was being represented by, Karen’s now husband, Matt, who had graciously offered to represent him.  Tony’s lawyer was a far more prestigious Jeri Hogarth, who had specialized in divorce for several years now.  Steve wasn’t too concerned though, he really wasn’t asking for much, and he imagined that Tony wanted this to be over and done with just as much as he did.  Steve couldn’t have been more wrong._

_Almost immediately Tony began demanding full custody of the kids.  He didn’t even want Steve to have weekends with them.  He even went as far as to indicate that Steve may still had some PTSD and that could have made him an unfit parent._

_Luckily the mediator didn’t seem to be buying that angle.  Tony, however, was persistent, claiming that Steve couldn’t handle or financially support three kids.  He even brought in Ant’s obvious parentage--claiming that Steve shouldn’t have any say in what happened to Anthony since he was Tony’s biological son.  He even wanted to have Stephanie’s paternity tested.  Tony was smart, and Steve knew it.  Steve could tell what he was doing.  Tony had to know that Steve would never approve of separating the kids.  If Tony could prove that two out of the three were his, and convince the mediator that Steve had no legal custody over them, Steve would at least insist that Natalia not be separated from her siblings.  It was cold, calculating and cruel._

_Matt was able to convince the mediator against the paternity test, and successfully argued that biological parentage made no difference.  Steve was legally just as much a parent as Tony given the paperwork they had to sign when the kids were born and ‘adopted’ from Karen._

_When Steve left the mediating room, he was stunned and angered.  That was certainly not how Steve had expected things to go.  The next dozen sessions went along the same lines.  Tony made some ridiculous claim and demand, and then Steve and Matt were forced to counter it.  It was nothing but frustration._

* * *

 

_Two Months Later_

**_*****_ ** _About two months after mediation had started, Steve received a phone call in his office at the bakery.  It was late and Steve really wasn’t expecting any calls.  He answered it hesitantly, expecting it to be some kid pranking him, or a telemarketer._

_“Hello?” Steve asked boredly._

_“Is this Captain Steven Grant Rogers?” The voice asked on the other end of the line._

_“Yeah, can I help you with something?  If this is about the divorce you’ll have to ask my lawyer--”_

_“I’m calling from the United Medical Hospital.  I’m calling because we have Stephanie here, and do not feel comfortable releasing her to Mr. Stark.  We would appreciate your presence--”  The voice began._

_Steve cut in. “What?  Steph’s in the hospital?  What happened?  Is she okay?  What’s going on?”_

_“She’s expected to be fine, Captain.  However, there are some details that we’d rather not discuss over the phone--”_

_“I’ll be right there.”  Steve hung up the phone and raced out of bakery._

_The drive to the hospital felt like an eternity.  He hit almost every red light, it was agony.  He needed to know what was wrong with his daughter.  Not knowing was killing him.  He had to make sure that Stephanie was okay._

_Steve finally made it to the hospital.  He ran down to the pediatric wing, he saw Ant and Natalia sitting in chairs in the lobby with Sunset and Tony.  When the kids saw Steve, they raced over to him._

_Ant buried his face in Steve’s shirt. He began to weep.  “Papa, we’ve been so scared.  No one’s telling us anything.”_

_Steve knelt down so that Ant was now sobbing into his left shoulder.  With his free arm, he tugged Natalia into his right side as she began to sniffle.  “Is Stephie gonna be okay, Papa?”_

_“I’m sure she’s gonna be fine,” Steve said more to himself that his children.  He saw Tony begin to make his way over to them._

_Steve stood up again. “Why don’t you two go sit down while I talk to your dad and find out what’s going on?”_

_Ant shook his head defiantly, but Natalia walked back to her seat.  “I’m not going anywhere, Pops.  This is_ his _fault.  He freaked her out, with all that stupid paternity test nonsense.”_

_Steve frowned in confusion.  “What are you talking about?”  He looked back to Tony, “What the hell is he talking about?”_

_Tony took a deep sigh.  “She’s gonna be fine, Steve--”_

_“What. The. Hell.  Is.  He. Talking. About?” Steve repeated angrily._

_"Apparently she hasn’t been eating--” Tony began._

_“Tell him why, Dad.” Ant spat bitterly._

_Steve looked down to his son.  “Go sit with your sister.”  This time Ant obeyed, but he still glared at Tony angrily.  Steve looked back to Tony.  “Why wasn’t she eating?”_

_Tony groaned.  “A few weeks ago, I mentioned to her that maybe we could get a paternity test done to see whose kid she was.  I guess I don’t have to explain why I wanted to have it done--”_

_“The mediator said that it wouldn’t make a difference!” Steve growled._

_“I know that.  Hogarth recommended it, just in case.”  Tony defended himself.  “Anyway, she didn’t want to do it so I dropped it.  But apparently it startled her.  I guess, she hasn’t been eating… or drinking… anything when she’s at my house.  I thought she wasn’t feeling well, but apparently it was because she was worried I was gonna test her DNA or something--”_

_Steve threw his arms up in the air, angrily.  “So you just let her not eat anything?  You think she’s not feeling well, but you don’t take her to the doctor!  You just let her continue not to eat?  What’s the matter with you?  Why did you think that was a good idea?”_

_"I didn’t know what to do--” Tony began._

_"Screw that, Tony.  You know that if your kid’s not feeling well, then you take her to the doctor!  It’s common sense!  Did you just hope that if you ignored it, it would go away?  Did you even notice that she wasn’t eating?”  Steve grunted, trying his best to keep his voice down._

_Tony looked down but didn’t answer him._

_Steve laughed cynically.  “You win.  You wanted a big custody battle?  Well you’ve got it.  I’m done playing nice!  If you think any judge or mediator in the country is gonna award you full custody after this, you’ve got another thing coming.  The hospital doesn’t even want to release her to you, that’s why I was called.”_

_Tony opened his mouth, but didn’t respond.  He was clearly shocked by Steve’s declaration._

_Steve walked past him and headed over to the nurses’ station.  A woman with dark hair walked over to him.  “Hi, Captain Rogers?”  Steve nodded.  “I’m Stephanie’s nurse, Claire.  I’d like to bring you up to speed on the situation.”_

_Steve shook her hand.  “Please do.”_

_“Stephanie was brought in about two hours ago.  She was feeling faint and dizzy.  When we asked what she thought was causing this her brother mentioned that she hadn’t eaten anything in the past few days.  Upon further prompting we also discovered that Stephanie has been neglecting some of her hygiene habits as well.  This includes showering and brushing her hair and teeth.  When we asked her why, she told us--and this is a direct quote-- that she was ‘afraid that Dad was going to take my DNA and use it to take me away’.  Obviously most of us are aware of the current divorce and I can only assume that a custody battle is a part of that.”_

_She sighed before continuing.  “Obviously, when a child mentions situations of neglect, we are obligated to notify the police.  They are here, but haven’t spoken to Stephanie. They wanted to wait until you arrived, which I have to agree is the right call.”_

_Steve nodded taking it all in.  “Okay.  Can I see her first?  I just want to make sure she’s okay.”_

_Claire’s expression softened.  “Of course.  Follow me.”  She led Steve into the room.  She wasn’t alone there was another woman in there too.  Steve had never met her before._

_“Captain Rogers, this is Patricia Walker.  She’s a guardian ad litem.  We had her temporarily placed here with Stephanie until you were able to get over here.” Claire explained._

_“Thank you,” Steve said as he shook Patricia’s hands._

_Stephanie smiled to him weakly.  Her arm was attached to an intravenous bag.  “Papa, you’re here.”_

_“Of course I’m here, Princess.” Steve smiled softly at the young girl.  She looked so much smaller in the hospital bed.  “How are you feeling?”_

_“Better,” she said and Steve believed her.  She seemed to be almost done with the intravenous bag of fluids.  If she had been there for almost two hours, then it was likely that she had finished a few others before he got there._

_Steve sighed.  “Listen there are some police officers outside who want to talk to you.  Just do your best, and tell them the truth.  I’ll be here the entire time.  I promise.”_

_She nodded.  “I don’t want Daddy to get in trouble.  It was my fault.”_

_“You’re just a kid Stephanie.  It’s not your fault.  Your dad should have realized something was wrong.  Don’t worry.  I’ll make sure that your dad doesn’t get in trouble,” Steve said honestly.  Sure he was furious with Tony, hell he was livid, but the kids needed him.  Steve would let the police take the report, but they probably wouldn’t press charges.  Not that they would stick with the top noche legal aid Tony would have._

_She nodded again.  “Okay, Papa.”_

_The officers came in and asked Stephanie a variety of questions.  She did her best to answer all of them.  There was a lot of repetition, but her story stayed the same, and as far as Steve could tell, she seemed to be telling the truth._

_At the end of the night Steve was able to take her home.  They signed her discharge papers, and Steve walked out to the lobby.  Tony and Sunset were still there with the Natalia and Ant.  Steve went over to them and he looked at the kids.  “C’mon.  I’m taking you home.”_

_The two kids stood up, as well as Tony who began to argue.  “Whoa, whoa, whoa.  They’re with me this week.  I--”_

_]“Don’t fight me on this, Tony.  The police are already here.  Whose side do you think they’re gonna take on this one?  Because I’m sure as hell, it’s not yours.”  He looked back to the kids.  “C’mon.  We’ve gotta go get Steph.”_

_He made eye contact with Tony before saying.  “I’ll see you in court.”_

_Steve walked into Steph’s room.  She had finished getting dressed and Claire had taken the IV out.  “You ready?”_

_She nodded.  “Is Dad mad at me?”_

_"Of course not,” Steve said.  “He’s just upset that this happened.”_

_"Okay.”  She got out of the bed, and walked over to Steve.  “I just wanna go home.”****_

* * *

 

_One Month Later_

_The divorce was finally settled.  Steve had full custody, and Tony got them every other weekend.  Steve probably could have insisted upon Tony’s visits being supervised, but he really didn’t want to damage the kids relationship with Tony any more than it already had been._

_Tony was engaged to Sunset.  The kids weren’t happy about it, but Steve found he didn’t even care much.  He was almost relieved that none of this was his problem anymore.  But, Steve was lonely.   Steve missed what they had.  He missed the wonderful evenings in France, and the honesty hours.  While he didn’t miss_ Tony _too much, he missed what they shared.  He didn’t think he’d ever have that again.  It was truly amazing how someone that had once given him so much love and hope, had caused him the most pain and anguish.  There really was no coming back from that._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back to Present Day :)

Present Day

A few hours after Steve had gone up to his bedroom, he made his way back down the steps into the living room.  Ant and Natalia were sitting on the couch in silence.  The TV was on but it didn’t look like either of them was paying much attention to it.  He glanced around the rest of the room.  Stephanie wasn’t anywhere in sight.

“Where’s Steph?” Steve asked quietly.

“I think she went upstairs,” Ant answered, refusing to make eye contact with his father.

Steve let it slide.  He turned to his daughter.  “Go get your sister.  We’re having a family meeting.”

Natalia nodded and raced up the steps. Ant switched off the television and gave a deep sigh.  Steve couldn’t read him.  He had no idea what was going on in the kid’s head.  He just kept his eyes on the floor, refusing to look in his father’s general direction.

After a few minutes, Natalia returned downstairs with a teary eyed Stephanie following behind her.  Steve sat down besides Ant, who immediately stood up and walked to the right side of the couch.  Steph took her brother’s seat and Natalia sat to Steve’s left.  

Steve sighed.  “Obviously, I owe you guys an explanation.”

“That’s putting it lightly.” Ant spat, still not looking at him.

Steve ignored the outburst and continued.  “I don’t expect you to understand, and I can’t imagine what this is putting you guys through. I just--”

“Why would you… date Dad, if you don’t want to get back together with him?” Natalia asked while he was in mid-sentence.  “Not that I want you to get back with him.  I just don’t understand.  From what I remember of when you two were together, you were so sad.  Why would you want to go through that again?”

Steve paused.  It was a loaded question--one he wasn’t even expecting from her.  Natalia was usually the typical kid.  The most he was expecting her to ask was when it all started.  

He cleared his throat.  “That’s not an easy question for me to answer.  It’s not--I don’t-- it’s complicated.”

Ant laughed bitterly.  “Come on! You ran right back into his arms after seeing him for the first time in five years--”

“It’s not as simple as it sounds,” Steve said patiently.  He looked back to Natalia.  “Your dad and I have a long history.  Some of the stuff that we went through did make me really upset.  I’m not going to pretend that those things didn’t happen but… there was a lot of good in there too.  Part of me was hoping we could have that again.  Also there were some… residual feelings there.”

Stephanie leaned against his shoulder before saying, “Do you still love him?”

Steve’s eyes widened a bit, not quite sure how to respond to that.  “Your dad and I have been through a lot together.  Part of me is always gonna care about him, and there was definitely still… something… between us, but no.  I’m not in love with him anymore.”  It was strange, and almost liberating, declaring that aloud.

“Then why would you sleep with him?” Stephanie asked.  “I don’t get it, why would you sleep with him if you didn’t want to get back together?”

Steve groaned.  “Listen, your dad and I have a past, and I was trying to hold onto that for just a little longer.  I realize now that we had our chance and it didn’t work out.  I should have just moved on a while ago.”

Ant released a long breath as he sat down on the floor by Steve’s feet.  “I just can’t wrap my head around this.  How could you think it was a good idea?  I mean, it’s Dad.  I love him but--he certainly didn’t do you many favors in the divorce.”

“That may be true, but he did a lot for me before then.  For a little bit your dad was all I had.  And you seem to be forgetting that it wasn’t all bad.  In fact everything was pretty great until the end.  It’s easy to get lost in remembering the good and ignoring the bad,” Steve admitted thoughtfully.

“Seriously though, after everything that happened with Stephie in the divorce.  I never imagined you’d have a nice thing to say about him again,” Ant spat.

Before Steve could get another word in Stephanie spoke up.  “That’s not fair, Ant!  What happened was my fault!  Not Dad’s--”

“Bullshit--”

“Watch the language, kid,” Steve cut in.  “Look.  What happened was an accident.  In his defense, he never imagined that the situation would have escalated the way that it did.  He was just trying to fight for you guys.  The last thing he wanted was for anyone to get hurt--”

“But she _did_ get hurt!  And everyone is so willing to forgive him! You’ve forgiven him for what happened to Steph, for what he did to you.  You forgave him for everything he put us through, and you expect us to forgive him too.  And you know what, for the most part, we _did_ .  But now you’re giving him the power to do it all over again!  I can only speak for myself here, but I just can’t go through that again!” Ant cried out.  “I _hated_ that everyone at school knew what was going on with my family.  I _hated_ seeing paparazzi at school and at home trying to get a quote from us.  I _hated_ not being able to cope because the entire world was watching.  I _hated_ not knowing whether or not Dad was coming home!  I _hated_ thinking that he was gonna take us away from _you_ forever!  I _hated_ waiting in the hospital lobby, not knowing what was going to happen to my sister!  I just can’t do that again! Don’t put us through that again, Pops!”

“Ant, none of that is happening again.  It’s over with your dad and I.  It has been for a while.  I don’t know why he’s acting the way he is, but we ended it.  Now it’s gonna stay this way,” Steve said soothingly.  “I promise, none of that is gonna happen again.”

“But are you sad again?” Natalia asked quietly.  “You seem a little sad.”

Steve shrugged.  “This afternoon didn’t go exactly as I hoped it would.”

“We’re sorry Bucky found out,” Steph said quietly.  “We didn’t realize he was there, and we were talking about it, and I guess he overheard.  When he asked us… well there wasn’t any point in lying.”

Ant shook his head.  “Sorry, Pops.  I liked that guy a hell of a lot more than I liked you with Dad.”

Steve sighed.  “I’ll try and talk to him later, but I think he needs his space right now.  If he can’t get past it then maybe he’s not as great as I thought.  It’s not like I cheated on him.  Your dad and I were over before Bucky and I got serious.”

“It’s his loss,” Natalia said matter of factly.  “Anyone would be lucky to be with you, Papa.  You’re pretty great.”

“Thanks, squirt,” Steve teased.  “I appreciate it.”

“So what now?” Stephanie asked.  “I mean you were pretty mad at Dad today, and I guess I just want to know what this means going forward.”

Steve rubbed his forehead.  “Look, I decided a very long time ago that I wasn’t going to stand in the way of you guys having a relationship with your dad.  I know that he’s important to you, and that he adores you guys.  Your dad would do anything for you.  That being said, what he did--lying about you being at camp--was uncalled for, and quite frankly illegal.  I’m gonna leave the ball in your court.  You kids are old enough to decide where you spend you days and nights.  If--after this week is up--you want to go to your dad’s, I won’t stop you.  But if you want to stay here, you know that you’re more than welcome.  I’m not gonna make you go over there anymore.  If you want to go over you can, but I’m not pushing the issue anymore.”

Ant nodded.  “Good, because I’m not going over there anymore.”

“That’s your choice.  You know that you’re more than welcome to stay here whenever you want,” Steve said honestly.

Natalia frowned.  “I don’t know what I want.  I kind of liked the schedule.”

Steve shrugged.  “Then you can keep to it if you want.  I’ll drive you over there whenever you like.”

Stephanie crossed her arms.  “What if we want to go over there more than we used to?”  

Steve had to admit it stung hearing his daughter say that.  He tried his best not to let it get to him but it was hard.  He would do anything for his kids--hell he’d already done a lot for them, it just hurt hearing Stephanie say that she’d rather be with Tony.

“Why would you want to go over there anymore than usual?  I mean it’s _Dad,”_ Ant said disdainfully.

“Dad’s all alone!” Stephanie shot back.  “Sunset and Robbie left, he’s in a bad place right now.  He’s gonna need us!”

There was his Stephanie, again thinking about anyone but herself in this situation.  She of all people would have any reason to be dramatic and throw a fit, but yet she was thinking about what _Tony_ was going through right now.  She never ceased to amaze Steve.

Ant rolled his eyes.  “Give me a break, Steph!  He messed everything up!  What about Pops?  Don’t you think he needs us?”

“Please!  If that was your concern you wouldn’t be going to school across the country!” Stephanie shrieked.

“Low blow, Steph!  You know I’m still weighing my options!” Ant roared.

She groaned.  “Yeah right!  You’ve been talking about Harvard nonstop!”

“It’s only the best school in the country, Steph!  I think I’m allowed to be enthusiastic about the fact that I’ve been accepted there!” Ant fought back.  “I wish everyone would stop throwing that in my face!”

“Knock it off you two!” Steve interjected.  “Stephanie, you can go see your dad whenever you want.  Either more or less often.  Ant, if you choose to go to Harvard it’s up to you, it makes no difference to me _or_ your sisters.”  Steve shot Stephanie a look.

Natalia nodded giving her older brother a hug.  “ _I_ would like you to be closer but… if you insist on leaving us then I’m sure Seph will just convert your closet into a second one for herself.”

Ant laughed.  “Yeah right, Tal.  I’m sure she--”

“Actually,” Stephanie said, crossing her arms, “that may be the best idea I’ve ever heard.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “I’m gonna order a pizza.  You guys do your best not to kill each other, while I go pick it up.”

The rest of the evening was one of the best he’d ever had with his kids.  They were laughing and joking, and it was reassuring that despite the way the day began, that they were able to relax and have a good time.

* * *

The next morning Steve woke up early.  He quickly made breakfast for the kids and showered.  He was going to see Bucky.  It was a bold move, especially since he was planning on talking to him at work, but it was the best plan he had.

He quickly poked his head into Ant’s room.  The boy was awake and watching something on his phone.  “Hey, kid.  I’m gonna head out for a little while, can you keep an eye on your sisters for me?”

“Where are you going?” Ant asked. “It’s barely 9 AM.”

“I’m going to see Sam.  He’s back in town and I told him we’d catch up.” It really wasn’t a total lie, Sam would be there and they did have some catching up to do.

“Are you guys going jogging?” Ant asked. “You used to do that all the time.”

Steve shrugged.  “I’ve got my running stuff in the car, so maybe.  If he wants to.  I don’t know.  I shouldn’t be long though.”

Ant nodded.  “Okay.  I’ll make breakfast--”

“Already done.  You just have to heat it up when you’re ready.” Steve smiled.  “I’ll see you later.”

Ant nodded.  “Tell Uncle Sam, I say hi.”

“Will do, kiddo.” Steve promised as he ran out the door.  

Steve made his way into the car and headed over to the architecture firm.  He took his time.  He really wasn’t in a rush.  He had no idea what Bucky would say or how he would react.

Steve arrived at the firm.  He made his way into the office.  When Steve entered, the first thing he saw was Sam looking over some blueprints and materials.  

Sam looked up and grinned.  “Hey, man.  What’s going on?”

Steve shrugged.  “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“How was Ant’s party?  Sorry I couldn’t make it, but Riley’s hometown was dedicating a street in his name, and his mom wanted me there.”

“No worries, it was too crowded anyway.  You should come over for dinner this week though.  The kids have been asking about you.” Steve suggested.

Sam nodded.  “I may have to take you up on that offer.  It’s only a matter of time before Ant heads off to school.”

Steve nodded back knowingly.  “Yeah it’s looking less and less likely that he’s gonna be going somewhere local.”

Sam shrugged.  “That can’t come as too much of a surprise though.  I mean he went to high school on the east coast, most of his friends are on the east coast.   It only makes sense that he’d want to go to school on the east coast.”

“He says he’s still thinking about it, but yeah I agree.  It sounds like he’s gonna pick Harvard,” Steve concurred.

Sam crossed his arms and let out a low whistle.  “That kid is too smart for his own good.  I bet you didn’t think you’d be sending your son to Harvard before he turned sixteen.”

“Definitely not.  If Tony had his way, we would have sent him off to high school earlier and he’d be graduating from college this year instead of high school.  I just didn’t think he was mature enough at the time.”

Sam laughed.  “You were probably right about that.  Plus the kid was not ready to separate from you two when he was young.”

“Yeah, I remember.  Dropping him off at kindergarten and preschool used to be a nightmare.” Steve laughed along with his friend.

Sam chuckled.  “I’ll get out of your hair for now.  I’m sure you didn’t come down here just to chat it up with me.  Bucky’s in his office.”

Steve gave a thankful nod.  “I’ll see you soon, Sam.”

Steve walked over to Bucky’s office.  He hesitated for a moment before giving a quick knock on the door.

“Come in,” he heard from the other end of the door.

Steve slowly opened it and walked inside to see Bucky who was looking over some contracts. Bucky looked up and his face fell.

“I was hoping we could talk?” Steve asked as he closed the door.  “I was going to call, but I didn’t think this was a conversation to have over the phone.”

“You’re probably right,” Bucky said with a sad smile.

“Bucky--”

“Steve--” They said in unison.

“You can go first,” Steve said politely.

Bucky shook his head.  “No, please.  You go ahead.”

Steve sighed.  “I just wanted you to know that things with Tony were over before you and I got serious.  Also… I would really like us to try and move past this.  I really like you, and you’ve made me the happiest I’ve been in a very long time.  I was hoping that even if we can’t work this out, then we could maybe try and be friends.  You’re important to me.”

Bucky took a deep breath.  “Look, Steve. I really _really_ like you, and usually this wouldn’t bother me. I mean we weren’t officially seeing each other and it makes sense that I wasn’t the only person you were seeing… but he was your _husband_ , Steve.  You guys have three kids together and… I don’t want to get in the way of that.”

Steve laughed.  “Believe me you’re not.  Tony and I have been over for a while, and trust me we’re not getting back together.  I have no intentions of going down that road again.  If I learned anything from this experience it’s that I can’t trust him.  I can’t be in a relationship with someone I don’t trust. Bucky, I want to make this work.”

“Look, let me think about everything.  I know that you’re saying you don’t want to get back with him, but if you change your mind it could kill me.  Like I said, I really don’t want to be the guy standing in the way of a family getting back together.”

Steve nodded.  “I understand.  I just want you to know that Tony and I are over.  I guess if you still want to continue this… relationship then I’ll see you at the build in a few days.  I promise, I won’t call you or text you or anything like that.”

Bucky exhaled.  “Thanks, I could use the time to think about everything.  I was considering asking Sam to finish up the work on your renovations but… I don’t know.”

“I would like it if you didn’t,” Steve said lightly.  “Even if it’s just as friends, I’d really like an excuse to see you.”

“I’ll think about it,” Bucky repeated himself.

Steve was about to leave when Bucky piped up again.  “Hey, Steve.  Even if this is it for us… take care of yourself.”

Steve gave Bucky a small smile.  “You too, Buck.”

Steve walked out the door to Bucky’s office and headed out the building.  While the talk with Bucky didn’t go exactly as he had hoped, Steve was glad with how it went.  If it was over it was over, but Steve had said his piece and the rest was up to Bucky.  If he didn’t want to be with Steve anymore it was his loss, and Steve, as much as he wanted to be with the other man, was okay with it.  He was at a good place in his life.  He wasn’t going to let a boyfriend or an ex determine his happiness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to update, I've been insanely busy lately!

Steve didn’t go straight home after seeing Bucky.  He just decided to drive around for a bit.  He had a lot to think about.  For the first time in a long, he was thinking about himself.  It was strange.  He hadn’t had a selfish thought since his ma got sick when he was sixteen.  Even after she passed, he devoted his time to serving and protecting the nation.  Then with Tony… it became about _them_ as a couple and emerging family.  Even in France, Steve’s main motivation was getting better for Tony’s sake.  It was bizarre to think about his actual happiness as an individual.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when his phone rang.  He answered using his bluetooth.  “Hello?”

“We’ve reached a dead-end on the dog, Steve,” Natasha’s voice responded through the speakers.

Steve sighed. He had completely forgotten about the hunt for Bucky’s dog, with everything that was going on.  “Oh--Uh--What happened?”

“As far as I can tell he sold the dog a few years ago.  I can dig deeper if you want but… taking the dog away from a third party may cause an issue,” Natasha answered.

“No--that’s okay.  I appreciate it, Nat,” Steve said idly.

“So are you gonna tell me what happened with Tony and Bucky or am I going to have to trust your thirteen year old daughter as my primary source of information,” Natasha snarked.

Steve should have known that Nat would have found out, it just wasn’t something that he really wanted to discuss at the moment.  “There’s not much to say, Nat.  I’m not seeing Tony anymore--I haven’t been for a while. And there’s a good chance I won’t be seeing Bucky anymore either.  I’m actually handling it okay.  I’ve got the kids for now, and I think I’m gonna get back into volunteering at the veteran’s hospital.  It’s not like I have to be at the bakery all the time, and the kids are old enough that I don’t need to spend all my free time at the house--”

“Sure, but I mean--Sharon’s still single, and how come you and Sam never had a thing--”

Steve laughed.  “I appreciate that, Nat.  I think being single for a little while and figuring out what _I_ want right now is the best bet for me.  I promise, when I’m ready to start dating, I will let you fix me up with whoever you want.”

“Promise?” She teased.

“I’ll talk to you later.  There’s something I’ve gotta do, right now.” Steve hung up the phone before Natasha could answer.

He made his way over to Tony’s house. Their romantic relationship may be over, but they were still co-parents. They had to talk about everything.

When he arrived in Tony’s driveway, he must have stayed in the car for about an hour before he finally struck up the courage to get out of the minivan and knock on the door.  He waited for Tony to answer, so they could get this conversation over with.

Finally the door opened and to his surprise, Pepper opened the door.  “Can I help you-- Steve?  What are you doing--Tony didn’t mention-- I’ll go get him--”

“It’s not a big deal,” Steve jumped in.  “I can come back if it’s not a good time.  It’s just about the kids and some argument we had the other day.”

She nodded.  “I’ll go get him.  He’s just in the workshop right now.  Do you want to come in?”

Steve shrugged as he stepped into the living room.  It was almost a completely different house, being inside without dozens and dozens of people surrounding him.  Steve thought his house was big and empty when he was on his own, but he was wrong.   _Tony_ ’s house was so enormous that when it was empty Steve could almost hear the hallways echoing with every creak the house made.  Maybe Steph was right.  Maybe Tony _did_ need the kids more than he realized.

After a few moments, Tony walked down the hall.  Pepper has said Tony was in the workshop but it looked like he had just rolled out of bed.  It was overly concerning.  When they were married, Tony never left the bedroom without primping himself to be ‘presentable’.   Steve couldn’t even serve breakfast before Tony was ready.  Seeing his ex-husband like this was unsettling.

“What are you doing here?  I take it you didn’t call the cops.” Tony sauntered over to him.

Steve crossed his arms.  “I couldn’t do that to our kids… and I figured you’ve been through enough this week.  I think we should talk… about everything.”

Tony nodded as he motioned to the door.  “How about a walk?”

Steve followed Tony outside and the two began strolling around Tony’s property.  It was so large that Steve was slightly worried that he’d get lost out there.

After a little while of just walking, Steve spoke up.  “I talked to the kids.  I answered their questions as best I could, but they’re probably gonna want to ask you some stuff too.”

“What did you tell them?” Tony asked.

“I just told them the truth.  I told them that it happened because we have a history and there were still feelings there, and that it’s over now,” Steve said honestly.

Tony sighed.  “What about Steph?  Which of us is--”

“I don’t know.  I didn’t ask, and she wasn’t offering the information up. If she wants to tell me she can.  It makes no difference,” Steve said dismissively.  “There’s something else, too.  I’m not enforcing the visitation schedule anymore.  Their older now, and if they want to abide by it they can, but I’m done managing your relationship with them.  If they want to come and see you then it’s on then, but if they don’t want to I’m not forcing them to.”

Tony crossed his arms.  “For someone who claims that you don’t want to ruin my relationship with our kids, you sure seem to be going out of your way to make sure that I don’t have a good one with them--”

“Are you kidding me?  Tony, you _kidnapped_ them!  You should be thanking me for not involving the police or lawyers!  Also this could work in your favor.  They could choose to be with you _more_ than the visitation scheduled allowed for--”

“ _Please_ , Steve.  Even you can’t believe that!  They see you as a saint, and me as the devil!  Why would they choose to come see me--”

“They love you, Tony!  But maybe it wouldn’t kill you to take more of an interest--”

“You’re essentially taking my kids away from me, without _actually_ taking my kids away!  That’s a new low, Steve!” Tony snapped.

“Give me a break!  Tony, this is a chance for you to _better_ your relationship with them!  Do you really want to see them because it’s _obligated_ , or would you rather know that they’re there because they love you, and want to be with you?  God, you’re unbelieveable!” Steve shook his head angrily.

Tony rolled his eyes as he sat down on some grass.  “There’s no way the boy is ever gonna see me again.”

Steve sighed, sitting down next to Tony.  “That’s not true.  Just try calling him more, and maybe referring to him as ‘Ant’ instead of ‘Junior’ could go a long way.  He loves you, he’s just… resentful.  Steph said she’d want to see you more than usual.  She’s worried about you.  I think Tal’s more confused about everything.  She said that she’d like to stick to the schedule but we’ll see.”

Tony frowned.  “It’s not as if I haven’t tried. Talking to them I mean. They just don’t find my… personality to be as _charming_ as you once found it.”

“I’m sorry, Tony.  Really.  I wish things had happened differently.  It was easy for them to blame you since everything was so public,” Steve confessed. “I didn’t want them taking sides, but-- well once they were able to understand who Sunset was and… marrying her didn’t exactly help.  I’m sorry about that too, by the way.  I can’t believe you have to go through it all again.”

Tony raised his eyebrows.  “Yeah, well I should have seen that coming.  I made the same mistake twice.  Ironically it was with the same two people but the roles were reversed.  I’m just concerned about the kid.  It’s not like I had any rights.”

“I’m sure Hogarth will find a way around that.  You would have won everything if it weren’t for the Steph thing,” Steve admitted.  “I’m sure you’ll be able to see Robbie.  I’m sorry you have to fight for everything again.  Maybe things will be easier.  I haven’t seen too much information about it in the tabloids.”

He shrugged.  “It’s only a matter of time.  I’m sure she’ll release a statement to the press and the media will eat it all up.  I can’t believe I messed it all up again.”

“I thought you said you ‘should have seen it coming’?” Steve repeated.

Tony snorted.  “I meant with you.  We had a real chance at it again, and I messed it up.”

Steve shook his head.  “It was a group effort.  I was only considering it because it was all familiar.  I kind of used the whole thing as an excuse to keep from moving on.  We both messed this one up.  The kids know that much this time around.  Plus, I played my part in everything the first time around too.  It takes two people to end a marriage.  Just call them,  Tony.  It may not be easy but they love you, they just need to see the effort.  In your defense, I don’t really know how much you actually call them, I haven’t exactly asked.”

“I call but… it couldn’t hurt to check in a little more.  Especially with Junior-- _Ant_.  He usually doesn’t take my calls, and when he does it never lasts more than a few minutes.” Tony looked down at his feet.  “I can’t seem to win with that one.”

“He used to idolize you, I think it hurt him a little more that it wasn’t just his dad who made a mistake but his-- _hero_ \-- for lack of a better word,” Steve said thoughtfully.

Tony sighed.  “Doesn’t matter.  Even when I go out of my way for that kid, he gives me a hard time.”

“I don’t know what to tell you, Tony.  I meant what I said before, I’m not forcing the issue with him but… call him.  Trust me, it’ll go a long way with that one.  He likes to see emotional efforts-- not just monetary ones.  He’s big with that.  Do something sentimental and it’ll make a big difference.” Steve grimaced.  “He loves you, Tony.  He’s just angry.”

Tony glanced at his watch.  “Crap, I’ve got to get ready.  Sunset and I are going to a mediator today.  I’ve gotta get cleaned up.  Thanks for the advice.  For the record, I’m glad we gave it another shot.  Now we know for sure.  There’s no version of this where we come out okay.”

Steve shrugged.  “We got three pretty great kids out of the deal.  Not to mention we really did have a lot of good times.  I wouldn’t trade them for the world.”

Tony gave him a small smile.  “Me neither.  If you ever need anything--”

“Yeah, you too,” Steve gave a sad smile in return.

“It’s really over this time, isn’t it?” Tony asked.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, it is.  Look, I’ll tell the kids to call you, but… I can’t make any promises.  I’m sure you’ll hear from Steph and Tal.  Ant’s tricky though.  Just keep trying.”

“Thanks, for coming over here.  Are you still seeing that guy?”

Steve laughed. “I don’t really know.  What about you?  What was Pepper doing over here?”  
Tony shook his head. “It’s not like that.  She was dragging my ass out of bed so I don’t miss mediation.”

Steve’s head tilted.  “Still.  You could do a lot worse than Pepper Potts.”

Tony laughed this time.  “I think I’m gonna try being on my own for a while.  The last time I was single was sixteen years ago.  It may do me some good.  I could focus on the kids a little more.”

“Maybe that’s not a bad idea.  It’s not as bad as it sounds,” Steve said honestly.  “Plus the kids will appreciate the fact that they’ll be able to just visit with _you_ and not you _and_ a _girlfriend_.  That was part of why they didn’t like Sunset too much.”

Tony scoffed.  “They didn’t like Sunset because they knew that _she_ was the reason that we were getting a divorce.”  
“I’m pretty sure that you had a little something to do with that too,” Steve said lightheartedly.  “I mean she didn’t get pregnant on her own.”

Tony nodded.  “I’m not sure that she didn’t plan it but… I definitely played my part in that situation.”

“Yeah, well, still.  I’m sorry you’re going through this again.  I wouldn’t wish that on anyone.  Do you remember that?  We went through hell,” Steve said trying to shake the memory from his mind.  “Don’t let me keep you.  I hope everything goes well for you.  You deserve a win.”

Tony laughed bitterly.  “No, I don’t.  I’m a serial adulterer, I don’t deserve crap.  Thanks for that though, I can’t remember the last time we spoke without arguing.  Even during the affair we argued nonstop.  I guess that should have been a sign.”

Steve shrugged.  “You’re a good dad, and you love Robbie.  I hope you two will be able to arrange some sort of visitation agreement, otherwise Robbie’s the one who’s gonna lose everything in this.”

“Is that why you _never_ pushed to have full custody.  You could have had it, you know.  After Stephanie’s hospital visit you could have insisted upon me _never_ seeing the kids, or that I had to have supervised visits, but you didn’t do that.  I appreciated that, you know,” Tony confessed.

“You’re their dad.  Your relationship with them is extremely valuable to them.  I wasn’t going to take that away from them, and I knew that the whole thing wasn’t your fault.  Stephanie made a mittake--and so did you, but I wasn’t going to take that out on the kids,” Steve said honestly.  “Look, I’m gonna head home.  Call the kids.  They’ll appreciate it more than they let on.”

“Thanks for the advice!” Tony called as Steve made his way back to his minivan.

* * *

 

Before he went home Steve decided to check in at the bakery.  He hadn’t been able to make if over there the day before, so he’d like to assess everything before he made his way home.  Steve pulled into the parking lot and sat in his car for a few moments.  A day ago he was confessing his love for his boyfriend--today he didn’t have one.

He went inside the building.  To his delight, the shop was busy.  Wanda was helping a slew of customers, while Pietro was brewing several coffee orders.  He was about to make his way into his office when he felt someone tap his shoulder.

Steve turned around to see Stephanie standing there.  “Hi, Pa.”

“What are you doing here?  I thought you were at home,” Steve asked in confusion.

“I’m here with Rosie, Uncle Clint brought us.  But since you’re here, I want to talk.” She waved an envelope in her hand. “About my results.”

Steve sighed in defeat.  He knew this was coming, but the contents of those results terrified him.  He wasn’t sure what they would say, and he wasn’t sure how Steph would react to either option.

“Let’s go in my office then.  Much more private and quiet,” Steve suggested.  He looked up and gave a wave to Rosie who was sitting at a table eating a cookie.

Steph nodded as she followed Steve into his office.  Steve took his usual seat behind his desk and motioned for Steph to sit in one of the spare chairs in front of it.  

She sat awkwardly in front of him.  She looked down at the envelope in her hand and refused to look up at Steve.

“So,” Steve broke the ice, “Did you read them yet… or--”

“No, not yet,” Stephanie confessed.  “I’ve thought about it, but no.  I haven’t opened them yet.  I’m--I’ve had a lot to think about since yesterday, and honestly I kind of forgot about them.”

Steve smiled softly.  “Honestly, I thought you would have opened them a while ago, but I get it.  Things have been crazy.”

She nodded.  “Ant said you went to see Uncle Sam this morning.  How is he?”

“He’s doing well. I invited him over for dinner sometime this week so we’ll be seeing him around,” Steve said with a shrug.  “But I don’t think that you want to talk about Uncle Sam right now.”

She sighed. “I’ve thought about this a lot and I think… I don’t--”  Stephanie paused, clearly searching for the right words.  “Are you absolutely sure that there is no chance of you and Dad getting back together?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, sweetie.  I’m sure.  In fact I just spoke to him, and we’re both okay with how things ended this time.”

“I’ve been thinking a lot, and what I realized that what I really want was for things to go back to the way they were.  We were happy, and things were good.  I understand that he hurt you and I’m sorry for that, but he’s our _dad_ , and we didn’t get to see him as much.  All I’ve been thinking is that no matter what this piece of paper says it’s not going to change anything.  Is it?” Stephanie’s eyes began to well.

Steve stood up and sat in the other chair beside his daughter.  “Sweetie, I know that the divorce was hard on you--on _all_ of you, but no.  No matter what that piece of paper says there is no chance of your dad and I getting back together.  These results are for you and for you alone.  If you open it and decide that you want to stay with--whoever your biological father is… I won’t stop you, but that piece of paper doesn’t change how either of us feel about you.”

She looked back at the envelope.  “I know that.  Which is why-- I don’t want to know yet.  I’ve played it over in my head over and over again, and neither answer is what I want.  All I’ll achieve is hurting one of you.  If it’s Dad, then you’ll be at least a little disappointed, and if it’s you then Dad will _definitely_ be disappointed.  I don’t want to hurt anyone, and besides I love you both equally.  It doesn’t matter what DNA says.  I’m lucky.  I have two parents who care about me,” she said with a firm nod.  “I’m not opening it.”

“Are you sure?” Steve asked, trying to hide his excitement.  “This is your decision, Steph.  If you want to know, I won’t stop you.  I understand if this is important to you.”

She shook her head.  Stephanie took the envelope in her hand and began tearing into small pieces. Then she stood up and placed it in the trash.  “Maybe one day--If I need a blood transfusion or an organ donation or just some medical issue, I’ll find out.  I’m just not ready yet.  I’m perfectly content thinking that I’m some medical miracle and that I’m _equally_ both of yours.”

Steve stood up, pulling his daughter into a hug.  “Oh, sweetheart.  No matter what that piece of paper said, you were _always_ going to be ‘equally ours’.  We both love you no matter what.  If that custody battle didn’t prove that, then I don’t know what will.”

Stephanie sniffled.  “I know, Pa, but I always thought that it meant something.  I thought that the reason Dad and Ant had such a connection when we were kids was because he knew that dad was his ‘sperm donor.’ And you always let Natalia get away with murder, and I thought that had something to do with the fact that she looked like your mom.  And I just wanted that.  I wanted that kind of connection.”

Steve shook his head. “Steph, your dad and Ant had a ‘connection’ because they were both always trying to ‘out-invent’ each other.  As far as me letting Natalia get away with everything, that’s just not true.  She was younger than you, so _yes_ I let her get away with some stuff, because you and Ant _knew_ _better_.  Not because she reminded me of my mother.  You and I have always had a connection.  When I’m going through a rough time, you always know what to do to make me feel better.  Which I never expected from _anyone_ , nevermind my kids.  And I know that you and your dad have a connection too.  Just because it’s different than what we have with your other siblings, doesn’t make it less important.”

She nodded.  “I guess.  But it doesn’t matter because all I could think about when I was going to open that envelope was that I wouldn’t be happy with either answer.  I almost wanted it to say that it was both of you, and that maybe that would bring you two back together.  I know it sounds stupid--”

“No, it’s not stupid.  You’re a kid, and the divorce was _really_ hard on you.  I mean for crying out loud, you ended up in the hospital.  I’m sorry that it’s still difficult for you, but your dad and I are over… _permanently_ this time.  That doesn’t mean that you can’t have a good relationship with both of us,” Steve said placing a kiss on the top of his daughter’s head.

“I know that, Pa, I do.  I just miss not having to switch houses every other weekend, and only seeing my dad twice a month,” She confessed.  “Don’t get me wrong, I love you.  I just miss Dad sometimes, and it _hurt_ seeing him raise someone else’s kid instead of his own.”

Steve nodded.  “Well now, you can see him whenever you want.  You’re old enough to make those decisions and if you want to see your dad more, I won’t stop you.”

“You won’t be mad?” She asked softly.

“Of course not,” Steve lied.  Of course he would miss having her around all the time, but his daughter needed this, and he wasn’t going to stand in the way.  “You deserve to have a chance to work everything out with your dad.  Quite frankly, I wish your brother had that sort of attitude.”

She shrugged.  “Ant’s always been super protective of you, and he felt that Dad was betraying all of us when the affair happened.  Which I mean he wasn’t really wrong about, but it hurt more since he and Dad were so close.”

“Yeah, but that was years ago.  I think Ant would be mature enough to put that aside now--”

“Pa, he literally ran away to boarding school to avoid his problems.  That’s exactly what he’s doing with college too.  Nothing about that is ‘mature’.  Ant may be smart, but he’s not mature,” Stephanie scoffed.

Steve laughed.  “That may be your sisterly bias speaking.  Regardless, you don’t have to worry about me standing in between you having a meaningful relationship with your dad.”

She smiled, hugging him again.  “Thanks, Papa.  I’m gonna go hang out with Rosie.  I’ll see you at home?”

Steve nodded.  “Have fun, sweetheart.  I’ll see you later.”

Stephanie raced out of his office, and back into the main bakery.

Before Steve headed home, he went into the kitchen just to make sure everything was running smoothly.  Luckily there wasn’t too much to do, but he did spend some time helping out baking pastries and bread.  However, after a little while, the rush began to die down and Steve was able to step out and head home.

* * *

 

When Steve finally did get home, he was greeted by Natalia who went on a huge rant about how she was super upset that she didn’t get to go to sleep away camp this year.

“Pa, you need to be in charge on the camps next year,” Tal groaned.

Steve laughed.  “Your dad is typically the one who pays for them, and insists upon you going so… no.  But I promise to follow up next year to ensure that you are actually enrolled.”

She rolled her eyes.  “Fine.  I guess.  It just stinks.”

“You got to go to a lot of great camps this year.  Plus you’ll be going to another one next week.  What is it horseback riding or something?” Steve pointed out.  “Your dad was just trying to spend more time with you, don’t give him too hard a time about it.”

She crossed her arms.  “Fine.  I guess you’re right.  Do you need help making dinner tonight?”

Steve cocked his head to the side, considering it.  “Nah, I think I’m gonna take you guys out tonight.  We don’t do that enough, and I could use the break.”

She beamed.  “That’s sounds like fun!  We could go to that place--”

“Calm down.  We’ll pick a place when your sister comes back home.  Where’s your brother?”

“He’s in his room,” Natalia said.

Steve nodded.  “I’m just gonna go check in, and tell him what the plan is.  Text your sister, tell her to be home by five.”

“Okay,” Natalia said in a bored tone.

Steve ignored her as he headed up the steps.  He walked to Ant’s door and knocked.

“Come in!” Ant called.

Steve entered the room.  It was slowly starting to clutter up again, but it still didn’t look too bad.  “Hey, kiddo.  I just wanted to let you know that we’re gonna go out tonight. I spoke to your dad today.”

Ant raised his eyebrows.  “Did you two just talk or… other stuff.”

“We just talked,” Steve said honestly.  “He said he’s probably gonna call you in the next couple of days… and he wants you to _answer_.  He wants to talk, and I think it’s a good idea.  I’m not gonna tell you what to do, but I don’t think anything but good can come from this.”

Ant shrugged.  “I guess I’ll talk to him.  I--um, Pops.  I need to tell you something.”  
Steve’s eyes widened.  “So long as you’re not telling me that I’m going to be a grandpa--”

“No!  Nothing like that,” Ant reassured him.

“Then I’m all ears,” Steve said, letting his arms fall to his side.

Ant took a deep breath.  “Pops, I just got off the phone with the admissions director at Harvard and… I agreed to attend there in August.”

Steve nodded.  “I’m not gonna pretend to be surprised, but I’m proud of you, kid.  But this means that you _have_ to call your dad.  I can’t afford to send you to Harvard on my own.  Besides, I know your dad had some contacts.  I’m sure they must have helped at least a little bit.”

“I was gonna call him anyway,” Ant admitted.  “I may be mad at him, but I know he thought Harvard was the right choice, and I think he’ll be happy.”

Steve smiled.  “I think that it’s a good idea.  I’m sure you two have a lot to discuss.”

“So you’re not upset?  That I’m going away?” Ant asked quietly.

Steve sighed.  “I’m not thrilled. I’d love for you to go somewhere closer, but we’ll make it work.  I’m proud of you, Ant.  If you think you’ll strive best at Harvard, then I won’t try to stop you.”

“Thanks, Pops.  I’ll try and visit more--”

“I doubt you’ll have the time,” Steve said honestly.  “I’m sure your sisters and I will make our way over there.  Plus I know that your dad won’t miss an opportunity to come and see you.  We’ll figure it out.”

Ant let out a breath.  “I’m glad you’re not too upset about this, Pops.”

Steve shrugged.  “I’ve got a smart kid.  I’ve got to get used to you leaving the nest.  I’m sure that when it comes to grad school, you’ll be considering foreign schools as well.   _That_ will be a much harder adjustment for me.”

Ant laughed.  “Well I’ll try not to do _that_ to you, Pops.  But we’ll have to wait and see I guess.”

“Well, we’ve got a few years before we can have that conversation.  Call your dad. He’ll be really happy to hear it,” Steve said as he stood up and headed back downstairs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long to update! This month was crazy!

The next week went by without a hitch.  Steve and the kids were getting along, and the renovations were going to begin within the next week.  So far, the kids had seemed to stick to the original custody schedule… except Steph.  

Steve didn’t mind that Stephanie was trying to divide her time between the two houses equally, but it was getting ridiculous.  There were days when she’d have Steve drop her off for lunch with Tony.  Then a few hours later, Tony would be dropping her off for supper, only for Steve to drop her back off again at Tony’s to spend the night.  It was getting tedious.

Steve was on his way back home after dropping Stephanie’s at Tony’s house.  It was the night before the renovations began.  The last thing that Steve needed was for her to call him in a few hours to pick her back up.  But Steve _had promised_.  Promised that no matter where the kids wanted to spend their time, he’d be accommodating.  He just didn’t realize what that meant in terms of Steph.

Steve arrived back at the house, and was not too surprised to see that Wanda was over again.  Much to his relief, Natalia was turning out to be the perfect nosy little sister and was currently sitting _in between_ Ant and Wanda on the couch.

“Hi, Wanda.  How are you?” Steve asked politely.  He was sure that the pair would be trying to spend as much time as possible together until it was time for Ant to go off to college.

“I’m well, Mr. Rogers.  How about yourself?” She replied with a smile.

Ant decided to answer for him.  “Probably annoyed since this is the third time he’s driven Steph over to my dad’s _today._ ”

“It’s only the second time, but it’s getting irritating,” Steve said, rolling his eyes. “Also, you guys have gotta call it an early night.  We’ve got the renovations tomorrow morning, so you’re gonna need to be up and about so they can actually see what they need to do to the _whole_ house.  Including, quite possibly, the bedrooms.”

Ant groaned.  “All right, all right.  Wanda’s parents will pick her up soon.  I promise.”

She smiled apologetically to Steve.  “I was going to leave early anyway.  You have me scheduled for the morning shift.”

Steve nodded.  “I forgot about that, honestly.  I’ve been so preoccupied with the renovations, that Dugan’s been handling a lot.  He’s been doing a great job.”

Wanda nodded back.  “Yes, Mr. Dugan, has certainly been doing an excellent job.  Although a lot of customers have been asking about you.”

“Tourists probably.  Trying to get a look at Tony Stark’s ex-husband.  You know, I’ve had reporters calling asking if I’d like to comment and Tony and Sunset’s divorce.  I still can’t believe that they’re asking _me_ about that.  As far as they know, I’m completely removed from the situation,” Steve said as he shook his head.

Ant shrugged.  “I guess they want to see if you wanted to get your ‘I told you so’s’ in.”

“Yeah well, I won’t be commenting on that.  I still feel pretty awful about the whole thing,” Steve confessed.

“Why? You weren’t the married one,” Ant said.

Steve gave his son a disapproving look.  “That didn’t stop you guys from being unnecessarily cruel to Sunset.”

“In my defense, I was ten and didn’t know any better.  But, she was never really… nice to us either.” Ant crossed his arms.  “I feel bad for Robbie, though.  This must be weird for him.  He’s five.”

“Natalia was around that age,” Steve said knowingly.

His daughter shrugged.  “I don’t know.  It was sad, not seeing Dad all the time, but I really didn’t understand the circumstances surrounding it.  Now, however--you can’t google Tony Stark without seeing the ‘divorce scandal’.  I find it more embarrassing than anything, really.”

Steve sighed.  “Well I’m gonna start baking some cookies for the workers.  If they’re gonna be around here for a while, I want them to feel welcome.”

“Or are you just trolling for guys with your baked goods?” Ant teased.

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Definitely not.  After what I’ve went through, I’m certainly not looking for anything right now.”

“Whatever you say, Pops.” Ant smirked.  

Steve rolled his eyes as he headed into the kitchen.  He decided to make some simple sugar cookies.  It was easy and most people enjoyed them so he figured it’d be a easy pleaser.  Steve wasn’t sure how many workers would be coming the next day so he decided to make a few more batches than usual.  Anything extra would certainly be eaten by his children, and if not he could send them to the camp with the girls.

Before he was done with his first batch, Wanda’s mother arrived to pick her up.  After she was gone, Natalia came into the kitchen to help Steve with the cookies.

“I see you were hanging out with Ant and Wanda,” Steve stated matter of factly.

Natalia shrugged.  “Wanda’s nice.  I like her.  Plus, Ant’s a lot nicer when she’s around too.  I don’t think he wants her to know that he’s mean to his little sisters.”

“It’s not _you_ he’s usually mean to,” Steve pointed out.  “He usually gives Stephanie a harder time.  You’re the baby.  He typically spoils you.”

She helped him roll out the dough.  “Yeah, but he doesn’t hang out with me.  Especially since he’s been dating Wanda.  So it’s nice that he doesn’t make a big deal about when I take it upon myself to sit with them and stuff.”

“Fair enough,” Steve said, placing the cookies in the oven.  “Thanks for the help, squirt.”

“Do you need anything else?”  She asked.  “I like doing this stuff with you.  It reminds me of when I was little, and it was just you and me for a little while, before I was in kindergarten.  We would bake all the time.”

Steve smiled fondly, remembering how he used to get the step stool for her because she was far too little to reach the counter.  He remembered how she had to have her _own_ apron, because Stephanie would be livid if she came home to see Natalia using hers.  

“Yeah, I remember.  It was fun.  We should do this more often.  Before school starts at least,” Steve suggested. “But as of right now, I’ve just got to wait for these to finish up and just place the other cookies in the oven.  All the grunt work is done.  You _could_ help me with the dishes if you want.”

She grimaced in what Steve could only assume to be disgust.  “Do I have to?”

Steve laughed.  “Nah.  Most of this stuff is gonna end up in the dishwasher anyway so you’re good.”

“Is Steph coming home tonight?” Natalia asked as she sat on one of the stools near the island.

“I have no idea.” Steve shrugged.  “She’s always welcome, but your sister isn’t big on giving me a lot of notice as to what her plans are.  You could go over there a little more if you wanted to.”

Natalia raised her eyebrows.  “I love Dad, but he’s a terrible cook, and his house is all weird without Sunset and Robbie being there.  I think he should sell it and get a new ‘bachelor pad’ or something. Or just some place smaller.”

“That’s easier said than done, Tal.  Your dad probably doesn’t want to just up and move.  Plus that house is expensive.  He may have a hard time finding a seller,” Steve said patiently.

She made a face.  “Pa, he’s Tony Stark.  People would pay five times what the house is worth so they can say ‘I bought Tony Stark’s old house’.  He’d be able to sell it no problem.”

“Maybe, but still.  Enough’s changing.  I’m sure it’s nice for him to be able to go back home at the end of the night,” Steve said thoughtfully.

“I don’t know.  That house is so creepy without anyone there.  Though it works well for scaring Steph.”  She smiled devilishly.

Steve gave her a disapproving look.  “Tal,” he said warningly.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding.  Sheesh!” Natalia said, sticking her tongue out.

“Well you should head to bed soon.  The builders will be here early tomorrow, and I want you to be presentable when they get here.  I’m not sure how much of the house they’re going to need to see when they start,” Steve said, glancing over at the timer.

She groaned.  “All right.  I’ll go get ready for bed.  Is umm--the architect going to be there or do the builders just know what to do.”

Steve shrugged.  “I don’t know I’ve never done this before.  I’m sure either--the architect--or Sam will be here.”

“Won’t that be awkward seeing… you know who again, after everything?” Natalia asked, hopping down off the stool.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, I guess it might be.  But we’re adults, and we can separate our personal lives from our professional ones.”

“Still it’s weird,” Natalia sighed as she walked around and gave Steve a hug.  “I’ll see you in the morning, Pa.”

Steve cleaned up the dishes and put the cookies away.  He was overwhelmingly nervous for the next day.  There was a good chance that Bucky would be there, and he’d be lying if he said that he wasn’t disappointed by the fact that the relationship certainly appeared to be over.  While Steve was keeping a relatively good attitude about the whole thing, seeing Bucky would be uncomfortable at the least.

Steve did a little bit of cleaning and moving some things around.  He wanted this to be as easy as possible for the workers tomorrow.  He wanted everything to go off without a hitch.  The sooner this was over with, the better.  He finished up with vacuuming before he headed up to bed.

* * *

 

The next morning Steve woke up early, just to ensure that everything was ready.  He brewed some coffee and started making some breakfast for Natalia and Ant.  Steph hadn’t come home the night before, which was almost a relief.  It gave him one less child to worry about… for now.  It would be a matter of time before she had Tony dropping her back off for one of many times today.

Steve was anxious.  He had wanted this extension for so long, and now that it was finally happening it almost seemed too good to be true.  Steve woke up Ant and Natalia so they could eat and get ready before everyone came over.  Steve kept idly glancing at the clock.  He was ready for everything to begin.

“Is Uncle Sam gonna be here?” Ant asked groggily.  “Because if so--”

“ _If_ Sam shows up then, I’m _sure_ you will let him do his job without distracting him,” Steve said warningly.  “Truth be told, I’m not sure if he’s coming today.”  If Sam _did_ come that would likely mean that Bucky _wouldn’t_.  Steve wasn’t sure how he felt about either possible outcome.

Ant made a face.  “But, Pops, we haven’t seen him in a while--”

“And I’m sure when he has some free time, he will gladly catch up with you.  But for the purposes of right now, Uncle Sam will be here on a job,” Steve stressed.

Natalia shrugged.  “I’m sure if he’s here, _he’ll_ be the one to talk to _us_ anyway.  He’s probably got a ton of stories to tell us.  We haven’t seen him in a while.”

Steve couldn’t argue with that.  Sam was great with the kids, and he adored them just as much as they loved him.  There was little doubt that if Sam did show up today, that he’d spend a majority of the time talking to Ant and Natalia--and Steph if she showed up.  Steve was glad that kids had that relationship.  Aside from Nat and Clint, Sam was the closest thing he had to family.

“Yeah, I’m sure he’s dying to hear all about Harvard, Ant,” Steve pointed out.

“I’m sure he’ll have some funny stories about his trip.  He always complains about the pilots,” Natalia said with a chuckle.  “He always says he’d be better off just flying himself.”

Steve nodded knowingly.  But Sam was like Steve.  They could barely stand to be on a plane after the war--never mind fly one.  Sam had a much more light hearted attitude about it than Steve did.

“Just promise not to distract him too much,” Steve relented.

“Sure,” Ant said grinning.  Steve knew there was no hope that his kids would listen to him about this, but he appreciated that they were at least pretending to take his wishes into account.

“Go get ready.  They’re gonna be here soon, and I’d like you two to look presentable.” Steve ushered them out of the kitchen.

Ant and Natalia snickered as they hopped off the stools and up into their bedrooms.  Steve rolled his eyes as he washed their plates and cleaned up the rest of the dishes from the breakfast that he made, before he went up to get dressed and brush his teeth.

* * *

 

When Steve made his way back downstairs there were already several trucks in his driveway.  He felt his gut clench. This was it.  Bucky would either be here or he wouldn’t.  That would tell him all he really needed to know.

Steve walked over to the front door, he reached for the handle and… he paused.  His hand froze on the doorknob.  He wasn’t sure why, but for some reason it felt like opening that door could be the worst thing he could do.  At least if the door stayed shut he could make up something in his head.  Like ‘maybe Bucky’s here.  I wouldn’t know since I didn’t go outside’.  But even he had to admit that was weak. He took a deep breath as he opened the door.

Steve walked to the side of his lawn where there were a bunch of workers glancing over blueprints and unloading the trucks.  He made his way over to them, glancing around looking for either Sam or Bucky.

He continued to navigate his way through the crowd.  Finally he was able to get into a free patch of grass.  He glanced around and made eye contact with Sam.  He felt his heart sink a little bit.  So that was it.  He and Bucky were over.  They were done.

Sam grinned and walked over to him.  “Hey, man.  Ready to do this?”

Steve looked around one last time before nodding.  “Let’s do it.  I’ve got coffee and cookies in the house if you guys want.”

Sam laughed as he glanced around at the crew, their mouths practically watering at the mention of food.  “All right, I think that would be greatly appreciated.”

The workers began filing into the house as Steve and Sam trailed behind them.  “The kids are looking forward to seeing you,” Steve said as he placed his hands in his pockets.”

“Yeah?  I’ve got some stories to tell them.  You would not believe how incompetent my pilot was--”

“Hey, sorry I’m late.  I left something at the office,” A voice said from behind them.

They turned to see Bucky standing there, clutching his blueprints, and a messenger bag.  Steve’s heart must have skipped a beat.  He thought for sure that things were over with them.

They stood there in silence for a few moments just staring at each other.  

Sam cleared his throat.  “I’m gonna go inside to get some of those cookies and a cup of coffee.”

Neither of them responded.  They just stared at each other while Sam headed inside.

“Hey, how are--”

“I didn’t think you’d come--”

They spoke in unison, silencing each other again.  Finally Bucky cleared his throat.  “You first?”

“I didn’t think you were coming,” Steve confessed.

Bucky shrugged.  “I wasn’t sure if I was coming either.  But I--I’m sorry.  I--you’re a grown man.  If you don’t want to be with your ex-husband, you of all people can make that decision.  I just--It’s intimidating, hearing that the guy you’ve been seeing has been sleeping with his ex.”

Steve nodded.  “I get that.  I don’t know how I would have taken it.  And I’m sorry.  I should have told you once it was over and everything. I just didn’t know what to say, or how to say it. Plus I didn’t want the kids finding out, and honestly, I just felt really guilty about the whole thing.  I didn’t want to be the other… _person_ in a relationship.  And how would you look at me after that, someone who slept with another person’s husband.  I could barely even live with the guilt and--”

Bucky silenced him with a sweet, chaste kiss.  “You talk too much, dollface.”

Steve snorted as they pulled apart.  “I thought we talked about the petnames.”

Bucky shrugged.  “It just felt right.”

“Do you wanna come inside?  I made cookies, and there’s some coffee,” Steve suggested as Bucky began intertwining their fingers.

Bucky smirked. “I don’t know.  You got any snickerdoodles?”  
Steve shook his head.  “We could make some if you wanted.”

“Yeah?  It doesn’t require heating any oil does it?” Bucky teased as they walked through the door.

Steve laughed.  “Nope, not this time.”

They looked around to see Steve’s cookies almost completely gone, and Sam was already talking enthusiastically with Natalia and Ant.  Steve turned back to Bucky.  “If you want, I was gonna have Sam over for dinner tonight.  I’d like it if you came too.”

Bucky nodded.  “No way I’m missing out on your cooking, that’s for sure.”

“Tonight we can make snickerdoodles, too.  I’ll just have to run to the store, and get some stuff,”  Steve said thoughtfully.  He glanced around the house, suddenly he began to feel uneasy.  This wasn’t what he wanted at all.  No matter how much he changed the house, it would still be the home he shared with Tony.  Nothing about this would make it more _his_.

“Bucky, I changed my mind,” Steve said pulling him into the living room.  He could hardly believe what he was saying.  “I don’t want to do the renovations.”

Bucky’s jaw dropped.  “Steve are you sure about this?  We’re all here, it’s ready to go.”

“I don’t want this.  I want us to… take things slow, but maybe… in a few years… we could just sell this place and then maybe _you_ could design _our_ own brand new house,” Steve suggested, not daring to meet Bucky’s eyes.

“Are you serious?” Bucky asked.

Steve sighed before nodding.  “Yeah, I think I am.  Natalia said something last night.  She said people would pay a ton of money for Tony Stark’s old house.  Never mind the house where the scandal happened.  The money wouldn’t be an issue.  I want something _new_.”

Bucky took a deep breath.  “Okay.  The only thing is you’re probably still gonna have to pay for the supplies and stuff--”

“That’s fine.  This isn’t what I want,” Steve said confidently.

“Okay,” Bucky repeated himself, “I’ll go tell Sam.  If this isn’t what you want there’s no point in going through with this.”

Steve shook his head.  “I’ll tell him.  Just--don’t go anywhere, alright?”

Bucky laughed.  “Relax.  I’m here to stay.”

Steve walked over to Sam, who was in the middle of saying something very enthusiastically to Natalia, who was entranced in whatever story he was telling.  Ant was chuckling at almost every word Sam said.  Steve loved that Sam had this wonderful relationship with his children.  They were blessed with a wonderful support system.

“Sam, you got a sec?” Steve interrupted.

Sam nodded and turned back to the kids.  “I’ll be right back.”  He looked back to Steve as they walked away from Ant and Natalia.  “What’s up, man?”

“The build is a bust.  I think I’m just gonna sell this place in a few years, maybe even sooner,” Steve said apologetically.  “Obviously, I would pay for the materials and you guys coming out here and all that.  I just… I changed my mind.”

“Shit,”  Sam said surprised.  “Whatever man, it’s your call.  I just think that you should think about it.”

“You know, for the first time, I think I am.  This whole idea was dumb.  There was a reason we never got to it when Tony and I were married, and there’s a reason it took me five years after the divorce to get to it now.  I don’t really want this.  If I did, it would have been done years ago,” Steve admitted.  “I really appreciate everything you did, Sam, really.  I just don’t see a future for myself in this house.”

Sam chuckled.  “Hey, I get it, Cap.  There’s no point in doing this if you don’t want to.  I’ll tell the guys to pack everything up.  Is that dinner invitation still open?”  
Steve smiled. “Of course it is.  The kids would be livid if you didn’t come because I cancelled the build.  I’d never hear the end of it.”

Sam nodded.  “I’ll take care of it.”

“Thanks, Sam.  How much do I owe--”

“Don’t worry about it, I’m sure we’ll end up using it sooner or later.  And don’t even think about paying us for the half hour we just spent eating cookies.  We’ve got another job coming up soon.  I’m sure it’ll cover almost everything.  Besides, what are you gonna do with all these unused materials,” Sam said dismissively.

Steve frowned.  “Are you sure--”

“Yes, I’m sure.  What are you gonna do with these materials?  Look at them?” Sam teased.  “I may be able to return everything, we just got it.”

“Let me know if they won’t accept it, and I’ll spot it,” Steve said honestly.

Sam shook his head. “ _Sure_ , I’ll tell you, the second I sprout wings and fly is when I’ll accept your money for something you didn’t use.  Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to go give these guys the rest of the day off.”

Steve shook Sam’s hand.  “Thank you, Sam.  I really appreciate this.”

“Don’t worry about it.  This happens more than you’d think,” Sam said smiling as he made his way back into the kitchen to talk to the crew.

Steve made his way back over to Bucky who was now sitting with Ant and Natalia in the living room.  Steve could only imagine what they were talking about.  He cleared his throat and all three turned to look up at him.

“Look who we found, Pops,” Ant teased.  “I guess the architect _does_ traditionally come to these things.”

“Did you know Bucky likes dogs, Pa?” Natalia asked.  “If you two start living together does that mean that we’re gonna get a dog?”

Steve’s eyes widened.  “Slow down there, Tal.  Bucky and I just got together and--”

“And yes.  We would definitely get a dog.” Bucky smirked.

“Yes!” Natalia exclaimed.  She turned back to Steve.  “Pa, in case you have any doubt, I completely support this relationship.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Good to know, Tal.  All it takes is some bribery and you’re super supportive.”

She shrugged.  “It’s not a bad start.”

Ant chuckled.  “Seriously, Pops.  We’re happy for you, and we’re sorry for not being as… supportive before--”

“What is this ‘we’ business?   _I_ was _very_ supportive,” Natalia pointed out.  “You and Steph were the ones who weren’t ‘supportive’.”

They went on arguing a bit back and forth, but Steve didn’t pay them any attention.  He just sat besides Bucky who wrapped his prosthetic arm around his shoulders.  Steve would swear that he could stay in this position forever.  This was nice--no--it wasn’t just nice.  It was perfect.

The End.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Epilogue is all that's left :(. I'm feeling kind of emotional about this. Thank you all so much for taking the time to read this! I've absolutely loved writing this, and I'm so glad that so many of you have left positive feedback. It really means the world to me!
> 
> Talk to me about it on [tumblr?](http://canarysarrow.tumblr.com/ask)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this is it! Thank all of you for taking the time to read and provide feedback! This turned out to be much longer than I anticipated but I think it wrapped everything up nicely. I'd just like to thank my fabulous beta readers [Anne](http://melsmalone.tumblr.com) and [Nikki](http://nolitasfairytale.tumblr.com)  
> They were so unbelievably helpful!

Epilogue

_Three Months Later_

Steve awoke to his phone buzzing on his bedside table.  He instantly snatched it up, there was a text from Stephanie.  She was coming home… _now_.  Steve looked at the clock.  It was three AM.  There was no way that she had gotten into a fight with Tony this late, so he had no clue why she was coming back.  He wondered if they were bringing Natalia home too.

Steve groaned as he lightly shoved Bucky’s sleeping body beside him, curled under the blankets.  “Bucky. Buck! You’ve gotta go.”

Bucky moaned. “It’s not morning yet.  Go back to sleep.”

“The girls are on their way home.  You know I don’t like anyone staying the night when they’re here!” Steve insisted as he stood up and pulled the covers off his boyfriend. “You’ve got to get dressed and go.”

Bucky yawned. “I don’t understand. They know we’re dating, Steve. I’m sure they know that I spend the nights sometimes.”

“We’ve talked about this--”

“No.   _You’ve_ talked about this. I for one do not like hiding things from your kids.  I’m trying to get them to like me. Stephanie is not a fan,” Bucky said, attaching his prosthetic arm and dressing himself.

Steve frowned.  “I don’t think it’ll go over any better if she finds out that you’ve been spending the night when they’re not around.”

"You worry too much,” Bucky said as he rubbed his eyes.  “But I get it.  I’m going.”

Steve smiled appreciatively.  “You’re too good for me.  A lot of other people wouldn’t be so understanding.”

Bucky made a face.  “I’m not gonna pretend to understand, but for some reason this boundary is important to you.  I _respect_ that.  I don’t _understand_ it.”

“Well regardless, I appreciate your _respect_.” Steve kissed Bucky’s lips lightly.  “Maybe I’ll mention it to the girls, see how they feel about you spending the night every so often.”

Bucky shrugged.  “Well it would be nice if I didn’t have to sneak out when your kids are coming home.  But if you don’t feel comfortable with it, we can make this work. I really don’t mind… _except_ when you throw me out at three o’clock in the morning.”

Steve laughed as he led Bucky down the steps.  “I promise not to make a habit of it.”

Bucky scoffed.  “This isn’t exactly the first time, Steve.”

“I know and I’m sorry.  She probably needs medicine or something that she left here.  I’ll talk to the girls about their… packing skills.  I just don’t feel comfortable--”

“Having anyone spend the night,” Bucky finished the sentence for him.  “I know.  I’ll get out of here,” he said, opening the door, “before the girls get--”  He stopped, because on the other side of the door stood Natalia and Stephanie.  

“Girls! You’re here already,” Steve said nervously.

Stephanie raised her eyebrows.  “It’s three AM… what--”

“I’ve got to get going,” Bucky cut in.  “Thanks for finding my cellphone.”  He winked at Steve.  “Now I can send Sam a picture of those blueprints I’ve been working on all night.”

Steve paused for a moment, thinking.  “Yeah--Yes!  Of course!  You really should be thanking Steph, if she hadn’t texted me, I wouldn’t have been awake when you knocked on the door.”

Stephanie snorted.  “Nice save.  I had to come home because of--”

Natalia rolled her eyes, “You can explain to him in the morning.  I, for one, am _exhausted_.”

Steve nodded.  “I think we should _all_ be heading to bed,” he said closing the door before Bucky could leave.

Natalia raised an eyebrow.  “Is this supposed to surprise us?  You added another toothbrush weeks ago.  We kind of assumed it was Bucky’s.”

“What were you doing in my bathroom exactly?” Steve asked, crossing his arms.

“Steph still takes way too much time in our bathroom.  I need to get ready sometimes too.” She crossed her arms, and Steve saw Bucky shake his head.

“She’s _literally_ mirroring you.  She’s your mini-me, I swear,” Bucky muttered.

“Girls go to bed.  We can talk about this tomorrow if you want.” Steve grinned, taking Bucky’s hand in his.

The two sisters exchanged a look before heading up the steps and into their rooms.  

Steve turned to look back at Bucky.  “Well, the offer still stands. You can stay the night if you want to.”

Bucky smirked.  “Well I certainly don’t want to drive all the way back home at three in the morning.”

Steve kissed Bucky’s lips sweetly.  He was draping his arms around his boyfriend’s neck, as Bucky’s hands made their way to Steve’s hips deepening the kiss.  After a few moments, they pulled apart.

“C’mon,” Steve said, taking Bucky’s hand again.  “Let’s take this… _back_ upstairs.”

The pair eagerly made their way back up the steps and into Steve’s bedroom.  The moment the door closed behind them, Bucky’s lips attached to Steve’s.  Steve began tugging at Bucky’s hair pulling the slightly shorter man closer and closer.  Bucky swiftly took Steve’s too-tight shirt off, and lightly pushed him backwards on the bed.  

Steve tugged at Bucky’s shirt eagerly.  Bucky removed the shirt gracelessly as he tossed it on the floor next to Steve’s.  Bucky began giving special attention to Steve’s scars as he always did, tenderly kissing the burns.  There weren’t words to describe how amazing it felt--having someone treat his blemishes as something beautiful and worthy of love and attention.  Bucky’s lips finally made their way back to Steve’s, who melted into the mattress. His hands made their way back to Bucky’s scalp, pulling him even closer than he already was.

Bucky grinned into the kiss as he detached himself from Steve.  Bucky sat up to better position himself as he removed Steve’s sweatpants much too slowly for his liking.  Steve grew impatient, kicking his sweats off the rest of the way.

Bucky laughed.  “Patience is a virtue, you know.”

Steve sat up, meeting Bucky’s lips momentarily. “Well, in my defense, it is getting late, and I would like to at least have gotten started before sunrise.”

Bucky shrugged.  “Fair enough.”  He made quick work of his own pants, as Steve hastily shook off his own boxer-briefs.   Bucky chuckled, leaning in to kiss his boyfriend again before removing his own boxers.

The rest of the evening-- _morning_ was a blur.  Steve couldn’t remember much other than the incredible feeling of ecstasy lingering between the two of them into the next few hours.  It certainly wasn’t the first time they had slept together, but for some reason it meant more.  Perhaps it meant that since he was okay with Bucky spending the night, that Steve felt more comfortable in their relationship than he ever had prior to that night-- _morning_.  Maybe it was because after this there was no way to hide the nature of their relationship anymore.  Regardless of the reason, it was easily the best sex they had had… up to that point.

Later in the morning Steve awoke to the most soft and sweet kisses on his face.  Steve smiled as he opened his eyes to see his wonderful boyfriend leaning over him.  

“Morning,” Steve yawned.

Bucky grinned.  “Rise and shine.  It’s almost noon.”

Steve groaned.  “Well you _did_ keep me up very late.”

“I don’t seem to remember you complaining about it last night.” Bucky smirked as he hopped off the bed.

Steve followed his lead, quickly making himself decent before heading downstairs.  “Do you know if the girls are awake?”

Bucky shrugged.  “I only woke up a little while ago.  I haven’t heard anything, though.  If they’re up, then they’re pretty quiet.”

Steve nodded as he and Bucky headed down the steps.  Natalia was awake, sitting in the living room watching the television.  Stephanie was nowhere to be seen.

“Did you eat breakfast, Tal?” Steve asked as he led Bucky into the kitchen.

“Yup, like three hours ago,” Natalia said, shooting Steve a disapproving look.

Steve gave her his best ‘watch the attitude’ look before saying, “Is your sister up yet?”

Natalia gave an eye roll.  “I think so, but she’s been locked up in her room all morning.  She’s only left to use the bathroom a couple of times.”

“Why did you two decide to come home in the middle of the night?” Steve asked as he began making some coffee.

Natalia snorted as she glanced at Bucky.  Then she looked back to Steve before sighing.  “Let’s just say Stephanie was having some lady issues, and Dad didn’t have the right equipment.  He hasn’t had any of that stuff in the house since Sunset left.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “Great, she’ll be a delight.  I’m sure she had a fit when she found out that Tony didn’t have what she needed.”

“Oh yeah.  She had a meltdown.  I think leaving her in that room for today will be in everyone’s best interest.”  Natalia shook her head in clear annoyance before turning her head back to the television.

Bucky laughed as Steve began pacing around the kitchen.  “I’m gonna get going after breakfast.  I’ve got some blueprints to finish up.  Maybe I’ll take you and the girls out for dinner tonight?”

Steve stopped his pacing to look at Bucky.  “What--umm maybe.  I told Nat that I may head over there tonight--”

“Say no more,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his brown hair.  “I’ll just take you all out tomorrow night.”

Steve smiled.  “You don’t have to--”

“Yeah, I do.  If I’m going to be spending the night more often, I want the girls to know that I want a relationship with them too.  They’re just as much a part of this as we are.  It’s their house, and apparently I’m going to be welcome more and more,” Bucky said as he smiled weakly. “They’re important to you so they’re important to me.”

Steve nodded.  “Okay, yeah.  Dinner tomorrow sounds great.”

Bucky gave Steve a sweet, chaste kiss, before he began pouring the finished coffee.  

Natalia made a noise of disgust.  “Could you guys _please_ not.  This is a common living area.  There are some things that _I,_ your _eleven year old daughter,_ do not need to see.”

Steve snorted, as he made his way over to his daughter.  “Oh yeah?  Well let me tell you, Tal.  That is _nothing,_ I mean--”

“ _Pa! Please_ stop! You’re so gross,” she shrieked.

Bucky laughed.  “Come on, Stevie, there’s no need to traumatize her.”

Steve messed with her hair.  “You’re lucky I like you, squirt.  Watch the attitude next time.”

She stuck her tongue out at him.  “ _Fine_.”

Steve grinned as he made his way back into the kitchen.  “What do you want for breakfast, Buck?  Scones, waffles, pancakes, muffins?”

“I’m not picky.  Whatever you want, I’ll eat.” Bucky sipped his coffee.

Steve frowned.  “What do _you_ want?  You never let me just cook for you.  You’re always offering to take me and the kids out to eat, but you won’t let me make you something special for breakfast.”

“He likes omelettes!” Natalia called from the living room.  “Dugan said that was the only thing he’d order from the bakery.”

Steve raised his eyebrows. “And you know this because….”

“Don’t take this the wrong way,” She said turning to face them.  “Bucky’s awesome, and we love having him around, but we didn’t know that when you first introduced us.  When you mentioned he was a customer, we asked some of the employees at the bakery about him.  That’s it.  We wanted to make sure he wasn’t some creep who was rude to waitstaff.  What we found out is that he likes omelettes and is a generous tipper.”

Bucky laughed.  “Smart, doing your research.  I never would have thought of that.”

“Well.”  Steve clapped his hands.  “Omelettes it is.  Do you have a favorite type of omelette, or do I have to guess until I get to the right one?”

“Spinach is my favorite,” Bucky confessed with a small laugh.

“Perfect,” Steve said as he began rummaging through the refrigerator.

Bucky rolled his eyes as Steve began enthusiastically making omelettes.  “God, you _really_ like cooking.  Most people see it as a chore, but you _really, genuinely_ like it.”

Steve nodded.  “It’s fun.  Plus I would have had to cook anyway, Tony was awful at it, and you’re not exactly the best student either.”

“Hey, I get frustrated easily.  Besides you’re not exactly the most patient teacher.”  Bucky teased as he took a seat on the stool by the island.

Steve frowned, as he flipped the omelette.  “I guess that’s not _completely_ untrue.  In my defense, though, your frustration is usually what makes me impatient.”

“Yeah sure, blame the guy who has trouble using his prosthetic arm to make the ‘stirring’ motion.  Real fair,” Bucky joked as Steve served him the spinach omelette.

Steve laughed.  “Yeah that explains why you got upset with literally everything else too.  Eat up.  At least if you’re eating you won’t be talking.”

Bucky grinned as he began eating, Steve’s undoubtedly delicious meal.  Steve smirked as he began eating his own omelette, it had been a long time since he had actually eaten one of these, the kids weren’t big egg eaters.  It was better than Steve remembered, he wasn’t much of an omelette eater himself, but he had certainly missed having one every now and again.

Bucky seemed to be thoroughly enjoying his omelette, and finished it in record time.  He finished his coffee before he began washing his dishes in the sink.

“I’m gonna go get ready,” Bucky said as he kissed the top of Steve’s head affectionately.  He raced up the steps, Steve watched until his boyfriend was out of sight.  Steve sighed as he continued eating his breakfast, his mind happily drifting back to the events of the previous night.

* * *

 

_Three Months Later_

Steve was anxiously awaiting Ant’s return.  Tony had gone up to Massachusetts to help their son pack his stuff up for the winter break.  Since then Ant had been staying at Tony’s house, which was definitely an improvement.  Steve was happy that they were working on their relationship, but he had to admit he had wished Ant would have at least stopped by to see him.  Finally, Ant had called saying he wanted to spend a couple of nights at Steve’s place.

Steve was delighted, of course.  He had missed Ant terribly since the boy had been gone  four months, and Steve hadn’t had a chance to go visit this semester.  Ant wasn’t even able to find a flight to come home for Thanksgiving.  With the time difference and everything, he wouldn’t have made it there and back in time.  Ant had said that he didn’t mind and understood, but Steve wasn’t too convinced.

Steve was also nervous since a lot had changed since he had last seen his son.  Bucky had actually moved into the house about a month ago, and while the girls were supportive for the most part, he had no idea how Ant would handle it. Steve had mentioned it to his son, but he hadn’t seemed to have much of a reaction.  Steve guessed it would all be discussed when the boy finally came home.

Steve felt something bustle around near his legs.  He looked down and smiled. It was their golden retriever puppy, Private. Steve shook his head. The young pup was so clumsy.  He was trying to push his way past Steve, instead of going around him.

“Steph,” Steve called up the steps.  “Come feed Private.”

Stephanie groaned as she sluggishly made her way down the steps.  “Pa, it’s Tal’s turn.  I fed him yesterday.”

Steve shook his head.  “But, as I’m sure you’ll remember, Natalia fed him this morning.  So it’s your turn.”

She rolled her eyes as she went over to the cabinet and took out the puppy kibble.  The dog at Steve’s feet turned around and wiggled his tail in delight as he followed Steph over to his food dish.

“Where’s Bucky?” Stephanie asked.  “He’s usually home by now.”

Steve sighed.  “Sam said they may have to work a little late tonight.  Apparently one of their deadlines have been moved up.”

“Is Uncle Sam coming over for dinner?” Stephanie asked as she put the kibble away,

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, I invited him.  He said he’d come.  This may be better though.  We haven’t seen your brother in a while.  Maybe it’ll be nice if it’s just the five of us for a bit.”

“I don’t know.  Ant spent a lot of time at Dad’s place.  It’s weird.  What if he’s disowning us or something?” Natalia said as she walked down the steps.

Steve shook his head.  “It doesn’t work that way, Tal.  Besides he’s coming home tonight.  I’m sure his visit will be great.”

A few moments later there was a knock at the door.  Steve eagerly opened it.  He saw Ant standing there with some of his luggage.  Tony had the rest as he helped Ant bring everything into the house.  Steve took the suitcases from Tony with a friendly nod.

“Did he behave?” Steve asked his ex-husband.

Tony nodded.  “Yeah, we did okay.  Nothing I couldn’t handle.”

Steve gave Tony a knowing look.  Ant could certainly be difficult at times.  “What are you doing for the holidays?  You could always come here--”

“Nah, thanks for the invite.  I’ll probably be spending it with a couple of members of the staff who couldn’t get away for the holidays.  I appreciate the offer though,” Tony said with a tight smile.

Steve nodded.  “If you change your mind, the offer stands.”

“Thanks, Cap.  I appreciate it.” Tony waved before heading back out to his car.

Steve closed the door behind him, before almost instantly pulling his son into a hug.  “I missed you so much.  I made your favorite tonight!  How's school?  Is the food okay there?  I can try to send you back with leftovers and stuff if you need.”

Ant laughed.  “I missed you too, Pops.  The food is fine, not as good as yours but, nothing ever is.”  He put his hands in his pocket and began to look around.  “So… where’s Bucky?  I thought you said he _lived_ here now and-- is that a dog?”

“Yeah, we got him a few weeks ago,” Steve confessed as Ant began petting the excited puppy.  “His name’s Private.  Bucky and Sam got caught up at the office; they should be here soon though.  Sam said he’d call if things ran too late.”

“Uncle Sam’s coming?  Cool.  I can’t remember the last time I’ve seen him.  Do they have a big project that they’re working on or something?” Ant asked as he stood up.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah one of their clients moved up the deadline on them.  Now they’re scrambling to make it work.”

“That sucks,” Ant remarked.  “So how’s the bakery?  Wanda said things were going well.”

Steve sighed.  “Yeah, this has been our busy season.  We’ve got a lot of orders in, so we’ve been trying to get all of them together in time.  Are you still seeing Wanda?”

“Yeah, we’re trying to make the whole long distance thing work.  It’s been working for now, but who knows.  It sucks not seeing her all the time,” Ant confessed.

Steve shrugged.  “Well maybe you’ll see her a couple of times during the break.  Just don’t take anything too fast.  You’re only sixteen.”

Ant rolled his eyes.  “Relax, Pops.  We’re gonna keep everything rated PG.”

“Good,  I do not need to be a grandfather yet,” Steve said, only half teasing.

After about fifteen minutes of sitting around, laughing and catching up, Sam and Bucky walked into the house.  Steve’s eyes lit up as the two men met them in the living room.

“Hey!” Sam exclaimed loudly as he entered the room.  The kids all instantly raced over to him.  Sam eagerly hugged and greeted each of the kids.

Steve quietly made his way over to Bucky.  He gave him a quick kiss.  “Work was crazy?”

Bucky nodded.  “You have no idea.  When did Ant get here?”

“He’s been here for a little while.  You didn’t miss much,” Steve noted, as Bucky took his hand.

“Sorry I was late.  I know this dinner is important to you.”

Steve shrugged.  “It wasn’t your fault.  I hope the job worked out.”

“It’ll be done by the deadline.  Just don’t be surprised if I bring the blueprints home some nights.  There’s still a lot of work that we need to do.” Bucky frowned.

Steve nodded understandingly.  “Whatever you need.”

Ant finally made his way over to Steve and Bucky.  “Hey. My Pops says that you’re cohabitating now.  That’s um… new.  The--uhh-- the dog’s cute though.”

Bucky sighed.  “Yeah, I’ve been living here for a little while.   My lease was up, and your Pops offered to have me stay here.  And yeah, the dog’s pretty new, but he’s a good fit for us.”

“How’s the architecture thing going?” Ant asked awkwardly.

“It’s okay, we’re pretty busy right now, but that makes the day go pretty fast,” Bucky said nonchalantly.  “How has school been?”

“I like it.  It’s challenging but I like that.  It’s new,” Ant said, smiling.  “I did pretty well in all my classes, though.”

Steve beamed proudly.  “Of course you did.  You’re a genius.  I bet you’re smarter than all those other kids at Harvard.”

Ant smirked.  “Of course I am.  But we all knew that already.”

Natalia rolled her eyes.  “I see you still haven’t learned to be _modest_ yet.”

Ant put his arms out.  “What’s the point in being modest, when literally _everyone_ knows how amazing you are?”

“I was hoping that some of those geniuses would have knocked you down a peg or two,” Stephanie said, narrowing her eyes.  “Although, I will admit I am the teeniest bit proud that my big brother is kicking ass and taking names in one of the best colleges in the country.”

“That’s the closest thing that I’m gonna get to a compliment, so I’ll take it,” Ant teased.

Sam chuckled.  “College has not changed you, kid.  You’re still that bratty little know-it-all you’ve always been.”

Ant shrugged.  “What can I say? I _do_ put my money where my mouth is.  Everything I say has been backed up.  I’m just that great.”

“Poor Wanda,” Natalia remarked sadly.  “She probably has no idea that you’re madly in love with yourself.”

Ant rolled his eyes.  “And to think I was actually starting to miss you, Tal.”

“Be nice,” Steve said warningly to all three of his children.  “Dinner’s ready, let’s eat.”

They all made their way over to the dining room that was just over from the kitchen. Private eagerly followed in hopes of getting some scraps.  Steve smiled as he saw his family sit down at the table.  It was nice that they were all there. Dinners like this were few and far between.  It wasn’t likely that they would get to have a lot more of these dinners.  Ant’s life was in Massachusetts for the foreseeable future, and there was no telling where the girls would wind up going to school.  As much as Steve would love to insist upon his kids staying local, he knew that there was little chance that it would work.  With Tony’s financial support, their kids had all the opportunities in the world.  They wouldn’t have to worry about things like student loans, or even scholarships.  Steve wouldn’t dream of taking any of those opportunities away from them.

He took the food from the oven and served it.  The rest of the evening was filled with laughter and catching up.  Ant spoke about a lot of his time in school and success in classes.  Sam told a bunch of dramatized stories that the kids couldn’t get enough of.  Bucky and Steve mostly just listened.  Steve listened because he wanted to hear and learn about what was going on with his loved ones.  He couldn’t help but wonder if Bucky’s silence was a result of not feeling comfortable enough, or properly welcome.  Sure they’d been living together for a little while, but Steve wasn’t sure if the house felt at all like home to the other man.

After dinner, Sam and the kids watched a movie while Bucky and Steve cleaned up the dishes and scarce leftovers.  

“Dinner was delicious,” Bucky said, handing Steve another washed dish to dry.

Steve took the dish and began to dry it with the rag.  “I’m glad you liked it.  It’s Ant’s favorite. Always has been.  I’ve missed having him around.”

Bucky nodded as he began washing another dish.  “I know, you talk about it all the time.  I think it’s nice he’s home.  Did you find out why it took him so long to come over?”

Steve shook his head.  “I didn’t ask.  Besides it’s good that he and Tony are working on things.  They used to be really close.  Besides Ant’s always been… _distant_ from me.  I mean we get along and I love him, but there were always things that he loved and enthused about that I wasn’t really ever able to understand.  It was hard for him.  Even when he was little, all he wanted was to delve into science and… I couldn’t, and maybe wouldn’t, understand.  I was mad at Tony and that was his domain, I had never asked for him to teach me because Tony took care of all that.  Then with the divorce Ant was so angry with Tony, and he tried to talk and _theorize_ about all that stuff with me.  I didn’t take an interest and… a few months after the divorce was finalized Ant was going off to boarding school.”

Bucky shook his head.  “I think you’re being too hard on yourself.  Besides didn’t he spend practically the whole summer here?  From what I remember he was barely at Stark’s house.”

“Yeah, but I think that was mainly to get back at Tony.  The kids are hard on him, they have been since the divorce.” Steve idly dried the next dish that Bucky gave him.  “I worry that I messed up with Ant.  I could have taken advantage of a chance to learn more about his passions and… I blew it.”

“I still think you’re being too hard on yourself,” Bucky said, slightly nudging Steve with his shoulder.  “You did your best.  You were going through hell, running a business and raising three kids.  Exactly when did you have a chance to educate yourself on the sorts of science and mathematics that Ant would have been interested in?  You did your best and I think Ant knows that.  He loves you.  You’re a good father.”

Steve frowned as he placed the dish down.  “I don’t know.  With Ant I feel like I’ve dropped the ball.  I mean I didn’t even get a chance to visit him last semester.  How awful is that?  I’m sure Tony was there every other weekend.”

Bucky sighed.  “We could schedule a few trips out there for next semester.  Unless you don’t think that’s appropriate then you and the girls could go out there a couple of times.  Besides he knows that you and Tony are in two very different financial positions--”

“He’s a kid, Buck.  Sure he may understand that but that doesn’t mean he _understands_.  You know what I’m saying.  He was young, and he thought he was taking my side, and I wasn’t there for him--” Steve began.

“I’m not gonna fight that. I wasn’t here.  I don’t think that’s true but for the sake of argument let’s say it is.  Look at what you’ve done since then.  He knows you love him and he loves you.  He knows.  I’m sorry I brought it up,” Bucky said quietly.  “And I think you should talk to your son.  He’s a smart kid, if anyone can tell you what he’s feeling, it’s him.”

“He may be smart, but he’s immature.  Or well he’s got the maturity of the average sixteen year old boy--”

“And he loves you.  I think you should just talk to him if it’s bothering you.  I’m sorry, I didn’t realize it was eating at you this much,” Bucky said sincerely.

Steve shrugged.  “He’s been home for over a week, and he hasn’t even stopped by.  When he would come home from boarding school, he would practically race over here.  This is… not like him.  I can’t help but wonder why he didn’t want to come over here right away.  But he’s here now, and I’m glad that he’s here.”

Bucky shut off the sink and pecked Steve’s lips lightly.  “Like I said, you should talk to him.  He’s your son.  Besides, I’m sure you’ve got tons of catching up to do anyway.”

Steve smiled softly.  “You’re right.  I’ll talk to him.”  Steve kissed him back gently.  “Love you,” he mumbled as they made their way into the living room to watch the movie with the others.

When the movie ended Sam headed home and the girls went up to bed.  For a few moments, it was just Steve, Bucky and Ant sitting on the couch.  

After a little while, Bucky stood up.  “I’m gonna go work on some of those blueprints.”  He shook Ant’s hand.  “I’ll see you tomorrow.” He kissed Steve quickly before heading up the stairs.

“How’s your dad doing?” Steve asked once Bucky was out of sight.

Ant shrugged.  “I guess he’s doing as well as to be expected.  The divorce will be finalized in a few weeks, and Sunset’s being the same cold calculating bitch she was the first time around--”

“Don’t talk about her like that, things were complicated--”

“She’s giving him a really hard time, Pops--”

“And that’s exactly what _he_ did when we were going through it--”

“No, that was her--”

“No.  Even if it was her idea, which I don’t know if it was.  Your dad made his own decisions.  He’s a grown man.  He made his own choices.” Steve frowned.  “Look, I am glad that you’re in your dad’s corner this time around, but he played his part in this too.”

Ant sighed.  “I know.  I just feel bad.  He’s on his own, and it’s the holidays.  You know what they say about the suicide rate increasing this time of the year.”

“Is it that bad?” Steve asked in concern.  “Is he depressed?”

“I don’t know.  I just worry about him.  Pepper’s over all the time just making sure he’s taking care of himself.  I know you said Steph goes over there a lot but, yeah I’ve been worried,” Ant confessed, looking down at his feet.

Steve shook his head.  “Is that why you were there all last week?”

Ant groaned.  “I knew it was only a matter of time before you asked about that.  No.  I mean yeah a little.  Part of it was that.  I was also talking to him about what I should major in and stuff.  Also he invited Wanda over for dinner to get to know her and you know… Dad stuff I guess.”

Steve crossed his arms.  “So you’re telling me that you couldn’t have stopped by for dinner or to watch a movie or something?”

“Honestly?” Ant asked, looking to Steve.

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, that would be nice.”

His son exhaled. “I was worried it was gonna be weird, with _him_ living here.  Don’t get me wrong, he’s nice and I’m glad he makes you happy, but I still hardly even know the guy.  So when you guys mentioned that he was living here now, I guess it freaked me out a little bit. It’s like having a stranger in your house, and everyone acts like it’s normal but it’s not.  You haven’t even known him for a year yet, Pops.  Don’t you think this whole living arrangement is a little fast?”

"So this is about Bucky?” Steve asked in confusion.  

Ant shrugged.  “A little bit.”

“Ant… I,” Steve paused unsure what to say.  “You know that you and your sisters are the most important thing in the world to me, right?”

Ant nodded.  “Yeah, you tell us that all the time.”

“Do you honestly think that I would invite Bucky to come live here with all of us, if I didn’t trust him?  Do you think that I would provide him with keys to our home--keys to the place where the most important people in my life live-- if I didn’t trust him?” Steve asked, trying to put everything in perspective for his son.  “I’m not some idiot, Ant.  You don’t think that when things got serious, that I had Aunt Natasha and Uncle Clint do some looking into him?  If Bucky had so much as a traffic ticket, I knew about it.  I need you to trust me, Ant.  I would never put you or your sisters in harm’s way.  You know that.”

            Ant just looked at the ground again silently.

Steve sighed.  “Do me a favor?  If you’re so concerned then try to get to know him better.  It would mean a lot to me.  And if you still really, truly, feel uncomfortable then tell me.  You know I’ll always put you and your sisters’ safety and peace of mind before anything else.”

“Okay,” Ant said.  “Fine.  I’ll try to get to know him better.  I really _do_ want you to be happy, Pops.”

"Thank you,” Steve said appreciatively.  “It would mean a lot to me.”

“Of course, Pops.” Ant yawned.  “If it’s that important to you then I’ll try my best to get along with him.  I know Tal really likes him, and he’s grown on Steph… I just don’t know him that well I guess.”

Steve gave a small smile.  “That would mean the world to me.  I--I’m really happy, and I would like for him to be here for a while.  But like I said, you and your sisters are the most important thing.  I would never… be with someone who made you feel uncomfortable--”

"I’m not asking you to dump him or anything,” Ant said quietly.  “I just wasn’t sure if I was gonna feel… _weird_ coming back here.   But like I said, I’ll get to know him as best I can before I go back.  I want you to be happy, Pops, and if Bucky is the answer to that then okay.”

Steve grinned.  “Thanks, kiddo.  I’m gonna head up to bed, and I think you should too.  Are you still getting the night terrors?  I could put up the child proof gate again if you need.”

Ant shook his head.  “Nah, I’ve been okay with that.  Honest.  I started using all those stress relieving exercises that Phil showed me and I’ve been fine ever since.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Steve said, messing up his son’s hair playfully.  “Don’t stay up too late, okay.”

Ant nodded.  “Yeah, I’ll head up in a bit.”

Steve stood up and kissed the top of his son’s head.  “Goodnight, kiddo.  I’ll see you tomorrow morning.”

“See you tomorrow, Pops,” Ant said, looking back to Steve.

Steve ran up the steps and headed to the bedroom.  He walked in to see Bucky sitting at the desk.  Steve made his way behind him.  He rested his arms on Bucky’s shoulders as he kissed the top of his head.  “How’s it coming?”

Bucky looked up, meeting Steve’s lips with his own.  “I don’t know.  We’re trying to make everything work with the client, but between you and me, Sam’s gonna have to try and figure out if this is gonna be up to code.  Not to mention the time limit… it’s gonna be rough couple of weeks.”

Steve frowned.  “You’ll get through it.”

Bucky nodded.  “Did you talk to Ant?”

Steve sighed as he made his way over to the bed.  “Yeah.  He’s got a lot going on.  He’s worried about Tony and… other stuff.” Steve groaned as he rubbed the back of his neck.  “He was actually kind of nervous to come here, now that we’re… cohabitating.”

Bucky looked up from the blueprint and turned to face Steve.  “Yeah?”

“He just doesn’t know you like the girls and I do.  I asked him to try to get to know you better, and I’d appreciate it if you could make an effort too.  I know you’re busy and you’ve got a lot going on but I love you and I love my son.  You’re the two most important men in my life so I’d appreciate it if you two got along,” Steve confessed.

Bucky stood up and walked over to Steve who was standing near the bed.  Bucky rested his hands on Steve’s hips, as he lightly kissed him.  “I think that’s a good idea.  Maybe I’ll take him and the girls out for lunch when I’m on my break or something.”

Steve looked down shyly.  “Thank you.  I--I just really want you two to get along.”

“Hey, listen.  I’m planning on sticking around for a while, Steve.  There is no way that you and I can have a happy and functional relationship if I don’t get along with your kids.  I think that getting to know your son is a great idea, and something that I should’ve done a long time ago.” Bucky gave Steve a chaste kiss.

Steve smiled as he wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck deepening the kiss. After a few moments, they pulled apart.  “I’m so lucky.  You’re so good with the girls and I know that if Ant got to know you, he’d love you too.  I--I am so grateful, you really make my kids a priority for you.”

Bucky shook his head, laughing.  “Steve, I know we’ve discussed the future together, but at least for me, I’ve always known that if I want that future to happen then I _have_ to make an effort with your kids.  You have always made it very clear how important they are to you.”

Steve sighed.  “Yeah that’s true.  I mean Stephanie and Ant both interrupted our first few dates, so I guess you really have known since the beginning.”

Bucky chuckled.  “You can say that again.  Besides, if I’m gonna be around for a while it’ll be easier for everyone if we can all just get along.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Steve said as he plopped himself down on the bed.  “I just don’t know what I’m gonna do with this kid.”

“You know it _does_ make sense that he feels this way.  I mean you and I were together for, what, a month and a half before he went off to school?  He barely knows me, and not only am I dating his father but I’ve moved into his safe space.  If I were him, I’d probably want to punch me in the face,” Bucky said as he made his way back over to the desk.

Steve hummed.  “Yeah.  I guess.”  He sat up slightly to look over to Bucky.  “You still got work to do?  It’s late,” Steve said looking at the clock, it was well past midnight.  “Come to bed.  You’ve got to get up early.”

“I’ll be there in a bit, there’s just a few things I want to take care of first.  I don’t want to make a habit of coming home late,” Bucky said picking up his pencil.

Steve frowned but remained silent.  He knew better than to push it, Bucky was a grown man and Steve was not his father.  He couldn’t tell Bucky to put the work away and get some rest, so he just sighed and changed for bed.  “Just don’t work yourself too hard.”

“I won’t, I promise.  Just a few more weeks of this and then I go back to doing regular home remodels and repairs opposed to rebuilds.  We don’t get a lot of these,” Bucky replied, eyes still glued to the paper.

Steve sighed as he moved the comforter down slightly.  “Yeah, but you’re gonna be involved in the build, and if it’s this much of a problem who knows how long that’ll take.  I just don’t want you to overdo it.”

“I just have to show up the first couple of days to make sure that all our measurements are right.  Those guys know what they’re doing.  Like I said this is just for a few weeks.” Bucky erased something fervently.

Steve got in the bed and tried to get comfortable.  “I know, but Christmas is barely a week away.  I just don’t want you to work yourself too hard so you won’t enjoy the holiday.”

 Bucky laughed.  “Don’t worry, I’ll be around to help get everything ready.  Who’s coming again?”

“Nat, Clint, Rosie, and maybe Sam.  I also invited Tony, but I don’t think he’s coming,” Steve said rolling over trying to find a comfortable position.

Bucky visibly tensed.  “You invited Tony?”

"Yeah. He’s gonna be by himself since Sunset left, and I know the kids have been worrying about him.  So I promised them that I’d invite him.  Not that it matters, he doesn’t want to come anyway,” Steve said nonchalantly.

Bucky sighed.  “I just think it would have been nice of you to give me a heads up that your were inviting your ex-husband over for Christmas.”

Steve frowned.  “I didn’t think it would be a problem.  We’ve got kids together, I’m doing it for them, not me.”

"I don’t have a problem with the fact that you invited him,” Bucky said slowly.  “I have a problem with the fact that you didn’t talk to me about it.”

“You’re right,” Steve said quietly.  “I’m sorry, I’m just not used to running these decisions by anyone.  I’ve been on my own for a while and I honestly didn’t think about talking to you about it.  It won’t happen again.”

Bucky shook his head.  “Don’t apologize.  It’s--I just--I guess I still feel a little… _threatened_ by your ex.”

Steve smiled as he got out of the bed and walked back over to Bucky.  He spun the office chair so that Bucky was facing him.  He put his hand on the armrests and leaned down so they were eye to eye.  Steve kissed Bucky sweetly.  “I chose _you_ , and I would do it again.” He pecked his lips.  “Again,” another kiss, “and again.”  He kissed Bucky one more time lingering a little bit.  “I love _you_.  Not Tony, not anymore.”

            Bucky grinned as he kissed Steve back.  Bucky put his hands on Steve’s hips, he pulled Steve closer so that he was practically in the chair with him.  Steve smiled into the kiss.  Yes.   _This_ was what he wanted.  This was the life that he wanted.  This is the life he would fight for.

They pulled apart and Bucky looked up at him perplexed.  “How do you feel about kids?”

Steve laughed.  “Well considering I have three, I’m pretty partial to them.”

Bucky raised his eyes at him.  “I meant the idea of having more.  If we’re gonna have a future together we should be on the same page.”

Steve shrugged.  “I don’t know, I mean I’ve got my three.  What do you--”

“Just answer the question, Stevie,” Bucky teased.

He sighed.  “I mean yeah, I always wanted more kids, and I’d love for us to raise children together, but I have my three.  If you don’t want kids, I will be more than happy with what I have.”

Bucky smiled slightly.  “Relax, Stevie.  I want kids.  At least one is fine but two or three would be ideal.”

Steve grinned.  “That sounds amazing.  I always wanted more kids.  C’mon, put the work away and come to bed.”

“As tempting as that offer is, I think I should finish up some stuff--” Bucky began.

Steve groaned.  “Fine, fine.  Finish up.  Wake me if you need help with the arm.  Don’t forget to put lotion on because the doctor said--”

“I know, Steve,” Bucky said with a smile.  “I can handle it on my own.  Believe it or not, I was able to function before I had you around to be oh so attentive.”

Steve rolled his eyes, as he went back to bed.  “Bite me, jerk.  Forgive me for trying to help.”

Bucky laughed.  “Oh come on.  You know I’m just teasing.  Don’t worry about me, and just go to sleep.  I’ll join you in a few minutes.”

Steve laid down, and finally after some tossing and turning, fell asleep.

The next morning, Steve woke up to the alarm clock.  Steve looked next to him. Bucky wasn’t in the bed, but had fallen asleep at the desk.  Steve turned off the alarm and walked over to Bucky.

“Good morning,” Steve said soothingly rubbing Bucky’s back, and lightly kissing the top of his head.

Bucky groaned as he rubbed his eyes.  “Shit, I must’ve passed out.”

Steve nodded.  “Yup.  Why don’t you take the arm off for a little while, it must be getting uncomfortable since you slept in it.  I’m gonna make breakfast, maybe you should go jump in the shower.  The food’ll be done by the time you get downstairs.”

“Yeah that’s not a bad idea,” Bucky said as he gingerly removed the prosthetic arm.  He pecked Steve’s lips lightly as he stood up.  “I’ll be down in a few.”

Steve watched worriedly as Bucky walked into the conjoined bathroom.  Steve was concerned that Bucky might have been spreading himself too thin.  Between Ant coming into town and the project at work, Bucky had certainly had a lot on his plate.

Steve walked down the steps.  Natalia was the only one who appeared to be awake.  She was sitting at the island in the kitchen, texting someone.  “Morning, Pa,” she greeted, not looking up from her phone.

“Hey, squirt.  Your brother or sister up?” Steve asked as he walked over to the cabinets.

She shrugged.  “If they are, then they’re staying in their rooms for now.  Which you know is a problem because Stephanie has that biology test today--”

“I’m sure she’ll be down in a minute.  Stop trying to get your sister in trouble,” Steve said with a disapproving look.

Natalia snickered, as she hopped off the stool.  “I could go wake her if you want.”

Steve shook his head.  “No way.  I do not want you starting World War III this morning.”  He looked to the steps before calling, “STEPH! BREAKFAST!”

Natalia snorted.  “I would have been a lot nicer than that.”

“Yeah, well she’s not gonna give me a hard time.  You on the other hand… she’d eat your head off,” Steve said as he flipped the pancakes on the griddle.  

Stephanie raced down the steps, clearly irritated.  “Sorry, Pa.  I overslept.”

Steve shrugged.  “Don’t worry about it, I’ll drive you in.  No big deal.”

She nodded as Steve served her some pancakes. He looked to Natalia as he handed her a plate too. “I’ll bring you in too.  You both just need to get a move on.”

Both girls nodded as they quickly ate their breakfast.  As they were eating, Bucky walked down the steps.  He was dressed, or well mostly.  He still didn’t have the arm attached, and Steve was glad.  He could only imagine how stiff Bucky must’ve felt sleeping at the desk all night.

Steve put the plate down at Bucky’s usual seat.  “Perfect timing.  I just finished your pancakes.  I’m gonna drive the girls in today, Steph overslept.  Let me know if you need anything before I leave.”

Bucky shrugged as he picked up the fork and began shoving the pancakes into his mouth.  “I’m fine.  Oh, did you write the note for me to spring the girls early from school?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, I gave it to Tal last night. I appreciate it, I’ve got that job interview this afternoon, I wish Steph had told me she scheduled a doctor’s appointment before I told the potential new hire that I would meet him today.”

Bucky waved dismissively.  “I told Sam that I was gonna take a half day.  He was fine with it.  Besides I’m gonna end up taking the blueprints home the next few weeks anyway.”

Steve kissed Bucky’s head, as he headed to the sink to clean up.  “If you need me to come rescue you, just let me know.  It’s just a check up, so it shouldn’t take too long.  But if they’re giving you a hard time, I could always just reschedule and--”

“Relax, Steve.  I am more than capable of picking the kids up, running a quick errand, and then taking them to lunch.  Go to your meeting, you need to hire a new chef anyway.  Business has been booming and you can’t go in every other day _and_ do all the bookkeeping.  Besides, it’s been busier with the holidays.  You need to hire someone.  I can take the kids to a doctor’s appointment.  It’s not a big deal.  Honestly, I’m glad you trust me enough to drive them around.  I know how protective you can be,” Bucky teased.

Steve gave Bucky a disapproving look.  “The girls can be a handful.  Just let me know if you need anything.”

Bucky smirked as he brought his attention back to his pancakes.  “I’ll call you if necessary, but honestly, I think we’ll be fine.  If you’re worried about Steph’s appointment, I can text you a play by play, but it’s just a check up.”

Steve shook his head.  “It’s not that.  It’s just the first time that you’re gonna be alone with them, and they can be… awful.  Besides, you’re gonna pick Ant up for the lunch and… I don’t know how he’s gonna behave.”

“I can handle it,” Bucky said with his mouth full.  “Plus, if it doesn’t go well we can just come home early.  No big deal.”

Before Steve could respond, the girls ran back into the kitchen, clearly ready for school. “Tal, you’ve got that note I gave you?”

She nodded.  “Yup, we’re ready to go, Pa.”

“Alright, get in the car so I can drop you off and get to work,” Steve said as he glanced at the clock.

“Maybe you should wake Ant first?  I mean he’s probably going to be making plans with Wanda the first chance he gets,” Stephanie suggested.

Steve glanced up the stairs.  He sighed.  “Steph please go tell your brother to wake up, and that after your doctor’s appointment, Bucky is going to pick him up and take you all to lunch.  If he has a problem with that tell him to call me, and that Wanda’s working today so if I see him hanging around the bakery there’s gonna be an issue.”

Stephanie rolled her eyes but complied nonetheless.  She raced up the steps and out of sight.  Steve turned to his youngest.  “C’mon, we’ll meet Steph in the car.”

He looked back to Bucky, “Have a good day.  I’ll see you later!  Call me if they give you any trouble.”

Bucky saluted him mockingly. “Sir, yes, sir.”

Steve frowned in disapproval as he and Natalia walked out the door.  Steve carried Steph’s backpack and placed it in the backseat as Natalia took the front passenger seat.  Steve headed around to his side of the car when Steph stormed out of the house.

“Next time you can send Tal to go wake up Sleeping Beauty.  He threw a shoe at me!” Stephanie shrieked dramatically.

Steve rolled his eyes.  Great.  Ant was in a mood.  “I’ll talk to him about that later.  Thanks for doing me a favor, Steph.  Get in the car, you don’t want to be late.”

Steve got in the driver’s seat of the patriotic minivan and waited until Steph was securely buckled until he began driving them to the school.

“You girls need to be on your best behavior today.  Bucky’s doing us a huge favor and I need you girls to be delightful,” Steve said as he turned the corner.

Natalia laughed.  “I mean he’s been living with us for a while, there’s no need to try and lie to him now.  He’s definitely not going to believe that we’re little cherub children at this point.”

Steve looked at her warningly.  “That doesn’t mean that you two have a ‘Get Out of Jail Free’ card.  If I hear that you girls or your brother were misbehaving or disrespectful, then you will all be in a world of trouble.”

Steve saw Stephanie roll her eyes in the rearview mirror.  “We get it, Pa.  We’ll be nice to your boyfriend.  We won’t scar him to the extent of moving out, I promise.”

“Drop the attitude.  I’m driving you in because _someone_ didn’t wake up in time.  The whole reason that Bucky and I are going to be running around all day, is because someone decided to schedule a doctor’s appointment without checking with anyone first,” Steve said in a hostile tone.  He had enough to worry about without Stephanie’s attitude.

She shut up, but Steve could see her pouting with her arms crossed, muttering angrily in the back seat.  Steve ignored her for the time being.  He had too much on his plate right now to deal with her.  

He pulled into the school parking lot. Steve pulled up to the curb, wishing the girls a good day at school as they exited the car.  Once he saw that they safely entered the school, he began to make his way to the bakery.  

He had a long day ahead of him.  He was looking for a new chef to help out, and hopefully this new guy would be the solution.  The biggest problem Steve had been having with the process is that he was too picky.  All of the chefs that he’d had for years were all wonderful, and exactly what Steve needed at the bakery.  Finding someone new required Steve to be a little more open minded.  There was no chance of him finding a new Dugan or anything.  It was easy to forget that it had taken years for Steve to forge the relationships with his staff that he now held dear.  Hopefully he would remember that when interviewing the potential new hire.

Steve entered the bakery and began to take care of some bookkeeping work, before he headed into the kitchen to help out a bit.  Dugan had done the first part of the interview process and apparently felt confident enough to have Steve do a second interview.  He’d be sure to ask Tim what he thought of the possible new addition to the staff when he had the chance.

All in all the interview was average.  The guy had next to no charisma or personality, but none of that really mattered when it came down to his cooking.  This Luke guy was an amazing chef, and Steve hoped that after he had been working there for a while, perhaps he would become more friendly and approachable.  He hired him on a probationary period.  This would mean that the new guy would essentially have either Steve or Dugan watching him at all times until they deemed him competent enough.

Steve looked at the clock.  It was time to head out.  Dugan would be closing the shop up tonight.  Steve said a quick goodbye to everyone before he headed back home.  Steve hoped that everyone had gotten along.  He hadn’t gotten any phone calls, so that was a good sign.  If things went awry, it wasn’t likely it was too terrible that he would be walking into a minefield.

When Steve entered the house, he was relieved to see Stephanie and Natalia sitting at the island doing their homework.  He took his coat off and walked over to his daughters.

“How was the appointment?”

Stephanie shrugged as she gave Steve a half hug.  “It was fine, I guess.  Nothing to report.  I just had to get a few shots.”

Steve nodded as he gave Natalia a hug.  “How was lunch?”

“It was fine, Pa.  We were on our best behavior, even Ant.  You don’t have anything to worry about,” Natalia said, not looking up from her work.

“Where is your brother… and Bucky?” Steve asked looking around.

“Ant’s taking a shower, and Bucky went upstairs a little while ago to work on his blueprints,” Stephanie answered.  “We brought you home some food from the diner so you don’t have to cook.  The rest of us are too stuffed to eat a meal or anything for dinner.”

Steve nodded as he made his way to the steps.  “Finish your work and let me know if you need any help.  I’ll send your brother down.”  He walked up the steps, first he made his way to Ant’s bedroom.  He hadn’t seen his son since the previous night.

Steve knocked on the door.  Within a few minutes, Ant opened the door, hair still wet from the shower. “Hey, Pops.  How was work?”

“Fine.  How was your day?  I trust it got better after you fought with your sister this morning,” Steve said, crossing his arms.

Ant rolled his eyes.  “Sorry.  It was fine, I guess.”

“How was lunch?” Steve asked.

His son shrugged.  “Look, I mean, I’m not gonna _know_ the guy based on one lunch.  But it was fine, it was a good start.  Steph and Tal seem to really like him.”

“Yeah, well it would be nice if you liked him too,” Steve said trying not to sound discouraged.

“Look, Pops, I’m trying.  He’s a good guy, I guess, but that doesn’t mean he’s good enough for you,” Ant said, crossing his arms back at Steve.  “Look, you know him better than I do, but you’ve gotta understand, I’m your son.  It’s my job to be picky for you.”

Steve nodded.  “I get it.  I don’t agree with you, but I understand where you’re coming from.”

Ant didn’t respond.  He just plopped down on his bed and began texting, who Steve assumed to be Wanda.  He left the room and headed to see Bucky.

When Steve entered the bedroom, Bucky was back at the desk working.  “Hey,” Steve greeted him, kissing Bucky hello.

“Hey,” Bucky said, smiling back.  “Did you hire the guy?”

Steve nodded.  “Yeah, but it’s contingent upon his training with Dugan and me.  So we’ll see if he lasts.”

“You’re too picky.  If he can cook, he can cook,” Bucky teased as he looked back to his work.

Steve laughed, shaking his head playfully.  “When you run a bakery, or any sort of food establishment, you can run it however you like.”

“Fair point,” Bucky said with a smile.

“How did everything go with the kids?” Steve asked as he changed into more comfortable clothes.

Bucky shrugged.  “It went as well as to be expected.  He’s not just gonna magically like me over night, Steve.  The girls were good too, and Ant was personable and he was friendly, but it’s not as if he instantaneously wants to be best friends.”

Steve frowned.  He wasn’t exactly sure what he was expecting, Bucky did have a good point.  This wasn’t just going to be taken care of after one lunch.

“Maybe I’ll take you all out again this weekend,” Bucky said after a long pause.  “I mean it’s the week before the holidays.  You’re gonna be busy all next week.  The least I could do is take you all out for a nice meal.”

“You don’t have to do that,” Steve said, walking back over to Bucky.  “You’ve done more than enough.  I really appreciate you helping me out today.”

Bucky shrugged it off.  “It’s not a big deal.  Besides, I want to take you out.  When’s the last time it was just you, me, and the three kids?  It has to be the summer.  With Ant gone and the girls busy, we haven’t had the chance.  Just look at it as an opportunity for Ant and I to get to know each other better.”

“You don’t have to go through all that trouble.  He’ll get to know you in his own time--”

“Dinner can’t hurt though.  Besides, he hasn’t really seen us _together_.  He has no idea how I treat you, or whether or not we even get along.  It’s a good opportunity,” Bucky said.

Steve shook his head. “Yeah, but I’m not trying to make you go broke by taking us out every other day.”

Bucky scoffed.  “Steve, trust me.  I’m… financially stable enough to take you and the kids out to eat every so often.”

Steve hopped up on the side of the desk, being careful not to crush the blueprints.  “I know, I just don’t want you to go crazy over this whole Ant thing.”

“I won’t, I promise. I’m just making an effort.  Besides, I’m sure everyone could use a night out before the holiday craziness.  I mean, Ant’s gonna be back in Massachusetts before you know it,” Bucky said, putting his pencil down on the desk.

Steve nodded thoughtfully.  “How’s the work going?”

“It’s coming along.  I’m almost done with my part of it.  But then Sam has to show them to the client and make sure that it’s what they want, and then I may have to make tweaks.  Like sinks for example,” Bucky teased.

Steve rolled his eyes.  “We do not need two sinks.  We could manage just fine with one.  We barely ever get ready at the same time anyway.  If I had had a say when Tony bought this place, I would have told him the same thing.  Most people get along fine with just the one.”

“Yeah, well, my point is that the clients are rarely satisfied with the first blueprints we show them.  Hopefully, this will be my last late night.  We’ll see.  For all I know these people will change their minds again.” Bucky sighed as Steve got off the desk.

“I’m gonna go eat.  The girls said you brought me something?” Steve asked as he headed towards the door.

“Yeah, I figured you wouldn’t want to cook.  I left it in the fridge, you’re probably gonna have to heat it up a little bit,” Bucky said.  “I’ll be back down in a second.  The dog was freaking out today.  I think we left him alone a little too long.  He was weeping for a while.  I think he’s napping now.”

Steve groaned.  “I’ll go check on him.  Private’s been giving me a hard time in the mornings.  I can only handle so many accidents, he’s been peeing all over the place.”

Bucky laughed.  “He’s a puppy, he’ll get better as the training goes on.  I’ll take him to one of those obedience courses after the holidays.”

Steve rolled his eyes as he walked out of the bedroom, and made his way downstairs to the kitchen.  The girls were still working on their homework.

Steve opened the refrigerator and saw to his delight, a grilled cheese sandwich from their favorite diner.  He smiled as he took the sandwich out of the container and put it in the toaster oven.  

“You have a lot of homework?” Steve asked his daughters as he peered into the living room to see Private laying on the couch, asleep.

“I’m almost done,” Natalia said with a yawn.

“Same,” Stephanie nodded.  “I’ve just got a few more questions and then I’ll be done for the night.”

Steve nodded as he took the sandwich out of the toaster.  “I don’t want you to stay up too late.  Didn’t you say that you wanted me to take you to your dad’s tomorrow morning?”

Stephanie shook her head.  “I think we’re gonna go next weekend. It’s right before Christmas, and I may stop over there at some point during the week.  But Ant’s here and we wanna spend time with him.”

“Yeah,” Natalia chimed in.  “Plus Bucky said-- _Ow_!” Natalia shot Stephanie a dirty look. Steve assumed that Steph had kicked her under the table.

“Bucky said _what_?” Steve asked raising an eyebrow.  “And don’t kick your sister, Steph,” He said as an afterthought.

Natalia’s mouth hung open for a second before she responded.  “He just said that you wanted to spend more time as a family, since Ant’s never here and when he is here, we usually wind up at Dad’s.  He only mentioned that you’d appreciate having a weekend with your kids.”

Steve wasn’t necessarily convinced, but he didn’t push the issue.  “Just finish your homework and head up to bed.”

Stephanie’s eyes were shooting daggers at Natalia, who quite frankly looked like she couldn’t care less.  Steve ignored them as he as he ate his sandwich.  He didn’t have the time or the patience to put up with them at the moment.  He had had a long day, and tomorrow he planned on sleeping in and spending the weekend with his family.  It was gonna be great.  He wouldn’t let, Steph, Natalia, or Ant ruin it.  The past few weeks at the shop had been unbelievably stressful the last thing that he needed was to deal with their attitudes.

Steve walked over to the living room.  The puppy was awake now, eagerly wagging his tail in hopes that Steve would come over and pet him.  Steve shook his head as he sat next to the dog and began idly petting the puppy.  He would have to make sure that Private went outside again before bed.  The last thing he wanted to do was clean up dog urine the next morning.

After a few moments, Ant walked down the steps.  He grinned as he sat on the other side of the dog and took over with the petting.  “How come you didn’t tell me that you guys got a dog?  I like dogs.”

Steve snorted.  “It wasn’t like we intentionally kept you out of the loop.  I just assumed your sisters would have told you.  Besides, I for one was much more interested in hearing about your academics and whether or not you were making friends.  That all took priority for me.”

Ant nodded, seeming to understand. “Yeah, I guess.  Did I tell you that Wanda and Pietro came to visit?  They took a cross country road trip.   It was really cool to see them.  Maybe next semester, you’ll be able to come visit too.”

Steve nodded back at his son.  “Yeah, actually, we’ve been talking about taking a trip out there.  Last semester was tough though.  Unfortunately there was way too much going on.  We didn’t have a chance to get out to the East Coast.  But we’re already looking into flights for next semester, no matter how many sedatives I have to take, we’ll be there.”

“Cool.  I missed you guys, you know?  It’s weird.  I’m going to school with a bunch of people who know what they want to do with their lives and I… have no idea,” Ant said quietly.

“That’s actually pretty normal, kid.  Most people just make it look like they’ve got it all figured out, but for the most part, they all feel the same way,” Steve said nudging his son slightly.  “You’re actually… _average_ for once.”

Ant frowned.  “Is that what it feels like?  Because, I do not like it one bit.”  He laughed, shaking his head a little bit.

“Yeah, well don’t get used to it.  I’m sure you’ll be well above average when it comes to _everything_ else,” Steve said with a chuckle.  

“One can only hope, right?” Ant asked as he continued to pet the puppy.  

Steve smiled.  “Look, you’ll figure it out.  Don’t rush a decision and take your time to think everything through.  I promise it’s easier than it sounds.”

The rest of the night was relatively uneventful, and Steve went to bed before he knew it.  For once things were finally going his way.  Sure, the Ant thing had been a speed bump, but things were slowly beginning to fix themselves.

The next morning Steve was greeted by the puppy leaping onto the bed and licking his face.  Steve shot up and looked next to him.  Bucky wasn’t in bed.  Steve looked to see Bucky standing in the doorway.

“Good morning,” His boyfriend teased.  Bucky looked amazing, as per usual.  He was leaning against the door, wearing a loose tank top and sweatpants.  He was holding a cup of coffee in his right hand, the prosthetic unattached to his left shoulder.  Steve wasn’t surprised.  Bucky had fallen asleep with the arm on a few days that week.  Steve could imagine that it was getting uncomfortable.

“What time is it?” It was rare for Steve to sleep in past Bucky.  He was typically an early bird.

“Almost eleven.  The kids said I should wake you up and that you would never forgive me for letting you sleep until noon.” Bucky smirked.

Steve laughed as he pet the dog that was still fidgeting on the bed.  “They weren’t wrong.  I can’t remember the last time I slept this late.”

“Me neither.  Usually it’s _your_ job to wake _me_ up,” Bucky said casually.  “The kids have a surprise for you downstairs.”

Steve raised an eyebrow.  “I hope it’s not a ‘sorry we burned down most of the house’ kind of surprise.”

Bucky shook his head.  “It’s a good one. I promise.”

Steve got out of bed and pulled on his robe.  He was definitely curious about this ‘surprise’ that the kids had for him.  He made his way down the steps, Private eagerly following behind him.

They entered the kitchen, where Steve saw a large collection of dirty dishes in the sink.  

Steve frowned but before he could say anything, Stephanie spoke up.  “We made you breakfast, Pa.”

Steve’s frown softened and transformed into a soft smile.  “Thanks. That was very sweet of you.”

Bucky whispered in his ear, “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of the dishes.”

Steve nodded as he took his plate that the kids left for him on the counter.  Steve sat down at the island. “What’s the occasion?”

Ant shrugged. “Well we figured since we were all here, and you actually slept in late enough for us to actually make you breakfast, which happens… never.  Plus we were already making food for ourselves… we just thought it would be a good idea.”

“Well, I’m certainly not complaining.”  He began eating his breakfast.  The pancakes were delicious.  He wasn’t too surprised, he had been cooking with the kids since they were old enough to see over the counter--with a step stool.  

As appreciative as Steve was that he didn’t have to make breakfast, he couldn’t help but wonder why the kids had been so thoughtful.  His children were wonderful, but their one major fault was at times they could be overly lazy.  It was rare for them to do anything beyond what was expected of them.  He couldn’t help but wait for the other shoe to drop.  Would they ask to spend Christmas with Tony?  Were they going to tell him about poor grades?  Was this just buttering him up for better Christmas presents?  He tried to push those thoughts out of his mind and focus on the lovely breakfast that was prepared in front of him.     

“So,” Bucky announced sitting down next to Steve.  “Don’t make any dinner plans tonight… _any_ of you.  We’re going somewhere nice… dress accordingly.”  

Steve was about to protest when he noticed the kids exchanging brief yet knowing glances.  He wasn’t sure what nonverbal conversation that they were having, but he had a feeling that whatever it was would be discussed during dinner.  Perhaps it had something to do with the real reason that the kids had been so kind and made him breakfast.

“Are you sure?” Steve asked Bucky.  “You really don’t have to make a fuss just because we’re all home.”

Bucky rolled his eyes.  “One day I’ll offer to do something like this and you won’t try to talk me out of it.  And _yes,_ I’m sure.  You know, I’d certainly like to celebrate this day off considering the insane work week that I’ve had.”

“All right, all right,” Steve said, jokingly putting his arms up in defense.  “So long as the reason isn’t that my kids are over.”

Bucky waved at him dismissively.  “Please, you know most people would be glad that their boyfriend is making an effort with their kids, but not you I guess.  If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you wanted me to treat them like dirt.”

Steve frowned, almost scoldingly.  “I just don’t want them to take advantage.  Tony has certainly spoiled them.”

Bucky shrugged as he pecked Steve’s lips affectionately.  “It’s not a big deal.  Besides, bribery is pretty much the only thing I’ve got going for me.”

“That and your cool arm,” Natalia pointed out jokingly.

Steve shot her a look and she quickly muttered an apology.  He turned back to Bucky.  “Just promise me that you won’t go too crazy.  Nowhere too nice.  It’s just dinner.”

Bucky smirked.  “Whatever you say,” he said unconvincingly.

“I mean it, Buck.  I really don’t want you to go overboard.  My kids are spoiled enough.”

“I hear you loud and clear,” Bucky said, again not at all convincingly.  “I’m gonna go take a quick shower.”  He quickly whispered in Steve’s ear, “You’re more than welcome to join me…”

Steve suddenly forgot all about the dinner protests as he quickly finished his pancakes and raced up the steps to join his boyfriend.

Most of the day passed by uneventfully, aside from having to break up a few fights between the kids, but that was to be expected.  Steve had almost completely forgotten about their dinner plans.  If he hadn’t noticed the girls fighting over the bathroom again, he probably would have forgotten to get ready.  Luckily, he had learned to get ready very quickly as a single parent.  There was no knowing when he’d have to take the kids somewhere.  It was funny looking back. Tony used to spend more time than the girls getting ready, but he didn’t have to wait long, or at all, when it came to Bucky.

They were currently in the car.  It was silent but not in an uncomfortable way.  It was relaxed.  Bucky was driving, since Steve had no idea where they were going.  Bucky rarely drove if he could avoid it.  He was always worried that the arm would stiffen up and he’d lose control.  But that _never_ happened, and Steve trusted him completely.  Worse case scenario Bucky would pull over and then they’d figure it out.  So Steve was overjoyed when Bucky told him that he wanted to be the one to drive.

Steve kept checking the backseat.  The kids were being uncharacteristically quiet.  In fact, aside from the occasional spats, they had been pretty quiet all day.  He was almost certain that something strange was going on with them.  Whatever it was, he hoped they didn’t bring it up during dinner.

They arrived at the restaurant and Steve… well Steve was confused.  They were at _his_ bakery.  Steve turned to Bucky who said nothing, and the kids didn’t comment either.  Steve opened his mouth but before he could get a word out, Bucky and the kids exited the car.  Steve wasn’t sure what was going on.  Did they know something that he didn’t?  Was there an accident or something that they had to take care of before dinner?

Steve just got out of the car, preparing himself for the worst.  He followed his family as they headed into the bakery.  Steve was honestly not prepared for what he saw when he entered the store.  The bakery was completely rearranged.  The typical display of several tables and stools were replaced by one large table in the center.  The lights were on but they were far more dim than the usual bright setting.  Steve glanced around, and was surprised to see Wanda standing near the table, she was wearing a black button down shirt with dress pants, it was far more formal than what she typically wore to work.

Wanda smiled.  “Please sit down.  Can I get any of you something to drink?”

Bucky smirked.  “We may need a minute.  I think he’s still processing everything.”

Steve turned to Bucky as his boyfriend and children sat at the table.  “What’s going on?”

“This is where we’re having dinner.  Look, I know that things have been crazy, and that we’ve all been really stressed.  Long story short, I was talking to Dugan and he suggested that we come here for dinner one night, and he’d make us a nice meal and we could just relax for a little while.  Plus this _is_ where we had our first date,” Bucky said, his smile not faltering.

Steve slowly sat down still not quite sure what was going on.  His kids kept their eyes glued to the tablecloth, not daring to look him in the eye.  Bucky had a playful smile on his face, and Steve still felt like he was missing some important piece information.  

Wanda quickly returned with glasses of water.  She smiled as she made eye contact with Ant, and Steve for the first time actually began to understand their relationship.  The two didn’t say a word and yet their brief eye contact caused the two’s attitudes to brighten.  Wanda was always less than cheery and yet making eye contact with Ant made her flat out giddy.  They were having an entire nonverbal conversation, and no one but them had a clue as to what was being communicated.  Steve was genuinely glad that his son was able to have that.

Wanda tried to repress her smile and fight back a laugh.  “Chef Dugan has a wonderful meal prepared for you tonight.  In the meantime, I could get you something to drink and some salad.”

Everyone placed their drink orders, aside from Steve who just muttered, “Water is fine.”  He was still waiting for the other shoe to drop.  It wasn’t that he didn’t appreciate the gesture, he just felt as though he was being left out of something, as if there was some huge inside joke that everyone else knew but him.

Bucky tried his best to offer up some light conversation, but clearly the girls were preoccupied with something, and Ant seemed to be waiting for Wanda to return.  Steve just smiled halfheartedly.  He knew that something was going on, and he was far too impatient to ignore it.

Wanda hurriedly came back with their drinks and salads.  Naturally the kids didn’t eat their salad, but Steve and Bucky certainly did.  Bucky kept grinning at him, as if there was something that he was bursting to tell him.  He didn’t say anything.  But his facial expression practically said ‘I can’t wait to tell you something.’

Soon Wanda returned with five skirt steaks, with mashed potatoes.  Steve glared at Bucky who innocently sipped his club soda.  He had not wanted Bucky to spend too much money tonight, and he had at least hoped that if they were eating at his bakery that dinner wouldn’t be too expensive… he was wrong.

Regardless of price, the food was delicious.  In fact there was no need for Bucky to try and create small talk anymore.  They were all too focused on stuffing their faces to talk about anything.  They all finished their meals in record time.

Steve looked to Bucky hoping for some explanation.   Bucky didn’t say anything at first.  He just casually crossed his arms and maintained a casual eye contact with Steve.  “Did everyone enjoy their meals,” Bucky asked his smirk not leaving his face.

The kids all nodded and tried to contain grins.  Again Steve couldn’t shake the feeling that everyone else seemed to know something other than him.  Steve looked around as he fidgeted in his seat.  He saw Wanda and Dugan eagerly watching in from behind the counter.

Steve sighed.  “What’s going on, Buck?”

“What,” Bucky teased, “I can’t do something nice for you and your family without being accused of having some ulterior motive?”

Steve crossed his arms, matching his boyfriend.  “Buck, I’m starting to get the impression that there’s something else going on here.  Unless you’re planning to chicken out.”

“Who spilled the beans?” Bucky asked not moving a muscle, yet still as calm and composed as ever.

Steve raised an eyebrow.  “No one.  I just wasn’t born yesterday.”

“So… what’s your answer?” Bucky asked, his smirk widening a little bit.

Steve snorted.  “Well are you gonna ask me or just throw around suggestions?” Steve recited Bucky’s words back to him.

“You are such a punk,” Bucky muttered as his face broke out into a full grin.

Steve put his arms out. “Well you jerk, if you want me to be your husband you should probably ask.”

Bucky paused.  “You know, I was trying to do this _right_ , and you just couldn’t be patient.  You know, I had this whole speech prepared and everything.  I was gonna talk about how this was where I brought you on our first date, and how I had no idea you owned the place.”  Bucky stood up and pushed in his chair.  He didn’t walk away though, he just leaned against the seat before he continued.  “Then I was gonna talk about how you tried to teach me to cook, and how that failed miserably.  I was going to tell you about how freaking happy I’ve been since we’ve been together.  I was gonna end it with telling you how, before I even started planning all this, I asked your children for permission to ask you to marry me.”

Steve looked at his children, not quite sure what to think.  Stephanie was tearing up already.  Natalia was smiling, looking slightly guilty.  Even Ant had a smile on his face, he nodded when Steve looked at him as if to say ‘Yes, I approve.’

Steve turned back to Bucky.  He stood up to be on the same level as him and cleared his throat.  “So what are you waiting for?  Aren’t you gonna ask me?”

Bucky walked over to Steve.  Steve turned so that he was facing him, neither of them said anything. Not at first.  After a few moments, Bucky slowly got down on one knee.   “Steven--”

“Yes.” Steve said before Bucky could get the words out.  “Yes, I’ll marry you.”

Bucky grinned as he stood up and kissed Steve’s lips deeply.  Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky’s neck, pulling him closer.  How could he have ever thought he wanted anything other than this… any _one_ other than Bucky.

They broke apart after a few moments. Bucky whispered in his ear, “I think there are three people in particular who want to talk to you before we head home.”

Steve nodded as he turned to face his children.  Stephanie was in full blown tears as she immediately ran to hug Steve.  Natalia walked over to him, she was smiling, but there was a sadness in her eyes.  She went to Steve’s other side and hugged him too.  Steve looked to Ant who was grinning.  

Once Steve was detached from the girls, Ant came over.  “Um so… the real reason I didn’t come over right away was because I was worried I was gonna blow the secret.  I said that I didn’t like Bucky so you wouldn’t be suspicious.  I guess it worked?”

Steve laughed.  “Yeah it did.  It worked pretty well.”

Bucky came up behind him and put his arm around Steve’s waist, tucking him into his side as much as possible.  “I spoke to all the kids individually before I even thought about planning this.  Stephanie was a little hesitant at first, but she gave her blessing.  Natalia was ecstatic, and the phone call with Ant just consisted of threats that if I hurt you, he’d hurt me.  It was all very sweet.”

Steve grinned as he relaxed into Bucky’s grip.  “We should probably thank Dugan and Wanda for everything they did tonight.  This was… amazing, Buck.”

Bucky chuckled.  “I figured if I was gonna do this, then I better do it right.”

They walked over to Wanda and Dugan, both of which congratulated them.  Steve just couldn’t stop thanking them over and over for what they had both done for Bucky and him.  He had never would have imagined that they would have gone to these lengths for him.

Steve sent Wanda and Dugan home while Bucky, the kids, and him put the bakery back into the proper set up.  It didn’t take long, at least Steve was too excited and happy for anything to seem like a chore at that point.

“I’m gonna go get the car,” Bucky said, giving Steve a quick kiss before bolting out the door.

Natalia walked over to him, still looking a little glum.  “Pa, I’m really happy for you.  I just--I know-- if you guys have more kids we’re not gonna have to spend all our time at Dad’s house are we?”

Steve laughed as he pulled her in for a hug.  “Absolutely not.  There is no way that I’d just send you off because I have more kids.  Besides,” he said nudging her arm slightly, “who’s gonna watch them when Bucky and I have date night if you’re not around?”

“I don’t know, Tal,” Ant teased.  “Maybe once they have new kids, they’ll realize what a pain you are, and make a ‘No Natalia’ rule up.”

Steve gave his son a look.  “Knock it off.”  He turned back to Natalia, “Don’t listen to your brother.  If I kept him around all these years then _you_ have nothing to worry about.”

Natalia’s face brightened up at that as they all walked to the door.  Steve quickly locked everything up as Bucky pulled the car up to the curb.  

They entered the car, and everyone was talking all at once.  Stephanie was asking what color she should wear for a dress.  Ant was trying to figure out when he’d be able to come home from school.  Natalia was debating whether or not she was too old to be a flower girl.  Steve and Bucky just stayed silent.  They had so much to discuss, but now wasn’t the time for it.  They had just become engaged--they weren’t in a rush to set a date.

When they got home, the kids ran up the steps, all eagerly talking about the wedding.  The dog jumped over to Steve, wagging his tail.  Steve smiled as he picked up the puppy.  He turned to Bucky.  “I think someone’s trying to congratulate us.”

Bucky laughed as he pet the dog.  “I don’t think he has any idea, but it’s sweet that you think so.”

Steve put the puppy down and he pulled Bucky in for a kiss.  “Thank you, Buck. I really appreciate that you incorporated my kids into tonight. It meant a lot to me.”

Bucky smiled. “Of course I asked your kids.  If we’re gonna be married, then your kids will be my stepkids and I want to have the best possible relationship with them that I can.”

“Well, either way, thank you.  It meant a lot to me--and them.” Steve said.

“That was the plan,” Bucky smirked as he pulled Steve in for another kiss.  “God, how did I get so lucky?”

Steve scoffed.  “Did you really think I was gonna say no?  We’ve discussed marriage before.”

Bucky shrugged.  “Discussing it and committing to it are two different things.  Besides, I know Ant and I had that whole charade going on, and I thought you might say no because you thought your son didn’t approve.”

“You should give me a little more credit than that.  I love my kids, but I gave up a lot for them--not that I’m complaining.  I’m just saying that they would have to suck it up for me just this once.  When I thought it was over, you know with the whole Tony thing, I was a mess.  I don’t want to feel that way again.”

Bucky kissed Steve with a smile.  “Yeah?  Well, hopefully this means you’ll never have to feel that way again.  You’re not getting rid of me, Rogers.  I’m with you till the end of the line.”

Steve felt himself begin to blush as he took Bucky’s hand in his.  “If you want, we can take this upstairs.  I mean, we certainly have a lot to celebrate.”

Bucky’s grin broadened.  “That actually sounds like a great idea, Captain Rogers.  I know we’ve both had a busy week and I think we can make up for some lost time tonight.”

Steve’s face lit up as he kissed Bucky again. “Then I think we better make the most of tonight, because who knows how busy we’ll be next week.”

Bucky laughed as he eagerly dragged Steve up the stairs.

* * *

 

            _Four Months Later_

The wedding was about a week away.  While it would be vastly smaller than Steve’s first wedding, there was still so much to be done.  They still had to set everything up and make silly party favors.  Stephanie needed to go for her last dress fitting, and Ant’s flight was in danger of being delayed due to some freak wind storm he’d be flying over in the midwest.  It seemed as though the wedding, though smaller, would be far more hectic than the first.

Bucky, to his credit, was beyond helpful.  He was making just as many calls as Steve was, and trying his best for everything to go off without a hitch.  Despite all his efforts, it certainly seemed that Bucky would be equally as happy if they had just gone down to city hall and signed the marriage license and then went to the diner.  It was slightly unnerving how calm Bucky was in the midst of all the chaos.  Every time they hit a bump in the road Bucky’s response would always be, “At the end of the day, no matter what happens, we’re still getting married.”

At first it was reassuring hearing Bucky’s words but lately they had become a thorn in Steve’s side.  He didn’t want them to be satisfied with a marriage license.  He wanted to properly celebrate the two of them coming together to officially become a family.  He had been through so much before he and Bucky found each other.  He just wanted to proclaim their love and union to the world.  So Bucky’s calming words had become unnerving.  Because yes, obviously they would be married no matter what, but that didn’t mean they couldn’t do it _right_.

Natalia entered the house.  She must have come off the bus from school.  Since she was alone that meant that Steph was probably staying at Tony’s that night.  

“How was school, squirt?” Steve asked, looking up from the seating chart he had been organizing.

She shrugged.  “Fine, I guess.  You need help with anything?”

Steve glanced over to Bucky who was currently on the phone with the florist.  “You could do your homework.  I’ll let you know if anything else comes up,” Steve said, returning his attention to the problematic seating chart.  “Did your Dad mention whether or not he was coming, or if he’s bringing anyone?”

The decision to invite Tony was a difficult one.  Initially, Bucky had not wanted Tony anywhere near the wedding, and Steve understood, it wasn’t as if Tony’s presence there was something he overly desired either.  The two _did_ ultimately decide to invite him out of respect for the kids.  

As mature as Steve’s children were being about the wedding, Steve remembered how hard it was for them with Tony’s wedding to Sunset.  The circumstances were different, of course, but the kids felt guilty for attending and having a good time.  Steve didn’t want them to feel that Tony was unwelcome in his ‘new life’ and he hoped they’d feel comfortable enough with it, knowing that their father was welcome there.

“He didn’t say anything about it to me,” she said as she began emptying her bookbag.  “I think Steph said she was going to ask him about it tonight.”

Steve nodded.  “Thanks, Tal.  I’ll ask her tomorrow.  Let me know if you need help with your work.”

Bucky walked back into the kitchen and placed the phone on the counter.  “Hey, monster.  How was school?”

She playfully stuck her tongue out at him.  “As I was telling Pa… it was fine.  How’s the wedding planning going, Buckaroo?”

Steve smiled fondly as he watched Natalia and Bucky tease each other.  Out of all his kids, Natalia had taken to Bucky the best.  The two got along famously, and she had definitely been the most supportive. Not that his other kids _weren’t_ supportive--they just hadn’t really developed much of a relationship with Bucky.  Natalia, on the other hand, had no trouble getting along with, and getting to know Bucky.

“Have you heard anything about Ant’s flight?” Bucky asked, knocking Steve out of his thoughts.

He shook his head.  “Nothing yet.  They don’t want to cancel anything too soon, but I don’t know what we’re gonna do if he can’t make it.”

Bucky nodded knowingly.  The one thing that Bucky hadn’t been overly calm about was the kids’ involvement in the wedding.  He insisted on it, claiming that he wasn’t just marrying Steve, but permanently entering into their lives as well and he wanted to make sure that he took that seriously.

“I don’t want to postpone--” Steve began.

“Don’t think like that yet,” Bucky said, still calm as ever.  “If Ant’s flight gets cancelled then we’ll deal with that then.  I’ve been looking into some train routes that might be able to get him here worst case scenario.”

Steve’s expression softened.  “Thanks for looking into that.  I appreciate knowing our options.  I just--he _really_ needs to be here.”

“I agree,” Bucky said, running his fingers through his hair. “We’ll find a way to get him here.”

Steve let out a sigh.  “What did the florist say?”

“That the order will be ready by the wedding.  Everything is going according to schedule on that front. Though, I’ve got to be honest, I didn’t realize that you wanted so many flowers.  I thought you had allergies,” Bucky said with a grin.

Steve gave him a disapproving look as he placed the seating chart down on the counter.  “Not for nothing, Barnes. You didn’t seem to have a problem with it when we placed the order months ago.”

Bucky put his hands up defensively.  “I don’t got a problem, Stevie.  I’m just making sure that you’re not going to be a mess on our wedding day because of some stinking flowers.”

“I’ll be fine,” Steve said nonchalantly.  He turned his attention back to his seating chart.  “Have you heard back from your old army buddies yet?”

Bucky frowned.  “Nah.  Most of those guys have issues, and we didn’t really keep in touch once we got stateside.  Some of them felt guilty about the arm even though there was nothing they could have done to prevent it.  Some of them are still friends with Brock which could make things weird.  And like I said, it’s been years since I’ve spoken to most of them.  I’m not surprised that it doesn’t look like any of them are coming.”

Natalia frowned.  “You don’t have friends, Bucky?  The guest list looks like all Pa’s friends.”

Bucky shook his head.  “It’s not that I don’t have friends, I’m just not close enough with most of these people to invite them to my wedding.  I like to keep to myself for the most part.”  He paused briefly.  “I may have some work colleagues I could invite.  They all like _you_ , Steve.  They love when you visit and bring those sweets.”

“You want to invite some of them?  Natalia’s right, your guest list is pretty barren.  I was hoping some of your old army buddies would want to come but…” His voice trailed off.

Bucky raised an eyebrow.  “Yeah sure.  I guess we can invite them.  I mean the only thing that really matters is that you, the kids, and I are there, right?”

“Of course,” Steve said, not wanting to embarrass his fiance.  “I just think it’d be nice for you to have support there.  I mean I know that you and Sam are friends, and that your family is not around, but I was hoping you’d have more people coming.”

“What can I say?  I’m not as social as you, Stevie.  It doesn’t matter to me.  Look, I’m not the most sociable guy, I don’t get too close to people if I can avoid it.  I invited my boss and my old war cohort.  If it makes you feel better, I can invite the guys from work.  We play poker sometimes,” Bucky said, crossing his arms.

Steve nodded. “Yeah, I think it’s a good idea.  I want your friends to be represented.”

“I thought we agreed on a small guest list?” Bucky asked in a light teasing tone.

“Well yeah, but I didn’t think that meant my friends were the only ones coming,” Steve said honestly.

Bucky chuckled.  “Look if it makes you feel better, I’ll invite the work guys and reach out to my army comrades who haven’t RSVPed yet.”

“None of them have RSVPed yet.”  Steve frowned.  “Our entire guest list contains my friends and family.”

Bucky pouted.  “Hey, Sam’s my friend too.” He laughed.

Steve gave him a disapproving look.  And Bucky laughed again.  “Oh come on, Steve.  It’s not a big deal.  I’ll call them and invite the other guys from work.  It really doesn’t bother me though.”

“Well it bothers me,” Steve said, crossing his arms.  “You need friends--other than Sam and me.  It’s important to have people you can trust and talk to.  God if it weren’t for being able to vent to Sam, Tony and I would have killed each other.  You’re gonna need to complain about me to someone.”

Bucky shook his head.  “Believe it or not, I don’t think you and I are going to have the same problems that you and Tony had.  But I’ll invite them.  In fact, I’ll call my army comrades right now.”

Steve watched as Bucky snatched the phone back up and waved it jokingly at Steve.  “I’ll be right back.”

Steve made a face as Bucky left the room.  Natalia crossed her arms.  “You’re marrying a hermit, Pa.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “He’s not a hermit he’s… he… he keeps to himself.  There’s nothing wrong with that.”

Natalia snorted.  “You keep telling yourself that.”

Steve pushed those thoughts out of his mind, as the doorbell rang.  “Finish your homework,” he said to Natalia as he walked over to the door.

The moment Steve opened the door a crack, Wanda Maximoff pushed her way into the house holding a tray of cupcakes.  “Sorry for coming over unexpected.  Mr. Dugan needs you two to sample these and tell him which ones you like best.  He’s also wondering if you have a final count on the guests so he knows how many hors devours to make.”

Steve frowned.  He had insisted that Dugan attend the wedding as a guest and not a caterer but he wasn’t hearing it. Everyday he was sending one of the employees over to have food tastings.  Steve didn’t even understand it.  The wedding was going to be considerably small.  The ceremony would be in the backyard and the reception was going to be in the back room of a restaurant.  They were in no need of a caterer, but Dugan was persistent.

He opened his mouth to protest, but Wanda stepped in.  “Mr. Rogers, I know this is not what you wanted, but either way you _are_ going to need a cake, and hors devours could come in handy before the ceremony begins.”  She smiled softly.  “This is the lowest I was able to get him to go.  He really wants to contribute.”

Steve sighed.  “Alright--look, Bucky’s on the phone.  He and I will try them together and let Dugan know our favorite.  Tell him that, and that I’ll let him know as soon as we have a headcount.”

She nodded.  “Great.  Have you heard from Anthony yet?  I know he was worried about the storm.”

“Yeah,” Steve said rubbing his forehead.  “So far there’s no news on his end, but he’s keeping us updated.”

“Good, I’ll let you know if I hear anything.  He’s had me monitoring the flights since he’s been packing and trying to research a back up plan to get here.  He’ll be here, it’s just a matter of how,”  Wanda said, walking back to the door.  “Let me know if you need anything.”

“Thank you, Wanda.  Right now you’re doing more than enough,” Steve said as Wanda smiled and walked out the door.

Steve looked back to the cupcakes.  “I could’ve just made the cake,” He said more to himself than anyone else.

Natalia snorted.  “Not for your own wedding, Pa.  Live a little.  Besides if there’s one person who can bake better cakes than you it’s Dugan.  Just accept the gesture with a smile.”

Steve raised an eyebrow and glanced down the hall Bucky had disappeared down.  “What are the chances of him having a full guest list?”

“At this point? Not likely.  He might have a small showing, which is better than what he’s got now.  Maybe we can ask Aunt Nat, and Uncle Clint to sit on his side… he and Aunt Nat have really hit it off,” Natalia suggested.

Steve frowned.  It was selfish.  He wanted them to be on _his_ side, they were _Steve’s_ oldest friends, the idea of them of Bucky’s side just didn’t sit right with him.  That being said, he was the one who had made such a big stink about Bucky’s lack of guests.  “Maybe.  Let’s see how many guests he’s able to pull together.”

 Natalia sighed.  “Well regardless, your side is probably going to be more crowded anyway.  Maybe if we put less chairs on each side people will _have_ to sit on his side.  It’ll at least look more even.”

Steve frowned.  The point wasn’t that he wanted the seating to look more equivalent but that he wanted Bucky to have people there to support him.  Steve pushed the thoughts out of his head.  “It doesn’t matter.  The only thing that’s really important is that Bucky and I say ‘I do.’”

Natalia nodded but didn’t look up from her homework.  

Steve took that opportunity to follow after Bucky.  He was in the dining room, he was sitting at the table and his back was to Steve.  Bucky had the phone pressed to his ear and he was laughing at something.  Steve leaned against the arc in the wall and admired his fiance from afar.  God he had gotten so lucky.

Steve heard Bucky mutter a quick ‘goodbye’ and hang up the phone.   Steve walked up behind him and let his arms drape down over Bucky’s neck.  “Hey, Dugan dropped off some cake samples for us to try.”

Bucky looked up at him.  “Yeah? I thought we weren’t accepting any of his catering offers?”

Steve shrugged.  “It’s one less thing for me to do, so I caved.”

Bucky grinned.  “Good, we’ve got enough to take care of here.  I just got off the phone with my commanding officer, he’s gonna come.”

“Yeah?” Steve asked.  “That’s exciting.  I can’t wait to meet him.”

“It’s not a big deal.  I haven’t seen the guy in years.  I’ll ask the guys at work when I see them tomorrow--” Bucky began.

Steve silenced him with a chaste kiss.  “Don’t do anything you don’t want to.  I’m sorry for pushing this.”

“It’s fine, Steve.  Honestly, sometimes I need the push.  It couldn’t hurt to try and be more sociable.  Just don’t expect me to be the life of any parties,” Bucky teased.

“Good, I don’t want to have to worry about keeping up,” Steve laughed as Bucky arched up to meet his lips softly.

They broke apart and Bucky grinned.  “Trust me you won’t have to worry about that.”

“So you’re commanding officer’s coming?  Maybe he’ll be able to tell me some stories from when you served?” Steve asked coyly.

Bucky raised an eyebrow.  “You and me both, most of what I remember from then is such a blur.  It’s kind of the main reason I don’t keep in touch with those guys right now.”

“Really?  You never mentioned that,” Steve asked sadly.  He knew that Bucky had some remaining damage from the war, like Steve did, but Bucky wasn’t as vocal about it as he was.  Steve was ridiculously open about his trauma, sure he didn’t always go looking for proper treatment but if anyone asked about it he was more than likely to talk about it.  Bucky on the other hand… .

“It’s not a big deal, but the fall messed me up big time.  I don’t remember much from the war,” Bucky said nonchalantly.  It was alarming how calm he was being about the whole thing.

“Parts of it are a blur for me too.  Mainly, I can remember everything except the crash but sometimes… some days are better than others,” Steve said, trying to match Bucky’s calm, but it was harder for Steve.  While Steve had no problem talking about it, the days when he couldn’t remember certain details ate at him, Bucky on the other hand seemed to be more well adjusted in that regard.

“You can say that again.  Now, did you say something about cupcakes?” Bucky smiled.

Steve nodded, detaching himself from Bucky.  “Yeah, Wanda dropped off a bunch.  Dugan’s not gonna let this one go.”

“That’s alright, though. We’ve got enough to worry about.  Even you’ve got to admit that it’s nice to have some help.” Bucky stood up from the chair.

“You’re not wrong about that,” Steve admitted.  The wedding had certainly been harder to plan than Steve had anticipated. The first time around Tony had taken care of everything, this was a completely different ballgame.

“It’s not bad to let other people help at times,” Bucky said, taking Steve’s hand in his prosthetic one.  “But you have a tendency to be a bit of a control freak.”

Steve stiffened.  It was true, but that didn’t mean he liked to hear it.  Bucky must have noticed because he laughed.  “It’s not a bad thing, Stevie.”

Steve relaxed a bit as Bucky tugged his arm towards the kitchen.  “C’mon, we shouldn’t keep Dugan waiting.  Maybe the monster can help too?”

Natalia’s head perked up at that. “Help with what, Bucko?”

“Trying some of these delicious cupcakes,” Bucky said as he picked up the container and examining the pastries.

She shook her head.  “I’ll pass, _I_ have a dress to fit into.”

“Well now you have to help,” Steve teased.  “You’re going to fit into your dress no matter what.  I won’t have you pulling what Steph--”

She groaned.  “Pa, it’s not that.  I just don’t want to eat a bunch of cupcakes this close to the wedding.  I’m not going to tempt fate.”

Bucky laughed, “Whatever you say, monster.  More for me.”

Steve nudged him playfully.  “You sure, squirt.”

“Positive.” Natalia closed her notebook.  “I’m gonna go shower, I’ll be down later.”

“Okay,”  Steve said as Bucky took a bite of the first cupcake.  “We’ll be down here if you need anything.”

She didn’t respond; she just headed up the steps as Bucky handed Steve the cupcake.  “This has got to be the one, Steve.  It’s so good.”

“It’s the only one you’ve tried, Buck,” Steve said with a laugh, as he took a much smaller bite of the cupcake.  It was amazing, which was to be expected, Dugan was one hell of a pastry chef.

Bucky looked at him expectantly.  “Well?”

“It’s good, but I think we should at least try the others before we make a decision,” Steve said, placing his hands on his hips.  

Bucky shrugged as he handed Steve the next cupcake.  “You first this time.”

* * *

            _One Week Later--The Wedding Day_

The wedding day had certainly snuck up on them.  Bucky, being old fashioned, had crashed at Sam’s place the night before.  Currently, the house was in complete chaos.  Stephanie was running around putting the final touches on the decorations.  Natalia was having an issue with her hair and Ant still hadn’t gotten in from the train yet.

Steve was running around trying to fix everything from tablecloths to taking out the trash to ensure that he took care of every possible detail.  He hadn’t even gotten himself ready yet, and guests should have been arriving within the next two hours.  

Stephanie walked back inside from the backyard.   She took one look at him and frowned.  “Pa, you should be getting ready.”

He crossed his arms. “I’m waiting for your brother to call--”

“He probably already got a ride from Wanda or Dad.  Please, just relax and get ready.  I got all the chairs setup outside, the decorations are ready, and Dugan will be here any minute with the cake and hor devours.  Right now, all you need to worry about is getting ready.  Everything is going to work out.  I even got Private into his little doggie tux.  Everything is going to be perfect.  In fact, I’m going to go right upstairs and help Natalia with her hair and then all I have to do is put on my dress.”

Steve paused for a moment contemplating his options.  “But what if--”

“Whatever it is, we’ll handle it.  Just go get ready.  You definitely do not want to get married wearing a t-shirt and jeans.” She ushered him up the stairs.

Steve grudgingly entered his bedroom and proceeded to get ready.  He wasn’t nervous, he knew with absolute certainty that marrying Bucky was the best choice he could ever make.  What he was feeling was excitement.  He just wanted to see his fiance and exchange vows so they could begin their lives together.  

Steve got dressed in record time, which was problematic. He had to avoid any of the surfaces that Private had encountered.  The last thing he needed was dog hair on his suit.  He raced down the steps, and gave everything a quick once-over again.  Everything looked to be in place.  Still, Steve couldn’t shake the anticipation.  It was eating at him inside.

Finally, there was a knock on the door.  Steve eagerly opened the it, hoping to see Ant or Bucky, but it was Dugan.  Steve smiled politely as Tim entered the kitchen. Trailing behind him were Wanda and Pietro, who were both holding cases of hors devours.  It appeared as though Dugan was carrying the cake.

Steve followed them into the kitchen as they placed everything down on the counter.  Dugan eagerly made his way over to the refrigerator, clearing out enough room for the cake.

“Thanks for all this, guys,” Steve said appreciatively.  “Bucky and I really appreciate all this.”  He turned to Wanda.  “Any news from Ant?”

Wanda looked at him oddly, as if she didn’t quite understand what Steve was saying.  As Steve opened his mouth to repeat the question the door opened again.  

Ant walked in the house with a grin on his face.  “Sorry I’m late, Pops.  Dad picked me up from the train station.  He’ll be in in a sec.  I’ve gotta go get changed.” Ant paused as he kissed Wanda’s cheek sweetly.

“You told me that you were going to keep your father informed,” she said disapprovingly.

Ant chuckled.  “The surprise wouldn’t have been as good then.”

She gave him a look as he raced up the steps.  Steve shook his head as Tony entered the room… with Pepper.  Steve raised an eyebrow in amusement before calling to the girls.  “You two better be ready, your dad’s here!”

“You need me to get them moving?” Tony asked.

Steve shook his head.  “Nah, they’ve been pretty good.  I think Steph was just helping Tal with her hair or something.  The one thing I never learned to do was hair.”

Pepper laughed politely but it was awkward… definitely awkward.  Thankfully, it wasn’t long before the girls raced down the steps to greet their father.  Steve relaxed as Stephanie immediately hugged Tony tightly.  Natalia on the other hand waited patiently with her arms crossed for her sister to detach herself from their father.

“Hey, Princess,” Tony said.  “Your Pa said that you helped your sister with her hair?”

Stephanie detached herself from Tony.  “She got it done mostly.  I just did the back.”  She smiled as she gave Pepper a light hug.  “Nice to see you, Pepper.  That dress is lovely.”

Natalia, however, rolled her eyes as she gave her father a hug.  “You _really_ needed to bring a date?”

Tony laughed.  “Nice to see you too, peanut.”

She smiled tightly as she pulled away from him. She turned to Pepper, who had panic written all over her face.  “Honestly, Pepper,” Natalia said.  “You could do _a lot_ better than my dad.”

“Be nice, Tal,” Steve said, shaking his head.  He smiled tightly to Tony and Pepper.  “I’m glad you both decided to come today.  It means a lot.”

Before Tony could answer, Ant ran back down the steps.  “When’s Matt getting here, Pops?  Isn’t he officiating?”

Tony snorted.  “Your divorce attorney is officiating the wedding?”

Steve shrugged.  “He’s licensed.  Karen mentioned it when we invited her.  We didn’t know who else to ask.  They should be here soon, by the way.”

“It’ll be nice to see Miss Karen again,” Ant noted.  

Steve’s eyes immediately went to Stephanie.  Out of all the kids, the only one to really express the need for a mother was Steph.  Luckily, she had Natasha who was amazing.  Any time any of the kids needed something she was always there for them.  But god, if Steve hadn’t felt terrible every time Steph would come home from school asking why she didn’t have a mom.

Stephanie didn’t react though.  She just nodded.  “She sounded excited about it in her letters.”

“I’m just gonna go help Dugan--”

"No need, Captain Rogers,” Pietro said politely.  “We’ve got it all handled.”

Steve cleared his throat.  “In that case, please feel free to head out back.  Stephanie’s already set it up and it looks wonderful.  I still have a few last minute things to take care of upstairs.  Let me know if anyone needs anything.”

Ant gave him a look and followed him up the steps.  “Everything okay, Pops?  You know you don’t have to do this if you’re getting cold feet--”

“What?  No.  It’s not that,” Steve said dismissively.  “I’m just anxious-- like he can’t get here soon enough.  Not to mention it’s been a long time since it was just you kids, your dad, and I in a group together, with no other buffers--unless you count Pepper.  What’s going on there, by the way?”

“I’ve got no idea but… Dad’s happy.  Like really genuinely happy.  I don’t know if it’s Pepper or something else, but whatever it is… it’s working.  And I mean, yeah this whole thing is awkward with him being here, but he’s trying to be supportive.” Ant rubbed the back of his neck.

Steve nodded.  “You’re right.  It’s just… weird.  This is the house _we_ used to share--”

“And you said it yourself, it’s going on the market right after you get back from the honeymoon.  You won’t have to worry about that for much longer.  Soon you and Bucky will have your own house that won’t remind you of Dad even a little bit.”

“I know, I know.  It’s just weird having your dad here… uncomfortable considering the last time he was here,” Steve’s voice trailed off.

Ant shuddered.  “Gross, Pops.  I did not need that mental image.”

Steve’s expression softened.  “How was the train ride?”

“Long.  My back is killing me, by the way.  No one should have to sit for that long,” Ant said with a yawn.  “I’m just glad that I made it in time.”

"We would have waited if we had to,” Steve said honestly.  There was no way that Steve would have gotten married without his son present.

Ant waved dismissively.  “Don’t be dumb.  Look, today is supposed to be happy if Dad being here makes you that uncomfortable, I can ask him to leave.”

“No, no.” Steve shook his head.  “I’m glad that he came, it’s just there’s a lot of pressure.  This isn’t going to be _anything_ like when he and I got married--”

“And it shouldn’t be,” Ant cut him off.  “Dad’s not here to judge.  He probably feels just as awkward about it as you do.”

Steve rolled his eyes.  “I doubt it.  Your father has no shame--”

“He does when Steph, Tal, and I are involved.  He’ll avoid making any sort of scene in front of us.” Ant crossed his arms.  “Unless this is about something else?”

Steve shook his head.  It wasn’t.  It was just weird having his ex-husband present as he was about to marry his fiance.  Steve smiled.  “No. . . this is the only thing I’ve been sure about for a while.”

Ant nodded.  “If you’re sure.”

Steve was.  He was more certain about this than anything.  Thing with Tony had been so different than with Bucky.  Steve knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Bucky.  With Tony he had been so young, there was so much he didn’t know about himself then, that wasn’t the case now.

“I’m positive.  Everything alright with you, kid?  You must be busy this time of year,” Steve asked.

“Yeah, I mean I’ve got finals when I go back, so don’t be surprised if I’m studying a lot while I’m here.  Not that you’ll really see it since you’ll be away on the honeymoon.  How long’s the flight gonna be, are you gonna take dramamine?”

“I don’t know.  Those medications don’t usually work on me.  Phil used to say it was because I made myself sick psychologically--it’s not motion sickness,” Steve explained, trying not to think of the long flight he had coming up in two days.  

Ant raised an eyebrow.  “I guess that accident must’ve really messed you up.”

“Thanks,” Steve said sarcastically.  “Love you too, kid.”

“I didn’t mean--”

“Yeah, yeah, I know.  Look just behave for your dad while I’m away.  I know you two tend to butt heads, but I would appreciate it if you could make an effort,” Steve said glancing down the steps where he could still see the shadows of his guests.

"I can’t make any promises, Pops.  I’ll try my best though.  I haven’t seen him in a while, we may actually get along,” Ant teased.

The doorbell rang and Steve’s breath hitched as he went to go answer it.  Ant stopped him.  “Pa, let me.  You’re one of the grooms, not the door man.”

Steve made a face as Ant rushed past him to open the door.  To Steve’s relief, Karen and Matt entered the house.  

Ant tensed slightly. Steve was pretty sure he was the only one who noticed it.  “Hi, Miss Karen,” Ant said, his voice strained subtly.  “Mr. Murdock.”

Karen smiled sweetly.  “Hi, Ant.  Wow, you got so tall!  Congratulations, I hear you’re in college already.”

Ant nodded.  “Ye-yeah, yeah.  It’s harder but I’m doing well.”

Steve stepped in, giving Karen a hug and shaking Matt’s hand.  “Thank you guys for coming.  I really appreciate all your help.  How are the kids?”

Ant relaxed as he made his way outside.  Clearly Steve had underestimated Ant’s emotions towards seeing Karen.  

After some polite conversation, Steve walked Karen and Matt outside, being sure to explain the setup in detail so Matt would know what he was working with.  After a bit of that, Sam and Bucky walked into the backyard.

Steve grinned so widely, it almost hurt… _almost_.  He jogged over to them, completely ignoring Sam as he kissed Bucky’s lips softly.  “I missed you.”

Sam snorted.  “You two were apart for barely twelve hours, calm down.”

Bucky chuckled as Sam walked over to the kids who were quite excited to see him.  “I missed you too.  Staying at Sam’s may not have been the best idea.”

“Why is everything okay?” Steve panicked.

“No-- yeah, yeah, everything’s fine.  It was just weird not sleeping next to you,” Bucky confessed.  “Don’t want to do that again.”

Steve smiled softly.  “Yeah, I know.  Guess we won’t ever have to again, huh?”

“Not unless you’ve got cold feet,” Bucky joked.

“Definitely not.” Steve took Bucky’s hand in his.  “I kind of just want to tell Matt to marry us before everyone else gets here.  I don’t wanna wait anymore.”

“It’s a little less than an hour now, Stevie.  They’ll be here soon and then we can get this show on the road,”  Bucky said trying to hold back his smile.

Steve sighed as he gave a slight nod.  “We should’ve just eloped.”

Bucky shook his head.  “Nah, this is nice.  We’ll get to be that couple that shows everyone their wedding album when people come over.  We get to annoy all our friends and family.”

“Lucky us,” Steve said as he glanced around the yard.  A few more people were starting to make their way in.  Most of them Steve knew, but there were a few people that he didn’t recognize.  It looked like Bucky was having a modest showing afterall.

Steve began to walk over to Clint, Natasha, and Rosie when Bucky froze.  He tugged at Steve’s sleeve.  “Did you invite anyone that wasn’t on my list?” He whispered in Steve’s ear quietly.

Steve shook his head.  “No, why?”

Bucky motioned to a pair of men who had just entered into the yard.  Steve didn’t recognize them, but he assumed they were guests of Bucky.  “That’s Brock and Jack.  I guess one of the guys must have mentioned the wedding.”

Steve stiffened.  “Well then we’ll just have to ask them to leave.  This is our wedding, and the last thing we want is some rude party crashers to ruin everything.”

They didn’t even need to walk over because as Steve finished speaking, the shorter of the two men met Steve’s eye, grinned, and began to walk over to them.  Steve had to assume that he was Brock.  He looked gruff and arrogant and he hadn’t even spoke a word yet.

Steve and Bucky exchanged a glance right before Brock and Jack finally approached them.  This was not quite how Steve envisioned his wedding day.

Brock went to open his mouth, but Bucky spoke first.  “Commander Rumlow, Agent Rollins, what are you doing here?”

The one Steve assumed was Brock chuckled.  “Really with the formalities, Barnes?  I mean we did used to--”

“ _What_ are you doing here?”  Bucky repeated.  “Haven’t you already done enough?  I mean was ruining my life the first time around not enough for you?”

“Alright, alright, let’s calm down a second,” Steve interjected.  “Look, the fact of the matter is you’re here uninvited, and I’m going to have to ask you to leave.  This is a small ceremony and we have limited space.  Besides, clearly you’re making my fiance uncomfortable.  I don’t want things to escalate, but--”

“How very… diplomatic of you.  Christ, Barnes, I see you really went with the safe route--”

“Cut the shit, Rumlow !” Bucky snarled, getting right in Brock’s face.  “I don’t know why you came here and I don’t care-- just go!”

Rumlow laughed again, clearly finding this amusing.  “Oh come on, Barnes.  I had to see if the rumors were true.  You actually found someone desperate enough to put up with you for a lifetime--”

“Alright, that’s enough!” Steve stepped between the two.  “Look, I’ve asked politely, but I’m not against using force if need be.  You need to leave.  This is not a fight you’re gonna win.  Trust me.”  It may have been a while since Steve had to physically fight someone, but he was still in prime shape and had the skills to back it up.  He hadn’t become the youngest Captain to serve by just looking good.  Just because he didn’t want to fight on his wedding day didn’t mean that he wouldn’t if need be.

Brock shook his head.  “He’s funny, Barnes, really.”  He turned back to Steve,  “You’ve been out of the service what about eighteen years now?  Not to mention you’re time in the military was very short-lived.  I don’t know how much your _fiance_ has told you about me, but I was special forces and I’ve only been out of the game for less than two years, Pal.  I really don’t think you want to fuck with me.”

Steve went to open his mouth when someone clapped him on his shoulder.  

“Excuse me, Steve, your _lawyer_ had a few questions for you,” Tony’s voice cut through the tension.  Tony looked to Brock and Jack.  “Oh, I’m sorry.  I’m afraid we haven’t been introduced. Tony Stark.”

“Tony, this isn’t the best time,” Steve said, gritting his teeth.

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Tony said in his usual arrogant tone.  “Is there a problem here?  Because I can get Natasha and Clint involved if you need me to.  I’m sure the two most skilled agents in the CIA can take care of this for you.  I’d hate to see you get your suit all ruined on your wedding day, Cap.”

Steve smirked seeing Brock’s face process all the information that Tony _conveniently_ provided.  “Thanks, Tony, but Bucky and I can handle it.  I don’t think there’s any need for this to come to blows.”

Tony eyed Brock and Jack carefully before giving a slight nod.  “Aye, aye, Cap.  Let me know if you change your mind.”

Steve nodded as Tony walked away.  “Listen are we done here?  Personally, I’d rather not spend my wedding day fighting with my fiance’s party crashing ex-boyfriend.”

Brock moved to punch Steve but Jack put his his hand on Brock’s arm and shook his head in a warning.  “It’s not worth it.”  He muttered as he motioned towards the gate to leave.

Brock grudgingly followed Jack out of the yard.  Steve watched carefully, making sure that they didn’t try anything funny on their way out.  Once they were completely out of the yard Steve turned to see Bucky who looked extremely pale.

“You okay?” Steve asked.

Bucky nodded but Steve wasn’t convinced.  Bucky rarely spoke about his relationship with Brock.  All Steve really knew was that Brock was manipulative and cheated on Bucky.  Something told him there was more to the story, considering Bucky’s reaction.

“You sure?  Because if you want to go inside for a minute and talk or… if you want a minute to yourself, I’d understand.  He doesn’t seem like someone who would have been too fun to live with.”  Steve rubbed the back of his neck, not sure what else to say.

Bucky shook his head.  “Nah, I’ll be fine.  I just wasn’t expecting to see him here.  I can’t believe someone told him about this.  I thought these were people I could trust.”

Steve shrugged.  “Maybe whoever it was meant well.  Or maybe Brock just saw the invitation in someone’s house.  It doesn’t matter, because we’re not going to let this ruin our day, right?”

Bucky’s face brightened up and he gave Steve a smile.  “Hell no, we’re not.”

Steve grinned again.  “He’s gone now.  Hopefully we won’t ever have to see him again.  Whatever your past with him held… that’s over now… forever.”

“Yeah--yeah it is.  It’s just you and me now… and the kids, who I love by the way,” Bucky said, running a hand through his hair.

Steve nodded as he glanced over at his kids.  “You really are great with them, especially Natalia.  Who knows, maybe you and I can adopt or something… sooner rather than later?”

"Yeah, maybe.  I’m not in a rush.  I’d kind of like us to have some time to just ourselves before we bring a baby into the mix.  But yeah, down the line I would like that.”  Bucky took Steve’s hand in his.  “I’d like to get a feel for married life before I become a dad.  Besides, I can practice on your kids for a while.”

Steve snorted.  “Teenagers and babies are pretty different, Buck.  But yeah, it’ll be nice to focus on us for a bit.”

Someone tapped lightly on Steve’s shoulder.  Steve turned to see Ant.  “Hey, Pops.  Matt said he’s ready when you guys are.  I guess it’s showtime.”

Steve smiled as he looked at Bucky.  “You ready?”

Bucky nodded back.  “I’m tired of waiting so long.”

They took their places in front of the crowd.  Ant stood beside Steve as his best man, and Sam behind Bucky.  Matt cleared his throat as he began reciting the typical wedding ceremony.  Steve found himself meeting Bucky’s eyes the entire time.  The two were having an entire conversation without saying a word.  Neither of them cared much about the technicalities, in fact a few times they had to keep from laughing because none of this actually mattered.  They were going to be together for the rest of their lives.  This ancient proverb that Matt was reciting didn’t make the slightest impact.  Steve could stand across from Bucky for the rest of his life and it would be a thousand times more interesting than whatever Matt was saying.

Finally it came time for them to exchange their vows.  Bucky went first.  He was clearly nervous.  He gave a quick laugh before looking right at Steve.  “Most of you who know me, know that I’m not much of a talker.  I usually keep to myself and I like it that way.  But with Steve… I never want to _stop_ talking.  I promise that we will always be together, and I will always love you, but most of all I promise that I will spend the rest of my life talking to you… even when I have nothing to say.”

Steve smiled at him, touched.  He wasn’t sure what he was expecting him to say, but it wasn’t that.  He finally realized why Bucky didn’t have too many friends.  Bucky only let certain people into his world, and Steve was privileged enough to be one of them.

“Bucky,” Steve cleared his throat, trying not to get too choked up.  “If you had told me when Sam introduced me to the new architect that I’d be marrying him a year later, I’d call you crazy.  I was alone for a while, and I never thought I’d be standing here again.  But I realize that I’m standing here, not for the second time, but the first.  This is my first and only time marrying you, and I know that I’m never going to marry anyone else ever again.  I know we’ve had our disagreements, but fighting with you is far better than how I felt when I was alone.  Before I met you… I wasn’t myself.  But I promise… I vow that with you, I’ll never stop trying to be the best person I can be.”

They exchanged wedding bands and a quick kiss.  

Before the ceremony ended, Bucky spoke up again.  “If you’ll give me just one more minute.  I’d like to thank my now step-children for graciously welcoming me into their home and into their family.  They really could have made things difficult for me, but they were nothing but warm and openhearted.  I know that you already have two wonderful fathers, and I’m not trying to overstep, but I’m hopeful that we can build a meaningful relationship too.  I’m not just marrying your Pops, I’m permanently becoming a part of your lives too, and that’s not something I take lightly.  So I promise _you_ that while I may not be your parent, and I may not know how to fulfill my role as step-dad, that I will try my best to at least be someone you can talk to and come to when you just can’t talk to your fathers.  I promise that I won’t just be your Pop’s new husband, but your new confidant, and someone who will always be in your corner.”

Steve lost it.  The tears were streaming and they wouldn’t stop.   _This_ was the icing on the cake.  Bucky was not only good to him but amazing to his children.  Bucky had just promised to put them first--to put the people Steve valued more than anything else in the world first.  He was so overwhelmed, he hadn’t imagine that their vow exchange would be so incredible.  Steve knew, without a single doubt, that neither of them would ever break these vows.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally going to make this even longer and go into Steve and Bucky adopting children... I may make a short ficlet about it in the future, but we'll see. Thank you again for taking the time to read. You can always send me prompts on [tumblr. text](http://karadanverss.tumblr.com/ask)  
> I am currently working on something for the Stucky Big Bang and I do have a Stony AU in the works too.


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